Cheating doesn't always happen in spite of how much it hurts you. Sometimes it happens because it hurts you - because that's the exact reason they want you to feel that pain, to feel less than. But the psychology behind serial cheating is more complex than we might think, and understanding it can help us make better decisions about our relationships and our own healing.

This week, I sit down with Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, to explore the real motivations behind serial cheating. We dive deep into the concept of "eroticized rage" and how cheaters use infidelity to restore power, seek revenge, transgress social norms, or possess what feels out of reach. Kate explains why the common narrative of "unmet sexual needs" is actually bullshit - men don't have a biological need for sex, and cheating is rarely about the betrayed partner at all. We discuss the difference between compulsive sexual behavior and coercive control, why some people weaponize the "sex addiction" label, and how patriarchal conditioning creates sexual entitlement in relationships. Kate also shares insights on why saying "just leave" isn't always realistic and how to assess whether a relationship involving infidelity is worth trying to repair. Throughout our conversation, we emphasize that no one is entitled to sex from another person, and that healing from betrayal requires individual work - not couples therapy.

Resources Mentioned:

Dr. Kate Balestrieri's book: "What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure": https://a.co/d/7Cj0iCb 

"Isn't Sex My Right?" webinar featuring Dr. Kate Balestrieri https://strongerthanbefore.podia.com/isn-t-sex-my-right-why-sexual-coercion-is-abuse-webinar-replay 

Connect with Dr. Kate Balestrieri:

Website: https://www.modernintimacy.com/

Social Media: @drkatebalestrieri

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