Cliff Joannou is Editor In Chief at Stream Publishing working across Attitude magazine, the UK and Europe’s biggest LGBTQ+ media brand, and Rolling Stone UK, the world-famous music, film, and TV brand.

What is shame? It is usually unspoken and undetected because it is uncomfortable and/or part of some people’s everyday experiences. We all have shame because it is a normal human emotion. But shame can be uncontained when it is bubbling underneath the surface, undetected.

Queer people have a particular relationship with shame because their sexual orientations, their eroticism, their gender identities, etc. tend to be shamed by our heteronormative and mono-normative society. The seed of shame can be planted in early life by society and our upbringing by parents, and it can grow and grow until it becomes uncontained. On the surface, there are many behaviours that indicate that uncontained shame is pulling the strings: attacking self, attacking others (including bitchiness), perfectionism, or withdrawing/numbing (substance use, etc.). 

Shame is one of the single most debilitating factors in the struggle to forge a life one can value. It can destroy lives, and Cliff shares some of the challenges he has had to face in his quest to thrive and succeed. Silva and Ben explore this issue, which is often so painful the individual may not even recognise it for what it truly is. By looking at the different psychological components of shame, they consider ways of reducing its influence in people’s lives and point towards ways it can ultimately be disarmed.