Show 70: How to Raise a Dog: Why You Need to Say “No” and Teach Dogs Boundaries
Description
If you’re here because you’re wondering how to teach boundaries to dogs, I’m here to commend you!
I know it’s tough. When our dogs start to show their puppy eyes, denying their requests becomes so hard.
But there is power in SAYING NO.
When dog owners say NO, it paves the way for better obedience training, and dogs that are calmer and easier to take care of.
Additionally, dog owners who say NO are less likely to deal with aggressive, restless, stressed, and anxious dogs who don’t listen.
“How is that possible, Dan? Can behavior problems really start because of not saying NO?”
YES.
Giving NO to your dog equals you showing your leadership and boundaries.
And setting those two in place can make a BIG difference to your training and relationship with your dogs.
Read on to learn how to teach boundaries to dogs and why NO is one of your most powerful dog training tools.
Key Takeaways:
- A dog that gets YES all the time will start to think that they’re in charge. And when they think they’re the leader, behavior problems such as barking, aggression, and disobedience come up.
- Saying NO does not need to come with a heavy, angry energy. Using a calm energy while saying NO can communicate that your answer still comes from a place of love.
- You need to say NO to your dogs because it is one of the most powerful ways to show dogs that you’re in charge, you’re the leader of the pack.
SET BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR DOGS THE RIGHT WAY WITH THE DOG CALMING CODE™️
Table of Contents:
- Why Set Boundaries With Dogs? My Experience with Spoiled Dogs
- How to Teach Boundaries: The Power of NO in Dog Psychology
- How to Teach Dog Boundaries By Saying NO
- Why No is an Expression of Love and a Powerful Way of Teaching Dogs Boundaries
- Dog Calming Code: The Program That Will Help You Set Boundaries… With Love
Why Set Boundaries With Dogs? My Experience with Spoiled Dogs
Here’s what I’ve learned in my years of working with dogs: some of the hardest dogs to train are the ones that receive SO MUCH LOVE.
Disclaimer: showering our dogs in love is not inherently bad. However, when great love comes with zero boundaries and no rules, it becomes a problem.
Dogs who are constantly given EVERYTHING they demand become a big problem to the owners that adore them.
I’ve seen this firsthand.
Some would come up to me asking “Dan, we’ve given our dog everything! What could be the problem?”
THE DOG CALMING CODE: THE ONLINE PROGRAM THAT HELP YOU RAISE BETTER BEHAVED DOGS
What Saying “YES” to Every Request (AKA Spoiling Your Dog) Does To Them
Here’s the problem: if your dog is acting up, not listening, and still charging around despite asking them to behave, you might check if you have a spoiled dog.
Ask these questions…
- Am I saying yes to my dog’s requests all the time?
- Am I letting my dog run the show and make the decisions?
- Do I treat disobedience with leniency instead of really setting the rules?
If you said YES to any of these questions, you could be dealing with a spoiled dog.
Spoiled dogs are just like spoiled kids: they are defiant, they are hard to control, and it’s a challenge to get them to respect authority and boundaries.
Some may say “Oh, they’re just acting up because that’s part of their personality.”
But the bottomline is this: because your dog sees you respond to every bark, every request for treats, every nudge for snuggles, your dog feels they are in charge—they can get whatever they want, WHENEVER!
Giving a YES can be tempting, but in the long run, letting dogs have everything they want can have serious consequences.
BE THE LEADER IN YOUR DOG’S EYES WITH THE HELP OF THE DOG CALMING CODE
Consequence #1: Dogs In Charge Have Zero Downtime. They’re Constantly on High Alert
Constantly saying YES to your dog’s demands has their mind going…
“Aha! They said yes to my requests. They gave me treats when asked for some. I peed on the floor and I didn’t get a timeout! I barked and we walked! They gave me everything! Looks like I am the new leader here now.”
You’ll see the signs once the leadership hat switches from your head to theirs—they’ll be more defiant, they’ll invade your space more demanding attention.
Sleeping is also difficult for dogs who think they’re in charge. Even if they do lie down, they sleep lightly…making them even more anxious. Because all the time they’re tightly focused on ensuring the safety of you and the property.
Their system is perpetually stressed from all the guarding and protecting, leaving them exhausted, worried and more prone to health issues.
Consequence #2: They're the Leader, They Find No Reason to Listen to You
Dogs are masterminds. Their seemingly safe, sweet cues can actually be their way of checking if you’re the leader they can trust and rely on.
And if you give in, you lose that leadership in your dog’s eyes.
When your dog starts to perceive themselves as the leader, they may not see any reason to listen to your commands.
They’ll ignore your requests, become disobedient, or refuse to follow basic training cues. This makes it difficult to manage and control your dog, leading to frustration for both you and your pet.
BRING BACK THE CALM TO YOUR DOGS WITH THE HELP OF THE DOG CALMING CODE
Effect #3: It's Like a Go Signal That They Can Do Anything They Want
Saying "YES" to every request without setting boundaries or rules can give your dog the impression that they can do anything they want without consequences.
They may engage in destructive behavior, such as chewing furniture or digging in the garden, because they haven't learned appropriate limits.
Your dog might not understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior, which can lead to confusion and chaos in your household.
How to Teach Boundaries: The Power of NO in Dog Psychology
Here’s a quick scenario that can help you understand why NO should be an integral part of dog training.
Between a teacher who lets everything pass every single time, and one who gently but firmly reinforces the rules, who would you follow when they say “Please pay attention to me.”
I bet you would also say the latter.
And there’s good reason, right? They set clear rules, they firmly stick to it, and they have clear expectations that you follow them. They are in charge of the class, and they don’t allow anyone to freely challenge her rules.
It’s the same when you try to teach boundaries to dogs.
Through The Lens of Dog Psychology: Why NO is Powerful
Setting boundaries with our dogs starts by saying NO.
Why?
Because for dogs to calm down, to behave, and to be more obedient, they have to know YOU are the Alpha who sets the rules in place for safety and survival.
If you’re familiar with Doggy Dan’s Five Golden Rules, you’ll know the way to make a dog switch off and calm down is to show them you’re the pack leader, the ultimate decision maker.
- You make all the decisions.
- Your word is final.
- You are in charge of setting the rules and expectations.
And the best way to show them you’re in charge, and that they don’t call the shots is BY SAYING NO.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DOGGY DAN’S FIVE GOLDEN RULES WITH THE DOG CALMING CODE
How to Teach Dog Boundaries By Saying NO
#1: Understand That You Can Say No with Love
Most dog owners hesitate to say No to their dogs because they associate the word with disappointment, anger, and exasperation.
Truth is, you can say NO in the most gentle, proactive way.
For dogs, it’s all about your energy.
Instead of saying (or shouting!) “No! You can’t do that!”
You can embrace calmness while saying to your dog “No, I won’t allow that. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Using a gentle tone communicates love despite denying your dog something they want.
SET YOUR RULES WITH LOVE. LEARN HOW WITH THE DOG CALMING CODE
#2: You Set the Rules, Not Your Dog
Unfortunately, some dogs live in a household with zero rules, so the dog gets creative and makes these themselves.
And because they are now the rule