Welcome to S03E02: the poetry, fake your own death, embezzlement, Cluedo, Persian rug, DNA test, boating reprise episode of The Brokenwood Mysteries, featuring homosexualism, St Judas church and Amelia and Rebecca's friend's brother as a grave digger.

If you knew you were going to die, would you pre-record yourself reading a poem to play at your funeral, or would you get the local florist to do it for you?

If you ran a funeral home, would you let a coffin slide out of a hearse onto the road?

If someone came from San Francisco to play a role-play version of Cluedo with you and they disappeared, would you assume they just went back to San Francisco again?

If you got a tattoo of your own name, would you choose the font Lucida Italic?

Things have got complicated. Jared's an orphan. Everyone who's ever died in a Shortland Street Christmas cliffhanger is here. And in Logs On, we find out what was in Fern Sutherland's beauty bag in 2016.

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