This week on Critical Arcade, Dave and Nick polish up their lightsabers and take on Star Wars: The New Droid Army, a Game Boy Advance title that boldly asks the question: “What if Anakin Skywalker had a bad day, bad intel, and a worse run animation?” Set between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, this pocket-sized adventure drops Anakin onto Tatooine with a mission to investigate a new kind of droid that, somehow, completely ignores lightsabers, which seems like something the Jedi Council probably should've mentioned before deployment.

As Anakin, the boys battle through wave after wave of robotic enemies, shady bounty hunters, and the occasional “wait, where am I supposed to go?” moment, all while navigating levels that look like someone spilled Star Wars onto a spreadsheet. But hidden beneath the crunchy graphics and suspicious hitboxes is a story filled with betrayal, double-crosses, and enough lightsaber swinging to qualify as cardio. Can Dave's Nostalgia goggles find any redeeming qualities in a game as complex as Jar Jar Binks? Will Nick ever remember the name of Liam Neeson’s character in the Phantom Menace?

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