If you help someone out, that builds trust with them – right?

Stephen Lee, assistant professor of management at the Carson College of Business at Washington State University, says that might not always be the case.

Dr. Stephen Lee is an Assistant Professor of Management in the Department of Management, Information Systems, and Entrepreneurship (MISE) at Washington State University’s Carson College of Business. His research explores the ambiguous intentions and competing motives behind behaviors in the workplace, including behaviors typically presumed to be self-interested (i.e., gossip), as well as behaviors typically presumed to be cooperative (i.e., helping). A central focus of his work is understanding how social interactions in the workplace are perceived by others, and how these perceptions influence both the effectiveness and unintended consequences of these behaviors. His research has been published in leading journals such as the Academy of Management Journal, Journal of Applied Psychology, Personnel Psychology, and Journal of Organizational Behavior.

How Emotions Influence the Way Help Is Perceived

In many workplaces, helping others is encouraged—and often expected. But not all help is received the same way.

Our research found that how people express emotions while helping can shape whether their efforts build trust or quietly backfire.

We ran three studies to explore how people respond to different emotional expressions. Specifically, we looked at gratitude and sympathy, what we call socially engaging emotions, and compared them to pride and contempt, which are socially disengaging.

When helpers expressed gratitude or sympathy, it signaled to recipients a desire to be connected, which made their help more likely to appear sincere and well-intentioned. That helped build stronger relationships and made recipients more willing to trust them and return the favor.

But when people expressed pride or contempt, through things like a smug comment, an eyeroll, or a condescending tone, recipients often questioned their underlying motives. The help seemed self-serving or forced, and that often led to a breakdown in trust.

What this tells us is that people aren’t passive. They notice emotional cues, even subtle ones, and use them to figure out why someone is helping—and then respond accordingly.

For managers and team leaders, this matters. Modeling sincere, emotionally engaging behavior, like helping others out of gratitude or genuine concern, can set the tone for a more collaborative workplace.

Even at the individual level, reflecting on help we’ve received and practicing empathy can help us express more authentic emotions and build stronger social connections.

Because in the end, it’s not just what you do to help, it’s how you show it that makes all the difference.

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