Digest

This podcast episode offers a deep dive into the 1993 film "Surf Ninjas," analyzing its convoluted plot, questionable character portrayals, and bizarre comedic moments. Hosts and guests, including Nick Cowan who played Adam, discuss the film's unique blend of martial arts, surfing, and ninja action, often highlighting its unintentional humor and nonsensical elements. The discussion touches upon the performances of Ernie Reyes Jr., Rob Schneider, and Leslie Nielsen, the fictional island of Patusan, the recurring greeting "Quansu," and the integration of the Sega Game Gear. Audience questions and Amazon reviews are also featured, providing further perspectives on the film's cult status as a "fun bad" movie.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction and Guest Lineup

The podcast kicks off with a dramatic intro and an announcement for a live show. The hosts introduce the movie "Surf Ninjas" and welcome co-hosts Gillo Zerry, Nicole Byer, and Rob Hubel, setting the stage for a discussion of the film.

00:05:03

Initial Reactions and Backstory of "Surf Ninjas"

The hosts and guests share their first impressions of "Surf Ninjas," noting its surprisingly dark themes for a children's movie. They discuss filming locations, budget speculation, and the backstory of Ernie Reyes Jr., his father, and his involvement in karate films.

00:09:33

Character Analysis and Inconsistencies

The discussion delves into the main characters, including Ernie Reyes Jr., Adam, and Rob Schneider, critiquing Schneider's casting and portrayal. The ninjas' ineffectiveness, poor tactics, and camouflage are ridiculed, alongside the introduction of "moto surfing" and plot points like character age discrepancies and inauthentic dialogue.

00:15:46

Patusan, Writer's Motifs, and Filmography

The fictional island of Patusan is introduced, linking it to Joseph Conrad's "Lord Jim." The writer's recurring island motif and his genre shift from "Surf Ninjas" to serious dramas are explored, alongside the awkward "ethnic dance" scene and the reception of an "ethnic song."

00:21:05

Plot Holes, Character Ambiguity, and Leslie Nielsen's Performance

Frustration is expressed over the lack of consequences and rapid plot progression. Tone Loc's ambiguous role and decision-making are questioned. Leslie Nielsen's performance is analyzed, contrasting his comedic moments with the film's dark scenes, and a rumor about his method acting is discussed.

00:25:16

Colonel Chi, Patusan Culture, and Disturbing Scenes

Colonel Chi's character and casting are scrutinized, particularly his whiteness. The elephant incident and survival myth are discussed. Ernie Reyes Jr.'s rescue and introduction to Patusan culture are covered, along with the disturbing marriage proposal scene and Rob Schneider's ending joke.

00:31:11

Sega Game Gear Integration and Game vs. Movie Violence

The integration of the Sega Game Gear into the film is highlighted, with revelations about Sega's financing and the need for game-friendly sequences. Leslie Nielsen's character in the game is discussed, along with the Game Gear's predictive capabilities and a comparison of violence levels between the movie and the game.

00:33:17

Production Issues and Character Transformations

Speculation arises that the production ran out of money, leading to simplified visual effects. Adam's control over Ernie Reyes Jr. and his seer abilities are discussed, along with his choice between the Game Gear and a gun. Visual cues for surfboard transformations and logistical questions about scene execution are also covered.

00:36:02

Jokes, Parent's Murder, and Adoption Revelation

A "Found Waldo" joke and the writer's references are discussed. The murder of the parents by Leslie Nielsen and the brothers' indifferent reaction are described, along with their disbelief and the oddity of their white father. The cook's role and the casual revelation of adoption are also noted.

00:38:27

Romance, Empowerment, and Innuendo

The lack of chemistry in romantic scenes is discussed, alongside a jarring female empowerment message and confusion surrounding a rhyme about veils. Potential gang rape innuendo, "playboy" mentions, and a smoking scene with Rob Schneider are highlighted, along with an anti-smoking message.

00:43:01

Parade Scene, Music, and Dialogue Critiques

The poorly executed parade scene and generic music are criticized. The opening scene's dialogue about music is discussed, along with a line about returning to the "hood" and a favorite joke about eating a police key, whose illogical nature is then analyzed.

00:45:04

Humorous Scenarios and Final Fight Scene

A humorous suggestion for a "Rogue One"-style bridge scene involving Tone Loc is made. Tone Loc's priorities and neighborhood reactions are contrasted. The parade scene is revisited with a stock footage-like cut, and the final fight scene is discussed, focusing on a graphic depiction of Leslie Nielsen's anatomy.

00:48:24

Audience Questions and "Quansu"

The hosts open the floor for audience questions, introducing the recurring "Quansu" greeting. Questions are raised about Leslie Nielsen sharpening an electric knife, the logistics of transporting goods like dynamite and musical instruments, and the movie's geography and sailing routes.

00:53:16

Sequel Speculation and Guest Introduction: Nick Cowan

An audience member speculates about a potential sequel. Confusion arises over the greeting "Pansu" vs. "Quansu." Nick Cowan, who played Adam in "Surf Ninjas," is introduced and joins the discussion.

00:56:02

Nick Cowan's Career and "Surf Ninjas" Experience

Nick Cowan discusses his career at the time of "Surf Ninjas," his first major role, and his excitement working with Ernie Reyes Jr. He shares his experience with the Sega Game Gear and clarifies his understanding of his role, believing he was controlling Ernie Reyes Jr.'s character.

00:59:00

Sequel Talk, Leslie Nielsen, and Skills

Nick Cowan mentions talks of a "Surf Ninjas" sequel. He shares a brief interaction with Leslie Nielsen, noting he didn't share screen time and Nielsen might have mistaken him for an extra. Cowan humorously states he is neither a surfer nor a ninja and reveals his fear of the ocean.

01:00:22

Final Thoughts and Humorous Anecdote

The hosts compliment Nick Cowan's performance. They discuss the movie's illogical aspects but acknowledge the believable brotherly relationship. A guest shares a funny and slightly explicit anecdote about a song sung in Thailand.

01:01:44

Movie Ending, Second Opinions, and Merchandise

The podcast discusses the movie's ending, the reprise of a classic song, and audience confusion. The "Second Opinions" segment features Amazon reviews, and the hosts debate whether "Surf Ninjas" is a recommendable "fun bad" movie. The novelization and Sega Game Gear merchandise are also mentioned.

01:11:52

Guest Updates, Social Media, and Credits

The guests share updates on their current projects, including new seasons of shows and upcoming TV series. The hosts promote their social media channels and thank the production team and contributors to the podcast.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is the fictional island featured in "Surf Ninjas" called?

  The fictional island featured in "Surf Ninjas" is called Patusan. It plays a central role in the movie's plot and is also referenced in other works by the film's writer.

• Who played the villainous Colonel Chi in "Surf Ninjas"?

  The villainous Colonel Chi in "Surf Ninjas" was played by the renowned comedic actor Leslie Nielsen, known for his deadpan humor and ability to portray both menacing and humorous characters.

• What is the significance of the greeting "Quansu" in "Surf Ninjas"?

  "Quansu" is a fictional greeting used within the movie "Surf Ninjas." It's presented as a form of salutation or cultural expression by the characters, adding a unique element to the film's world.

• What was the main criticism regarding Rob Schneider's character in "Surf Ninjas"?

  A primary criticism of Rob Schneider's character in "Surf Ninjas" was his casting as a teenager despite being significantly older, leading to a disconnect with the character's supposed age and appearance.

• What unique aspect of the "Surf Ninjas" video game is mentioned?

  The "Surf Ninjas" video game featured Leslie Nielsen's character using profanity, which was a notable departure from the film's more family-friendly (though still questionable) tone.

• What was the humorous anecdote shared by a guest at the beginning of this segment?

  A guest recounted a funny and slightly explicit song about a mosquito on someone's private parts, sung in Thailand due to the hot and humid weather.

• How does the podcast segment "Second Opinions" function?

  This segment features various Amazon reviews for the movie "Surf Ninjas," presenting a range of humorous and sometimes contradictory opinions from different viewers.

• What is the general consensus on whether "Surf Ninjas" is a recommendable movie?

  Most hosts agree it's a "fun bad" movie, enjoyable for its unintentional humor, though one host suggests fast-forwarding to specific scenes.

• What merchandise related to "Surf Ninjas" is mentioned?

  The discussion includes the availability of the "Surf Ninjas" novelization and a used Sega Game Gear console, highlighting the film's cult status.

• Did Nick Cowan, who played Adam, have any knowledge of a potential "Surf Ninjas" sequel?

  Yes, Nick Cowan mentioned that there was talk of a "Surf Ninjas" sequel around the time of the film's premiere.

Show Notes