TPJ 45: Dealing With Entitlement & Ungratefulness
Do your children ever act entitled or ungrateful? Mine do, and it’s a major trigger for me. While I don’t want to deprive my children of abundance, safety, joy, experiences and some material things, I don’t want to raise entitled and ungrateful children (who will turn into entitled and ungrateful adults)! So what are we to do??
That’s what we’re talking about in today’s episode.
[3:59] How entitled are our kids? We can use these questions as a gauge.
[6:36] If our children are acting entitled, what do we do? Getting angry or yelling makes it worse.
[7:28] Giving in makes it worse too.
[11:02] My aim isn’t to give my kids a fairy tale existence.
[17:24] It’s a gradual learning curve.
[19:48] Entitlement isn’t about having “the thing”; it’s about the attitude toward having “the thing”.
[20:06] The opposite of entitlement isn’t deprivation; the opposite of entitlement is gratitude.
[21:34] Practical step #1 to decreasing our children’s entitlement: Restrain our overprotective instincts.
[24:30] Practical step #2: Help them frame frustrations within a broader perspective.
[26:59] Practical step #3: We should avoid bribing our children or paying them for chores.
[28:29] Practical step #4: Stop doing things for your children that they can do for themselves.
[30:27] Practical step #5: Practice gratitude regularly.
[33:07] Practical step #6: Give our children perspective by sharing how difficult things are/were for other people.
The opposite of entitlement is gratitude, and the route to gratitude is perspective. We need to remind ourselves of how good we have it and stop taking it for granted.
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Links & resources mentioned:
- Next Bliss Retreat
- Empathic Limits Course
- Amy McCready’s book “The Me, Me, Me Epidemic”
- Peaceful Parenting Doesn't Work?!
- Allowance and Chores
- 10 Tips for Teaching Gratitude
Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/45