DiscoverManHeartedThat Thing You Always Meant To Do But Never Did—Manning Up to Boyish Dreams
That Thing You Always Meant To Do But Never Did—Manning Up to Boyish Dreams

That Thing You Always Meant To Do But Never Did—Manning Up to Boyish Dreams

Update: 2021-06-06
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A lot of us would like to go back and do things differently (learn guitar, study karate, skipper a boat) except, to start over we'd have to go back. Or do we? Asher cast shade on bucket lists, giving up, and getting old (in the sense of setting aside childhood dreams). He makes the case for telling "Dad" to go to Hell (if need be), relabelling 50 (if that's us) the new 16, and getting off our ass to do something cool. Screw the midlife crisis. There's a midlife awakening!

Today I would like to talk about recovering those dreams that we had when we were young and doing them. Now it's not dwelling on the past with some kind of nostalgia. How many movies are out there where it's Scooby doo remade, the Brady bunch remade something else from our childhood remade. So, you know, for the older set to remember how it was and the younger set to maybe get introduced, to invest in these things, God, they're terrible. But my point is, I'm not lingering on the idea of stallion. I'm talking about, you know, being man hearted and doing something about it. So I'm going to get into more of that in a moment, but first I want to reiterate a couple of things. So our excellence and manhood award for the month goes to Anderson Cooper. I'm sorry, not Anderson Cooper. Anderson Cooper was last month, but this month is Brian [inaudible].

And if you've been following the episodes, you know why capital officer Brian sickening stood against a bunch of cowardly bullies who attacked our democracy, attacked our Capitol, attacked the American form of government and did it all in the name of their whiny, axed, all in the name of being disappointed with their lot in life and needing something to blame. And it's not like they did it with a better idea. Somebody that actually has something to bring. These are guys that took a dump on the Capitol carpet. Their only idea was to tear down and deface and accordingly, they bashed this guy in the head with a fire extinguisher, maced him with bear mace and pummeled him savagely. And on the other hand, Brian [inaudible] was a man. That's the difference, Brian, sick Nick, as opposed to the capital insurrectionists was an actual man. And so he gets the excellence in manhood award.

I just want to continue to remember officer [inaudible] who died this year in 2021. And of course, if you're interested in the Lily livered Wolf's award, the L L w a you know who I gave it to last time, but I don't want to wait for the next one because the list is too long. You know, we're going to have to go through this a lot more frequently. So you know, I've been itching to do this for a long time, so I'm not holding back. The L L w a this time is going to early. We're going to issue a special edition of the L L w a. It's going to Kyle Rittenhouse. Yes, the little punk kid that shot up a protest of unarmed people. He got an assault weapon to go after people that didn't have any weapon. He shot up people that the big scary people, what they were doing was marching.

He shot unarmed people, which is the mark of every cowardly was out there. And this is a guy that instead of facing up to it, like a man said, well, you know, the underground, the alt-right the Patriot movement. These guys will protect me, man. He's in such need of protection, I guess, but he's done nothing, but defy refuse to man up and be accountable for his actions and keeps looking for somebody else to protect him. Because, oh, in his mind, he's a freedom fighter. But in my mind, he's a wuss deserves to get his kicked. I hope he does. You know, if the kid wasn't that much younger than me, I I'd love a cage match myself. God, when an annoying was all right. So that gets the awards out of the way. Let's go back to this thing we're talking about, by the way, for those of you right in who think this was political, I don't give a what your politics are being a man.

Isn't about choosing a side. I'm sorry, but you know, there's men on both sides and there's, Willis's on both sides. And a was as a, was a punk as a punk and a man as a man. So come on, don't try to defend something on the basis of politics. Don't do that thing. That was his do, which is, oh, you picked on somebody from my side and now that you're a bad man, you're a bad person. Stop it. All right. So let's go back to toy talking about recovering the broken dreams of your youth. So I'm having a conversation the other day with a guy in Meyer. He's a former Marine, currently a, a chef with his own restaurant. So he's a business owner to Gaia tattoos up and down, both his arms. And I got to tell ya, he makes the best freaking pancakes of all time.

I've just never had better. I don't think anybody's mom makes it better. He deserves mom's status. He needs a mom award because of the qualities, pancakes. And anyway, the point is I started talking to him about music. We're talking about music and how it used to be in the old days or something like that. And he mentioned having a guitar or something that he's always meant to pick up, et cetera. And he's talking about his father and, you know, stamping out some of the things he wanted to do. And I asked him, so did your dad kind of do the, you know, and don't play guitar. They put aside fanciful dreams and get a job kind of thing. It's like, oh yeah, every day, I couldn't do anything like that. You know, my dad would, it would've killed it. And I said, me too, man.

And you know, one of the things I told him, which I'll tell you my audiences, I beat cancer. So, you know, at, at 50 I got cancer and we we had to cut it out of me. And I remember, you know, most of the people I told it to were like, oh, I'm so sorry. So sorry. I'm like, God it. Yeah. What are you my funeral? You know, are you, you're doing my eulogy already? You know, I feel like, God, yeah, thanks for the greeting card. No, I don't need you to say I'm so sorry. I heard stuff like go watch a bunch of TV and tune it out. Like, no, I need to gear up for the fight. And I need you, you people to say things like, go kick its, Asher, go murder that cancer, cut it out, beat it to death, throw it to the side of the road and then spin on it, give it the finger, curse its mother, and then burn it, set it on fire, get rid of the cancer.

So I did, I found, you know, these doctors that I'm interviewing doctors, you got to do that. You've got to pick your surgeon. They had doctors that quote in the textbook and you know, we don't really know. And most likely we can't, we don't know if we can save you and you're going to have to do all this stuff. And I'm like, oh God, I found a warrior, a man hearted woman, a surgeon that said, I got a vision for winning. Well, you and I are going to win. When you're going to have to drive, you're going to be the general. I'm going to be the Colonel, but we're going to attack this thing. And I'm like, oh God, yes, where's my we're doing it. Where's my tank. Let's go after this. You know? And so we took, we took a knife to that sucker and we cut it out.

We murdered it. And I'm cancer free to this day. And what that did to me attacking it like a Viking, attacking it like Wharf on star Trek. This is a good day to die, attacking it like a warrior is it made me take a look and go, wow, I beat that. And you know, maybe it'll it'll come back. There'll be something else. One of these days it'll be a different cancer as some other thing, but I'm going to, I'm not going to go down on the first, the first time I'm going to take it out. I have fight it. So setting that aside, you're not really too old for anything. Are you? I mean, say you're 50, you got another 50 years. Maybe what if it's only 35? How long did it take Eddie van Halen learn to play guitar? What 12, 13 years before he was up on the stage, became the Eddie that we knew from the time somebody handed him his first year rig.

And so man, if I want to learn to drive boats, if I wanna study karate boxing, ballroom, dancing, golf, I don't know why anybody would no offense to you golfers, but you know, whatever, whatever blows your hair back. If I want to learn to race cars like Steve McQueen, you know, I can pick it up now and do it. And so what I wanted to do a number of other things, I'm doing all kinds of things. You wouldn't believe my list and it's good. It's not some bucket list up. Here's a bunch of stuff I want to do once before I die, screw that. I want to be the person I am while I'm alive, not do before I die. That sounds like a bunch of people that have given up. So the stuff I'm doing is great. I'm doing all kinds of things.

But one of the things I'm doing is I bought a electric guitar. I remember my dad telling me he didn't say it quite this way. You know, but basically real men don't play guitars. They get jobs. They give up their dreams. You never know. And being a rock star, you know, don't, don't think that way just focus. And I know what he meant. There's no doubt because he said that same and about, just about everything else. I did books. I read college courses. I took you name it. If it didn't come out on a pay stub, it wasn't valid. And so I look at all that and I think, yeah, you. I'm going to do it now. And it's amazing how many men I've talked to they're in the same boat. I thought I was alone for years. I I'm telling this very story to another guy.

Who's a musician. He was in a hair band in the eighties and nineties. We're talking the whole long blonde Motley crew, you know, Robert plant, you know, look in everything, plan, the heavy stuff. You know, I tell him this story. And he says, yeah, he says, I wasn't, weren't allowed to touch the guitar or do anything like that or anything. Cool. I used to have short hair, like a crew cut. Like my father had a crew cut until I was about 13. And then my father died. And my mother said, look, he's grieving. Let him do what he's going to do. This is how he expressed himself. When I grew my

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That Thing You Always Meant To Do But Never Did—Manning Up to Boyish Dreams

That Thing You Always Meant To Do But Never Did—Manning Up to Boyish Dreams

asher@asherblack.com (Asher Black)