Digest

This episode of "This is Actually Happening" delves into the changing landscape of family structures, challenging the traditional nuclear family model and highlighting the rise of diverse family forms. The episode features an in-depth interview with Heath Shesinger and Lily Lamboy, co-founders of the Modern Family Institute, who discuss the historical roots of the nuclear family and monogamy, how family and relationship structures have changed over the last century, and the contemporary landscape of diverse families and consensual non-monogamy. They also explore the work of the Modern Family Institute, their vision and mission, and current legal and policy advances. The episode highlights the statistic that only 18% of U.S. households are configured as the traditional nuclear family, with 82% of households falling outside this norm. The episode also delves into the history of monogamy, tracing its roots to agrarian society and its connection to property ownership and patriarchal conceptions of ownership. The episode concludes with a discussion of the challenges and wins in realizing a future where family is defined by its function, not its form, and where care is centered, valued, and equitably distributed.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction

This Chapter introduces the podcast "This is Actually Happening" and its focus on real experiences, often including traumatic events. It also provides a content warning and information about support services.

00:01:57

The 82% Modern Stories of Love and Family

This Chapter introduces the mini-series "The 82%" and its focus on modern stories of love and family. It features an interview with Heath Shesinger and Lily Lamboy, co-founders of the Modern Family Institute, who discuss the historical roots of the nuclear family and monogamy, how family and relationship structures have changed over the last century, and the contemporary landscape of diverse families and consensual non-monogamy. They also explore the work of the Modern Family Institute, their vision and mission, and current legal and policy advances.

00:39:51

Vision for the Future

This Chapter explores the vision for the future of family structures, emphasizing the importance of valuing the function of families over the form and ensuring that laws and cultural norms reflect and support the varied ways that people live and form connections today. The chapter also discusses the shifting cultural perspectives about what marriage or partnership is in our life more broadly, and the need for a community of care that makes sense for each individual's unique circumstances.

00:45:46

Challenges and Wins

This Chapter discusses the challenges and wins in realizing a future where family is defined by its function, not its form, and where care is centered, valued, and equitably distributed. The chapter highlights the need for a collaborative effort that transcends political divides by focusing on shared values such as stability, love, community, and care. The chapter also discusses the importance of storytelling and social narratives in promoting a more inclusive understanding of family structures.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is the Modern Family Institute, and why is it needed now?

  The Modern Family Institute is a research institute that aims to create a future where family is defined by its function, not its form, and where everyone deserves a healthy family. It is needed now because the traditional nuclear family model no longer reflects the reality of how most people are structuring their families and relationships.

• What are some of the historical roots of the nuclear family and monogamy?

  The nuclear family emerged in the 20th century as a result of economic opportunities and a shift away from extended family networks. Monogamy, on the other hand, has its roots in agrarian society, where property ownership and patriarchal conceptions of ownership made it important to ensure the legitimacy of offspring.

• What are some of the contemporary trends in family and relationship structures?

  Contemporary trends include an increase in single-parent households, chosen families, LGBTQ+ families, blended families, and polyamorous families. There is also a growing acceptance of diversity and a greater emphasis on individual happiness.

• What are some of the challenges in realizing a future where family is defined by its function, not its form?

  Challenges include the deeply ingrained social norm of mono normativity, which promotes monogamy as the preferred relationship structure, and the lack of legal and social protections for diverse family structures. There is also a need to address the cultural forces that promote individualism and isolation.

• What are some of the wins we are currently seeing in combating these challenges?

  Wins include the passage of ordinances in several cities offering protections on the basis of family and relationship structure, as well as a growing dialogue in media and across the country on the issue of diverse family structures. There is also a growing trend of storytelling and social narratives that are challenging traditional notions of family.

Show Notes