Digest

This podcast episode features a deep dive into the 1996 film "The Adventures of Pinocchio," with hosts expressing strong negative reactions to its unsettling CGI, overtly sexual undertones, and significant departures from the beloved classic. They debate the merits of performances by Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Martin Landau, question the film's bizarre logic regarding character transformations and motivations, and highlight disturbing elements like the donkey skin trade and problematic romantic dynamics. Despite acknowledging the effort in puppet creation, the hosts unanimously agree the film is not recommendable, finding it a scarring and nonsensical experience, while also touching upon other media like "The Good Place" and "Black Monday."

Outlines

00:00:00

Live from Chicago and Initial Reactions to Pinocchio

The podcast kicks off live from Chicago with hosts sharing immediate, overwhelmingly negative reactions to "The Adventures of Pinocchio," describing it as "fucked up and weird" with unsettling CGI and a disturbing departure from the classic story.

00:02:36

JTT vs. Martin Landau and Disturbing Undertones

A debate arises about whether Jonathan Taylor Thomas or Martin Landau carries the film, with discussion shifting to the movie's unsettling and overtly sexual undertones, particularly Pinocchio's nose growth and other suggestive scenes, raising concerns about its appropriateness for children.

00:05:04

Hotel Dislikes and Story Deviations

The hosts contrast their positive hotel experiences with their profound dislike for the movie, noting its perceived excessive length and significant deviations from the original Pinocchio story, including questionable character names and plot points.

00:07:44

Pinocchio Lore, Sequels, and Puppet Likeness

The conversation explores the origins of the Pinocchio tale, Disney's influence, and the sequel's casting. Hosts also reflect on their past JTT fandom and critique the puppet's likeness to the actor.

00:11:18

Bizarre Logic: Wooden Girlfriends and Moral Compass

Hosts question the film's illogical premise of Pinocchio wanting a wooden girlfriend and the late introduction of a moral compass character. They also discuss the magic behind Pinocchio's creation and problematic romantic relationships.

00:15:15

Alternative Interpretations and Geppetto's Motivation

Hosts explore alternative theories about the narrative, including delusions and the spirit of Gepetto's brother. They question Geppetto's motivations and the concept of enchanted logs.

00:17:45

Avoiding Creepiness and Human Trafficking Allegations

The hosts discuss the film's failure to avoid creepiness and its overtly erotic nature. They interpret the courtroom scene as a form of human trafficking and analyze Pinocchio's rise to stardom.

00:20:21

Donkey Transformations and the Magic Fountain

The bizarre concept of boys being turned into donkeys for their skin is explored, along with the mystery of a magic fountain. A librarian clarifies the disturbing origin of the donkey transformation in the original book.

00:23:20

Subplots, Market Value, and Librarian Heroes

The cat and fox subplot, financial deception, and the market for donkey skins are discussed. Hosts humorously praise librarians and propose a theory about the tour's purpose.

00:25:15

Accent Inconsistencies and Bizarre Scenes

Hosts critique the inconsistent Italian accents, JTT's American accent, and the street urchins' dialogue. They express shock over Pinocchio being shot and question the logic of his physical construction.

00:28:23

Lack of Reaction and School Enrollment Logic

The hosts find it unbelievable that townspeople don't react to a living puppet and question how Pinocchio enrolls in school and gains knowledge without explanation.

00:31:49

Soundtrack Contributions and Missed Comedic Opportunities

The episode highlights Brian May and Stevie Wonder's contributions to the soundtrack. Hosts lament missed opportunities for comedy and the lack of traditional Pinocchio elements like nose-growing.

00:33:11

Nose Growth, Whale Scene, and Sexual Undertones

The phallic nature of Pinocchio's nose growth and the "reverse bulimia" whale scene are discussed. Hosts find the monster's belly scene overtly sexual and question the consistency of lies and nose growth.

00:36:02

Morality Tales, Crickets, and Inaudible Dialogue

The effectiveness of morality tales and the late introduction of a moral compass are debated. Hosts analyze Jiminy Cricket's role, questioning his origins and finding his dialogue inaudible.

00:38:55

Unanswered Questions and Puppet Commerce

Hosts acknowledge numerous unanswered questions and bizarre elements, including Landau bathing with clothes on and Pinocchio's physical abilities. They discuss Leona's reactions and the prevalence of puppet commerce.

00:41:42

Union Threats and Desire for Wooden Pinocchio

The hosts consider the threat Pinocchio poses to puppeteers' livelihoods and humorously propose a union alliance against him. They express a desire for Pinocchio to turn back into a wooden puppet.

00:42:43

Cauliflower Ears and Scary Childhood Stories

Hosts question the lack of ear deformation and the film's glossing over consequences for donkey-transformed boys. A disturbing childhood story about a boy turned into hamburger meat is shared.

00:47:43

Second Scary Story and Impact on Children

A second scary story involving a stepfather's prank is recounted. The hosts discuss the irresponsibility and psychological impact of telling young children about serial killers and murder.

00:50:41

Audience Questions: Fish Parts, Woke Characters, and Hiring Boys

Audience members ask about puppet materials, the fish boy's lack of life, Dawn French's realistic portrayal, and the logic of hiring boys instead of puppets.

00:55:13

Donkeys Doing Good Deeds and POV Shots

Audience questions explore how donkeys can perform good deeds to become human and the unsettling nature of Pinocchio's point-of-view shots, which are explained as a cost-saving measure.

00:56:54

Second Opinions and Nightmarish Reviews

The "Second Opinions" segment features overwhelmingly positive Amazon reviews, despite the hosts' negative experience. A review detailing nightmares after watching the film, yet still giving it five stars, is highlighted.

00:59:03

Daycare Recommendations and Dark Fairy Tales

A review recommending the movie for daycare centers is met with disbelief. Another review describes the film as a dark fairy tale that terrified 90s kids.

01:00:34

Trivia, Release Details, and Box Office Performance

Trivia about a CD-ROM game and the film's release details, including its budget and box office performance, are shared.

01:03:30

Recommendation Verdict and Infamous Still Frame

The hosts unanimously state they would not recommend the movie, preferring "Drop Dead Fred." They discuss the bizarre promotional still frame of Pinocchio with cream on his mouth.

01:04:45

Puppet Creation, Wood to Flesh, and Final Likeness

Details about the extensive creation process of the Pinocchio puppet are revealed. Hosts find the wood-to-flesh transformation creepy but a sign of the movie ending, noting the final puppet's resemblance to JTT.

01:05:44

Bizarre Nuggets and Final Verdict

Hosts admit the movie's continuous strangeness offers "choice nuggets" but is easily lost. They reiterate their preference for watching "Drop Dead Fred" over "The Adventures of Pinocchio" due to the latter's painful impact.

01:07:19

Conclusion, Mini-Episode Tease, and Show Updates

The hosts conclude the episode, thanking Chicago and teasing a continuation of the Pinocchio discussion on a mini-episode. They promote other shows like "Grayson Frankie" and "The Good Place."

01:08:59

Production Team Acknowledgment and Merchandise

The speaker thanks the production team and announces a mini-episode for the following week, encouraging listeners to check out official merchandise.

Keywords

Q&A

• What are the main criticisms of "The Adventures of Pinocchio" (1996)?

  Critics found the film "fucked up and weird," with unsettling CGI, overtly sexual undertones, and significant deviations from the classic story. The inconsistent accents and questionable logic also drew criticism.

• Who is considered the main star of "The Adventures of Pinocchio"?

  While Jonathan Taylor Thomas (JTT) has top billing, Martin Landau's performance as Geppetto is more prominent. The hosts debated whether JTT's voice performance or Landau's screen presence was more impactful.

• How does "The Adventures of Pinocchio" differ from the traditional story?

  Key differences include altered character names, unsettling CGI, a darker and more sexual tone, and plot points like boys being turned into donkeys for their skin, deviating significantly from the classic morality tale.

• Why did the hosts find the film's depiction of Pinocchio's transformation and interactions disturbing?

  The film's overtly sexual undertones, particularly in scenes like the bathtub and the nose growth, were considered disturbing. The lack of realistic reactions from townspeople to a living puppet also added to the unsettling nature.

• What was the significance of the donkey transformation in the film?

  Boys were turned into donkeys to be skinned and sold, a plot point derived from the original book. The hosts questioned the logic and morality of this transformation and whether the boys ever returned to human form.

• What are the hosts' final recommendations regarding "The Adventures of Pinocchio"?

  The hosts unanimously do not recommend the movie, finding it a deeply scarring experience. One host even stated they would prefer watching "Drop Dead Fred" over this adaptation.

• What was the most bizarre element discussed regarding the film's production or reception?

  The hosts were particularly struck by the overwhelmingly positive five-star Amazon reviews, despite their own negative experience. They also found the promotional image of Pinocchio with cream on his mouth highly questionable.

• What are some of the TV shows recommended in this segment?

  The segment recommends "Grayson Frankie" season six, the final season of "The Good Place," and the upcoming season two of "Black Monday."

• How can listeners engage with the show or its hosts?

  Listeners can purchase official merchandise and contact the hosts via text for advice and discussions.

Show Notes