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The Link Between Perfectionism and Loneliness with Buck Dodson

The Link Between Perfectionism and Loneliness with Buck Dodson

Update: 2021-03-31
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“When we are substituting accomplishment and getting things done for our deeper needs of connection, for belonging, for love and acceptance, that is always going to be hollow. It’s like fast food; it’s empty calories.” - Buck Dodson

Perfectionism is something that everyone suffers from in one form or another, and today’s Brave By Design guest has insights to share that can help it from stopping you thrive in your daily life. 

Buck Dodson is a life coach and licensed therapist igniting gay men’s curiosity about their deepest wants and supporting them to embrace, express and live out their most compelling life visions. Buck also hosts his own podcast, Gay Man’s Life Lab.

You don’t need to be a gay man to benefit from what Buck has to share today. What he reveals is a reminder that life really is about the messy parts, and overcoming perfectionism isn’t something that can be achieved quickly. Be gentle with yourself, and most importantly, give yourself the grace and patience needed in this process.

Connect with Buck: https://www.buckdodson.com/

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What You’ll Hear In This Episode: 

  • Buck’s experiences coming out as a young man and the struggles he faced early on feeling the need to be perfect [8:29 ]

  • His thoughts on how we use perfectionism as a mask, and what’s really going on underneath the surface of it [15:16 ]

  • What he says is the payoff with perfectionism, and why people ultimately do it [19:46 ]

  • How Buck knows when he is starting to slip back into what he calls “perfectionistic thinking” [20:52 ]

  • Why perfectionism is not only hollow, but also a substitute for what we’re really looking for [21:29 ]

  • The ways that perfectionism and codependency are linked, and how boundaries can be implemented to help offset the damaging effects of this relationship [25:21 ]

  • A powerful first step to take to start breaking the grip of perfectionism [36:03 ]

  • Connecting with your body as an antidote to perfectionism [42:04


Additional Links & Resources:

Buck’s Instagram

His Podcast & Gays and Gals Happy Hour Episode 

Brave By Design Episode 42: Boundaries as a Bridge to Connection with Lisa Dempsey

The Spirituality of Imperfection by Ernest Kurtz

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The Link Between Perfectionism and Loneliness with Buck Dodson

The Link Between Perfectionism and Loneliness with Buck Dodson

Laura Khalil