66. There's No One Way To Suck Glass
- Kev Zettler
- Xalavier Nelson, Jr.
- The fine art of professional wrestling
- Stealing the declaration of independence to save Nicolas Cage's life
- Atari 2600 Adventure's effectiveness as a port of Crowther and Woods Adventure
- Larry asks "That one time Taco Bell promised every American a free taco if the Mir space station hit a taco target in the indian Ocean but it missed by an entire hemisphere."
- Non-violent communication
- The threshold between an object/entity being large, and SO large that your brain can no longer process it effectively and you're no longer impressed
- Sucking a glass onto your face
- Still the raddest place to play web games.
- An Airport For Aliens Currently Run By Dogs.
- Interacting with dogs in a whole new way.
- Being clean and dirty at the same time.
- Dog synergies.
- The legal standing of a game downloading a random guitar tab from the internet to make a dog play guitar.
- A scope creep game that ships.
- Whether professional wrestling is trashy.
- Audience-reactive improv theater performed by professional stunt men.
- Pro wrestling jargon creeping into your
- A work for marks who are smart marks and don't know when they're being worked or if they're not.
- Stealing vocabulary from Victorian urchins.
- Whether women's wrestling is still about macho posturing.
- Meme warfare thought devices.
- Muscled theatrical performers doing their dangedest
- Whether GDC is ever going to happen again.
- Whether GDC will be the same without Simon Carless.
- Whether Lost Levels can exist without GDC bringing everyone physically together and secretly reserving the physical venue.
- Every D-level game dev celebrity entering an arena and only one D-level game dev celebrity leaving.
- A contract sealed in blood that is a matter of public record.
- Having an hour and 45 minutes to save Nicholas Cage's life by stealing the Declaration of Independence.
- Finding out that Nicholas Cage was injured in a bear fighting accident and realizing that now's your time to shine.
- Finding out that isnicholascagenexttoabear.com isn't based on geolocation technology, it just scrapes TMZ for headlines that contain both "cage" and "bear."
- Why we still have to steal the Declaration of Independence if everyone is aware of the Nicholas Cage situation.
- Conspicuously walking down the street with the Declaration of Independence rolled up under your arm like a newspaper so that an urchin can snatch it away from you and you can pretend to be incensed.
- Finding out what Habeas Corpus means.
- Atari 2600 Adventure vs. Crowther and Woods Adventure.
- Adapting a text adventure to computer system that can't render text.
- Making a game where you explore until you find an ending in a context where all anyone's ever seen is games where you play for a high score.
- Remakes changing the meaning of the original.
- Inventing a 4D game platform to port Demon's Souls to.
- Hitting a taco target in the Indian ocean.
- Whether 40'x40' is a big taco or a small target for a space station.
- All of America having a taco-in-the-streets party.
- Dipping your girlfriend and smooching her as taco cheese falls from the sky.
- Mir falling from the sky every day being a small price to pay to solve world hunger.
- Taco Bell beginning to sweat as they realize the revolution is about to start.
- Alternate history fiction where the branch point is that Taco Bell gave every American a free taco after Mir hit their taco target.
- Non-Violent Communication.
- Communicating your lived experience backed with justification and couched in empathy.
- Instead of saying "you're annoying me," saying "I am annoyed because of you."
- The HALT principle.
- Big things making your brain go "ooh!"
- Being terrified of the scale of Jupiter but the sun being like "meh"
- Being terrified by an enormous mammoth but less terrified of the Earth when the Earth is bigger and closer than the mammoth.
- Being unable to process the scale of a large city but eventually becoming desensitized to it.
- Deciding whether to be impressed by something's size based on whether it's horizontal or vertical.
- The relief and comfort of realizing that humans don't make any fricking sense.
- Making New Year's Resolution of finally making sense of yourself and of the world.
- Different goals emerging from the same root: hubris.
- Not being able to form a seal on your face because you have a beard.
- Normalizing shaving a hole in your beard sized and situated to suck a drinking glass onto your face.
- Putting a drinking glass on your face in various configurations until one feels right.
- A drinking glass size rooted in a human arrogance that you can appreciate but that you can't encourage.
- Learning to suck a glass onto your face from the kid next to you at Applebee's.
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