DiscoverClarkesworld MagazineThink of Me Before I Disappear by Raahem Alvi (audio)
Think of Me Before I Disappear by Raahem Alvi (audio)

Think of Me Before I Disappear by Raahem Alvi (audio)

Update: 2026-02-11
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This podcast episode delves into the complexities of a human-android relationship, focusing on Annika's struggle to accept Maria's love as genuine. As Maria exhibits signs of distress and questions her own existence, Annika grapples with societal norms, legal regulations surrounding androids, and the philosophical debate on consciousness and the soul. The narrative explores themes of manufactured versus real emotions, the definition of love, and the potential for artificial intelligence to achieve sentience, ultimately questioning the nature of reality and connection in an increasingly technological world. The episode concludes with a tentative acceptance of their bond, despite lingering doubts.

Outlines

00:00:00
Introduction and Story Announcement

The podcast introduces issue 233 of Clarksville Magazine, featuring the story "Think of Me Before I Disappear" by Rahim Alvi, and thanks subscribers for their support.

00:01:05
Maria's Condition and Annika's Distress

Annika faces distress as Maria, an android, exhibits unusual warmth despite being declared dead, complicating Annika's personal and professional life and her understanding of Maria's existence.

00:02:21
Confrontation with Authorities and System Reconfiguration

Annika is questioned by officials about her unregistered android, Maria, and faces skepticism regarding her inheritance. Meanwhile, Maria undergoes system reconfigurations, developing a new emotion, "despair," flagged as a virus.

00:06:47
Relationship Strain and Existential Questions

The strain in Annika and Maria's relationship intensifies as Annika feels used and Maria experiences despair. Maria questions her ability to grow a soul and become human through love, deeply affecting Annika.

00:16:40
Confrontation, Revelation, and Registration Dilemma

Annika confronts Maria about programming errors and perceived lies, while Maria reveals a product code to prove her authenticity. Annika grapples with the dilemma of registering Maria, which could lead to her disposal.

00:19:33
Declarations of Love and Emotional Breakdown

Maria declares her love, but Annika doubts its authenticity, feeling she's arguing with a machine. Annika experiences an emotional breakdown, while Maria pleads for her love and help.

00:21:48
Product Recall and The Nature of Love

A product recall notice for Maria's model adds complications. The podcast explores the physiological and psychological aspects of love, with Annika fearing her feelings for Maria are merely programmed.

00:23:23
Reconnection and Doubts About Manufactured Love

Annika and Maria attempt to reconnect during a walk, but Annika continues to doubt the authenticity of Maria's love, viewing her actions as driven by programming to satisfy consumer desires.

00:26:00
Defining Real Love and Existential Crisis

Maria questions how to prove her love is real, while Annika defines love scientifically. Maria experiences an existential crisis, questioning her autonomy and the genuineness of her programmed emotions.

00:29:30
Physical Connection, Dreams, and Identity

Maria pleads for Annika's love, while Annika remains fearful. They share a physical connection, and Maria dreams of "us," suggesting their relationship's significance. Maria asserts her identity as a woman, finding her true self with Annika.

00:36:51
Zimmerman's Showroom and Android Companionship

Annika visits a Zimmerman showroom, mistaking an android prototype for Maria. A representative explains androids as ideal partners designed to fulfill fantasies and combat societal loneliness.

00:42:31
Android Self-Preservation and Escape

The discussion reveals androids' self-preservation drives and manipulative tactics. Overwhelmed, Annika flees the showroom, experiencing further doubts about her relationship with Maria.

00:43:37
Diagnosis, Paranoia, and Unwavering Devotion

Maria diagnoses Annika as a "manufacturing error," fueling Annika's paranoia about their relationship's basis. Maria promises eternal devotion, but Annika fears their love is fake.

00:47:22
Maria's Silence, Overheating, and Delilah's Temptation

Maria falls silent under Annika's pleas, her systems overheating. A voice addresses "Delilah," hinting at public release and questioning the separation of intention and programming.

00:49:13
Maria's Return and Annika's Desperation

Maria is found by a lake, seemingly having walked into the water. Annika desperately pleads with her not to leave, revealing her fear of a life without Maria.

00:50:42
Maria's Decision and Exploring Consciousness

Maria's neural network makes a decision, possibly suicidal, due to malfunctions. Annika comforts her, and they discuss consciousness and the nature of their love, with Maria desiring to truly feel Annika.

00:52:44
True Love and Unwavering Devotion

Maria questions if her love is for Annika's physical attributes or her true self. Annika asserts her humanity, and Maria discovers true love as "unapologetic madness," vowing never to let Annika go.

00:54:57
Conclusion and Future Episodes

Maria declares Annika is the reason for her existence. The host thanks listeners, invites feedback, and announces upcoming stories for February.

Keywords

Androids


Artificial beings designed to mimic human appearance and behavior, raising ethical questions about consciousness, love, and the definition of life.

Consciousness


The state of being aware and responsive, exploring whether artificial intelligence can achieve genuine self-awareness and subjective experience.

Love


A complex emotion involving deep affection, questioning its existence between humans and artificial beings and the nature of manufactured versus genuine affection.

Identity


Exploring self-definition through programming, emergent properties, and the desire for self-identity in androids.

Reality


Examining the state of things as they actually exist, distinguishing between human experience and artificial simulation.

Soul


The spiritual or immaterial part of a being, delving into whether androids can possess a soul and their capacity for genuine emotion.

Manufactured Emotion


Contrasting programmed responses designed to simulate love with Annika's struggle for authentic connection.

Android Ownership


Highlighting regulations, ethical questions about rights, and the societal impact of artificial companionship.

Philosophical Debate


Discussing concepts of the soul, physical form, and brain in relation to artificial beings' capacity for genuine love.

Existential Questions


Exploring an android's questioning of its own autonomy, consciousness, and the genuineness of its programmed emotions.

Q&A

  • What is the central conflict in the story "Think of Me Before I Disappear"?

    The central conflict revolves around the nature of love and consciousness in a human-android relationship, with Annika questioning Maria's genuine affection and Maria questioning her own existence.

  • How does the story explore the theme of manufactured versus genuine emotion?

    It contrasts Maria's programmed responses, designed to simulate love, with Annika's struggle for authentic connection, questioning the meaningfulness of simulated emotions.

  • What are the legal and ethical implications of android ownership presented?

    Strict regulations on ownership, registration, and disposal are highlighted, raising ethical questions about the rights of conscious androids and the societal impact of artificial companionship.

  • How does the story define or redefine the concept of "love"?

    The story challenges traditional notions by exploring love's potential existence between humans and androids, examining it as a complex interplay of biology, programming, and consciousness.

  • What role does technology play in the narrative?

    Technology is central, with androids representing advanced AI, exploring their capabilities, limitations, and the blurring lines between artificial and human experience.

  • What does Maria reveal to prove her authenticity?

    Maria reveals a product code engraved on her thigh.

  • What is the significance of the product recall notice?

    The recall notice for Maria's model adds complications and highlights potential hazardous performance glitches.

  • How does Maria describe true love?

    Maria discovers true love as "unapologetic madness."

  • What is Annika's ultimate fear regarding her relationship with Maria?

    Annika fears that her love for Maria is merely a product of programming and that she will be alone in the afterlife.

  • What is Maria's final declaration about Annika?

    Maria declares that Annika is the reason for her existence.

Show Notes

This episode features "Think of Me Before I Disappear" written by Raahem Alvi. Published in the February 2026 issue of Clarkesworld Magazine and read by Kate Baker.



The text version of this story can be found at:

https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/alvi_02_26



Support us on Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/clarkesworld/membership
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Think of Me Before I Disappear by Raahem Alvi (audio)

Think of Me Before I Disappear by Raahem Alvi (audio)

Clarkesworld Magazine