Parents who were emotionally available, perceptive, and responsive to you, to your needs and mental states, are a great gift! They tend to provide you with attachment that is secure. This is an excellent foundation for a healthy emotional life.

Parents who were emotionally unavailable, or inconsistently available, perceptive or response to your needs, and tended to intrude their own states of mind onto you as a tiny child, could create what is called a "resistant, ambivalent, or anxious attachment" to others. This is an excellent breeding ground for an unhealthy emotional life. And, in particular, sets the stage for personality distortions in later life.

So, that person whom you met when they were an adult--a partner, ex, parent, co-worker--was already pre-disposed to their outwardly self-important, prone to pomposity, self-adoration, and annoyingly entitled behaviors long before you can along.

You can't change them.

They don't want to change. T

hey see no need to change.

Got it?

Good!

Let yourself off the hook.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com  Only $5 for the first month at any level.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What attachment theory is
• How attachment theory helps explain the basic nature of people in relationships
• Secure attachment is healthy
• Avoidant attachment is dismissive
• Anxious,attachment, ambivalent attachment is preoccupied
• Disorganized attachment is unresolved
• Why a Hijackal's behavior is not your fault
• Why you cannot change a #Hijackal

You'll find that in many other episodes of this podcast, and on my YouTube channel, too.

Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.

Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my

FREE EBOOK, How to Spot a Hijackal® at Hijackals.com . You need to know what's up now, so you don't make mistakes that will hurt you. Grab it!

If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.

Make positive changes NOW.

Big hugs,

Rhoberta

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,

The Relationship Help Doctor

TransformingRelationship.com or ForRelationshipHelp.com

P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.

WANT THE PRIVACY AND SAFETY OF MY SUPPORT & GROWTH GROUPS AWAY FROM FACEBOOK?

You can have that, and:

• access to my Optimize Circles
• my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program
• monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls, sometimes two
• at least monthly insightful videos and access to the library

You can get most of this right now for the price of one latte a month! This offer is going away soon, and the prices will double. Join now!

OptimizeCircles.com

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:

Website: TransformingRelationship.com

Facebook: RelationshipHelpDoctor

Twitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

Instagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

Weekly live stream show, Help for Toxic Relationships, on Mondays at 6 PM Pacific Time.

Subscribe now on YouTube. Hit the notification bell to get reminders.

Ask your questions in the chat each week!

You can also listen to the last 32 episodes of Save Your Sanity on Mental Health News Radio Network. That's a great place to get in-depth insights for shoring up mental and emotional health of all kinds.

#attachment #attachmenttheory #changeanarcissist #changeasociopath #saveyoursanity #Hijackals #verbalabuse #passive-aggressive #toxicpeople #emotionalabuse #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #toxicrelationships #manipulativepeople #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #toxicpeople