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Very Hype About This Apple

Very Hype About This Apple

Update: 2019-11-25
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Microtopics:




  • Hypothesizing about how much business your internet review gets a small business.

  • A restaurant in San Francisco somehow not going out of business.

  • Reassuring meme carriers that they are still good people.

  • Majestic yet ridiculous muscledudes.

  • Dreaming a GDC talk.

  • Taking the "lord" title seriously because you are probably ruled by literal lords.

  • Our sister podcast across the pond, Topic Senators.

  • Distinguishing lords from non-lords by their shoulder armor.

  • Preppers going from being a joke to an aspiration.

  • Realizing that literally none of your skills would help you in the apocalypse.

  • Drinking pee through a Life Straw and it still tasting like pee.

  • California-branded disasters.

  • Naming your produce via an Internet poll.

  • Produce having a launch date.

  • Lining up at Safeway for produce's midnight launch.

  • Eating berries exclusive to your region.

  • Believing horses still exist because you've seen them once.

  • Being almost sure horses aren't a hoax.

  • Inserting horses into the historical record.

  • Duckbilled platypi being obviously bullshit.

  • Every platypus having been secretly manufactured by the Tyrell Corporation.

  • LA and San Francisco merging because Philip K Dick didn't predict rising construction costs.

  • Finding out that miniature horses can be service animals.

  • Service ponies in the soup aisle.

  • Someone defacing an explanatory sign to make people believe that horses can be service animals.

  • Miniature ponies being grandfathered in.

  • Everyone choosing the mockingbird as their state bird.

  • Being annoyed that trees are the wrong trees.

  • Being young enough for them to just be trees I guess.

  • The sky being the wrong sky.

  • Seeing freeway exit signs for Jupiter.

  • The Golden Gate Bridge getting wrecked.

  • A story being grounded in geography.

  • Stepping out of the movie theater into the neighborhood the movie you saw was set in and feeling like you're still in the movie.

  • Everyone's effective hometown being San Francisco because that's where every movie is set.

  • Getting experience points for taking selfies.

  • The Coit Tower secretly being a giant hologram full of horses.

  • The arbitrariness of what makes a hotel scary.

  • The horror of a hotel room possibly having bedbugs.

  • Not being scared by a movie because you chose to watch it.

  • The cute robot doing all the murders.

  • The TV edit of Robocop somehow being even more traumatic.

  • Sneaking an art house movie into your horror movie.

  • No longer being affected by supernatural horror but being terrified of movies with car accidents.

  • The implicit social contract that horror movies shouldn't address the horror of real life.

  • The ethics of advertising horror movies.

  • The ad that places a horrible idea in your mind and promises closure/the antidote if you pay for the full movie.

  • Buying a tub of baked beans at the concession stand and feeling good for five minutes.

  • Refilling the essential oil cartridge for gunfire.

  • Not wanting to smell Bioshock, or most video games really.

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Very Hype About This Apple

Very Hype About This Apple

Jim Stormdancer