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Hi everyone. Welcome back to Podcast and Chill. I'm Gwen.

And I'm Leo.

So, how's your day going, Leo?

Honestly, not great.

Oh, no. What happened?

Well, I went to buy ice cream this morning. Strawberry. My favorite.

Good choice.

Yeah. But then some people at the shop started laughing at me.

Wait, seriously? Why?

No idea. But I got so angry that I threw the ice cream away and walked out.

Oh, Leo, that must have hurt.

Yeah, I couldn't stop myself. I just lost it.

You know what? That happens to a lot of people. Getting angry is normal.

Really?

Of course.

What about you, friends? Has anyone ever laughed at your English or said something that made you upset?

If yes, you're not alone. Most people don't even realize why they react that way or how to stop it.

Including me, apparently.

I can tell. But don't worry, that's exactly what we'll talk about today.

Perfect. I'm ready to calm down and learn something new. Let's get started.

� The 90-Second RuleSo, Leo, do you know how anger starts?

No idea.

It starts with our brain.

I don't get it.

When something bad happens, like when someone laughs at us or says something mean, our brain sees it as a sign of danger.

And...?

Your brain thinks you're in danger, so it wants to protect you. It does that by releasing stress hormones.

Stress hormones. What are those and how do they protect me?

Hormones are a special thing in your body that make you ready to react. When they show up, people often react in one of three ways.

Three ways. What are they?

Fight: That means you want to attack or argue.

Oh, I wanted to shout at those people, but I didn't do that.

Because you reacted with 2. Flight: That means you want to run away. You want to leave the situation fast.

I did leave the shop really quickly.

And the third way is 3. Freeze: That means you stop. You don't know what to do. You just stand there and can't move or speak.

I felt that before, too. Like when a teacher asked me a question and I couldn't think of any answer.

Yes, that's freeze. So these three reactions—fight, flight, freeze—your body just does them.

So I can't control them.

Nope. You can't control how your body reacts at first. But the good news is those reactions don't last long. It only lasts about 90 seconds.

Only 90 seconds, but I still feel upset about the ice cream and that was hours ago. If it's not the hormones anymore, then what's keeping me angry?

� Feeding the Fire: The Burnt Toast AnalogyGlad that you mentioned it, Leo. What you're feeling now is not from those stress hormones anymore. It's your thoughts about the situation that keep you angry. What did you think when people laughed at you?

I was thinking, "Why are they so mean?" and "This is so embarrassing."

Those thoughts kept you angry. If you keep thinking the same thoughts over and over, your anger will stay.

How does it even make sense?