• Richard


• Lisa


• Tom


• Serendipidy


• Norval Joe


• Planet Z

The next topic is Poetry

LISA

Christmas

Christmas was always the same at Mums. Everyone stayed over except Auntie Lizzie because she had to get back for her dog. She gave the best gifts but apologised saying she hadn’t got out to buy anything this year so, it was a shock when she handed me a present. It was a pricey looking necklace.

“They’re real. Not paste.”

Excited by this my brother unwrapped his even larger parcel. It was heavy and had a bit of a smell. He said nothing but showed us her dog.

I was dying to say: ‘at least you can stay over now.’

RICHARD

Ho, ho, humbug!

I hate Christmas gift shopping.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy choosing and giving gifts, it’s all the hassle that comes with it, and I’m not the most organised of people.

I have friends who buy presents throughout the year, wrap and label them as they go along, and when December comes around, all the hard work is done.

Not me though.

I used to leave it to the last minute, and it was always a nightmare.

Thankfully, I don’t usually see family and friends until after Christmas, so now I buy most of my gifts in the January sales!

SERENDIPIDY

I grew up in a very annoying family.

All my siblings could have been described as gifted. Between them, they excelled at sports, the arts and academically.

Unlike me.

You’d never describe me as sporty, I can’t paint, write, sing, act or play music and I dropped out of school, failing every exam I took.

I suppose you could say that, for me, it was an unhappy childhood: watching my brothers and sisters succeed and flourish, whilst I floundered.

They’re not succeeding now however.

Not since I poisoned them all.

I guess my cooking skills weren’t up to much either!

TOM

Tis Da Season

I don’t go Christmas gifts. My family and every close friend is a good

1000 miles away. I do have one person who I do un-Christmas gift with.

Each year we head down to the local Walmart. Pick out a functional but

not so fashionable leather wallet. You do this four decades you end up

will a draw filled with wallets. Not bum you all out, but that friend

die a few years back, so now truly I don’t do Christmas gift. I must

admit look in the draw of wallet is a bit of gift when the snow falls

NORVAL JOE

The old man snarled at Billbert. “You’ve gifted the Five Star Sisters a reprieve, but it won’t last very long.”

The door slammed open. Mrs. Weinerheimer charged in, shouting, “Gift is a noun. Not a verb.”

His mother’s superpower of efficiency was more than the Black Knights control over Billbert and Sabrina could handle.

As the tsunami dissipated to nothing, a tornado formed over the dilapidated cabin and ripped the feeble roof away.

Mandy and Mrs. Weinerheimer rushed to Billbert while Bobbi grabbed Patrick’s arm.

The tornado shrank, wrapped its tail around the Black Knight leader and whisked him away.

PLANET Z

Sometimes I like to buy things on Amazon for myself, get them gift wrapped, turn off notifications, and get blackout drunk. I don’t remember that I bought the things, and when they arrive I’m pleasantly surprised. Then I read the notes, and they’re horribly disturbing… downright creepy. How the Hell did they know this about me? Are they spying on me? Are they stalking me? Then I see the credit card statement and wonder if they hacked my account and stole my credit card. I call the card company to cancel my card and I change all of my passwords.