What does internal family systems have to do with conflict and negotiation? Which three, quick, and easy things can you do at any time to regulate yourself during moments of conflict? How can you navigate conflict successfully?

In this podcast episode, Joe Sanok discusses Harvard’s Bob Bordone’s new book Conflict Resilience and Negotiating Disagreement without Giving Up or Giving In. 

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Meet Bob Bordone







Bob Bordone is a Senior Fellow at Harvard Law School, the founder of the Harvard Negotiation & Mediation Clinical Program, and a leading expert in conflict resolution, negotiation, and difficult conversations.

A former Harvard Law professor, Bob works with leaders, organizations, and individuals to build dialogue across deep divides—political, personal, and professional. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and on CNN.

Bob is especially passionate about helping people navigate conflict without losing connection, and he brings a deeply human, emotionally intelligent approach to some of the most divisive issues of our time.

Visit Bob Bordone’s website and find out more about Conflict Resilience.





















In This Podcast



* IFS and conflict resilience 

* What makes successful conflict resilience 

* Robert’s advice to private practitioners



IFS and conflict resilience 

Early in my career, teaching at Harvard Law School, fortuitously, we were, at the negotiation program, a part of a collaboration with some folks at the Cambridge family institute who did IFS work, and … the first third of the book, in many ways, brings in IFS methods and approaches to helping people think about conflict. (Robert Bordone) 

Robert’s book, in one part, specifically focuses on helping you to unravel and understand the different parts of you that each want different things, because often we feel – either consciously or unconsciously – pulled in different directions. 

This lack of internal clarity can make it tough for us to negotiate on what we want and on resolving conflict, because different parts of a person want different things: peace, revenge, payback, empathy, etc. 

We have this three-part exercise in the book … [In one] we are asking you t...