What if you couldn't stop shining? [Rebroadcast #189]
Digest
This podcast episode features a rebroadcast of episode 189, titled "What If You Couldn't Stop Shining?", originally aired on May 4th, 2021. The episode delves into the guest's personal experience with drug-induced psychosis, tracing their journey from childhood trauma to recovery. The guest shares their strained relationship with their mother, the impact of their parents' divorce, and the feeling of being abandoned and displaced. They describe their experience with drug-induced psychosis, including hallucinations, delusions, and a distorted perception of reality. The episode also covers their hospitalization in a youth mental health facility, where they initially resisted treatment, believing they were being abducted for alien testing. However, over time, they began to let go of their distorted narrative and transition back into reality. The guest then shares their journey to sobriety at age 21, highlighting the transformative impact it had on their life. They discuss finding a new family in sobriety, the importance of therapy, and the ongoing process of working through their trauma and finding acceptance. The episode concludes with the guest reflecting on the root of their psychosis, attributing it to a deep-seated need to feel belonging and a fear of abandonment stemming from their childhood experiences. They emphasize the importance of therapy and support systems in their healing journey, acknowledging that their psychosis was a coping mechanism for their pain and fear.
Outlines
Introduction and Content Warning
The podcast introduces itself as a show featuring real experiences, often including traumatic events. It advises listeners to consult the show notes for content warnings and support services.
Summer Rebroadcast Series
The podcast announces the continuation of its annual summer rebroadcast series, featuring six weeks of previously aired episodes.
Episode 189: What If You Couldn't Stop Shining?
The episode rebroadcasts episode 189, titled "What If You Couldn't Stop Shining?", originally aired on May 4th, 2021. The episode explores the guest's experiences with drug-induced psychosis and their journey to recovery.
A New Podcast: Hysterical
The podcast introduces a new podcast from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios called "Hysterical," which investigates a mysterious illness that spread through a high school in upstate New York.
The Guest's Early Life and Family Dynamics
The guest shares their childhood experiences, including a strained relationship with their mother, a favored brother, and the impact of their parents' divorce.
Hospitalization and Drug-Induced Psychosis
The guest describes their experience being hospitalized in a youth mental health facility after experiencing drug-induced psychosis. They discuss the challenges of transitioning back into reality and the impact on their relationships.
Sobriety and Finding a New Family
The guest shares their journey to sobriety at age 21 and the transformative impact it had on their life. They discuss finding a new family in sobriety and the importance of therapy.
Keywords
Drug-Induced Psychosis
A mental state characterized by hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thinking, caused by the use of psychoactive substances.
Trauma
A deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have a lasting impact on a person's mental and emotional well-being.
Sobriety
The state of abstaining from alcohol and/or drugs, often achieved through support groups, therapy, and lifestyle changes.
Therapy
A process of working with a therapist to address mental, emotional, or behavioral issues.
Support Systems
A network of individuals, groups, or organizations that provide emotional, practical, or financial assistance.
Hallucinations
Sensory experiences that occur in the absence of an external stimulus, such as seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not real.
Delusions
False beliefs that are firmly held despite evidence to the contrary.
Alien Testing Facility
A fictional concept often used in science fiction to describe a place where extraterrestrial beings conduct experiments on humans or other species.
Q&A
What were some of the key events in the guest's childhood that contributed to their later struggles with mental health?
The guest experienced a strained relationship with their mother, a favored brother, and the impact of their parents' divorce, which left them feeling abandoned and displaced.
How did the guest's drug use contribute to their experience with drug-induced psychosis?
The guest's heavy drug use, particularly their experimentation with psychedelic drugs and 2-5-I, led to a period of intense hallucinations, delusions, and a distorted perception of reality.
What was the guest's experience like in the youth mental health facility?
The guest initially resisted treatment, believing they were being abducted for alien testing. However, over time, they began to let go of their distorted narrative and transition back into reality.
How did the guest's journey to sobriety change their life?
Sobriety allowed the guest to find a new family in recovery, receive support and therapy, and begin to heal from their trauma. It also helped them to recognize and address the underlying causes of their psychosis.
What is the guest's perspective on their experience with drug-induced psychosis?
The guest acknowledges that their psychosis was a coping mechanism for their deep-seated pain and fear of abandonment. They recognize that their brain was trying to protect them, but they are no longer a prisoner to their past experiences.
Show Notes
Growing up in a home of abandonment and neglect, a teenager finds a grand, new reality in the rabbit hole of addiction until they can no longer find their way back.
Today’s guest prefers to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to reach out to them, you can email at artichoke.heart456@gmail.com
Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits
Social Media:
Instagram: @actuallyhappening
Twitter: @TIAHPodcast
Content/Trigger Warnings: psychosis, drug use, child neglect, childhood trauma, explicit language
Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com
Website for Andrew Waits: www.andrdewwaits.com
Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus
Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening
Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.
Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com
Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper
Music Bed: “Enter the Lair/Drone” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager
Services
If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264
National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.