What to Do When Your Partner Won't Do The Work

What to Do When Your Partner Won't Do The Work

Update: 2025-06-17
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I tackle the challenging reality of what to do when one partner wants to work on the relationship while the other resists, providing a clear three-step approach based on my experience with couples in this situation.

• Despite what some experts claim, you cannot completely transform your marriage alone—both partners must participate
• The first step is to directly invite your partner to therapy or coaching, being persistent but understanding about their concerns
• Step two involves creating "productive discomfort" by withdrawing comforts you typically provide
• The final step may require temporary separation to demonstrate how serious you are about improving the relationship
• When both partners engage in the work, transformative results are possible that benefit not just the couple but future generations
• Breaking generational patterns requires courage to stand up with loving power rather than settling for mediocrity

If you need help with this process, please reach out for a complimentary call at monicatanner.com/call. And for engaged or newlywed couples, I'm offering a special summer promotion—three RLT sessions for the price of one to help establish a strong foundation for your marriage.


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What to Do When Your Partner Won't Do The Work

What to Do When Your Partner Won't Do The Work

Monica Tanner - Marriage and Intimacy Coach for Christian Couples