What to Do if You Fall Out of Love With Your Job
Digest
The podcast begins by comparing life to a remote control, highlighting the inability to pause or rewind real-life events. It then delves into the complexities of career relationships, drawing parallels between romantic relationships and professional journeys. The episode explores the signs of a strained career relationship, such as sensitivity to intermittent reinforcement, feeling easily pulled back in by superficial benefits, and a lack of reciprocation in efforts to reinvigorate the relationship. The podcast also discusses strategies for navigating a career breakup, including "grave dressing," which involves crafting a narrative to explain the decision to others and manage feelings of shame or embarrassment. The episode emphasizes the importance of finding joy in daily activities, connecting high-level goals with low-level tasks, and identifying and managing daily stress triggers to maintain a fulfilling and sustainable career relationship.
Outlines
Career Relationships: A Love Story?
This episode explores the parallels between romantic and career relationships, highlighting the similarities in their dynamics and the challenges they present.
Breaking Up with Your Career: Signs and Strategies
This segment delves into the signs of a strained career relationship, including sensitivity to intermittent reinforcement, feeling easily pulled back in by superficial benefits, and a lack of reciprocation in efforts to reinvigorate the relationship. It also discusses strategies for navigating a career breakup, such as "grave dressing" and finding joy in daily activities.
Keywords
Intermittent Reinforcement
A pattern of behavior where rewards or positive outcomes are delivered inconsistently, leading to a strong desire for the reward and a tendency to repeat behaviors that have been previously rewarded.
Grave Dressing
The process of creating a narrative or explanation for ending a relationship, whether romantic or professional, to manage feelings of shame or embarrassment and present a coherent story to others.
Sliding vs. Deciding
The difference between passively drifting into a situation, such as cohabitation or a new job, without conscious deliberation, versus making a deliberate and informed decision.
Purpose-Driven Work
Work that is aligned with an individual's values, passions, and sense of purpose, providing a sense of meaning and fulfillment.
Meaning-Making Work
Work that allows individuals to create meaning and significance in their lives, often through contributing to something larger than themselves or making a positive impact on the world.
Q&A
How are career relationships similar to romantic relationships?
Both career and romantic relationships experience ups and downs, ambivalence, and a life trajectory with distinct stages. They require constant monitoring and attention to ensure a healthy dynamic.
What are some signs that a career relationship might be strained?
Sensitivity to patterns of intermittent reinforcement, feeling easily pulled back in by superficial benefits, and a lack of reciprocation in efforts to reinvigorate the relationship are indicators of a potentially unhealthy career dynamic.
How can someone avoid feeling embarrassed when breaking up with their job?
Engaging in "grave dressing" by crafting a narrative for explaining the decision to others can help manage feelings of shame and embarrassment. It involves reflecting on the reasons for the breakup and preparing a clear explanation for those who might inquire.
What are some strategies for keeping work fresh and avoiding a rocky career relationship?
Finding joy in daily activities, connecting high-level goals with low-level tasks, and identifying and managing daily stress triggers can contribute to a more fulfilling and sustainable career relationship.
Show Notes
Leaving a job can be just as messy as leaving a romantic partner. New York University professor of psychology Tessa West joins host J.R. Whalen to discuss how relationship science can help you avoid common mistakes and guide you through the stages of falling out of love with your career.
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