Why Forgiveness is Worth it & my Story of Adversity #100
"Forgiving the person that almost killed me, was the greatest thing in my life" by Aren Deu #100
This is my story, a story I promised you all I would deliver for the 100th show. It is about forgiveness and it will connect many dots when go back and listen to my episodes about why I started this podcast, what made me who I am today and why the worst day of my life was actually in hindsight the best. I dont preach about adversity being a gift, for no reason, I truly 100% believe it is or at least can be your biggest gift.
I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode, and if you have the ability to forgive, please do.
Also do not forget to check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.uk
[Notes - My Speech at Toastmasters, the only time I ever shared this story]
Toast master, fellow toast masters most welcome guests.
Today I’m going to share something I have never shared with anyone before.
I am going to tell you Why getting assaulted & left for dead was the greatest thing that ever happened to me…
But first let me take you back to a simpler time.
You see growing up I would never have imagined myself doing the things I now do.
Growing up life was easy, simple and carefree. I didn’t have to overthink things and I could just dream.
And dreaming I did!
Now I don’t know about any of you but as a child I always loved action films and fighting
From Bruce Lee to Jackie Chan to the
Karate Kid to Van Damme...
I loved it and wanted to be like them.
But my favourite of all action stars was the Italian stallion Rocky Balboa and my first ever real life goal was to become the world heavy weight champion of the world.
But sadly, I was unable to participate in Boxing due to suffering with convulsions as a child so it wasn’t allowed.
Plus I had to get a degree for my parents to make them proud.
However fast forward 25 years, with a degree under my belt It was now my time to go and pursue my dreams.
I spent the next 2 years training 3 x a day 7 days a week.
I lost 42lbs in my first 7 weeks of training
I went from being unable to run 50m, to running 7 miles straight at 6 minutes a mile.
I was ready!
And to confirm this my trainer told me I was too!
He called me in one day and spoke about the novice nationals I could attend. I remember the feeling of finally being able to achieve my dreams even though I was told I was 15 years too late to the scene.
I also remember looking to the left and seeing past champions and imagining my photo on the wall right next to them. Of course id have to move a few of them across but there was room for me, I just knew it!
However, as I departed the gym that night full of happiness, relief, excitement and just an overwhelm of emotion I was oblivious to the fact that it would be the last time I was to ever step foot into the ring again.
You see on the September of that same year 2 months before nationals, I went out for my bday reluctantly. I had a very strict diet but as 60 of my friends graced me with their presence and presents, I found myself getting rather drunk!
Fast forward 3 hours of laughing and catching up with people I had hardly seen due to my boxing commitments I found myself in true Aren style falling asleep.
You see most people when they get tipsy fall over, dance, or do crazy things. Me? Well I just fall asleep.
Only this time I had gone out for air and fallen asleep on the pavement outside.
My sleep was disrupted and short-lived, as I was woken up by my neck and head jolting back violently.
You know how they say alcohol numbs pain?
Well this was the most painful 3.5 minutes of my life, physically and mentally.
I could taste blood in my mouth, see it stream into my eyes but unable to wipe it away due to my hands not moving.
Why wasn’t they moving.
I was paralysed.
I had no idea if it was the alcohol or the concessions from the shot but I was met with fists, elbows, knees, running kicks and continuous laughter from the two guys who assaulted me, one more than the other.
I pleaded and asked why I was being assaulted, I had no real idea as to what was happening and then I remember my last few words as I believed in that time, I am going to die here.
“I cried for my mom, and within seconds I was passed out, only this time from an unprovoked assault”
I was woken up in a pool of blood and doctors told me I had sustained remarkable injuries but somehow nothing life threatening. Despite the 60+ cuts and bruises I was ok!
Or at least they thought.
You see I then struggled for the next 2 years living a life of resentment and fear. I had nightmares daily and went to bed bitter and angry at the world, the police for never really helping me, my friends for being too busy drinking inside and myself for getting into that state.
I spent these years being someone I was ashamed off, a victim, in a victims mentality.
However fast forward 2 years from the incident, I made a life changing decision. You see prior to that I had listened to a podcast that changed my life.
Do you ever get that feeling when you watch or listen to something that they are speaking directly to you?
Well this guy was. In fact his story was so similar it was unreal. The funny thing is I can’t recall the episode now and sometimes question myself as to whether it was real or I simply imagined it.
However it worked. The podcast spoke about forgiveness and how this individual, who I believed was me at the time went on to change his life once he forgave the person who assaulted him.
So with that I did the same. I sent a message to the person forgiving them and explaining everything that was in my thoughts. I forgave them for me, not them.
That was the most liberating thing I have ever truly done you see,
Since then I regained control of my life living a victor mentality!
You see since then I have:
- Trained 1000+ clients from a health and fitness benefit having learnt so much during my boxing years.
- Married my best friend and soul mate, someone who I never had time for during my boxing years. What a mistake that would have been.
- Ive conquered my biggest fears of public speaking as I deliver this to you all today.
- Learned the power of forgiveness and practice this daily.
- Dived into the property world and became financially free to allow me to live a life of passion and purpose and work on my own terms.
- I also have my very own podcast which has been listened to in 20 countries and downloaded over 2000+ times in less than a month.
You see In hindsight I would never go back and erase that night from my life, as it taught me so much about myself and the person I have grown into today.
It has made me stronger, more compassionate, more forgiving and overall a better servant to the world.
Maybe I could have done this through boxing, who knows but for now I am truly fulfilled and in the best place I could possibly be in.
Night crushed my dreams but I created buffers ones
My name is Aren Deu and I thank you all for listening to me today.
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