Why Suffering in Silence Needlessly Ruins Relationships
Don't kid yourself! Your "silences" speak volumes!
I work with people whose relationships are in crisis for so long, and their hope that not speaking up about things that are bothering them mostly does more damage than anything.
Suffering in silence can be the exact opposite of healthy living. It's a poor--and often highly toxic--approach to relationship issues.
It's possible that folks who button up and bottle up recall prior negative experiences associated with speaking out. Things just didn't go well, or the result crushed them. Now, they don't want to risk their self-esteem, or the relationship.
Here's a HUGE, glaring mistake, too: Too many people talk to their kids about their frustrations with their partners. I'll talk about this more in the episode. But, know that here's the rule: DON'T DO THIS...unless your kids are fully functioning adults with enough relationship experience to have a healthy conversation.
Why do quiet, seemingly nice people kill their spouses? One reason is that they "suffered in silence" until they really needed to say something or burst. They burst! Don't let that be you!
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HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
- why it is not wise to bottle things up
- how resentment builds and rationality reduces
- where you may have got the idea that suffering in silence is in any way wise
- why it is imperative not to include your children in conversation about your partner
- why getting help is a sign of strength: getting help does not mean you've failed
Enjoy my other podcast, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, here, or wherever you like to find your podcasts.
Listen to today's episode, and, if by chance, you're still wondering if you have had a #Hijackal in your life, grab my
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If you need help with any part of the journey with--and from--a #Hijackal, I'm here for you. Let's talk soon. I make it easy and accessible for you to have your first one-hour session with me for only $97.
Make positive changes NOW.
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD,
The Relationship Help Doctor
P.S. Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships, HERE.
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