16 April 1972

Sirs,

It has come to my attention that some of the girls in the office have been complaining about unwanted advances from the butchers. While I do sympathise with them somewhat (after all those butchers have awfully big, hairy hands), it’s just a bit of fun on their part and I'd hate to take away what little joy they have in their miserable lives. If I had to strangle 400 cattle a day I know I would find solace in chasing the girl from accounts down a dark hallway with my big, bloodied hands.  To feel them, like two hairy hams, grabbing at my breasts like a hungry bird. I’d say no but really I'd mean YES.

Anway, some chap at the freemasons put me in touch with a firm who specialise in these new ‘training records’. Do me a favour and play it to the lads on the shop floor.

Dictated and signed in absence.

Regards,

Baron Von Beirgmenst III

Chief Executive Officer, Barbarity Meats & Offal Tubes

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Burnt Toast Presents: Workplace Creatures

Featuring, Krage Brown

Jess Lloyd-Jones

Miranda Shrapnell

Ida Berglöw Kenneway

David Gurney

Nathan Peter Grassi

Written & Created by Thom Munden

Edited by: Krage Brown & Thom Munden

Artwork by: deprivedanxiety

Burnt Toast Presents is an everybody panic podcast.

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