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Closeness
Author: Tari Mannello
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© 2017 Closeness
Description
San Diego's number one rated sex, intimacy and love coach takes you on a passionate journey through all the forbidden questions you've always wanted answers to. Get clear, sensual, guidance to help you learn about your body, experience more passion and uncover hotter chemistry. Learn how to do all of it simply by tuning in and applying what you learned. If you're currently experiencing heartbreak, emotional pain or betrayal there are plenty additional episodes to help you get through it all. Tari's unique blend of wisdom, intelligence and humor takes complex and often uncomfortable subjects and breaks them down into something you can do something with, tonight! A must for anyone who wants to elevate themselves or their intimate relationship to the next level. The Closeness podcast is also a supplement to real world in-person and virtual coaching sessions.
To schedule an appointment for you and your partner, fill out an intake form at www.cravecloseness.com/intake
To schedule an appointment for you and your partner, fill out an intake form at www.cravecloseness.com/intake
75 Episodes
Reverse
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this
2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there
3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her
5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend
11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you
15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply
15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive
17:45 What to do if she looks discouraged
21:30 She doesn't know what to do but you DO
25:24 When men get discouraged or don't understand what to do
27:35 Your sexuality matters too - but if you don't desire her you're in trouble
29:35 In search of answers...
30:22 If you don't authentically desire her, you'll probably blow it
35:40 You really can't change someone's desire, libido or sex drive too greatly
37:34 It turns out your sex drive does matter too
41:40 Women actually pressure men to have sex too...
46:02 Final thoughts, summary and wrap up
Image by Racool_studio on Freepik
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
2:25 Disclosures
3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends
5:45 1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention
7:06 A taste of my story
9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist
12:00 The usual disclaimers
14:00 A contribution from a single mother
15:57 3. The length of your commitment matters
17:56 4. Her children must come first
22:15 5. You can’t just come over
23:29 5a. Sometimes you may rank last in terms of priority
24:24 5b. The ex she’s still in touch with
25:30 Giving a balanced perspective
27:04 6. You are stepping into a pre-existing family
30:30 7. If the children don’t like you
32:26 8. Divorce statistics and how they effect children
33:39 9. You’ve got to be creative with discipline
35:50 10. Navigating who should pay… for everyone
41:06 11. The possibility of meeting the ex or proverbial crazy ex
42:35 12. Extended family is often involved
45:14 13. Women are incredible care takers- but often not for you
49:08 14. The biggest risk: Spending time with the kids by yourself
50:50 15. You’re not man enough for not raising her kids?
52:42 16. Women have LOTS of “standards.” You’re allowed to have standards too
55:04 17. Physically speaking…
59:04 18. What about what you need as a man?
1:01:08 19. Women’s needs are often met by having and raising children
1:03:35 20. Kids are truly a sensory experience for women
1:07:20 Warm sentiments on the joys of connecting with children
1:10:55 Outro
Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
7:23 1. When she's deferential towards you
14:26 2. She looks at you directly, frequently
16:47 3. The way that she looks at you
20:55 4. Admiration
24:12 5. Her desire to have sex with you
28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do
35:30 Putting yourself in her position
41:12 7. Little notes and mementos
42:56 8. Gifts
45:57 9. She wants to talk to you and be near you all the time
48:30 10. She gives you her softness
50:47 11. She's more sexual and sensual outside of the bedroom
51:50 12. Exchanging videos, memes and all number of cute things
52:30 13. She shows up for you and is there when you need her
54:44 14. She loves to have fun with you and play with you
56:30 15. Her family and or friends know about you and love you or like you lots
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently
3:41 Puppy dog love
8:34 Men and women initiate differently
12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexually available to you
14:23 Finding the right "time" to initiate
15:58 How to be sexual with your consensual partner
18:37 Why men have a hard time with timing
21:14 Don't ask her to do it, show her
22:16 What it means to bring your masculine energy to the relationship
24:25 Distinguishing consent from asking for sex
28:14 Why can't women initiate?
29:18 Why you must initiate with her
30:14 When women actually do want to initiate
31:44 When is the right time to initiate sex with your partner
35:34 She wants you to take her
39:24 Getting all those bad boy qualities into... you
43:17 How to create a nice sexual buildup
46:20 Be careful of being mechanical and planning it all out
47:38 You must become a sexual being or a sexual person to satisfy her
49:22 All about sexual tension
57:55 Outro
This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deeper issue, others can simply be avoided with a little presence. In this episode we'll teach you how to understand and navigate conflict in a healthy way.
Chapters: 0:00 Introduction
1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action
3:20 Cause and effect
9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you
11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior
24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior
30:30 A logic based universe
32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain
37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today
38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions
40:25 The elusive world of feelings
42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated
48:45 Understanding intuition
50:45 Text fights
53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare
53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking
55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust
58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest
1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it?
1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner
1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded
1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior
1:07:28 Playin the armchair psychologist
1:10:46 Outro
In this unprecedented interview read by the podcast host, a Closeness Client shares her struggles with intimacy and grapples with her desires for dominance and assertiveness in relationship. A two part interview with a "director's cut" version: commentary from the host, as well as an unadulterated interview. Does her experience hit home?
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Intro
2:15 The basis of this interview
6:04 The unedited interview begins at about 58 minutes
6:24 The interview begins
7:09 How long have you been together and what is working?
8:16 Fantasizing about dominance
8:42 How is your communication?
9:16 Some personal commentary
11:56 What are you struggling with in your relationship?
12:40 Discussion about women waiting for the action
14:52 She needs a dominant man
22:58 How can I help and what do you want to accomplish here?
29:40 Infidelity and frequency of sex
32:48 Expectations about sex
35:12 Who rejects who more and why?
38:59 Where would you like to see your partner be more of something
40:48 Her primal sexual experiences
44:40 My commentary
50:30 How a man can assert dominance in an attractive way to her
53:00 The importance of women speaking their minds in relationship
53:32 Her sexual kinks and interests
54:02 Do you climax regularly, even if not together?
54:16 She wants to learn how to be more feminine and elimiate masculine energy
58:34 FULL UNADULTERATED INTERVIEW
1:21:59 Outro
Without a doubt, one of the number one reasons people struggle in long term, committed relationships, is because they feel like best friends or roommates at home. There's no passion or excitement! Nothing is moving forward, or things have gone stale. In this hour long episode you’ll learn how to immediately take the reins again and change that immediately.
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Intro
0:57 The Waiting game
3:47 Why this happens
4:57 Women can take the lead without being outrageous
8:13 If you’re already a woman who’s comfortable initiating
10:46 Women don’t want to initiate
12:56 women are hornier but can go longer without it
14:08 On sexual tension and the importance it
15:32 What I think women want sexually
18:01 Summary of key points
21:17 Women can progress things too!
23:23 Ladies you re allowed! Give yourself permission
25:45 Something women can do to initiate or be more receptive
30:02 Men who think they always need to chase
30:55 Women and lofty expectations
31:40 Men can pick up and notice things but not ultra subtle cues
32:58 Just because you’re letting it happen does not mean you necessarily like it
36:54 Advice for men
39:44 Sex and sexuality often doesn’t happen outside of the house
42:46 Sitting separately on the sofa like roommates
48:20 You can’t be too sweet or exclusively sweet
50:28 Examples of being sexy
53:02 Don’t be predictable
54:42 How to engage in suggestive behavior
57:20 How to handle yourself with most women
58:59 How to keep the train moving forward
1:01:23 Further problem solving
1:04:36 Dirty talk
1:05:30 Men really struggle to play and not act
1:07:30 Finding the right words to use with your woman
1:09:24 Delivering the goods
1:13:14 Outro
Often the things we aren't doing in bed can be as detrimental as the ones we are. Here are ten reasons why your wife or girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you.
An unusually intelligent and intellectual college student explores her boundaries of sexuality, and intimate desires. How men and women at the university level interact with each other these days in the dating world is different than what we've seen before. Together, we explore who should initiate and seduce in the bedroom, male and female nature, teaching inexperienced men how to have sex, what confidence looks like in a man, handling rejection, solving the eye contact dilemma, what eye contact actually conveys, the necessity for men to be dominant, coming into her sexuality and more!
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
4:45 Speak up for yourself
12:00 Speaking unconsciously for obnoxious lengths of time
20:26 Making her come well and relax often triggers women to talk
22:24 Learning to be open and in a receptive mode to welcome intimacy
25:58 Don't have sex with people you don't like sleeping with
27:02 Beating up your man for mistakes from his past that he has remedied
33:05 Not letting insecurities get in the way of a good time
36:38 Toning down the arrogance, entitlement and aggressiveness
40:00 Talking about and bringing your fantasies to life
43:00 Coming to terms with the duality of your beauty
54:30 Actually do stuff to your man
59:00 Bonus: Stop grabbing our D's like it's a stress toy
1:00:48 Bonus: You really can do more. Your advances are almost always welcome
Intimacy and closeness are not always about the hottest sex tip or latest magazine article for instant results. Sometimes it's about being a better person. Here are 10 strategies that are sure to not only make you a better human, but will also make your man feel more open and receptive to having sex with you.
The most difficult subject for any man to think about much less discuss is likely to be: keeping it up, getting it up and finishing too quickly. This is an episode you'll want to listen to with your partner because there are tools, tips and tricks in here for both men and women. Don't skip out on incredible intimacy when the answers can be found right here!
CHAPTERS
0:00 Introductions
1:33 Finishing too quickly is not an option for a successful relationship
2:35 It’s not enough to only accommodate her in other ways
4:04 Women need time to get warmed up!
5:50 It's selfish of you when you finish first
7:40 Analyze your equipment - where are you the most sensitive
8:49 Rocking back and forth
9:37 Grounding yourself
12:14 Caveat for particular women who hold back sex
16:57 Being slothful and lazy
19:19 More techniques for a man to ground himself
21:41 Don’t transition from one thing to the next without a break
24:05 How do you initiate sex
26:46 Body language. It matters!
30:40 Remaining calm through the storm
34:24 Don’t get so focused on not finishing
35:48 Finishing and the actual orgasm are two different things
37:12 Thoughts on edging
39:39 You just can’t last without practice
40:45 Thoughts on taking care of her first
43:32 Simply making a woman come once is not the answer
44:30 Selflessness vs selfishness
46:46 When you’ve been with someone for a long time
49:16 How to be a little more selfish
52:11 Maintaining your erection
52:50 The absurdity of constant hardness
55:10 The women that want you to be ‘obsessed’
58:55 Where exactly do you touch her if she doesn’t want certain parts touched?
1:01:09 It’s not always about how hard you are
1:02:09 Men avoid sex too, just like you
1:04:04 When you catch yourself avoiding sex, do this instead
1:06:46 Being afraid to touch it and getting uncomfortable
1:08:00 Things women do that do NOT help
1:11:26 Why is touching it not ok
1:13:49 Removing the stigma of touching yourself
1:15:23 Bad expectations
1:19:35 Outro
CHAPTERS
0:00 Introductions
3:29 How exactly does a man learn to be dominant
8:06 What does healthy dominance mean?
14:30 When a woman is ready for sex before you are and understanding gender roles
16:15 What is sexual foreplay?
22:05 Women often can't express what they want
24:03 How do you handle bad results and fears
25:37 Welcome to Deep Listening™
29:04 What do women want in bed?
30:15 The shadow side of aggressiveness is not sexually attractive
32:45 What are some better approaches
35:36 It's not about acting
36:32 What is your working definition of being dominant?
38:15 More on what healthy dominance is not
42:00 Men have a different idea of what dominance is, and it's not good
46:40 Anything can be done with the right tone, intensity and speed
47:40 Women with sass
50:16 Don't treat her like a dog
52:06 Why men have such a hard time doing it right
54:18 Women already deeply struggle with decisiveness
55:32 Most women don't often know what they want or how to help you
57:46 More steps to begin being more dominant
58:38 How to demand a woman's presence
1:00:03 Please stop saying I don't know
1:01:58 How to ask the right questions
1:03:45 The myth that the fantasy just happens... naturally
1:06:16 How men ask for sex
1:12:50 To be dominant you must know this
1:13:38 More on what being dominant does NOT mean
1:14:46 What would REALLY put you in the mood for sex? Is it help with chores?
1:17:55 Thoughts on initiations
1:20:10 Final master tips
1:24:52 Outro
CHAPTERS
0:00 Introduction and can you have it all? Recitals and disclaimers
2:44 In a nutshell
4:20 What does it mean to have it all?
9:40 Misunderstandings
12:40 Should one person be your everything?
15:21 COVID and Politics
16:26 Are you really perfect, just the way you are?
17:40 The Disney Fairytale
21:30 How Women Select mates
24:39 How men often think of intimacy
25:45 Great sex does not come naturally to most many men
33:04 How does one become a skilled lover?
37:25 Can a man really become a sexual dynamo?
40:26 An unskilled woman CAN be flipped into a fantastic lover
47:24 What do I make of all of this?
49:15 The fallacy of, If they can do it I can too"
56:24 Further thoughtsWe're one moment away from a meltdown
58:09 Is it ok that you don't have it all in your relationship?
Chapters:
Avoid these thirty expressions to have a better life
One of the biggest questions of our time as it pertains to intimacy is whether or not a man should always "finish" when having sex. This episodes dives deep into the pros and cons and explores the little known avenue of pressure that women can place on men. Topics include:
0:00 Introduction
0:53 Societal expectations around finishing
1:33 Typical expectations around male ejaculation
9:10 Is a male orgasm bad?
12:03 The spiritual minded orgasm
13:17 Restraining for energy
14:44 Everyone has a different sex drive
17:43 Pressure!
23:15 There is no reward for marathon sex
30:58 Final thoughts on pressure
34:10 Final thoughts and tips
Please listen to this episode with your partner. Sexually inexperienced men do not get a lot of attention. Because this subject is so sensitive, there isn't much real world instruction around it either. In fact most men grapple with a great deal of shame and guilt around the subject and often will not reach out for help. This episode is for you.
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Introduction Cause and Effect
6:34 You're not alone
9:11 Sex does NOT suddenly become a skill once you're married
12:47 Women do not want to teach you how to have sex with them
17:03 Inexperienced men often find themselves with sexually experienced women
18:25 Inexperienced men often have women initiate in the beginning
21:12 Women get angry, frustrated and resentful when they have to do all the work or nothing happens
23:41 Brief recap
25:32 What can women do to help their men in this situation
28:42 More things women can do to support an inexperienced lover
30:47 Third thing she can do
33:39 Inexperienced men often take on the female role
36:35 Are women more sexual than men?
39:45 Conclusion and outro
One of the most difficult things someone can hear, is that their partner needs space. Nothing is clear, the terms are undefined, and once uttered it usually ends up in disaster. Tune in now to find out what to do.
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Introduction
5:25 Malignant phrases
6:20 How to handle short term space
8:38 When she takes days, weeks and months of space
13:15 What you're supposed to know when she says she needs space
16:08 If you're going to try to make it work, here's what you should do. 15 minutes.
34:42 Do the feelings of the other partner matter?
39:54 How to correctly ask for space
42:21 Asking for space in a healthy and conscious way
44:55 What NOT to do when you needs space
47:36 Should you go out, party, drink and do drugs?
52:45 You actually could have just ended the relationship
53:32 When a guys never texts you back or calls you back...
56:15 How much space do you actually need?
56:54 Why women get upset when a man asks natural questions
59:15 If you're going through this now, it gets worse...
1:03:25 The pitfalls of actually taking space
1:06:42 What if your partner doesn't need or want space but you do?
1:08:43 What if the man needs space?
1:10:54 Summing it all up
1:15:15 How anger and resentment plays in to taking space
1:25:50 Does Tari actually see the value in taking space?
Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this immensely.
1:45 Actions speak louder than words
5:55 What do you actually owe the other person?
8:24 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
10:36 When we invest ourselves too much and get overextended
13:54 Self care and taking care of ourselves
20:23 When you think you don't want anyone else but them
23:28 getting over your previous relationships
24:36 an exercise to show yourself you can get past this... using your exes
26:20 Caring for and helping others...once you're healed
28:21 Can you still be friends with your ex or after a breakup?
30:48 How do you treat your ex after a breakup?
32:38 Personal stories of trying to remain friends with exes
34:15 Why must we NEVER touch again after breaking up?
36:26 The ways that couples deal with breakups
38:34 How to not handle your breakup
41:48 Advice for the person who is hurting the most
45:56 Do you even want to be friends after a breakup?
47:46 Personal stories about breakups and relationships
49:11 Being in love when someone only 'likes' you back
51:42 What to do if you feel like you actually love them more
55:28 Don't stay in relationships where you partner doesn't show up for you
59:17 Personal experience from a partner loving me more, but I wasn't there yet
1:03:13 Nobody wants to be loved when you're thinking about someone else
1:08:04 Outro
One of the biggest challenges of being alive today, is handling, processing, surviving and getting through a breakup. In this 90 minute episode I am going to help you get through it.
CHAPTERS 0:00
Intro 2:45
You are probably in crisis right now
7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them
8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process
10:20 The disaster of distracting yourself vs healing yourself
12:14 The age old adage, that everything heals with time is not helpful
14:45 How to self soothe and search for relief
17:33 Avoiding unhealthy distractions
24:39 How can you separate distractions from helpful actions to occupy your mind or time?
30:09 Things to not do during your healing process
35:00 The kinds of friends you should seek solace from
39:14 Feng Shui and letting of old possessions
41:05 Questions to reflect on
43:02 It's the aftermath of a breakup that makes spending time together impossible
48:01 Trying to be with or supportive of your ex while they are reeling
50:01 The loss of all terms of endearment
51:43 Pay attention to how they treat you during and after a breakup
54:19 We never want to talk about it when things are going well
57:27 We don't need to suffer so deeply to experience the highest of highs
59:15 When you like or love your partner more than they like or love you
1:00:42 The person who loves you less will tend to gaslight and attack you
1:06:10 People are selfish 1:08:26 You're never going to get what you want when you need it most
1:17:07 People lie... incessantly
1:22:21 In lying to and deceiving your partner, you will lead them on
1:26:36 When they tell you they need space...
Breakups are extremely painful and can often take months and years to heal from. But there are always warning signs and things we often ignore. In part one of this three part series, we help you identify what's working and not working right now in your current relationship, to see if it will last or if it's time to breakup, given how you're being treated.