Sidelined Stories

There are times when the drive to continue to compete is so strong that an athlete can end up staying at it much longer than is probably best. That certainly was the case for Emily Allard who did everything humanly possible to avoid medical retirement. She hadn’t yet, after all, been able to fulfill her dreams of playing in the Olympics and anything short of that goal was unacceptable. At a certain point though, she had to face the fact that the concussion she sustained years earlier had caused such lingering effects that her athletic goals were no longer healthy or sustainable. Emily shares how her long history of playing through injury, blocking out pain, and putting up a facade kept her from making the decision to medically retire for far too long and also impacted her ability to fully accept her new reality following retirement. Emily discusses what she’s learned over the past several years about the “athletic mentality” and the unhealthy thinking patterns that caused her to power through even when it wasn’t good for her. This episode is chock-full of various aspects of medical retirement: navigating the decision to medically retire, challenges of a layered transition in retirement (working through both physical symptoms on top of the emotional/psychological), loss of relationships with the team, bottling up feelings, difficulty opening up, feeling lost, hitting rock bottom, seeking therapy, the decision to stay involved with your sport or to walk away completely . . .We hope this episode is especially helpful to those athletes whose intense grittiness for sport has complicated their medical retirement and made them feel incomplete without the fulfillment of their dreams. You may feel like all is lost, but it isn’t. We hope you, like Emily, will be able to find a way to stop running into the brick wall that is “denial” and lean into acceptance in letting go of control of what you thought your life would look like and find fresh hopefulness for your future. 

The decision to medically retire can be a grueling one especially for an athlete coping with chronic illness for years. In this interview, former collegiate gymnast Zoe Schweitzer talks about the challenges of coping with constant setbacks in her gymnastics career including injuries, chronic illness, and COVID-shutdowns. Zoe shares how she came to know it was time to medically retire and what led her to be confident in that decision. She opens up the emotional toll the anticipation of her social media announcement had on her and shares her experience navigating the related grief process of losing her identity as an athlete. Through the process of letting go of others’ expectations and building up her identity, she stopped shrinking back and learned how to confidently live in full authenticity of who she is and who she was made to be. Zoe talks about the power of community and how she was able to utilize her existing community for support while also building new community in her transition following medical retirement. Grounding herself in her faith and in finding her greater purpose allowed her to think positively about the future, envisioning a meaningful life even without gymnastics. She also learned that gymnastics wasn’t the end-all-be-all and could appreciate how her athletic career had actually served her well in preparing her for life beyond sport. You won’t want to miss the top three things Zoe learned in medical retirement that transformed her thinking and gave her a solid foundation to build a new path forward. 

No doubt every athlete experiencing repeat injuries fears the possibility of the premature end of their athletic career. Enduring years of injury, re-injury, therapies, surgeries, and rehab can take a toll on an athlete, both physically and mentally. It’s always a potential reality that one day, it becomes clear that the comeback they’re looking for is just not going to happen. That day came for Jonathan Giles his sophomore year of junior college and would cost him the scholarship he had been offered to play at Georgetown. In this interview, Jonathan shares openly about the struggles he experienced following medical retirement. Self-blame, resentment, changed relationships, unfulfilled dreams, the impact of bottling up his feelings, identity loss . . . were are all part of his journey.Refusing at first to open up to others about how he was feeling, Jonathan discusses his experience of trying to manage his struggles on his own. Eventually, Jonathan would see a therapist who challenged him to work through his unhealthy thinking and find the motivation and drive to explore new passions. Don’t miss the top three things that Jonathan learned through therapy that would finally set him on the path to acceptance and a new passion for life! Hear how changing his mindset helped him unlock experiences he never thought he would have had. Need help finding a sports psychologist or therapist? Check out these online resources which helped Jonathan find a sports psychologist to work with:Psychology TodayOnlineWebCounseling.com

Working through a significant injury with a long recovery process is difficult for any athlete. Hundreds of hours in rehab, sitting on the sidelines for months on end, feeling a measure of disconnection from teammates, coping with depression and both internal and external pressures to return to play ready to contribute to the win — all can take a significant emotional toll. When Jackie Allibone made her comeback from a torn ACL, only to face a second and more significant devastating knee injury, the psychological impact complicated as her athletic career was forced to an abrupt end. In this candid interview, Jackie opens up about the internal turmoil that she worked so hard to suppress during those years. Hiding her internal struggles from her coaches, teammates and even family because she didn’t believe there was a safe place to talk openly about all she was processing resulted in unhealthy thinking patterns which would shape her feelings about her self-worth and impact her mental health for years to come. This interview is a must-listen for anyone who has ever struggled with beating themselves up over internal conflicts, challenges with mental health, or loss of identity. There is hope and freedom when you finally release what is going on inside. The truth is, no matter how you’re feeling, you are not alone. The human experience can be complicated and we were never meant to bear our burdens on our own. Jackie’s story reveals how through acknowledging personal pain and addressing it by embracing help from others, we can begin a process of personal healing and growth. 

Having experienced multiple concussions in his football career, Northwestern University cornerback Matthew Harris understood the risks he was taking returning to play. Following recovery from another severe concussion, Matthew knew he had some hard decisions to make regarding his future in football. As one of the top cornerbacks in the BIG10 and projected to be an NFL recruit, he made a personal decision to keep pushing towards his dreams and hoped to avoid further brain injury. Unfortunately, the next season he experienced yet another concussion, this one caused by just an average football play. Matthew knew the right decision for him was to discontinue competition due to brain health concerns. Though confident in his decision, the reality was the emotional toll was significant. In this podcast discussion, Matthew opens up about his experience with identity loss, depression, anxiety, and his hidden battle with suicidal thoughts. He encourages struggling athletes to invest in their mental health in the same manner in which they trained for their physical health as an athlete. Listen to learn more about how Matthew came to train his thinking patterns away from a “deficit-based” mindset and into an “asset-based” mindset. Matthew discusses the biggest regret he has in his transition out of football and the one thing he wishes he would have pushed himself to do in those months following the end of his football career. In this memorable interview, Matthew reveals the three things that freed him from his dark thoughts and literally saved his life. A don’t miss interview for any athlete struggling to find closure following an end to their sports career. This discussion also provides a sidelined athlete’s support network with useful insights into the psychological impact of a medically forced exit from sport. 

Following a severe labrum tear that derailed her dancing career in college, Chrissy Papetti spent the next several years working through an intense physical recovery on top of the emotional journey following the loss of her craft. Many athletes sidelined by injury experience an additional layer of complexity in their transitions forward - the physical rehabilitation to rebuild a normal quality of life. Walking around and exploring a new city, going on a daily run, or playing a pick-up game of ball with some friends can be problematic for sidelined athletes due to the residual pain caused by damage to their bodies from the injuries they have sustained. Battling pain for years following her injury, Chrissy sought and tried every medical option on the market in an effort to regain her quality of life. Nothing worked and it seemed she was out of options. At her wits' end, she reluctantly explored an option which at first, seemed absurd - the mental side of pain management. By keeping an open mind, the research-based strategies she employed drastically altered the trajectory of her pain management journey and she now lives a normal life where pain no longer prevents her from living her life to the fullest.Now an Occupational Therapist and Life/Mind Coach working with sidelined athletes and performers, Chrissy brings a full spectrum knowledge of the issues at play for individuals looking to rebuild after experiencing a medical exit from competition. In this interview, Chrissy speaks to the life transitions of sidelined dancers, discussing some of the unique aspects of their emotional recovery and explains how mindset work enabled her to regain control over the pain that for so long limited her quality of life. 

With her sights set on earning a spot on the Olympic ice skating team, Val Jones was devastated when at 18, she was told she could never skate again following one severe knee injury. Just one triple lutz gone wrong and everything she had worked for her entire life was stripped away. Without any support resources or someone to help her talk through her loss, Val found herself processing that deep grief on her own and struggled for years to come to a place of personal acceptance and hopefulness for the future. Now a motivational speaker, CrossFit instructor and CrossFit gym owner, Val shares insights she has learned over the past three decades about utilizing what she learned in sports to retain the competitive spirit for life. In this candid interview, Val speaks about the significance of sidelined athletes allowing themselves the grace to grieve the loss and encourages them to harness social support, gratitude, and the competitive drive in order to come to terms with their new reality and find a meaningful way forward. An inspiring interview for all competitive athletes, encouraging us to reflect on the power of sports in shaping the inner person and preparing us for a lifetime of overcoming mental and physical obstacles of all kinds. 

His freshman year of high school, Dexter Hollingsworth faced the complex decision to discontinue football due to a series of concussions that left him vulnerable to long-term brain health damage if he continued. Dexter shares about this difficult decision and how the support of his family, team, and coaching staff enabled him to find a positive path forward. Dexter speaks about the transformative power of staying involved in the sport he loved through alternate avenues. Now a graduate assistant coach for quarterbacks at the University of Southern Mississippi, his story demonstrates the power of adaptability to achieve the same thrill of competition long after your days of competing are over.* Also a great listen for coaches looking to learn how to provide meaningful support for athletes forced to discontinue competition due to medical concerns. This team did it right! 

It's been said that there's no testimony without a test. For NFL Player, Johnathan Franklin, that test was an unforgiving and brutal reality check that one play can destroy an athlete's career at any moment's notice. Listen to accomplished RB, Johnathan Franklin's testimony about the after-math of learning that no doctor would ever clear him to play again after a spinal contusion suffered in a game against the Minnesota Vikings his rookie year in the NFL. By all accounts, Johnathan appeared on the outside to be handling the situation in stride, pushing forward to new pursuits. Internally, what no one knew, was that his identity, his confidence - had been shattered with the loss of the dream he had worked his whole life to achieve. Johnathan opens up about his inward brokenness and confusion, despite the facade he displayed. In this interview, you'll be inspired to hear Johnathan's personal transformation as he learned to release the pain, accept it, and embrace a higher purpose behind it. Johnathan's deep faith helped him emerge from the ashes and find his worth in something more secure than his ability to compete on the football field. Now working with the LA Rams in Community Affairs and Engagement and as a selective game analyst for CBS-aired Rams games, Johnathan has turned his passion for football into a new career path and is living out bigger dreams in ways he never dreamt. A don't-miss interview that will leave you inspired to keep dreaming and reinventing yourself no matter what obstacles you encounter. 

The story of how one major concussion sidelined Alissa Boyhtari's hockey career and forced her to carve a different path forward. Alissa shares her experience with concussions during her teen years and the pressure she felt to "tough it out" as a competitive athlete. Hear her story of her path to brain health recovery and how she resolved to listen to her body instead of the external pressures to get back to "normal life". Alissa shares how her faith enabled her to solidify her personal self worth in something more solid than the opinions of others. In this interview, you'll learn the complications that can come with having an "invisible injury" which nobody else can see. An interesting interview to learn more about how concussions can affect athletes trying to get used to a new normal. 

The story of Jonathan Meldrum, a former Syracuse offensive tackle. Jonathan opens up about his battle with depression during his collegiate career as well as the depression he experienced after becoming permanently sidelined due to repeat knee injuries. An NFL hopeful, Jonathan talks about his struggle to accept the reality that his playing days were over and discusses the impact of the loss of the affirmation, accolades, and identity that his athletic achievements produced. A candid look at the internal toll the pressures of athletic achievement can take on the individual. Listen as Jonathan shares his inspiring story of personal transformation.

The story of Chris Norton, a former football player for the Luther College Norse. His career ended when he became paralyzed while making a tackle during a kick off. He was given a 3% chance of ever regaining movement below the neck, but, through grit and determination has chosen to move forward and defied those odds. Today he manages his non-profit foundation and works full-time as a motivational speaker. Hear Chris' incredible story of how he gained a greater appreciation for life and learned how his true identity was in something more concrete than just being a football player. 

The story of Brett Ball, a former basketball player for South Carolina who was forced to quit competition in college after being diagnosed with a heart condition. Brett opens up about her resistance to getting help from a sports psychologist, her anger with God, and the significance of finding other sidelined athletes to talk to. 

The story of Devin Hedgepeth, a former football player who last played football for Oklahoma State. Devin was a projected first round draft pick for the NFL but was forced to walk away from football after one too many Achilles tears. Devin speaks of the heart break and identity loss of having to leave his sport and the resiliency he acquired in overcoming his new reality as a sidelined athlete.

The story of Erin Walter, a former midfielder who last played for the Saint Louis Athletica. Repeat injuries sidelined Erin permanently and altered the course of her life. Erin speaks of the hardships of having to walk away from a life of soccer and the freedom she experienced when she learned to redefine her value in something more secure. Erin shares how the qualities that made her a top competitor translated to her pursuits in the business world.