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Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum--the blog!
252 Episodes
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Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of ou...
Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All!Whether you're a pastors' wife, or a female pastor yourself, living life in a fishbowl can be hard. We talk about parenting, marriage, and finding friends when you're in church ministry.Things mentioned in the Podcast:Pastors’ Wives Tell All: Pre-order HereGet Your Preorder BonusesFind out ev...
With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better. To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch, or any of our courses!About Zach...
1We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realize...
When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too!Our Sponsor:The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A ...
Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the con...
Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.Our Sponsor:The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The...
Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a mont...
So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workFor tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fr...
The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch at our store, or any of our courses!Things Mentioned ...
Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling?Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulated. One is a woman who has written prolifically for them, and when you look at her articles and what she reveals about her relationship, a TON of re...
Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a Jesus who understands and sympathizes with our struggles.Things Mentioned in the Podcast:To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month ...
Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women’s bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It’s scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe.Things Mentioned in the Podcast:To Support Us:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work Or, for tax...
Links to things mentioned:First, support us!Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation Check out our Merch!Our ResourcesSign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails The Orgasm Course (there’s also an add-on for husbands) She Deserves Better bookThe Studies We Looked At:Time Use and Feelings of Love “Women Get Worse Sex: A Confound in the Explanation of Gender Differe...
Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriageOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruitsCheck out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails: http://eepurl.com/z0VFnThe Great Se...
Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriageOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruitsCheck out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/Emerson Eggerichs’ reel where he talks about relationships https://www.i...
Links to things mentioned:Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our Facbook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!Thanks to everyone who helped us reach our fundraising goal! You can give to our work and get tax deductible donations (within the United States) by donating to the Good Fruit Faith initiative of the Bosko Foundation. Check out our Merch at our store, including our biblical womanhood and biblical manhood merch, our new Jezebel merch, and more!Join our...
Links to things mentioned:Partner with us at Good Fruit Faith, an initiative of the Bosko Foundation, as we help impact future church leaders with our data and our message (tax receiptable within the U.S.): https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruitsJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts! https://patreon.com/baremarriageFind Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer’s book Pivot: https://amzn.to/3ToOKiV, along with their first book together A Church Called Tov: ...
Links to things mentioned:Our marriage survey is still open! We’re looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grimJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriageHelp us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERELaura Anderson’s book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0ZhsFind Laura on Instagram:...
Things mentioned in this podcast:Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential): https://baremarriage.com/grimJoin our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriageJoin our email list and get Rebecca’s awesome Friday emails as well as a roundup of our best posts and podcasts: http://eepurl.com/z0VFnSarah’s Wilderness to Wild program: https://wildernesstowild.co...
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I find it funny(tragic), that the people (men) who are the most likely to yell about children needing two parents are the ones to think that women need to be the only ones to care for the children.
Love how she sais this book is reseach based, when she basically asked men if they prefer chocolate or vanilla icecream, and then infired that women just like the opposite of men. Thank you for pointing out all those flaws.
So brave! God bless you, Alyssa.
at some point can we get Conner his own podcast? he cracks me up and he's so on point (although all of you are to be fair)
"If we apply ourselves, we can be just as tough as women." <- Connor is the best! 😄
Men and boys don't have a problem expressing themselves at all. They express joy, anger, depression very well. And ones who get violent are absolutely expressing themselves. Let's no longer pretend that's men's issue instead of the WAY men choose to do it. also, heartily disagree that women don't appreciate men enough. Wives make post after post after post about how blessed they are because for horribly bare minimum stuff like their husbands not cheating, not abusing them, or putting the dishes away like he's supposed to.
re: secular people, for the most part that's not true at all. the women come back because they like the guy or are desperate (since we're taught we're not worth much without male validation). or more sinisterly, the guy is very manipulative, possibly a red piller or PUA, pretending he'll love her if she sleeps with him, or using games (pretending he's unimpressed with her so she'll work to do what he wants). also, many men don't really care if other men don't make their wives/gfs orgasm and some even admit this. the failure will fall on the women, not the men
"why is [him being bad at pleasing her] never an option?!" because society raises men to be sexually selfish, see his own orgasm as the point of sex. :(
you're not "supposed" to want sex; it's not a duty. it's completely up to the couple
This episode is amazing! Well done Sheila for standing up for what is right.
Holding your wife responsible for your anger is not just dangerous for her but demeaning to their relationship! What are they, a couple or a mother with her child?
"If he wanted to, he would." He can see that pile of dishes; he just doesn't want to do them. that's not "man bashing", that's lazy person bashing.
I love suits too but the guy is right, it's not comparable to formfitting leggings. It's the equivalent to a cocktail dress or evening gown. Think Grace Kelly's stunning costumes in her Hitchcock roles! I have never met a woman ever who was physically aroused by suits. Attracted? Absolutely. But a woman a man finds hideous can still turn him on if she's got a body type he likes and is wearing leggings.
the proverb about dripping rain is actually not as bad as it sounds initially. as Giselle from Nagging Thoughts wisely pointed out, it's a woman trying hard to fix a problem that her husband is deliberately ignoring, much like the widow consistently coming at the judge to fix her problem like he should.
"withholding" implies she has something he is owed. no man on earth is entitled to sex or any part of a woman's body.
thank you so much Rebecca!! that is precisely why I dressed somewhat immodestly in some of my teen years. I had been bullied before over my looks and clothes and it left me anxiety ridden. Dressing that way was how I tried to protect myself.
That commenter was so right on! and yeah, I think if most men actually cared about their wives' needs, they would ask. If he cared, he'd make an effort. Men aren't stupid. Women have been patiently explaining ourselves till we're blue in the face and told we're wrong about our own needs, bodies, and sexualities and of course God. If he wanted to, ladies, he would! I love Sheila but I do think she's a bit too nice to men, and in a way male authors rarely are to women.
That "ENTJ" is 100% not a ENTJ. Can't commit? Craves adventure? A thousand hobbies? That the exact opposite of high Ni. Ni focuses on a singular goal and finds it super hard to waver. They are committed,particularly when combined with Te. He is clearly an ESFP. The wife could be an ISFP but in guessing she is an ISFJ because she sounds- from what I can guess from the limited info- focused more on group harmony (Fe) than values (Fi). this is why we study the functions 😄👍
also Sheila I'm quite sure you're an ESFP or ESTJ! xNTJs are very rare and most people mistype as them. I think you work well in the moment and are a genius at reading the room, you judge things by your values and it's great!
hey! I know this is a little off topic but as a huge mbti fan, I'd like to say please do not take those online quizzes seriously. They're heavily biased against sensors, extroverts and feelers, and greatly mistype women as "feelers" and men as "thinkers" due to sexist stereotypes and gender roles. I mean, I'm an ISFP and it typed me as an ISFJ! Please, everyone, study the cognitive functions! It's not only much more it but accurate and be far less likely to mistype! I'm better this lady is no more a feeler than her husband. Men have just been trained to think they're inherently more logical which obviously untrue.