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I Bet You Think This Podcast Is About You
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I Bet You Think This Podcast Is About You

Author: S&M

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We are two women. Two normal, regular, ordinary women just like you. And just like many of you, we have loved monsters. We have felt the shock, the confusion, the heartbreak, the trauma, and, yes, the overwhelming shame of ever letting these perpetrators get to us. But the thing is, the more we decided to share our stories, the more we learned that we are a legion. Almost every single person we have shared our stories with, has a similar story. The same story. It turns out that the Cluster B personality disorders - the psychopath, the sociopath, the narcissist, the borderline, and all the other antisocial personality disorders - are far more common that we knew. Devastating, but common. We are not alone. You are not alone. We started this podcast to share our truths and listen to yours. To share heartbreak and shame, to tell cautionary tales, to encourage, and to love. We are here to change ourselves and our communities, because we know the antisocial personality disorder cannot be cured, much less treated. And we are here to laugh with you - because, frankly, once you see this “thing” for what it is and you escape it, looking back can be pretty funny. Trust us. This is our story. It is your story too. We hope you join us. S&M
13 Episodes
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It's Not Me, It's You

It's Not Me, It's You

2019-05-0829:211

S&M discuss what it looks like when you are in the presence of a toxic individual, the characteristics of narcissistic abuse, and how to recognize when it is time to end the relationship...even if it's your mum!
On behalf of the human race, S and M apologize to Lorena Bobbitt, Amy Fisher, Elin Nordegren, and the other victims of narcissistic abuse who have been attacked and ridiculed in the media and American pop culture.  If sociopathic and narcissistic abuse was understood, and victims supported, maybe they wouldn't have to pick up the knife, or the gun, or the 9-iron/driver/pitching wedge (whatever it was). 
The Elevator Pitch

The Elevator Pitch

2019-05-2246:11

S and M discuss "The Patriarchy" and how the patriarchy creates and protects narcissists.  A topic that came to light after cocktails with their girlfriend, in which S and M learned that every single one of their female friends had a story to share about being in an elevator with a narcissistic male, and how those same guys tried to later spin the story and silence them.  Perhaps the best response to the patriarchy is to refuse to remain silent.  Take a listen, and maybe rethink your Elevator Pitch. 
I'm Kind of a Big Deal

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

2019-05-3143:43

It seems like all narcissists make the same statements.  S and M discuss what some of those statements are, what they really mean, and how to respond.  Hint:  basically, you should just run away. 
Get in the Car!

Get in the Car!

2019-06-1034:32

S and M discuss receiving feedback from friends with guests E and K.  Do we listen to our friends when they give their opinions about our toxic relationships?  Should we listen to our friends opinions?  If we can't trust them, are they really our friends?  Good friends have our best interests at heart.  They have seen us at our best and at our worst.  They listen without agenda.  Maybe what they are echoing back to us is our own intuition.  Lots of good content about identifying and surviving toxic relationships.  Also...there's wine!!!    
NPR's Terry Gross recently conducted a compelling two-part interview of notorious narcissist, Howard Stern.  S and M discuss the interview, their undying love for Terry Gross, and the many questions raised by his interview, such as:  can a narcissist really change, can a narcissist become empathetic, and is this newfound "empathy" just narcissism in disguise?  S and M also introduce the "Daily High/Low" and "Girl Crushes"!
S and M discuss the occurrence of narcissism and narcissistic abuse within religious communities.  While only about 1% of the general population could be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (if they ever sought treatment...), a study has shown that almost 32% of religious leaders meet the diagnostic criteria for full blown NPD.  While faith is a beautiful thing, perhaps blind faith isn't.  
The Family Feud

The Family Feud

2019-07-1043:411

Guests "Mr. T" and "Punky Brewster" join S and M to discuss navigating family relationships with toxic narcissistic individuals, what happens when it is impossible to go "no contact" with these people, and what it life is like with them hovering on the perimeter.  It does get better with these relationships behind you, but sometimes you still have to deal with them. Our lovely guests also go head-to-head in a lively game of "Narc or Vegan?"! 
The Morning After

The Morning After

2019-08-0701:10:03

This week, S and M welcome guest Elizabeth Shaw, founder of "Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse"!  Listen in to their discussion of relationships with narcissistic individuals and, more importantly, how to sober up after realizing that you have a narcissistic hangover.  Getting away from these toxic relationships is difficult enough. What do you do when the hoovering and flattery starts?  How do you overcome the trauma bond, and move on to a happy life narcissist free?  
Yoda Liar

Yoda Liar

2019-08-1642:08

S and M discuss trusting your intuition when in the presence of toxic people.  What does intuition feel like, why it is a good guide for our behavior, and how we have been trained to doubt our own instincts.  When you think someone is lying, or you feel like you can't trust someone, is that good enough reason to just get out of the relationship?  Listen in and joint the discussion.
S and M discuss today's toxic dating environment with guest and reformed-dating-guru, Linda.  Have dating apps like Bumble and Tinder created an environment where narcissists thrive and predators find easy prey?  What are some red flags to look for?  And is it even worth it???  Join us as we answer these questions.  Or try to.  Maybe. 
The Tangled Web

The Tangled Web

2019-10-0201:05:38

Serially lied-to "Tina" joins S and Linda in a discussion of liars, lying, and uncovering the truth.  Why do people with Axis II personality disorders lie habitually, what are some of the doozies we have heard (maybe even, sadly, believed), and what happens when we uncover the sordid terrible truth?  If you have ever had someone in your life who looks you in the eyes and lies unabashedly, you want to listen in.
The Divorce Bitches

The Divorce Bitches

2019-11-1938:54

"The Divorce Bitches"...or "The Divorce, Bitches"?  We are sure which.  Divorce attorneys from Thacker Sleight selected the title themselves when they joined S and Linda for a discussion of what happens in and out of the courtroom when you divorce a narcissist, borderline, or sociopath.  What can you expect from your toxic soon-to-be ex?  Join us and find out. 
Comments (1)

Lauren Payton

heey! I was just diagnosed with BPD and I stumbled upon your show. It is AMAZING!! I thought it was something else but its waaay more than I thought I needed. I am 35 and have been in some rough relationships cuz of this cycle of BPD and have some really funny stories... one where my ex ate my 2 pet goats, Dilly and his twin goat brother Dilly. its not funny buuut stuff like that lol. you made me smile and laugh and I havent in a while so thanks girlies

Sep 30th
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