Suffer First

This is a special episode celebrating the greatest day that occurs every year. I’m joined on the show today by my two youngest kids, Callista and Constance (aka Clee and Con). Today we’re discussing the special gift they gave me for my birthday. Enjoy!

I’ve got a story to tell you, but it spans 53 years, so it will take a while to tell and a single episode will not get it done. I’m going to tell you a little of my history, but the story will not be in one episode and it will likely feel a little disjointed as I jump around. Also, I’m not going to try and do this in consecutive episodes, that would bore even me and it’s my story! Just stay on the lookout and it will eventually get told. Lastly, this is not a one and done kind of tale. It started 53 years ago and it’s not over yet. So, this is an ongoing narrative.

On Episode 19 I sat down with Josiah Puyear and we talked about his recent adventure in Colorado. We talked about his new job and his dream chasing. We ended the conversation with some uncomfortable stuff that the females in our house feel the need to talk about around us. It’s good times.

In this episode I simply want to tell you what's been on my mind for the last few weeks. These are some thoughts that have been rumbling around in my human brain and I want to get them out in the open. It's a short episode, but it's to the point. My sponsor today is, "Clee's Gluten-Free Treats." You can find "Clee's Gluten-Free Treats" on Instagram. I normally ask for extra gluten on all of my food, but these cookies have made me reconsider my gluten life-choices. Currently you can purchase Chocolate Chip cookies and Snickerdoodles. Give'em a try, you will not be disappointed.

I sat down a few weeks ago and interviewed a family friend to find out what she’s been up to for the last five years. I will tell you that if you find yourself approaching middle-age and you’ve not got what you want to get yet and your feeling like – “It’s too late, my best years have passed me by,” or you feel like you don’t have enough time left to accomplish your goals, to get your Glory, because you’re now in the 2nd half and your mid-way through the 3rd quarter, or you think to yourself that what you want is really for those that are just coming out of high school or college and I don’t have the time nor the energy to make it happen anymore – this episode is for you, bro! or female bro. My guest is now 48 years old and just became a nurse. She’s a wife and the mother of four. She homeschooled her kids until they started high school and there came a day approximately five years ago at the age of around, uh, let’s call it 43, that she decided that there was more that she wanted to do, and she did it! I’ll let her tell her story, but if you’ve let some time get away from you and you’re questioning whether you’ve still got gas in your tank this is the interview for you. Please welcome my friend, Shannon Toombs.

Over the last few weeks I’ve had several good friends call or email me asking me to explain what I mean when I use the terms “Suffer First” and “Glory Second.” I asked them if they’ve gone back and listened to the first three episodes of the show and each said they had not. So, being the good friend that I am I explained on the phone or by email what I mean by these two phrases. It’s really no problem at all for me to explain it over and over again. Afterall, I love this subject and I want as many people as I can get to better understand what I mean and hopefully share my passion for the subject. But, as I look at the analytics of the show and how many people are listening all over this country and in other countries as well, I realize that they too may not have listened to the first episodes and therefore may not understand what I mean when I say, “Suffer First / Glory Second.” For this reason, I’m re-posting episodes 2 and 3. I hope that folks will take a few minutes to listen to these episodes, so that we can be on the same page and might better understand each other when these terms come up. And they will come up over and over again. This is exactly what this show is about – Suffering and Glory. As I’ve told you before, I’m a “one trick pony, baby.” Suffering and Glory is all I have to offer, so I need you to understand what I mean when I say it. With that said, please enjoy “What Is Suffering Redux.”

On episode 14 of the Suffer First Podcast I interview, Rob Clarke. Rob is a Navy veteran, a marathoner, ultramarathoner, and an Ironman. I’ve known Rob for roughly 20 years, give or take a year or two. He and I met and became friends while working at, InTech, an I.T. recruiting firm and subsidiary of, Merritt Hawkins, a physician recruiting firm in Dallas, TX. We worked together there for a few years then left and went in our own directions. We stayed in the recruiting world and even worked together again at a few different companies. Rob is 44 years old, grew up in Arlington, TX and married his high school sweetheart, Charisma (who is an ultrarunner and marathoner while being a mother and L&D nurse!). They have 2 boys Gabe (14) and Liam (8). After high school Rob joined the Navy- he was interested in the Navy SEALs, but he says he was definitely not SEALs material back then - a big part of that was his fear of swimming and open water. He barely passed the Navy swim test and likened his swimming back then to a controlled drowning. Fast forward many years later- those same fears would haunt him every summer. Finally determined - he met another Ironman who inspired him to sign up for his first triathlon…. just 70 days later…. while he still could not swim and did not even own a bike! Rob’s new Ironman friend suggested that, “not being able to swim and not owning a bike were just minor details. You need to take 2 steps to prepare for becoming a triathlete - Step 1- sign up, Step 2 – work on those minor details!” He persevered and went on to finish that triathlon. Just a year later he completed a half ironman and a year after that he completed a full Ironman! For the uninitiated an Ironman is a 2.4-mile swim, 112 miles on the bike, and a 26.2-mile run. This was a dream come true! He had watched the show as a kid and it took a ton of suffering and dedication to make it happen- all while having a full-time job, being a supportive husband and father. Please welcome Rob Clarke to the Suffer First podcast.

Over the course of the last three of months I’ve started adding some body-work to the Suffer First ride – you know some pinstriping, paint, and some nice tires and wheels. I’m trying to make it look good, I want it to look good. My primary goal is that it perform at a high level, but I want it to look good while doing it. So, I’ve gone back and stepped back and I’ve taken a long look at what Suffer First is shaping up to be. I hope you guys don’t take offense at me admiring it and concluding that it’s looking pretty good to me so far. After three months I’ve concluded -- I like what I see. I have a plan for the show and I’ve got a fairly decent roadmap of where I want to go, so all in all, I’m pleased. But as with all things, if you want to do it well and keep it on the road and performing at a high level, every now and again you have to return to your core. You have to strip everything down and get underneath the “pretty” and make sure the primary components are in good shape and in good order. That’s what I’m doing today, I’m stripping down.

When I was much MUCH younger, there weren’t many things that I enjoyed more than going to Six Flags during the summer with my friends. Every year I would take three or four buddies with me for my birthday and we would be there from the time the park opened until it closed. We’d ride the rides all day! Those are some memories that I will take with me to the grave. But let me ask you a question. Did you ever have the following experience? You’re in the line for the big roller coaster and this line would sometimes take over an hour to get through. Throughout the wait in line you and your friends are talking about how awesome it’s going to be to ride this monster. Half of the enjoyment, fun, and excitement of the ride is talking about it in line. You’re making plans about raising your hands during the ride, you’re making bets on who will start with their hands up, but won’t be able to keep them there for the duration. You’re also starting to make fun of the person that you know will be the weak link. Kids have a way of seeing through the person that’s talking a big game, but in their heart of hearts aren’t going to be able to do what they say they’re going to do. You just know at that age who’s going to chicken out, right? But you’re also just messing around with your buddies and egging them on. It’s not mean-spirited, you’re just messing with each other. You know that no matter what, hands up or hands glued to the rail, you’re going to ride this thing and have a blast! An hour or so goes by and you’re getting closer and closer to the point of no return. Until finally, the people in front of you step through the turnstile, get on the ride, and head out. You watch as their car pulls off and heads up that first big hill. You can hear the screaming start as they plunge down the first big drop. Oh man, there’s no turning back now. This just got real! The time for backing out has come and gone. If you leave now and start the walk of shame, you have to walk through an hours-worth of line behind you and every single person you walk past is thinking, “What a loser,” or, “What a wuss.” So really, you’re forced to ride now. But, there’s always that one friend that talks smack for over an hour about how he’s not only going to keep his hands raised with you throughout the whole ride, he’s also never going to let you live it down if you don’t. He’s got plenty of big talk, but not enough stomach to see it through. This experience is the "jump off" point for this episode. Listen in and I'll tell you how it's a lesson for your roller coaster ride.

Roughly 15 years ago a friend gave me some great advice. I was starting a new job and I was a little nervous about the change. My friend looked me in the eyes and said, “Announce your presence with authority!” He didn’t explain himself. He just said the words and we went our separate ways. I thought the phrase sounded awesome and very powerful, but in truth, I didn’t really understand what he meant. He just laid it out there and left it to me to figure it out. Obviously, this advice was given in the context of me starting my new job, but I wasn’t really sure how it applied. Listen to this episode and I'll tell you how this advice both hindered and helped me in my career.

Ronnie was born and raised in Wasilla, Alaska, and moved to Dallas to start college in 2007. After completing his studies, he jumped into banking and with JPMorgan as a Private Client Banker, handling the investment opportunities of million-dollar accounts. In 2012, Ronnie became a partner with a real estate investment firm called Triple Equity based out of Garland, Texas. With them he was personally responsible for over $14 million in acquisitions and creating the marketing platform that the firm uses to this day. After working with them for 3 years, he sold his share of the company to start his own firm. Since its creation in July 2015, The Walker Group has transacted over $25,000,000 worth or real estate. Ronnie enjoys living in Grand Rapids, MI with his wife and four children. He is committed to “impacting peoples lives through real estate one transaction at a time.” The Walker Group, offers a vast array of services to homeowners with complex housing problems. “We believe individuals deserve to sell their homes without the traditional hassles and on their own timeline. When homeowners sell their homes to us, they get a sale without having to put it on the market, pay fees, or worry about sale contingencies. It’s a simple and fair process. The Walker Group completes between 50-85 properties purchased annually. ‘We make selling a home as simple as 1,2,3.’” Ronnie and I recorded this interview several months ago. I feel horrible that it has taken me so long to get it out to the public, but it’s here now and I’m excited to share it with you guys. Thank you, Ronnie, for spending some time with me. He and his family have moved to Grand Rapids, MI since we did this recording and his real estate business is up and running there. I highly recommend listening to this episode and contacting Ronnie if you have any questions. He knows his business backwards and forwards and knows what it means to “get it done.” Contact Ronnie Walker via: @ronaldbuys - Instagram @ronaldbuys1 - Facebook http://linkedin.com/in/ronaldbuys - LinkedIn www.Ronaldbuys.com

I am certain we all agree on the fact that Kelly Clarkson is the best singer of all time. Right? There is no way this fact can be disputed and to try is futile! The things she can do with her voice are nothing short of miraculous. The first time I heard her on that talent show years ago I knew she was going to be the best thing that ever happened to singing. I’ll admit that I’m not really a fan of some of her particular songs, but that has nothing to do with her voice. Her voice has the ability to tame wild animals and make tame animals wild. Her voice has been used by doctors to heal minor cuts and scrapes and it is a documented fact that Kelly's voice has actually healed a sprained ankle. Look, here’s the bottom line – There is not and never has been a better singer on this planet. But, there is much more to this episode than the fact mentioned above. This episode is about Earth Balls. Listen in and I'll explain it to you.

You may not be aware of this, but one attribute of Suffering is that it’s a learned skill. That probably sounds odd, but it’s true nevertheless. You get better at Suffering the more you do it. It’s not a skill that’s perfected overnight. Actually, it’s not a skill that’s ever perfected. You get better at it, but perfection is not really a thing. You need to practice Suffering. You have to intentionally add Suffering to your life. Also, this isn’t done simply for the raw and bare sake of Suffering, but the intention is to add calluses, toughness, to your soul. When we endure Suffering we heal tougher, stronger, more durable than we were prior to the experience. The soul, the mind, is very similar to our skin and muscles. When you work hard with your hands it’s common to develop calluses once the skin heals. The layer of skin that replaces to previous layer is tougher, more durable, better able and more capable to handle harder future workloads. It’s a new protective layer of skin meant to be prepared to handle the work that’s asked of it next time. When you endure mental stress your mind begins to harden, get tougher, be better prepared for more strenuous work in the future. I call this calluses for the soul.

I am not fancy and I do not promote fancy. I promote simple - hard, but simple. In my experience and in the experience of those I know personally that have reached high levels of success, simple is the soup du jour. Rarely does fancy win the day, any day. The thing that wins 99% of the time is hard work done consistently over long periods of time. This is the topic of Episode 7 of Suffer First.

Which day of the week is most powerful? Is Monday the most powerful day? Is the first day of next month the most powerful day? Episode 6 of the Suffer First Podcast is dedicated to the question, “What day is most powerful.” Please visit SUFFERFIRST.COM as well.

Episode 5 of the Suffer First Podcast is a special one for me. This is the first interview I’ve published and it’s also an interview with my son, Josiah. He’s 21 years old and has lived with the use of only his right leg for the last nine years. Josiah had his left leg amputated when he was 12 years old due to a rare congenital vascular disorder called, Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome (KTS). KTS may affect various limbs of the body by causing port wine stains (red-purple birthmarks involving blood vessels), varicose veins, and too much bone and soft tissue growth. Limbs may be larger and longer than normal as well. The cause of KTS is yet unknown. In addition to KTS, Josiah also had and continues to have lymphatic malformations in his lower left extremity. Despite this, Josiah leads a full, productive, and engaged life. He’s 21 years old and doesn’t have it all figured out yet, but he’s an amazing young man and I’m extremely proud of him. I’ve never known him to allow KTS or the lymphatic issues to stop him from doing anything he wants to do. He’s a hunter, snow skier, rock climber, weightlifter, and has competed in track and field. I hope you enjoy this interview and are able to take away something for yourself. I thoroughly enjoyed spending this time with him and even learned some things about him that I didn’t know. Below are some links you may want to visit. The first link will give you some additional information about Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome and the others are organizations for amputees and other disabled folks, which are worthy of your support. My wife and I are supporters of these organizations and we’ve been very blessed by their work. We would be grateful if you too considered supporting these worthy groups. Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/klippel-trenaunay/symptoms-causes/syc-20374152 Amputee Coalition - https://www.amputee-coalition.org/ Scottish Rite Hospital - https://scottishritehospital.org/ Paddy Rossbach Youth Camp - https://www.amputee-coalition.org/events-programs/youth-camp/ Annual Amputee Ski Trip - https://scottishritehospital.org/plan-your-visit/therapeutic-sports-recreation/amputee-ski-trip National Sports Center for the Disabled - http://nscd.org/

It is vital that you quickly dispense with the worries of what others may think of you as you begin and move forward on your road to Glory. Episode 4 focuses on overcoming the real and oftentimes perceived negative thoughts of others and how they may affect your willingness to start your journey to Glory. Handling this particular issue can have an immediate and positive impact.

In this episode Michael discusses what he means when he uses the term "Glory" in the context of Suffer First / Glory Second. He also reminds you that "Glory" is self-defined. It's yours and yours alone, so you decide what your Glory is.

In this second episode of Suffer First I will tell you what I mean when I use the term, Suffer. I will also tell you what I don't mean by the term. Lastly, I'll give you a few examples of what Suffering looks like.