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In this podcast I will share a perspective of life experiences. It is in the transcending of challenging circumstances where the gift of perspective and wisdom awaits. There have been moments in my life where the struggles and challenges appear to be never ending. In learning to understand those experiences from a mindful perspective, those challenges were moments in time. The happy moments, sad moments are. not perpetually endless. I replaced that with the knowledge that life has a fluid nature. The nature of life prepared me for the sad moments, challenging moments, exciting moments and joyful moments. Each of those moments has an ebb and flow.
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Welcome to Conversation with Katherine and my podcast Seduction of IntensityI recently had a discussion with someone about how intensity can be as addictive as any drug. Intensity can become the familiar emotional barometer of the quality of life. Just think about what happens if you have a relationship with intensity. When there is a calm period in your life and things are going smoothly your relationship with intensity whispers in your ear. There is something wrong. Where is the excitement, drama, problems of living that are familiar. Your relationship with intensity can tell you that when it is present you are ALIVE. The value and desirability of your life is dependent upon how you manage the familiar siren voice of intensity.
Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my Podcast Life is Fluid-Managing ChangeI often have conversations about life and one topic continues to pop up. Change. There is something that I understand about change and that is if you have the perspective and understanding about the fluid nature of life, change is a more manageable process. I also understand that to understand some concepts you need some foundational understanding before you can get any particular conceptThink about the simple math concept two plus 2. Simple concept if you understand 1 plus 1. Foundational understandings are needed for psychological understandings, biological understanding, spiritual understandings, intellectual understandings. I think that covers mind body and spirit. Without the foundational understandings it is like I am speaking gibberish.
Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my podcast Impact of IntensityWhen I was thinking about intensity the first thing that happens is to acknowledge how a relationship with intensity impacts your life. Depending on your season of life the need to manage intensity would be very low in your spring season. This is the season of invincibility, where you thinking nothing bad could happen to you. Intensity is just excitement, and a lot of fun. It brings energy to the table and the seduction starts with how the energy works for you at that time of life. It makes things and people less boring and boredom is to be avoided at all costs. The surge of energy helps you accomplish tasks that you may have avoided believing that waiting to the last minute allows you to have focus, urgency and the tasks are better accomplished by you with this focused energy versus planned energy.
Welcome to Conversation with Katherine and my podcast Value vs DesirabilityThere are so many different narratives that affect our individual and collective journey. One of the main factors, in determining our direction, is the understanding of the difference between value and desirability. Let me first define what I mean when I use the word value. It is self-worth and self direction. I have found different people look at value differently depending on whether they have an internal locus of control or external locus of control they will arrive at different definitions and take a different journey.Now I have used some fancy words, internal and external locus of control simply describe "who is in charge of your life". Do you take individual responsibility for determinining your self worth and thereby determining your value. Or do others determine your self worth and value. This might seem like this is a simple process. It is not.
This is Thanksgiving 2019 and the beginning of the holiday season. In reflecting on holidays, I am struck by how a media narrative has been created. It starts with the commercials and a picture perfect holiday meal with picture perfect people around the table, looking happy and all of them are attractive. I have hosted decades of Thanksgiving parties. I have shopped, chopped and cooked a lot of food. My food is tasty and no one has ever complained about the quality or quantity. I can honestly say my turkey has never looked as good as the turkey in the commercials.I have had a series of mishaps over the years of forgetting ingredients and having to run to the store on the day of to get whatever basic ingredient was missing. For some reason, no matter how much stock I buy I always run out of stock. I think of the memory that my cooking has created for many. There will be someone who remembers their moment at my Thanksgiving celebrations.
Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my Podcast: Micro-Aggression In my winter season, I reflect on a new word for old behavior, micro-aggression. In my life I have been both the recipient of that behavior and I have been the perpetrator of the same behavior. I find it interesting of how this new word gives a new nuanced expression to the intentional and unintentional insults that we as humans are prone to do to ourselves and others.
Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my Podcast Meaning of WordsI know, I know, you may think that I am writing about the Meaning of Life. Nope, I am actually writing about the Meaning of Words. I am struck by how often we use words and how the meaning of those words is so individual that it almost guarantees communication problems.Let me give you an example..in my line of work there is a phrase "best interest of the child" now this phrase is used and misused frequently. There is no clear definition of what is "best interest of the child". If you were to line up five people each person would have a different meaning for those words. So, everyone waves their banner and states they have the "best interest of the child" in mind. Now my position is I can not take a look into the future and know for certain that the decision I make is the perfect decision or even the right decision.
Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my podcast Adventure, Bangkok. I recently went on a short trip to Bangkok, Thailand. When I arrived in Bangkok my first impression is did all of the people of the earth come to this city today. Bangkok has ten million people that live in the city and it felt like there were five millions cars on the road. Traffic is horrific and it can literally take you five minutes to go one block. Traffic is also chaotic and I don't know whether to admire or be confused by anyone that does not live there to want to have the driving adventure in the city.The city is teeming with people and high rise apartments where the elite of Bangkok live. It was explained to me that the reason there are so many cars is most people that work in Bangkok can't afford to live there and they commute for hours. It is also the reason for the many street vendors who supply those with meals that are on the run.
When you have loss someone that you love, time appears to stand still. The world moves at a slower pace and the pain is great. What happens when it is not your grief that you have to manage? Time moves at its normal pace but for the person in your life there is a disconnect. Managing your own personal grief is jut that, it's personal. Managing how you handle someone's else grief is more difficult.Grief changes a person. The person that you know has changed and how do you cope with this new person. They can be moody, difficult, curt, weepy, and on some days just plain old rude. It is difficult dealing with this individual because you can't look inside of them and fix their pain. Nor can you know how long their grief will last. When you are in normal time someone else's grief can seem like a long time. For the person who is grieving time is not what is important. there is no magic time for grief, it can take months and sometimes years for a person to manage their grief.
Welcome to Conversation With Katherine and my Podcast Life is FluidAs I go about my life change always seems to be ever present. Relationships change evolve or devolve as the circumstances unfold. Change and the fluid nature of life appears to be the one constant that is forever in my life.When I was in my spring season time and change did not seem to happen very quickly. Everything seem to move at a slower pace. My impatient nature was constantly being challenged to slow down when I wanted everything to hurry up. I did not understand that life was fluid and anything that I thought would be a forever moment really was one of life's illusions.
This post was written in May, 2011 when I was having a difficult time Finding The Joy in my Life. Recently I have been trying to find the Joy in my life. It feels like it is hiding from me or that I need a secret code to discover the joy. Joy is elusive on a good day. String a few bad days together and Joy is impossible to find. So, I am on a mission. This is Mother's Day and it should be a joyous day. For some it will be the celebration that they had hoped for in their heart. For others it will be just another day of disappointment and failed expectations.So what keeps me from finding my joy. The answer to that question is simple....Me. I keep me from finding the Joy that is waiting for me. I want to make a distinction from Joy and Pleasure. I think that Joy is something deeper than Pleasure. They do have some things in common. They can both be transitory. So what would my life look like if I could find the Joy in life.
If asked, most people could describe greatness. It may be an event, skill, heroic moment or person, a self-sacrificing moment. Many people think of public figures as having greatness. There is greatness all around our lives both public and private.The parent that gets up to go to a job that they hate to provide and care for their family has greatness. That parent is willing to sacrifice for those that they love. The adolescent that works in a fast food restaurant rather than become a street drug dealer looking for the easy dollar has greatness. The child that studies in school and gets good grades in spite of being teased by their peers is great. The person that has a terminal illness that makes the choice to live life until they die rather than waiting for death. The person that has an emotional hit to their gut that knocks them to their knees that finds the heart to get up.
This is my children's book, Adventures of Tiger and Her Friends, Embracing Differences to help parents and children have a positive dialog about differences. Children are aware of differences in each other and this book facilitates the positive discussion of racial , social, physical, and family differences. Tiger discovers how her mixed heritage allows her to feel strong and her difference can be fun because she is loved. Having a positive exploration about difference can help your child understand the benefits of being different. Understanding that sometimes being different can hurt or be scary gives a chance to have a positive dialog about kindness. The book is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble.
I have been having solitary adventures since, November, 2018. the majority of those adventures have involved me traveling to new places. I went to Savannah, Georgia November, 2018, this was my very first solidarity adventure. I followed that adventure with a trip to New Orleans, December 2018, Iceland, February, 2019, Austin, Texas, March, 2019, Bali, April, 2019 and Cuba, May 2019. As you can see, I was trying to make sure that I accumulated plenty of air miles.These adventures have taught me a lot about myself. I have a travel companion that I take on my adventures her name is Magic. Now, Magic is my externalize name that I have given for an aspect of myself. Before you start thinking of multiple personality, it is my belief that we as humans have different aspects of ourselves. We can be kind, not kind, good, not good as humans we don't operate as singular entities. These different aspects allow us to engage in different ways under different circumstances.
I find that people are like gems. Some rough, some polished. If you are walking down the street and you see a shinning gem do you pick it up? Do you pick it up and then decide that it is not big enough, shiny enough, not valuable enough and then toss it away. Then another person walks by and picks up that same gem and decides it is the perfect gem for them. A diamond does not lose its value because you throw it away. It just doesn't have value for you. In your spring and summer seasons of life many times you wrestle with the "Why". "Why didn't they love me, like me,want me, care about me". You look in the mirror and think that if you change your hair, your clothes, your weight, your style that you will become "good enough" for that person. Most of the time it does not work. Everyone does not value Everyone. It is sad, but true that you can make yourself over and it still won't work.
Welcome to Conversation with Katherine and my podcast Buying the UpsideWhen you meet that special person and your eyes lock and your heart beats a mile a second you have a spark. You may say to yourself, this is the one. I say that you are buying the feeling not the person. Buying the Upside is very common in the American culture. This is a romantic culture in which we have such hopeful optimism about what romance brings to our lives. Other cultures have similar concepts, how they define their upside is different. All upsides are not warm and fuzzy. Some people have dark places in their spirits. They see the world as a pretty gloomy place. In their world, all men are dogs and all women are a word that rhymes with witch. Now, it would be nice if they would just meet each other and leave the rest of us out of their world but no, no they have just got to raise havoc with the rest of us.
Welcome To Conversation with Katherine and my podcast FailureFailure is an interesting thing. It can take us to dark places in our spirit. It can makes us question ourselves and others. There are people that lose their faith because of failure. If you are fortunate and you come out of the other end you will gain perspective. Perspective is one of those interesting words that is hard to define, but you will know when you have perspective. You will be able to see the picture with clarity and without blame. Perspective leads to wisdom. This is the gift that is given you when you complete the process. Let there be no mistake failure "sucks". But it is also life's pruning of our spirits and a reminder that life is a fluid process.
I recently heard some sad news. A person that I used to work with had a tragedy in her family. Her husband was killed in a house fire. I was a "witness" to their very loving relationship. Let me share with you what I witnessed. This was a unique couple, the man was the Meat and Potatoes and the Ice Cream Sundae all rolled up into one person. The woman would be huffing and puffing around the house and her husband would quietly be in the background. He was a "fixer upper" in the home. He always had all of these projects that were in various stages of completion.He was in the middle of one of his many projects. putting a new tile in the kitchen and he was two years into the project. Now that would have made me "crazy". I would not have been able to tolerate something unfinished for that length of time. I said to her "why don't you just go and hire someone to finish the job". her response "I love him more than I need a floor"
Warm and fuzzy on the outside and Attila the Hun on the inside. Everyone knows a person like this but sometimes they are very hard to spot. Let me tell you about who I am not talking about. I am not talking about when you get into your emotional Sunday best to try to impress. When you are on a first date, job interview, meeting your lovers family and friends for the first time. There is a little pretender in all of us. No I am talking about the most scary of the Pretenders.
My being a social worker is my second major business life. My first major business life was the pursuit of money. I have a secret that I would like to share. Making money is fun. Anyone that tells you that it is not fun never made any money. But let me regress and tell you how I started on that path.I was newly divorced with a young child to raise. My first plan which was to marry, live well, have a couple of children didn't work. Like many women I was looking for my Prince Charming who would take care of me and we would live happily ever after.After all isn't that what all of the Disney movies say will happen? Well it didn't. I found myself working in not the most fun job for a major corporation.
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