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Brand Spanking New Podcast

Author: Brand Spanking New

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A satirical look into the past week of sports, society, and culture.
29 Episodes
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On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I discuss what we know so far about the college football season. I dive into the difference between NFL Rookies, and the young QB's who have already run this road. I question whether Big Ben needs to get a new sponsor, and I eat popcorn at the Ben Simmons drama. 
Is Aaron Rodgers detached from the reality of the NFL? Should we be shocked that the New Orleans Pelicans are a trainwreck? And why does Ben Simmons think he has any leverage? All of this, and some midweek questions that need to be answered.  
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I question why Justin Fields is being treated like a child. I discuss why the perennial powers of college football are now cupcakes.  And I explain why players and teams just don't change. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I break down the opening round of the NBA playoffs. I dissect the dialogue between New York politicians and Hawks guard Trae Young. I try to understand the financial ruin Steve Ballmer is dealing with as the owner of the Clippers, and wonder why the Astros think they have standards. 
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I discuss why LeBron James should change his fighting class to feather-weight.  I criticize why the NBA does not discipline their Divas. I suggest that the Los Angeles Clippers and Rob Schneider have far more in common than we think, and I look into why people are shocked that a Mormon doesn't drink.  
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I reveal the shocking truth that Tim Tebow needs to finally move out of the basement.  I analyze why the coddling of the NBA has killed its ratings.  I wonder if Antonio Brown is secretly a pirate, and I break down why massage therapy is a career choice that needs to be banned from society. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I dive in to discuss Lebron's thoughts on the current playoff situation. I analyze why the Nets are in serious trouble. I look into why David Griffin has an obsession with Melissa McCarthy, and I advise Jimbo Fisher to seek witness protection. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I discuss the winners and losers of the NFL Draft, I break down why Aaron Rodgers is having an identity crisis over "The Bachelor" and I discuss how 10% of Lebron James is better than nothing at all. Also, Bo Callahan is not who you want to build your team around. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I unpack everything that happened in the world of sports since Rudy Gobert got too friendly with a desktop microphone. From the Brooklyn Nets Supersquad, to Aaron Rodgers replacing Alex Trebek, to the Houston Astros impersonating OJ Simpsons. This is anything and everything that happened over the last 14 months. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why people might want to bail on the Clippers, why the XFL needs to get better uniforms, and why Westbrook is the toxic one in the relationship. I also unpack why baseball is littered with scandals, and why it loves to bring that upon itself for publicity. Also, no one cares that Santa Clarita Diet wasn't renewed, right?
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Small Ball is not the best approach if you're walking into Cesar's Palace, why the XFL tastes like a watered down appetizer from Applebee's, and why Devin Booker has no right to be upset. I also unpack why one missed call should not be the blaming point for the derailment of an entire NBA season. Also, Canadians drink maple syrup instead of alcohol, right?
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Kyle Shanahan teams are getting a reputation for falling apart, why new is not always better, especially in All-Star games, and why the Patriots have a worse reputation than the Raiders. I also unpack why Kobe and Lebron will never be in the same category, at least when it comes to their generational differences. Also, Cheers was not shot in Vietnam. 
Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant

2020-01-2803:26

A brief synopsis trying to piece together the last 24 hours of the sports world. 
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Lamar Jackson could be just a fad, why Hannah Brown needs less attention than Giannis teaming up with Steph, and why Mississippi State is not an upgrade over Wazzu. I also unpack why Patrick Reed is the greatest thing to happen to golf since the rangefinder. Also, remember when the mannequin challenge was a thing?
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Tom Brady's time is up, why Adam Silver will never measure up to David Stern, and why coaching the Cowboys is not the most desirable job in sports. I also unpack why the bowl system in college football is flawed and is in desperate need of fixing. Also, James Harden needs to give up the headband. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Joe Burrow shouldn't believe in the Heisman curse, why Urban Meyer will never move to Dallas, and why New England should officially add the word gate to their official city name. I also unpack why the Houston Rockets need to quit complaining about how much they hate the ending of Seinfeld. Also, Grizzly Adams is a bald vegan. 
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Dabo Swinney should be shaking in his boots, why the Cleveland Browns and Dallas Cowboys could switch jerseys and no one would know the difference, and why Patrick Reed might be BFF's with Lance Armstrong. I also unpack why Lebron James may be on his last leg, and why the Lakers should be worried. Also, is Betty White immortal?
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why nobody should jump on the Celtics and Lakers bandwagon just yet, why Antonio Brown is not the real deal, and why the modern media needs to stop think they're being witty with the Houston Astros. I also unpack the details of the Browns-Steelers brawl, and why everyone becomes armchair experts in heated situations. Also, bout to gas up the white bronco!
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Tank for Tua is no longer the slogan for the Miami Dolphins, why teams should invest more in strip clubs than perimeter defense, and why Colin Kaepernick's weekend workout will not get him a job in the NFL. I also unpack the idea of load management, and how Nicholas Cage movies are not the deciding factor in getting the Toronto Raptors an NBA title. Also, is Joe Burrow Ron Burgundy's idol?
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Kyrie Irving doesn't know how to use photoshop, brah, why people would rather watch The Masked Singer than the World Series, and why the NCAA likes taking M&M's from little babies. I also unpack the idea of how the Golden State Warriors are both the luckiest, and unluckiest team in recent history, and why they can relate to an intoxicated Robert Downey Jr. sitting in a jail cell. Also, no one likes steaks wrapped in bacon in Oklahoma City. 
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