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Halfwits & Failed Crits

Author: Halfwit Podcasts

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Halfwits & Failed Crits is an Actual Play Podcast where the players' blundering choices and cursed dice are the real big bad evil standing in the way of getting to the end of a campaign! Join GM Jonathan Swenson while the players Kiley Swenson, Laura Rodgers, and Luis Ardila "expand the chaos" in Children of the Spine - A Stars Without Number Podcast.
(Produced by Halfwit Podcasts)

62 Episodes
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Welcome to Halfwits & Failed Crits!We are an actual play tabletop role playing podcast where Game Master Jonathan tries to get his players to the end of a campaign, even if their cursed dice have other plans.Season 1 is Worlds Divided, a Dungeons and Dragons 5e campaign where an unlikely group forms a guild, and makes it their mission to upstage the top ranked guild in the nation. This is your standard Sword and Sorcery Fantasy, filled with monsters, quests, and mysterious rifts? You’ll see.Season 2 is Children of the Spine, a sci-fi space opera where the players are young adults trying to learn who they are, where they are, and what they are going to do with themselves after being rescued from a very Lord of the Flies type situation on an isolated planet. There is also a prequel to season two where they play max level space pirates hunting objects related to the event that brought our Children together.We also have some bonus episodes such as Backstabbing Beasties, where we play as immortal monsters racing to obtain a chalice that will make us mortal so they can finally rest in peace. We actually recommend that you start listening with Backstabbing Beasties, as it’s self contained, rules light so it’s easy to follow, and the first episode they recorded with great audio equipment and added tons of sound design that will become the norm in Season 2. Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Music:Crunk Knight - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Into the Portal - Wowobit (soundcloud.com/wowobit) Unholy Knight - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4563-unholy-knight)  Support the show
In this episode zero the Failed Crits Crew sits down and breathes some more life into the star sector. Jonathan reads a bit of history from the Stars Without Number rule book by Kevin Crawford, each player develops the lore of a planet, and finally we make the new player characters!Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson  Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.Support the show
After the Scream Pursuit Syndicate met their fate in the final battle of the Prequel, a group of onlooking children were transported to the newly appeared Planet under the Spine, Nedrak. Astrid Folstad (Kiley), John Coal (Bobby), Kamala Magar (Laura), Mohan Wayuu (Luis), and Nadia Kadir (Mary) find their young selves fighting for survival as tensions run high and resources run low. Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Nedrak's Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Support the show
 Astrid Folstad (Kiley), John Coal (Bobby), Kamala Magar (Laura), Mohan Wayuu (Luis), and Nadia Kadir (Mary), are five years older and have lived a comfortable life in the newly established dorms of the Undarnott Service Co. They wake up, hang out, eat food, go to work, and hang out just to repeat the cycle the next day. Some of the party members are getting tired of the daily grind and want to look into exploration grants from The Principality of Vitr in order to find their true homes again. Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. One with All - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Techno Dome - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Support the show
This is the first Faction Turn where Jonathan moves the people of the greater sector around like the little chess pieces they are, which keeps the world alive and changing outside the main campaign.You can follow along with our sector map here https://ko-fi.com/i/IH2H14AW8B!Game System:  Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford.    Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobithttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Tawhid League Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Sovereignties of Quetzilonia Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Principality of Vitr Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Astollean Technocracy Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Neloyan Immaculate Regency Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Tero-Bikan Noocratic Federation Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Xvrak Warlords Theme - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.  Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Support the show
We rejoin the Children as they spend their usual morning in the dorm reading magazines, feeding amorphous wolf birds, hacking  government websites, and figuring out how to obtain a gun.  But their job from the other day isn't complete, and they set out on their first journey outside of Undarnott Campus! What mysterious world awaits where their package needs to be? Find out on Children of the Spine Episode 2 - Real Boats Rock!Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music: The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  One with All - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Techno Dome - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. In the Restaurant - Komiku . Lognar City - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Ominous - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Support the show
This is the first of 5 games that were intended to be one shots, using the Stars Without Number Revised system by Kevin Crawford, but the group ended up liking it so much they wanted to make this the next campaign. In this episode we meet the members of a notorious pirate gang known as the Space Pursuit Syndicate as they begin a heist of some unknown technology being traded in secret. They are Casey Blake Caldwell aka Casey Nova (Luis), Reina Nadya Olalla Sastre aka Madam NOS (Kiley), Tyra Solsdotter aka The Veil (Mary), Tisiphone Halyone Xanthopolous aka Tantalus (Laura), and Alexsander Korovin aka Sasha (Bobby). Game System:  Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford.   Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobithttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/*Voice Over added by Jonathan Swenson.Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.    Support the show
After their cryptic encounter in Lognar, the Children are in search of answers. And what better person to give answers than everyone's favorite elderly neighbor, Frank.Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  One with All - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Techno Dome - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Frank's House - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Support the show
The crew of the Resonance is now in possession of a potential pre-scream artifact, and a map to find more! After deciphering the next set of coordinates, they are off to the planet Barbalil, where a civil war between the monarchy and the religious zealots is reaching a climax. Speaking of, there's rumor that one of our own crew may have an in with the royalty, or inversly, is very much no longer welcome here. Hop aboard the SPS Resonance and join CaseyNova (Luis),  Madam N.O.S. (Kiley), Veil (Mary), and Tantalus (Laura), as we meet new and old friends, lovers, and enemies in Children of the Spine - Prequel Part II!Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford.   Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobithttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/*Voice Over added by Jonathan Swenson.Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.    Support the show
The Children are in lock-down! John, Kamala, Astrid, and Nadia get caught venting, while Mohan stays behind with a clean house and a new friend.Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson  Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  One with All - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Ominous - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Support the show
We rejoin the crew of the Resonance hot off of their battle in Barbalil, a second pre-scream artifact secured. As they make their way to the next set of deciphered coordinates, the planet Ephet-Izaki, we get a rare glimpse at the mundane lives of world class pirates. Infestations, robots, photographs, and a resource crisis all keep the long spike drill rides...interesting. On planet, Madam N.O.S. (Kiley) revisits her Alma Mater, CaseyNova's (Luis) latest creation roams menacingly, Tantalus (Laura) steals from a professor, Veil (Mary)  does the captains job for them, and Sasha (Bobby) hallucinates with some college kids. With so many distractions will they remember to find the hidden artifact? Find out on Children of the Spine - Prequel Part III!Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford.   Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobithttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/*Voice Over added by Jonathan Swenson.Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals. Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.    Support the show
The children prepare for their trip to the true outside of the bubble! Kamala goes through some changes, John is a perv, Astrid tries to redeem herself, Nadia flexes her pilot muscles, and Mohan hunts down his would be abductors!Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Episode Music:The Sector - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. One with All - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Techno Dome - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Chase - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original.  Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Original. Support the show
With the crew forever expanding with the addition of Professor Kono "Flick" Waotaka, the crew of the SPS Resonance needs to learn more about the items they are collecting and what the end game will be. In order to do that, they decide to visit Casey's homeworld of Astollea, where some of the best tech and minds in the sector reside. Will they get the answers they are looking for? Will they have to aggressively escape yet another mission that should have been diplomatic? Find out in Part IV of the Prequel to Children of the Spine!Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford.   Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobithttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/*Voice Over added by Jonathan Swenson.Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Support the show
Bonus - Honey Heist!

Bonus - Honey Heist!

2021-07-1801:39:53

In this bonus episode Kiley takes the reins as GM in a wildly silly one shot where we play bears trying to steal from a honey convention. Join Earl (Mary), Bread (Laura), Kikkoman (Luis), and Mars (Jonathan) as they resist going full bear or surrendering to a life of crime, while trying to get their paws on the most expensive honey they can find.Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Shaking Hands with a Polar Bear - Captive Portal (captiveportal.bandcamp.com)Game:Honey Heist - gshowitt (gshowitt.itch.io/honey-heist) Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.  Support the show
Bonus - World of Wyldrvir

Bonus - World of Wyldrvir

2021-07-1901:25:06

 The Halfwits are lead by Bee, one of the creators of World of Wyldrvir, in a one shot called Nokka's Fishing Hole! We figured since in real life we are about to have a Christmas in July party we might as well invite you on this wintry adventure we all had back in January!Find everything you need to know about World of Wyldrvir here: https://worldofwyldrvir.carrd.co/Make sure to check out more than just our episode because their podcast, and their other guest plays tests are fantastic! Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.    Support the show
We rejoin the Children right in the action as the intense motorcycle chase begins after being shot at by unknown assailants! Will they get back to Undarnott or will they be at the mercy of these terrorists, and where are the beings that were supposed to abduct them? Find out on Children of the Spine Ep 6 - We Evolve Beyond! Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Ending Theme: On the Shore by Kevin MacLeod Link: ( https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4167-on-the-shore ).  License: ( https://filmmusic.io/standard-license ).      Support the show
The crew of the SPS Resonance has collected the artifacts, Learned critical information, made a new mech, and perilously flung themselves toward the final location on their map, not knowing what awaits them. What will they find there? Who will be waiting for them? Will we ever find out what this insidious Scream related plan entails? Find out on the Finale of the Prequel to Children of the Spine!  Note from Jonathan: Thank you all for listening to the Prequel to Season 2! If you enjoyed what you heard then hold on to your space pants because the rest of the episodes from here on out were recorded with amazing brand new equipment, featuring full sound design by myself, and music by Bobby Prater. The new characters are amazingly fun, the players bring their A game like never before, and the world alive and sprawling. We can't wait to bring you in!  The next episode will be World Building and character creation, then a character backstory game, and finally the first real game, followed by a faction turn. We are switching to a 3 week schedule to make sure we always have time to push this content at its best quality. This new season has already doubled our listens, and knowing we are making something you all love is amazing. Again, thank you for being the best listeners.  Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford.    Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobithttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/*Voice Over added by Jonathan Swenson.Ending Theme:Cosmic Banner - Halfwits & Failed Crits Originals.Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. Support the show
The Children take their new mining truck S1LV3A for a leisurely drive across the Fornhagi surface, meeting majestic creatures, lovely people, and trying not to miss their dinner date with Mohan's alien friends. Join our Community! ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Rate & Review! ( https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/halfwits-failed-crits-1012806 ). Bonus Content! ( https://www.ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits ). Follow! ( https://www.twitter.com/failedcrits ). Listen to our other shows! ( https://www.HalfwitPodcasts.com ).  === CREDITS === Game System: Stars Without Number by Kevin Crawford. Opening Theme: Into the Portal - Wowobit ( https://soundcloud.com/wowobit ). ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ ). *Voice over added by Jonathan Swenson Ending Theme: On the Shore by Kevin MacLeod Link: ( https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4167-on-the-shore ).  License: ( https://filmmusic.io/standard-license ).      Support the show
Our resident mistress of the dark Mary takes the role of Fate in this spooky scary one shot sure to send shivers down your spine! Join Murphy the Merfolk (Luis), Lilith the Vampire (Kiley), Amelia the Spectre (Laura), and Joaquin the Mummy (Jonathan) as we race to obtain mortality and a long deserved rest from monstering.Theme:Unholy Knight by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4563-unholy-knightLicense: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Game:Backstabbing Beasties by donnyc.itch.io (@donovanplanet on twitter)Supporting sounds all found on FreeSound.org under Creative Commons 0 License (Public Domain). Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.   Support the show
🔒 Bonus - Kids on Bikes

🔒 Bonus - Kids on Bikes

2021-10-2503:25:49

Subscriber-only episodeGM Laura takes the crew back to the 70's - 80's for this hella bodacious one shot where we play Kids on Bikes by Doug Levandowski and Jonathan Gilmour! Join our crew of kids while we uncover a mystery of radical proportions as people from our small town just keep on disappearing!If you enjoy the system please support them by buying it at https://renegadegamestudios.com/kids-on-bikes-rpg/ ! Opening Theme: Soundtrack from the Starcourt Mall by Bryan Teoh ( https://freepd.com/ )Please Rate & Review us on Podchaser! Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.Join our Discord at ( https://discord.gg/CHUCNTxnat ). Join our facebook group at HalfwitsFailedCritsCommunity. Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. 
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