Musclebound Mama: Eat The F*cking Cake

Self-sabotage is a phrase that we’re all pretty familiar with and one that I hear daily from potential clients. During our intake process, one of the questions I ask is, “What are the behaviors that you engage in right before you abandon your goals?” and the behaviours at the core of this question are the self-sabotaging activities. The reason I don’t ask “How do you sabotage yourself” is because not all of the behaviors are conscious.In this episode, I will identify the five most common self-sabotage behaviours and offer tips to build strategies to end the self-sabotage cycle. 

Vulnerability is messy. It has poor timing. It doesn’t come with filters. There are no re-takes. Vulnerability is the willingness to show emotion or allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known, the willingness to risk being emotionally hurt.Think about that for a moment. Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Do you let others in and see you - the real you? Most of us struggle with this. With this episode, I don’t just want to share that you’re not alone in this struggle - because you are definitely not. I want to help give you some tools to begin allowing yourself to be vulnerable so we can all normalize our struggles collectively. Tune in and find out what they are!

The reality is no one’s success is solo. Our family should not be our obstacle. We do not need to choose to be a mother OR be successful, and doing both shouldn’t mean we shut off who we are to do the impossible. If your husband wanted to make a big decision to benefit him, he would say to you, “this is what I’m doing”, and YOU would make it work. HE is capable of helping you make your needs work, too, but you have to give him that opportunity. Perhaps he will be resistant, and his face will malfunction, but WILL HE DIE? I am guessing not. Here are the facts. You have wants, needs, and goals, and they are NOT unreasonable. If you have been trying to meet those wants, goals, and needs but keep tripping over the same obstacle (which for women is usually dropping our needs for our family’s needs), you need to do something different. No matter how many times you walk into that wall, it will not move. YOU have to move around it. It’s time to stop asking for permission. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” (fun fact that is not an einstein quote).Okay, Sophie, but how? Tune in and find out!

Our behaviour is a byproduct of our neural networking, and our neural networks are built by our experiences. Some of our most fundamental beliefs and behaviours are those we were not actively involved in but rather witness as children. This goes for our beliefs about our bodies and food, too. How we utilize language can make or break our relationship with those things. I don't want you to damage that relationship anymore. Listen in and find out how you can use words to change how you see your body and food in a way that empowers you.

When working from home, I’m distracted constantly. My husband also works from home, and while he tries only to interrupt me for essential things - lots of important things come up when you have as much on the go as we do. When my kids are home, the interruptions are even more frequent. But then, there are fun interruptions like Amazon deliveries, happy texts from friends, or an assignment grade update. It’s endless.When I get distracted, jumping right back into work is hard, so I find myself moving toward the kitchen. Am I hungry? Maybe? Does this sound familiar to you? I mean, food is a fun distraction. But, it was so different when I was at the camper. I never snacked there, and I was only rarely hungry. Why is it so different? Hit "listen now" to find out!

I don’t have to tell you that lockdown knocked us all back a few years in progress with not just our relationship food but our coping strategies in general. It was trash and the world was on fire and we were supposed to be able to talk about it and lean on one another for support. But, very few felt safe enough to do that and so there we all were reaching for food, wine, and online shopping. So, we're starting over and that is HARD. I've got you, mama. 

My job is to help women change their relationship with food. Even though food is an important part of my work with clients, there is a theme that comes up more than food and that is that we - women - are set up to fail. I speak about socialization a lot on this podcast and on any platform I’m given,to be fair, because it needs to be spoken to be understood and it needs to beunderstood to be changed - and I want it changed. Welcome to my feminist rant.Comparison, competition, the patriarchy - we're covering it all.

I remember returning from my coaching session (remember, a million years ago when we used to meet with people in person and not on zoom?!). I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and was ready to prep and rock my first week. I did the prep, portioned out my meals and put sticky notes on my meals matching my meal schedule on the fridge. I felt like I was rocking life for about three days. On day four - I felt hunger for the first time in probably years, and I did not love it.  Hunger triggered outrightpanic in me. In hindsight, I can recognize that what I was experiencing was acombination of physical discomfort and distrust of my ability to cope. I had alimiting belief and it was this: I can’t control myself. Sound familiar? 

Listen, clothing is really just a decoration when you think about it but I realize how much power we give it. We don’t put curtains on our walls and think about how fat they make the window look. Why do YOU have to be judged on your shape but we can learn to love a window or piece of furniture in any condition?Who makes these rules?Your Negative Automatic Thoughts are an important window into your own insecurities. In this episode, we'll dissect some that might be familiar to you!

Today, I’m going to ask you to look at something that causes us a lot of pain - in an objective way.I’m not sharing anything earth-shattering here when I tell you that most women are uncomfortable in their skin. The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar one and the reason for that is we continuously, as a society, shame people for a very basic biological process - fat storage.So, first I want to talk about fat storage. Then, I'm going to help you stop identifying AS your fat storage.

Belief is not “I think I might be able to” - it is acceptance that a statement is true. Acceptance!I was never willing to set goals for myself because I never believed that I was entitled to accomplishing it or capable of achieving it. So, if I didn’t set goals I would not fail myself, right? Wrong.Because, whether we are willing to label it or not - we do hope for things. We do “wish” for things. I hoped for things and my husband did things. The difference was that he believed he would and I only hoped. Here’s the thing: Belief is crucial to achieving a goal. When we believe our goals are possible FIVE things happen. Find out in this episode.

At yoga recently, the instructor asked a question that rocked me. She said: “I love you, and I am listening; when was the last time you said that to yourself?”. I was floored. I think you will be, too.

Have you ever said this: "The scale won't move no matter what I do!"? When this happens, we're so quick to shift the blame to our body and decide that it's not doing what it's supposed to. But, the truth is, there are a number of reasons this could be happening and it's probably not what you think. Tune in and find out what it is and how to move that needle.

I know you expect this episode to be light and easy and tell you not to accept your future in adult diapers and that’s all still true. But, this appointment I'm going to tell you about changed my life. I’ve worked with thousands of women and without exaggeration, at LEAST 75% of them experienced trauma or chronic stress or anxiety. The physiological response I have been experiencing is not unique to me and the solution was NOT on my radar. I hope it’s now on yours. 

We know that success at *anything* comes from planning, prepping and executing - right?Your body composition goals are not different. Not one single person reached their goals accidentally. That means meal planning and prepping so you can just follow the path you carefully laid out - to success. But, how?I'll tell you!

Do you have a goal weight? Have you ever had one? Most of us have or even still have one now. Many have been inactively chasing that goal weight for decades. One of the first questions I ask during the intake process with new clients is “what is your goal during your time here?” The answer I get to this question tells me a lot. Some people tell me they had poor results from recent lab work at their physical and need to make their diet a priority. Some want to create a better relationship with food so their kids don’t develop the same habits they’ve struggled with. Some tell me they need to get their carb cravings under control. But the most telling of all is when a new client says “I want to hit 140lbs by my birthday (or, enter any special occasion in here, really). It seems innocent enough, right? I  mean, it’s a concise goal so this person must know what they want and are going to be hyper-focused on achieving that goal - and that might be true. But, then I follow up by asking if they’ve been that weight before and usually, they have, and that’s why they want to be there. So, it goes without saying that they’ve been there and were happy there - so, that’s the place where happiness happens, right?Wrong.I’ll tell you why.

I’ve compiled a list of 12 things I have learned to-date. I know this list will expand as I grow but here’s what I have so far. I hope you’ll learn some new strategies to help you become the strong, take-no-bullshit person you’ve always wanted to be and to remove those limiting beliefs - and kick ASS at life!

I met some Millenials and I have some thoughts. If you feel like ranting about systemic racism, internalized misogyny, social conditioning and how the Millenials have been sent in for the clean up on aisle on 2020 - this one's for you.

Have you said any (or all) of these things lately?Why can’t I open my laptopWhy can’t I get out of bedWhy can’t I exerciseWhy can’t I be emotionally available to my familyWhy can’t I feed myself properlyMe too. It's because you’re done. You’ve expended more emotional energy than you had and you have nothing left.In this episode, we dive into what happens in our bodies to cause this emotional paralysis and find a way out.

One of the reasons many are struggling with their eating habits right now is this huge loss of control we're all experiencing. I can tell you without a doubt that even those with only a moderately challenging relationship with food, are struggling right now, too.In this episode, we'll talk about coping strategies, cookies, and emotional eating.