Learned Hands: The Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association

In this very special Hands on Episode, Merry, Clint, and Adriana Lady Counselor of the Summer Isles, Archmaester of Pedantic Sophistry, and Founding Member of the Governor Santiago Singh Appreciation Society cover the second act of the seventh book of the BEST SCI FI SERIES EVER, Persepolis Rising from the Expanse.This episode includes:Adriana tells us why Governor Singh is her favorite character, even if he is a villain who is addicted to making bad decisions.A deep dive into how this book explores the theme of sacrifice, the political, and the personal, and the both. Theorizing about whether or not Singh was set up to fail (SPOILER: yes).Drummer and Avasarala talk about what it means to die for something or die for nothing. It's incredible.Holden absolutely rinses Singh on political philosophy and the importance of choice.Merry highlights the book's focus on how ideology is malleable. Clint gives the appreciation for Saba, Our Revolutionary King.Support the show

In this very first edition of the second season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint cover the two competing Green and Black Trailers released today for HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - Season 2In this episode:We break down the Black Trailer and the Green Trailer in a fun and excessively detailed but non-spoilery way!Merry hits the important themes of both trailers, how they both deal with patriarchy, choice, and a lack of agency.Clint tries very very hard to make several Blood and Cheese puns. Everyone has BIG FEELS about the parallels between Alicent and Rhaenyra, our two main characters.Jace is on the Wall with CREGAN THEE STALLION which means we are finally getting some Starks, baby!We go in depth rapid fire on the cornucopia of imagery we get from the trailers: Harrenhal, Brackens and Blackwoods, the Golden Tooth, the Conqueror's Crown, Rook's Rest, Moondancer, Seasmoke, Meleys, Sunfyre, Syrax, Vhagar, Caraxes and MFing THE ISLE OF FACES. The spoilery section gets hella, hella spoilery and we speculate on what HotD S2 will bring in depth. Support the show

In this very special Hands on Episode, Merry and Clint cover the first act of the seventh book of the BEST SCI FI SERIES EVER, Persepolis Rising from the Expanse.This episode includes:Merry and Clint get legitimately choked up talking about the themes of family, mercy, humanity, and beauty. Everyone loves to hate (and love) that big idiot Santiago Singh.Clint gets to talk about Thomas Hobbes and the Leviathan, which is both waking and falling in the narrative.Merry goes long on whether punishment ships are a good idea or a bad idea (spoiler: BAD)We pour one out for Camina Drummer and her husband Saba, just the best fucking people.AVASARALA IS IN THIS PART.We give big middle fingers to Laconia, "benevolent dictatorship", and the concept of a non-human collective.Bobbie Draper. That's it. Bobbie Draper.Support the show

In this thirty-ninth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Did Jon Snow's choice to ride south to Winterfell kill the Night's Watch? What responsibility, if any, does Jon have to maintain constitutional norms and structures?Our analysis this episode includes:We go back to the Wall to discuss what unmakes a government!Discussion of whether Jon's breaking of Nights Watch norms constitutes a crossing of the Rubicon.A dramatic reading of the Shieldhall Speeches with musical accompaniment courtesy LittleWolfBird (find her patreon here)!Merry talking at length about her favorite doomed sad boi and why the show's treatment of the moment was not actually bad.Your Hands debate whether law can be used as a tool to change broken institutions.Clint does some stupid accents and talks about how the Senate sucks (rinse and repeat).Much discussion as to whether or not the Night's Watch was gonna die, and whether they had it comin'.We announce our 2024 dues drive and call for Amicus Curiae!Supplemental reading:Merry's essay: The Last Temptation of Jon Snow Pt. 1, Kill the BoyMerry's essay: The Last Temptation of Jon Snow Pt. 2, The ChoosingAdam Feldman's essay: Jon's Noble Heart and Greater DutyWhy are men obsessed with the Roman Empire?A Lawyer's Role in Contemporary Democracy, ForewardBumpers by Dr. Kavita Mudan Finn. Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this special BONUS EPISODE, we give you a recording of Merry & Clint @ Ice and Fire Con 2023 discussing one of their favorite topics: Legal Issues in the Dance of the Dragons! In this bonus recording we cover:Coups!Territorial conquest!The Hour of the Wolf!Primogeniture!The Iron PrecedentAnd more!Merry & Clint also bang their gavels a lot, and Merry makes a joke about blowing her wad. Recording and audio engineering by LittleWolfBird! LWB's Patreon. Support the show

In this thirty-eighth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: How well does Doran Martell's Water Gardens speech move the ball? Our analysis this week includes:Your Hands finally cover the Dornish plot from the perspective of Prince Doran Martell, as he tries to convince the Sand Snakes to stop saying "OK Boomer" at him.Merry puts on her best Valley Girl accent.So much food porn.We give Ellaria Sand her laurels for delivering one of the most passionate, cogent, and beautiful speeches in the series (that is entirely ignored by everyone who hears it).Clint tells everyone what it's like to be an Old Man relating to The Youths.We ask which TSwift album represents the Sand Snakes the most? Sound off in the comments. No one has any idea what will happen to Doran's plan, other than there will be blood.We analyze Doran as the grass that hides the viper, and cover how his disability covers how people perceive him. A DEFINITIVE ruling is issued as to who does the Dornish plot better: book or show. Listen to find out which we pick!Supplemental reading: Adam Feldman's essay series Water Gardens & Blood Oranges, Vol. I.Where to pay your duesPoint MadeExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-seventh episode (in a row?) of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: How does Daenerys's deal with the slavers reflect her methods of persuasion?Our analysis this week includes:Your Hands finally revisit one of the two main characters of the series, Dany, to talk about one of the most thrilling moments of the series: Dracarys!We get amazing input from our listeners as to why this moment is so iconic. Merry introduces the Art of the Trick Fuck to the ASOIAF canon, and guides us all on the various ins and outs, if you were.Clint focuses on why exactly the Good Masters are so thoroughly moronic from the prospect of a merchant and a sovereign, and brings up a very old man war dad comparison: Robert E. Lee. Instead of saying "it depends" like they usually do Learned Hands gives a definitive legal answer(!) as to whether or not Dany committed commercial fraud when she sold Drogon, but you'll have to listen to find out!(...SPOILER: don't think about that questioned with a poisoned lawyer brain, it's really bad for you so just don't do it)(...but ALSO SPOILER: no)CONTENT WARNING: Slavery, child abuse, child murder, animal abuse, animal murder, murder in general, and mentions of Jorah Mormont.BURN THEM ALL DANY, DRACARYS DRACARYS DRACARYSSupplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In which Your Hands and Special Guest Hand Dr. Shiloh Carroll discuss the 2001 Sports Jousting Epic A KNIGHT'S TALE.In this episode:We talk about Shiloh's new book, The Medieval Worlds of Neil Gaiman, and how you, the listener, can win a FREE SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK.Your Hands (and Guest) go deep into the wonderfully anachronistic verisimilitude of A Knight's Tale, a film about how naked Geoffrey Chaucer could be at any given moment.Shiloh heaps praise upon the historically accurate bits of the film, oddly assisted in their efforts by the fact that the filmmakers did not give a single shit about accuracy, like not even a little bit. Merry places the movie in its proper context of a film that intentionally and unselfconsciously draws on the media that came before it.Clint talks about Jocelyn's cleavage, and how Kate can GET IT.Everyone loves Robert Baratheon, Steve the Pirate, Mace Tyrell, and Alexander Hamilton.We rank the film against the other great sports movies of all time.Additional readingBUY SHILOH'S BOOK YOU JERKSRagman's Harbour (sic).Join the WBAIntro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-sixth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is Varys's Riddle an effective method of persuasion?Our analysis this week includes:Learned Hands finally does a FULL EPISODE on the Riddle, the thing Clint will never, ever shut up about, ever.Varys est mantainant Français. Vive la France!Merry offers her take on the Riddle as a piece of descriptive, not proscriptive, philosophy.Clint speechifies on shadows on the wall. Gotta play the hits!We evaluate Varys's discussions with Ned Stark, Tyrion Lannister, and Kevan Lannister to try to answer the question: what is his fucking deal bro?Your Hands at long last announce their official position on democracy: it's good (mostly)!Merry beats Clint to an absolutely perfect Black Sails reference. Strap in for just so, so, SO much political philosophy, shots at the Supreme Court, Succession references, and stupid french jokes. Supplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeClint's first essay on Varys's RiddleClint on NotACast, ACOK Tyrion IIExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-fifth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Was anyone at the Kingsmoot any good at political persuasion?Our analysis this week includes:The continuation of our new running series where Your Hands evaluate the persuasive argumentation skills of your favorite and least favorite ASOIAF characters.An overview of all of the reasons why political debates are terrible, awful, no good, really bad times.Merry brings her vast experience with debates and competitive speechifying to bear. What the people demanded and we have provided in spades: Clint does more shitty accents. Your Hands weigh which was more horrifying, the Kingsmoot debates or the 2016 Presidential debates.We enlist the Mighty WBA to lend their voices in support of the various Kingsmoot claimants!Supplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeExtensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In which Your Hands go in a deep dive over HBO's niche arthouse property SUCCESSION and why it fucking whips so goddamn hard.This episode includes:Extensive discussion of the Shakespearean roots of this delightfully and depressingly funny show about the absolute worst people in the world.Clint waxes poetic about his favorite ship in all of ships: GregTom,Merry defends Shiv's choices and her wardrobe,Are eyes the windows of the soul or merely face eggs? We may never know.Your Hands Debate the Kendall Question: Does he suck or does he SUCK suck?A reminder that Logan Roy, like Tywin Lannister, Is Dead.Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-fourth episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is Renly Baratheon any good at oral (arguments)?Our analysis this week includes:The beginning of a brand new running series where Your Hands evaluate the persuasive argumentation skills of your favorite and least favorite ASOIAF characters.An overview of what makes a good, bad, and indifferent oral argument.Discussion of the Copper King's strengths and weaknesses, including whether he's funny, whether he's smart, and whether he can read a room (SPOILER: no).PEACH SPEECH PEACH SPEECH PEACH SPEECHYour Hands give their extensive oral resumes. Not like that, pervs.Thorough discussion on Renly's talks with Ned, Cat, and Stannis.A Special Guest Renly Hater weighs in to say why he isn't as good as Stannis, and yes it's Frank. Renly is Luigi. Search your heart, you know it to be true.Supplemental reading: Where to pay your duesPoint MadeBumpers and extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-third episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: What are the horizontal Separations of Powers that exist in Westeros? What similarities exist between the Seven Kingdoms and the US Federal Government? What the hell does the Master of Laws even do?????Our analysis this week includes:Your Hands run down the origins and duties of all of the various Hands, Masters, Maesters, Ministers, Protectors, Guards, and officers that make up the Westerosi Central Government.We also give the Official Learned Hands Guess on what the Master of Laws actually does.Merry does what can charitably be described as the worst French accent of all time.Clint continues his debate with James Madison, America's daintiest autocrat.Extensive digressions on disaster bisexual Alexander Hamilton, the nondelegation doctrine, and Dick Cheney aka irl Tywin Lannister.Discussion of how the Faith and the Citadel play into checks and balances and separations of powers.We also update the WBA 2023 Dues Donation Drive which is ON NOW (PAY YOUR DUES)Supplemental reading: Where do pay your duesFederalist 47, and other Federalist Papers to read at your leisure.Learn other fun and interesting facts about James MadisonBumpers by Ser Ethan the Bookish.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. . None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this thirty-second episode of Learned Hands, the Official Podcast of the Westerosi Bar Association, Merry & Clint ask: Is the Seven Kingdoms a Federalist System? Which has more power, a US State or a Westerosi Realm?Our analysis this week includes:The Westerosi Seven Kingdoms are compared and contrasted with real-life federal and confederate systems back to antiquity.Your hosts have some strong words to say about James Madison, effete dork, slavery enthusiast, and the only US president to allow Canada to burn the Capitol to cinders.We evaluate the good-government bona fides of Aegon the Conquerer, Maegor the Cruel, Jaehaerys the Conciliator,  Good Queen Alysanne, Septon Barth, and others. Clint gets so amped up to talk about Federalist Papers that you can hear him vibrating with sheer glee.Maester Merry squares off in a LAWYER FIGHT against her greatest ever foe: Maester Merry.Answers to your questions about federal taxes, customs, minting, and central banking!The return of burrito analogies to explain things like the Anti-Commandeering Doctrine, the Dormant Commerce Clause, Field Preemption, and Younger Abstention (we are sorry, this is a lot). We finally update on the WBA 2023 Dues Donation Drive which is ON NOW (PAY YOUR DUES)Supplemental reading: Where do pay your duesFederalist 45, and other Federalist Papers to read at your leisure.Cold Open and Bumpers by Jimi and Ray.  Extensive audio engineering by LittleWolfBird. Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. Cold Open music composer Nico Maximilian, Audio source: Jamendo. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this VERY SPECIAL YEAR END EPISODE, Merry and Clint give you a rundown of all of the damage 2022 hath wrought and preview the New Year's Content.In this episode we:Take stock of the WBA, our podcast, our lives, and the world in general.Liberally rip off other better podcasts.Sing the praise of Secret Satin Lay out a roadmap of Learned Hands and the WBA for 2023Hit the highlights of 2022 in the world of television, with special shout outs to Better Call Saul, The White Lotus, The Old Man, and more.Do FMK for both Merry & Clint's Main Celebrity Crushes.Announce our Brand New Masters of Law, Jimi Mac & Dolorous Ray.Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In which Your Hands and Special Guest Star Wars Hand Maddie Kay Ray break down the overwhelming success of the first season of ANDOR.This episode includes:Rampant awed confusion as to how something this leftist, anti-fascist, pro-revolutionary, and flat-out great got made by freaking Disney of all companies.We compare and contrast it to HotD (yay!), The Expanse (interesting comparison!), Black Sails (which you should watch!), and Rings of Power (lol).Maddie tells us her Star Wars Story and takes on the role of Rogue One's primary champion. Merry will not suffer your Prequels slander, and anoints Andor as her favorite fantasy/sci fi of 2022.Clint is mostly just horny for Bix.EXTENSIVE DRAMATIC SPEECHIFYING. Here's Maddie's koji! Intro & Outro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this eleventh and DEFINITELY (probably) final edition of the first season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and special guest Dr. Kavita Mudan Finn wrap up the initial season of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGONIn this episode we:Ask Kavita to delve into the real-world historical and Shakespearean influences of the Dance of the DragonsExplore the highlights, lowlights, and midlights of the adaptational choices of House of the Dragon, Season1Never stop shitting on Criston Cole, the dumb jock who mistakenly thinks he's the protagonist of realityHeap endless praise on Laenor Velaryon's storyline, we stan a queer poly king. Speculate wildly on who the fuck Mushroom is, exactly?Entertain Clint's theory on who exactly Eustace gets his hot goss from (HINT: Criston).Evaluate the Green and Black Councils from the various perspectives we're given in the book and the showArgue strenuously that Fire & Blood is Good, ActuallyWonder why Ryan Condal, friend of the pod, hasn't returned our emails?Supplemental ReadingDr. Kavita on TwitterDr. Kavita's blogBlood, Love, (History) and Rhetoric and House of the DragonSupport the show

In this tenth and final edition of the first season of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint  cover Season 1 Episode 10 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Black QueenIn this episode we:Invite everyone to play Learned Hands Bingo courtesy WBA Member Jacob Hufstader! If you win we will probably not give you anything but it might be pretty cool. Detail Rhaenyra Targaryen's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Coronation DayEvaluate the Blacks response to the Greens' illegal coup, what they did right, what they did wrong, and what they probably should have thought of more.Dive deep into the dragon smorgasbord with our EXCLUSIVE WBA Dragon correspondent Sanrixian!Pass judgment on whether Aemond is guilty of Depraved Heart Murder (but not in a sexy way).Relive the highs and lows of this fascinating season of televisionClint tries to not get fired while somehow tying this episode into Mrs. Donald Trump, Jr?Merry likens the Battle Over Shipbreaker's Bay to the 2022 ALCS.Folks we are so tired. You have no idea. Excited for Season 2, but, like, in an exceptionally tired way.Supplemental reading:Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of SuccessionOur Dance Party Episode on the Black CouncilSanrixian on PatreonOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this ninth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and Special Guest Hand Kristine Kippins cover Season 1 Episode 9 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Green CouncilIn this episode we:Evaluate the good, the bad, and the suboptimal strategies and events of the Green Coup.Track Alicent Hightower's emotional journey from mourning to stressing to plotting and back to stressing SO HARD again.Celebrate Mysaria, the White Worm, for quoting not-necessarily marxist theory and listening to the Learned Hands Podcast.Pay respects to Lord Lymon Beesbury, He Tried :( .Critique Aemond Targaryen's historically and philosophically inaccurate interpretation of the line of succession.Check in with our EXCLUSIVE WBA Dragon correspondent Sanrixian on the extent of the damage to the Dragonpit. Enjoy Aegon's Wost/Best Hangover ever, where he gains absolute power, gets yelled at by a dragon, and his mom refuses to say she loves him.Appreciate Rhaenys' various girlboss power plays, from her dressing down of Alicent, to her casual war crimes, to her decision not to burninate the greens to embers.Seriously and solemnly evaluate Larys Strong's pornhub search history, and also what it says about Society. Supplemental reading:Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of SuccessionOur Dance Party Episode on the Greens CoupSanrixian on PatreonOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show

In this eighth edition of Hands on HotD, Merry and Clint and Special Guest Hand Stanford Fraser cover Season 1 Episode 8 of HBO's niche arthouse property HOUSE OF THE DRAGON - The Lord of the TidesIn this episode we:Evaluate Vaemond Velaryon's suboptimal litigation strategy and general inability to read the room.Sing the praises of our twin Rogue Princes, Daemon and Aemond Targaryen, we are sure they'll get along great.Critically analyze the Big Prophecy Twist and ask whether this was at all necessary?Do a Westerosi CLE on the concepts of res judicata, ripeness, standing, testamentary capacity, holographic wills, and dying declarations. Appreciate the lawyerly skills of Rhaenys and Rhaenyra, two gunners who never stop gunning, ever.Talk about family, life, and heartbreak in the context of Viserys I Targaryen, the Most Mid King in Westerosi History.Supplemental reading:Learned Hands Officially Legally Correct (kind of) Line of SuccessionStanford's podcast the Hot Pod ExpressOutro music courtesy Sid Luscious & The Pants. None of this should be construed as legal advice OBVIOUSLY. Support the show