Living Connected - NVC

It has been a whirl wind of time that has flown by. I was in a long term subbing gig most of January teaching 3rd grade and there was no time to edit. I did try really hard. I hope y'all have had a wonderful holiday and Happy New Years! Thank you for your support and continuing to listen to Living Connected. =)We have a special guest on Living Connected, his name is Orly. Orly has created a Listening Table in the LA area that people can come and sit to talk, vent, and be 100% authentically themselves without repercussions of judgment, advice, criticisms or blame. The Listening Table is free for anyone needing to feel heard, understood, & seen. Eric met Orly at the IIT (NVC - International Intensive Training). Later on, I messaged Orly on Instagram having my fingers crossed that he would respond and he did!! Listening is a huge part of NVC (Nonviolent Communication), meeting people where there, knowing how to give self-empathy and empathy to others, & being present with them in that moment without stories or judgments of what the other is sharing. Listening is being able to create a safe space for people to feel safe enough and trust that what they share will be held in care. Orly is doing this in his community for others and we get to talk to him how this has helped him in his journey. I absolutely love this and I hope people continue to create Listening Tables all around the world. And with that I will leave you there. As Orly says, “Thank you for listening and have a great listening day!” Resources:Organization : Freedom to ChoseIG: @Oryl'slisteningtableYoutube: Orly's Listening TableBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Probably since 2021, I had this dream to have Roxy on my podcast. And what a dream come true. I feel so grateful & honored for this opportunity to have Roxy Manning on as a guest. We talk about antiracism that also goes along with her new book with Sarah Peyton called “The Antiracist Heart”. Often times stereotypical stories like “Asian kids are good at math” will lead to children having this expectation that they are suppose to be and when they are not there is internal shame that is created. Then the support that children need are bypassed because of this stereotype. The child doesn’t even know how to ask for help. I have heard in my lifetime that “Asians are super smart and really bad drivers” and me as a kid didn’t stand up and speak up to this. Question it and ask “how do you know this and why are we stereotyping this group of people.” The more knowledge I have of this, the more I can get curious, address it & talk about it using Nonviolent Communication. These beliefs come from white supremacy culture. We put humans in a box with these stories and this impacts and affects us deeply as a collective unconsciously, subconsciously and consciously. The systems we live in today, are so corrupt & Roxy said “we want to change these suppressive systems in ways that bring us together. How do we name harm when it is happening?”I hope this episode inspires Living Connected listeners to bring about change in being more open & willing to talk about these things in our beloved communities with each other. And with that, I will leave you there. Enjoy. Resources:Books:1) The Antiracist Heart by Roxy Manning PhD & Sarah Peyton2) How to Have Antiracist Conversations By Roxy Manning PhD3) My Grandmother's Hands By: Resmaa Menakem Journal : NVC Journal that I created you can get on Amazon now in two sizes1) 5.75in X 8.25in2) 8in X 10inBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

I loved that I was able to have Sarah Peyton on the living connected podcast again. In this past year she has been writing a book with Roxy Manning. The book is called “The Antiracist Heart” and the book empowers us on how to have conversations, compassion, and a beloved community when it comes to racism. What are our blindspots? What are we not seeing when it comes to our own implicit and explicit experiences? How can we get more curious, be more open, and grow from our experiences moving forward? This episode only touches the surface on this topic. It is up to us to continue to learn and grow if we want to see change in this world. Please stay tuned Living Connected listeners as we will have Roxy on the next episode. And with that I will leave you there, let’s dive in. NVC JournalWebsite: https://sarahpeyton.com/Books:“Healing resistance: A Radically Different Response to Harm” By kazoo Haga“Trauma of Caste” By Thenmozhi Soundararajan"Your Resonant Self Mediations" By Sarah Peyton"Antiracist Heart" By Sarah Peyton & Roxy ManningPodcast: 1619 - The New York TimesBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the showSupport the show

We had thee utmost pleasure of having John Kinyon as our special guest for this episode today. I was left feeling lifted, joyous and filled with gratitude. A lot came pouring out and I had needs met for some healing and held in a deep understood way. I appreciate all of you who have been on my journey with me. And just by listening you might have healed parts of you too. I want to honor that in you as well. Raw aliveness seems to flow from my heart sometimes and I thank you all for holding space for me.For me, all parts of this journey is integrating and embodying NVC practice into my daily life. The raw vulnerable expression, attunement & awareness, the teachings, the education, the tools, the movement in the body is all encompassing the path of inner-work. In this episode we will discuss with John his steps he goes through with couples who are in conflict. There will also be the education & tools of NVC that will support the  process of mending or repairing the connection between two or more humans.John has devoted his life and career to human beings developing the ability to shift conflict to connection. John’s mentor was Marshall Rosenberg himself. The one who founded Nonviolent Communication. For over 20 years John has mediated conflicts, and developed trainings throughout the US and in different countries as well. He is a certified trainer in NVC and offers online courses and programs that focus on healing social-political & personal divides & building empathic communities.    And with that I will leave you there, I truly hope you enjoy this episode just as much as I did. Resources:Across the isle - https://johnkinyon.com/conversations-across-the-aisle/Website: https://johnkinyon.com/home/App: Mediate your LifeSOCIAL MEDIAInstagram : @john.kinyonFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/JohnBKinyon/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MediateYourLifeTrainingLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnkinyon/Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the showSupport the show

What a summer it has been. This episode was from June and it took me awhile to edit. I have been enjoying my warm weather before the cold sets in. We have made it to season 4! This podcast has been going since 2020. We have many episodes to come. Thank you all for continuing to listen and being apart of this NVC journey.We have a special guest with us today, who is dear to my heart. Her name is Jenine. She has been a big part in my teaching career. The first time she came in to the Elementary school I was working at, I clicked with her. She got me and understood my struggle with taking tests. I had a hard time passing my test to get my teaching license and Jenine gave me every resource she had so I could pass. There were many times when we could vent about our experiences in the teaching world that gave me comfort. We had this trust for each other. Eric and I got the honor of talking with Jenine about her sobriety and recovery journey. I feel so much gratitude to be able to explore this topic and I appreciate you Jenine for being open, honest and vulnerable with everyone. I always felt safe to text you for any reason. It’s a gift to know you and continue to know you. I am so so proud of you for how far you have come, to where you are in this moment, taking one day at a time.What I learned from this episode is being apart of a community that understands you, sees you, celebrates you and holds space with no judgment matters a lot. With that I will leave you there, I hope you enjoy this episode.   Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

 Eric and I discuss what it’s like to step in and or stand up for Self and or others. Keeping Nonviolent communication in mind, I think it is hard in some situations when you are caught off guard to have NVC as an automatic response. In my experience in this episode, fight or flight kicked in and I just said, “thanks,” kindly and moved on to my table or went to dance. I definitely looked at this guys wife who is a friend of mine with a face of, “I can’t believe he just said that!” At that moment I think I was searching for some support in how inappropriate that was. Now, reflecting back on this episode and I see her again, I may ask her how she felt about that…And perhaps express how uncomfortable it was for me to hear it. And I will approach this conversation with curiosity and no judgment.  These moments where I don’t stand up for myself can be learning experience to help me have a voice next time. Also, this allows me to find some self-compassion as well. I might say, “I did the best I could with my nervous system activated. It’s not like I am in these situations all the time to practice over and over so my neuro pathways aren’t built up yet, so my response isn’t how I would like it to be. AND that is okay!” Give myself grace and love. What I also noticed is that there is a certain level of attunement that we have as a collective community to pick up facial expression, body language and the choice of words from the person to truly understand how to stand in for someone. That is if we aren’t confused or frozen ourselves to be able to help the other. When we don’t help the other person that can be an opportunity to give ourselves some compassion. These are the ways we can integrate NVC when we do stand up or stand in for Self and others, which is self-empathy, finding feelings that arise in the situation and what our needs are especially in the reflection part. I will leave you with that, and hope you have some take aways from this episode. Let’s dive in.    Resources: leanin.org 50 Ways to Fight BiasBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards my cost of hosting all the episodes on BuzzSprout.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the showSupport the show

I am so thrilled to have Bryn on my podcast again. The last time she was on was back in Oct. of 2020 episode 17. Bryn has been practicing NVC over 22 years and has been my mentor, empathy buddy and teacher since I started NVC in 2018. I am honored & it’s a gift to have Bryn in my life for 5 years, knowing you Bryn has changed me in a beautiful way. Your accompaniment during hard times and happy continues to mean so much to my heart.  Today we are talking about the flow of feelings and how our feelings can change depending on the stories we have going on in our mind. The stories we tell ourselves  can affect how our feelings flow between one another. Our perception or judgements of self or others can impact our current human experiences and disrupt the flow of the true feelings, needs and connection. Bryn shares a great story by Marshall that explains this concept so well. We can shift our feelings when our judgments shift about ourselves or others. Our reality of how we feel is one way through the lens of stories or judgments and then when our stories change our feelings & reality shifts and our reality becomes different. My younger self has a story that “I am doing something wrong, I’m gonna get in trouble.” My perception comes from that place of defensiveness and those feelings are how I respond to my human experience or situation. If I didn’t have this story in my head, my heart would be in a more curious & open place and than my feelings about the present moment would be different.     I had a listener reach out to me from Canada, his name is Erich. He had asked me if I had any idea where we can find Marshall Rosenbergs original Audio tapes or CDs of his workshops. Erich did some extensive research and has come up with a bunch of resources for everyone that I am going to provide in the description below. This really met my needs for community, sharing, contribution, support & thoughtfulness & care. I want to bring NVC related stuff to our Living connected community and this helps so much. Thank you Erich for this contribution of effort and time you put into this. We all appreciate you tremendously.Resources:Spotify:  1) Marshall's Trainings 2) More Workshops & TrainingsDiscog: Vinyl and CDPuddleDancer: 18 Songs by Marshall Rosenberg $4.95Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards the hosting site for all the episodes.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcTikTok: Living Connected NVCLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to ySupport the showSupport the show

I got the chance to talk to Eric Lazarus about Activism. How do we use NVC in situations that we want to stand up for. I know for me there are several different things that I would like to see change, when it comes to teacher, student & parent support. My main take away from this episode was having the skill to have curiosity questions & curiosity listening. Regardless if the person you are talking to has a different view of a situation or a law or rules or the way the government is ran, we can listen and find values or needs. Give empathy, if it is needed. When we want to propose change in our communities, churches, schools, cities, governments, we start by coming from a place in our hearts of what we want to see change. We give personal experiences and ask questions that can hit home or can be touching for someone to read or watch. How can we make this world a better place for everyone. Mahatma Gandhi “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change” Or the common one we often hear is “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Activism I can only imagine can look in so many different ways. The root word of activist is the latin Actus “a doing, a driving force.” The suffix ist is used to refer to a person who practices or hold certain values. The word was first used when Sweden in 1915 when people advocating for the end of the World War 1.As much as it’s frustrating to be part of a school system where a lot of the trauma students have is coming from their home environment only I can be the change to start something in a big or small way. My contribution to this change is to actively listen and empathize with students when they are upset, angry and or having a conflict with one another. It can truly be overwhelming to think about “how can I stop parents to not be incarcerated” “How can parents work on themselves to be better and not be in jail” This is the reality a lot of schools are dealing with, which is; students with trauma which leads to trauma that comes from their environment and their parents. Both student and parent don’t have the support that they need to accompany them in healing unresolved trauma. My impossible thinking is that the root of all this is beyond teachers ability to help. Instead of being overwhelmed by that over arching question, I want to rephrase that and ask “In what ways can I make a difference to these students today?”I hope living connected listeners that you have one take away from this episode. Or many you end up constructing a take away of your own that was inspired by our conversation. I know it stimulated a lot inside of me and I am curious what came up for you. I would love to share your thoughts on the podcast.  Resources:Be the Change QuoteDavid Richo - When the Past is PresentYouTube Recording: American ExperienceAmy WesterVeltEmail Eric at the bottom of this website:  https://electionsec.org/Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HEREContributions go towards the hosting site for all the episodes.CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to ySupport the show

Eric and I got the honor of talking with Anne and Benson who have been in the process of inventing AI’s (Artificial Intelligence or robots) that are capable of teaching Nonviolent Communication. As well as finding a way to build a robot that has the ability to give empathic responses. My main take-away from this episode is that these robots won’t be replacing other humans. These robots will support humans in their growth, and learning of NVC so that when we are connecting with humans we can communicate with more ease. The robots would allow for us humans to practice and grow our feelings and needs vocabulary. The robots will also help translate judgments into feelings and needs so we can have a better understanding of what lies beneath our criticisms, blame, judgments or diagnosis, & evaluations. This gives us an opportunity to bring what we learned into the real world. I believe with a lot of data collection the robot will give strategies and offer do-able requests of Self and or for the other person. In my thought, the more data we can collect the better responses the robot can have. In the book Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson he uses the word broken and changed it to experiences and trauma. He says on page 289 “ Our experiences and traumas is the source of our common humanity, the basis for our shared search for comfort, meaning and healing. Our shared vulnerability and imperfection nurtures and sustains our capacity for compassion.” He goes on to say that “he never fully considered that being “broken” is what makes us human. Sometimes we’re fractured by the choices we make; sometimes we’re shattered by the things we would never have chosen”Being apart of this episode and reading what Bryan said, really made me think about embracing our humanness. We are all so unique and connected and I want to hold on to that. Our human experiences are real and at this point, no robot can deeply feel and be impacted by those experiences. Humans share universal needs of belonging, meaning and healing, when robots are just a collection of data, inputs and algorithms that compute into a variety of results. As Anne said, “robots replacing humans is so far away in the future.” When I hear that I worry that in order for that not to happen, humans need a way to tap into something higher in brain capacity than what robots can offer so that we humans don’t become extinct.Resources from Anne & Benson:Our new story-based workshop on using ChatGPT for wellbeing and creativity:https://www.emotionalhealthessentials.com/i-humanHere is a demo of our non-violent communication support AI:https://www.emotionalhealthessentials.com/technologyBecome a Supporter of the show CLICK HERECONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Eric and I are talking about honesty or scary honesty today. To me, honesty is speaking from the heart or fully speaking your truth. Focusing on what is alive in your heart and sharing courageously.  Needs that might come up when sharing honesty could be freedom, sincerity, fairness, care, compassion, vulnerability and or truthfulness. What does fully speaking your truth mean and look like to you? What do we hope for when we speak our truth? How do we hold space, give kindness for ourselves after we have spoken from the heart? How do we stay calm, or grounded & not activated in our nervous system? Are we willing and open to hear the response from the other person - What if the response is in defensiveness, criticism or blame? I watch a video of Marshall Rosenberg talk about honesty and an example he used was “I feel scared because I want to maintain the quality of relationship that we have…” I added the feeling of fear “…and I fear what I have to say might disturb our relationship.” Sometimes sharing feelings first humanizes our human experience. Which in it of itself is a vulnerable thing to do, to share feelings. Then the other person can possibly relate to those feelings and bring some warmth into their body or into the conversation.Marshall said “we send something out beautifully & jackal ears pick up something ugly. We just develop our ability to enjoy it when it happens.” There was a time when he had to give empathy eight times because the enemy image was so strong, letting go of that enemy image was hard for that person. People often times need empathy before they can hear our honesty. Which again, is hard because we so deeply want them to be in a space of openness and resourced enough to be able to hear our heart.This topic is huge and could be discussed at length. And perhaps, Living Connected listeners you have some Ah-Ha moments, thoughts or curious questions that you would like to share as well, please let me know. I truly hope you enjoy listening to this episode.Become a Supporter of the show CLICK HERECONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Eric and I had the honor of speaking with Dr. Melanie Sears. She has been practicing NVC for 30+ years and worked along side Marshall Rosenberg. We get to explore the healthcare system that is in place in the United States. Dr. Melanie Sears specifically talks about her experience with patients in the psychiatric facility and how patients are treated. She has been a nurse for 35 years and has her PhD in Transpersonal Psychology. "Transpersonal Psychology roots back over 100 years ago. William James laid out principles of so many psychological approaches. Transpersonal psychology could be seen as an attempt to understand the different states of consciousness - and the different views of reality. Transpersonal Psychology attempted to integrate the ideas of eastern spiritual traditions such as buddhism, Hindu and yoga, they examined the “higher” states of consciousness, and “higher” stages of human development."  With all the years of  experience and wisdom she has, Dr Melanie Sears has written two books, the first on is called “Humanizing Health Care: Creating Cultures of Compassion With Nonviolent Communication”. The second book is called “Choose You Words: Harnessing the Power of Compassionate Communication to Heal and Connect”. NVC can be a game changer in how programs are run and how we connect with patients or students in different situations. What it seems to come down to is empathy. Empathizing with patients and students and then getting empathy for yourself as well. Also knowing how to give empathy to others and who you have for support to give you empathy when needed. I found myself aligning with Dr. Mel’s work when it came to my job. I appreciated the connection a lot and long for more and more systems in our society to use Nonviolent Communication.  Resources:Transpersonal PsychologyBooks By Dr. Melanie Sears: Humanizing Health Care Choose Your Words: Compassionate CommunicationMore Videos with Melanie SearsBooks By: Sura Hart: Compassionate Classroom Respectful Parents & Respectful KidsCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! 2023 has begun! Eric and I get to talking about the transformation of the relationship with my dad. How the needs of belonging to a family is mourned and may continued to be mourned on every special day that is typically spent with family. Each time we mourn, acknowledge and witness that pain, we are healing a little bit of ourselves. I have gone through this process of being accompanied & witness in my pain and have found peace with what is. The what is, is that my dad and I have found our own tradition for thanksgiving that we came up with together. We are making the best of it, given the situation at hand. NVC has truly been a wonderful way for me to heal and acknowledge the hurt and pain that I feel inside my heart. I hope the same for all of you living connected listeners out there too that NVC gives you this way to witness yourselves & hold yourselves with a deep compassion. I want you to know that I see you, hear you and your not alone. Thank you all so much for being apart of my journey and growth. I appreciate all of you so much. CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

It is winter break and I am able to get to editing more. My goal is to not be putting episodes out once a month. I am hoping I will have some more time during work to work on my podcast as I am not at the Behavior job anymore. If you have any questions about expectations and would like to send me an email please I would love to hear from you. Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comI am happy to be doing this episode with Denise today. We have a juicy topic for us that will probably end up being several episodes. We are going to explore or what Denise said was play around with ‘expectations’. The definition that Denise used in group was, an expectation is a belief that someone will or should achieve something. Often times with the feelings that come up with demand energy of expectations of us, ourselves or someone else could arise in shame, frustration, disappointment and or feel stress that we have failed or let someone down. Perfectionism could come into place, where we self-blame because we didn’t do it correctly.  The demand energy could look like the tone of energy of something being said by someone or the words that we use toward ourselves or others - such as shoulds, or have to’s. This demand energy doesn’t allow for choice, autonomy, self-empowerment and or freedom etc. I did mention in this episode a couple books that used the model collaborative problem solving and the first book that describes this method is called Lost and Found. All the books are by the same person. I will put the books in the references for you incase you are interested. I definitely believe that NVC can be integrated and used along side of these methods that are used in school systems. And in my thought putting NVC with any modality only strengthens the ability to connect on deeper levels. I know the topic of expectations is loaded and I hope that we will get to examples that you listeners can relate to. This episode uses examples that I have noticed in the schools I have work in. I think that it also pertains to how we saw expectations as a child growing up as well. And maybe it brings up some of those expectations that are engrained in us from when we were small humans. I know it has brought up aliveness in me. Let’s dive in. Resources:LOST AND FOUND BY: Ross GreeneLOST AT SCHOOL BY: Ross GreeneTHE EXPLOSIVE CHILD BY: Ross GreeneCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Today Eric and I talk about my experience in this 6 month position I have as the Student behavioral coordinator. My position is a case load of 7 or 8 students that have a hard time regulating. They flip their lid which means they are not in their frontal cortex anymore and reacting from a trauma place of fight or flight response. Or another way to say is that the amygdala is firing & reacting to a situation which is sending signals to our nervous system that is processing it as fear or a threat.A lot of times when we know students well, we can see the behaviors in the body that show us that they are getting to that point of reacting in a trauma response or just flipping their lid. When we can see this shift in the body and behavior, we can have them take a break and learn the skills to find a safe and calm body before it gets to the point of escalation. I am still getting to know students and what that looks like for each student. There are times when I jump into a situation where the student is already escalated and I need to find ways to regulate and help them find a place to regulate. Sometimes it’s just best not to say anything. Using very few words as possible. There are so many elements that go into a situation like the one I describe. I have my perspective and others have theirs. Who knows, if we didn’t have the blow up in the morning would the blow up happen anyway at some point during the day. We just don’t know. If we knew for sure it was the grief could we have attended to the situation differently. So many things to reflect on as I think back on this situation at work. I am giving my self some grace and compassion as I learn my role and my voice in this position. Along with getting to know the students and building that solid foundation of trust and safety of care and kindness. Resources:leanin.org CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

BEST SUMMER of 2022!! Thank you ALL for being patient while I soak in my summer! HUGSIn this episode Jeremey and I have a conversation about how we use NVC in our workplace and in our families. The situations that come up in the workplace for me were making sure students are listening and ready to learn, including everyone and respect the pro-nouns of others in how they want to be identified and exploring students needs in an Acro-Yoga setting. We all have many different cultures and dynamics in how our families function and operate. NVC has helped me see underneath the worry that my dad has for me or how Jeremey’s dad has for his mom. When we can see the bigger picture of the needs underneath we can follow those with a deeper sense of compassion. I hope you enjoy this conversation with me and one of our Living connected listeners Jeremey. Please don’t hesitate to email or record a voice memo for me to listen and attach it to the email I would love to hear from you. The email is in the description of every episode at the bottom. Let’s dive into this exploration!! Resources:Book: Never Spilt the DifferenceCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Tisse, Amy and I talk about Parts Theater and we actual go through a scenario that happened when I was visiting my dad. Parts Theater is a mind blowing experience that can be really touching and moving. I got choked up a bit because it really hit home when sinking into those feelings and needs during each part of me that was being role played. I haven’t really had a chance to allow myself to feel those deep feelings and process them fully. Tisse and Amy gave me space to do that. I have thee most gratitude for both of them. I do feel healed in a way, even in this mini session of what Parts Theater looks / sounds like. I have this ease and at peace with the part of me that was sad and the other part that had compassion. Having this healed part of me, I might be able to express both parts of how I was feeling to my dad. Parts Theater is a way to express two needs that are happening inside of you and see those two needs role played by two people. Amy takes you through the steps of how she breaks down Parts Theater into 4 stages. Amy mentioned after the recording that it was so interesting how much deeper Parts Theater can go just by guessing at my feelings and needs. And that Parts Theater might go a little faster than coaching because you can make changes quickly with the directors input and see the process shift. Parts theater offers a different approach than coaching does. Both has its benefits. And it’s so fascinating that we can get at what is true for us, from different angles. Amy has been offering Parts Theater workshops and has spent a lot of time and effort changing and modifying this process to include NVC. I had such a remarkable hour with both Tisse and Amy and I am filled with so much thankfulness bc I get to explore NVC with two really amazing humans.Resources:Tisse: How of HappyPROMO CODE (all caps): LIVINGCONNECTEDAmy Whicker:Connection CollaboratoryCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

I see a lot of behaviors in schools that are contributed to the trauma or environment that students are experiencing. I work sometimes one-on-one with this students who are going through a lot at home. I have seen a range of behaviors from throwing chairs, running off campus, screaming, making silly noises, kicking, pulling hair, or spitting on you, withdraw or shut down, you name it. All students whether they are on the autism spectrum or just have a lot of trauma or just having a rough day, they all have needs just like we do as an adult. It can be really hard to accompany these students when each one may need something different. I don’t see students as a bad person or think that they are trying to get attention, I get curious and I truly care about what they are needing. I am there to support them in any way that I can. If we bring our judgements to the table then it makes it really hard to be present with our students. I remember that they need so much compassion, grace, kindness, love and a listening ear because some may not get that at home.  NVC has helped me so much with meeting these students where they are at and having the language to create a safe dialogue with them when they are escalated or when they have calmed down. Most often then not, I am empathically listening and giving them a reflection on what they said so they know I understand them and believe their experience. Believing ones experience doesn’t mean I agree, it means I am believing their experience as their truth. Once I can do this, we can work towards problem solving together or resolving a conflict using feelings and needs and do-able requests. Adinah and I get to talk about what is going on with student behavior and how we can use a different lens to understand in a deeper way what is going on for these students. Trauma can have a huge impact on students. Trauma can impact the classroom and teachers. I have witnessed how trauma affects learning and growth in the classroom and I hope that I can make a small change in the way I communicate to hold space for these students.   Resources:Adinah Barlow WebsitePodcast – Project Relationship YouAdinah Barlow Facebook 1) Paul D Maclean - Triune brain theory 2) Book: The Gift of Fear - By: Gavin de Becker3) Book:  Fostering Resilient Learners (Strategies for creating a Trauma-Sensitive Classroom)By: Kristin Souers with Pete Hall. 4) Video: Red Table Talk - Jada Smith, Deeyah Khan, Dr. Ibram X. KendiCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Marianne and I talk about conflicts and fights and how some conflict can be healthy because it can lead to trust and safety with that person. There is a discernment when understanding the healthy kind of conflict and understanding when conflict is unhealthy. We talk about some strategies that can be healthy for two people in a conflict, such as self-connection, meeting them where they are, follow through with the request for a break and coming back to mend or repair in the time frame that was requested. Being able to maybe in the smallest of ways connect with ourselves and create space in our heart to attend to the parts of us that are triggered and or attend to the inner wounded child is a healthy strategy when we are in conflict with someone. Which is easier said than done. There is also the other person who you are in conflict with who is also sitting with their parts of themselves that are triggered too. It can be so hard to be the one to meet them where they are because we deeply want to be heard and we just may not get that from them in that moment. It’s so important to know that we have outside resources to feel heard by others incase we are not heard by the person we are in conflict with. When we are resourced we have the capacity to meet the other person where they are. Conflict is never easy to navigate, it can be very delicate at times and what sucks is that we gotta be in conflict to continue to learn how to navigate it. I am constantly with my dad learning and growing with each and every conflict we have. The repairs we do have, the apologies are just enough for the start of some trust. for me anyway. I don’t know about him. I hope you enjoy!Resources:Marianne’s Information: Website: https://cupofempathy.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/CupofEmpathy/featuredBook: Laser Therapy - A Clinical Manual By Jennifer A. Blahnik & David W. RindgeCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

SEASON 3!! We have had this podcast for 2 years now and I want to thank all of you who have contributed by listening and passing along this podcast to others. My utmost gratitude to y'all HUGS!!!Today Eric and I talk about my freak out. I am having surgery on my carpal tunnel.  What does your body do when your freaked out? My body just goes into this panic mode where everything goes fast, I can’t stop my brain from racing about all the things. Do you have support when it comes to moments of freaking out? What tools might you have? Just after this recording I called an old co-worker of mine who worked at the surgery center, he’s like an uncle to me. He talked to me about my surgery because he has had it done bilaterally as well. He is also a nurse like my mom and I found comfort in his words and knowledge. He talked to me straight up and gave me all of the tips that I will need to know. He walked me through the going to sleep process as I feel very fearful of that. Then he told me what I should do when I start to wake up and look around and maybe look at my hands wiggle my fingers ever so slightly. Knowing all of this stuff about pre-op and recovery helps my brain prepare for what to expect so it doesn’t feel like the unknown. He also reassured me that I will manage this and he had confidence that I will be okay. He even was prepared to take care of me at the place he was staying. That made me feel so good. Even though i’m not having surgery in his town it was so sweet to know he was gonna be there for me. I constantly and truly reach out to people that I trust and feel safe with to help regulate my system in times of need. This choosing of supportive people makes a huge difference in how you are witnessed and accompanied. I hope you enjoy an episode of empathy and what it is like to accompany another when they are having a freak out and a wave of emotions. Eric does a great job of reflecting, finding needs, hearing me and holding space while witnessing my discomfort in all this. My experience going forward might be feeling a little more ease after talking with Eric. We shall see.   CONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show

Eric and I talk about my role as a participant in a practice group and what he experiences as a facilitator.At the end of this episode Eric and I debriefed, and I finally figured out why I had a hard time answering the questions about the Power-over or authority in different styles of facilitators. I kept saying personality and that wasn’t the word I was looking for. It was how a group is defined. Is the group, class oriented which means it has a teacher and everyone listens and the participation is less. Or is the group given an opportunity for participants to practice NVC with the facilitator guiding participants in the direction of NVC. When I heard authority in our conversation, I figured out that it was because there is a teacher role in place which makes it seem as though I am the listener and not much of a participant. I feel conflicted when to speak up and when I choose not to. There are times when I feel triggered in a group and I don’t say anything. There are times when I do speak up and I don’t feel heard and then I don’t speak up about that. Am I minimizing my needs or am I trying to hold the groups needs as well? What happens when we have multiple people in a group who are triggered or stimulated and we all don’t speak up? For me, it’s so hard because I don’t want to take away from the group. What if others need it more than me? Or is it because I am not sure I feel fully safe or have trust in the group or facilitators that I will be held with care. Many of you may attend a practice group and perhaps some of you may have come across these thoughts as well. I would love to know your experiences that you have had in practice groups. I am not well versed in different groups so I don’t have much experience. I also want to hold myself accountable for not speaking up when I probably should have. It feels super uncomfortable sometimes to speak up when I know it may create conflict. I want to give heads up too to those who have experienced any type of abuse or trauma because I took a self-defense class and I talk a little about Human Trafficking. I just want you to know that I do hold all of you with care. I want to bring awareness that this could reactivate a trigger in some of you. When I was at the self-defense class they also mentioned that being there could re-trigger some people. My goal is to bring more awareness to what is going on, in hopes that we can save lives. If I am able to bring on Ryan to talk more about self-defense I would hope that this could help parents, teenagers, adults and or anyone who has experienced or not experienced this or may have children who may be at risk. There are a lot of feelings and needs that go into things like this. I can’t wait to explore that. ResourcesAll Things PossibleVideo about sex trafficking in the Martial arts studio in OregonCONTACT INFORMATION:Email: Livingconnected.nvc@gmail.comInstagram: livingconnectednvcLiving Connected Facebook PageWebsite: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1153175Music is brought to you by: https://www.purple-planet.com/Support the show