But Really, How Are You?

This is the final episode for this season! Endings can bring up mixed emotions: sadness, excitement, grief, anticipation, and gratefulness to name a few. Some endings happen intentionally and some are without choice. Whether that’s leaving a job, ending a relationship, selling a home, or even moving, we can end well by intentionally thinking how we would like to exit. Ending well makes room for new beginnings.In episode 40, we speak with Debbie Laaser on ending well and starting new beginnings. She shares how to recognize when it may be time to end a season, the emotions that may arise, and how to do it with intentionality. This emptying out process creates room for what’s next in our lives. When we feel stuck in our current circumstances, Debbie explains that sometimes it’s about making the next right choice, rather than figuring out the entire plan. It is through listening to ourselves that we can know when to move on and how to discover what will truly give us a sense of joy and fulfillment.If you are trying to figure out how to end well or what may be next, this is a great episode for you! Thanks for joining us this season on But Really, How Are You?Key TakeawaysDebbie’s thoughts about the topic -- Ending wellSome beliefs that come along with ending things or being at the stand-still for herWhat she thinks people feel when they are on a stand-still or stuckOn knowing when to change thoughts and beliefs vs. changing what is happening in lifeBeliefs that influence decisions in life for herOn the importance of paying attention to emotions and their messageDebbie’s story on moving on and finding joyThe list that Debbie recommends to aid in finding joyHer thoughts on how to end things wellKnowing when to end a relationship and how to end it in a healthy way for herOn sadness as a healthy part of ending thingsThe benefit of ending things well for her in the long runHer view on the next small steps to pay attention to ending things wellA conversation on finding the next right house and denying self of joyLessons she learned from the book Big MagicHer belief that helped her find joyCorryAnn’s final thanks to close season 1LinkDebbie Laaser on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/debra-laaser-5b640514/BookBig Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24453082-big-magicBio:Debbie Laaser, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and was involved in recovery with her husband, Mark, for over thirty years. After Mark’s passing in 2019, she became the Director of Faithful & True. Debbie has facilitated therapy groups and counseled relationally betrayed wives for over 20 years. She is the author of Shattered Vows and co-author with Mark of Seven Desires and A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples.  Debbie’s recent research project, “Posttraumatic Growth in Relationally Betrayed Women” was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Over the past few years, there has been growing popularity around the practices of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga. Curious about the life changing effects these practices had on so many, researchers began to question if there really was scientific evidence to support these practices. Dr. Sara Lazar was one of these individuals who wanted solid evidence that these practices produced changes in the brain.In Episode 39, we discuss with Dr. Sara Lazar about her research in the effects of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga. She shares about specific areas of the brain that these practices affect, and how they truly reduce our brain's response to things like stress and pain. Dr. Lazar shares that these benefits go beyond the individual by helping to cultivate greater compassion for others as well. Listen to this episode if you want to learn how mindfulness, meditation, and yoga impact your emotional well-being!Key TakeawaysA little bit about Sara and her workThe important structures of the brain that she found through her neuro-imaging researchSome brain areas that follow the default mode network as explained by SaraHer view on what brain area is affected by stress and howWhat she found out in her researchWhat types of meditation correlates with better outcomesHer research findings on reducing symptomsHer research on pain and how people experience it How she thinks mindfulness affects pain and its applicability to chronic pain She talks about mindfulness in laborHer study on fear conditioning concerning the pain that people experienceThe effects of doing meditation frequently for herHer view on practicing mindfulness with movementHer explanation on how yoga affects the structures of the brainHer study on TaichiHow yoga helps in developing self-compassion and other resources for herHow she thinks yoga can lead to developing compassion for othersHer opinion on how meditation and other practices build better resilienceHow body awareness ties with yoga and other practices and its importance for herHer recommendations on how people can begin their yoga journeyHer piece of mind on incorporating sensory deprivation in mindfulnessHer tips on doing self-compassion and equanimity  LinkLazar Lab - https://scholar.harvard.edu/sara_lazar/homeGreen Circle Initiatives - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/but-really-how-are-youAppAs Well - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en&gl=USBio:Sara W. Lazar, PhD is an Associate Researcher in the Psychiatry Department at Massachusetts General Hospital and an Assistant Professor in Psychology at Harvard Medical School. The focus of her research is to elucidate the neural mechanisms underlying the beneficial effects of yoga and meditation, both in clinical settings and in healthy individuals. She is a contributing author to Meditation and Psychotherapy (Guilford Press). She has been practicing yoga and mindfulness meditation since 1994. Her research has been covered by numerous news outlets including The New York Times, USA Today, CNN, and WebMD, and her work has been featured in a display at the Boston Museum of Science.

When emotions arise, oftentimes we try to figure out how to fix them, rather than asking what they are trying to tell us. However, our emotions are not separate from or intelligence or logic. In fact, emotions are messengers telling us about what we may need or events to pay attention to. In Episode 38, we speak with Karla McLaren on the purpose of emotions. She explains the importance of connecting with them and how it benefits our well-being. Karla dives into the specific messages that anger, sadness, grief, anxiety, frustration, happiness and hope are telling us. Karla also researches empathy, and she shares her model of how true empathy works. By the end of this episode, you will learn that emotions aren’t something that need to be fixed, but instead they need to be understood. If you want to grow in your understanding of emotions, this is the episode for you! Key Takeaways        Karla’s work and the things that she doesHer explanation on what emotions are and what it tellsHow she thinks emotions are related to intelligence and logicOn connecting with emotionsThe benefits of investigating emotions for herHer view on how emotions workThe effects of working in an unhealthy work or social environment for herSharing her communication practices for workers to create small areas of engagementHer view on what empathy is Her explanation of the six aspects model of empathyHer opinion on what sadness and grief are and what it tells usWhat frustration vs anger is for herHow can people work on handling anger for herWhat hope and happiness are for herHow she thinks understanding emotions help us deal with life differentlyHer four families of emotions to knowing emotionsHow understanding emotions helps in handling problems for herHow she thinks people tune in to empathy despite feeling fatigueThe message that she wants to leave with the listenersLinkKarla McLaren on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karla-mclaren-m-ed-17b947a2/Karla McLaren on Twitter - https://twitter.com/KarlaMcLarenKarla McLaren Website - https://karlamclaren.com/As Well App - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en_IN&gl=USGreen Circle Initiatives Website - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/ BookPractices for Embracing Anxiety by Karla McLaren M.Ed. -  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52079401-practices-for-embracing-anxietyPower of Emotions at Work by Karla McLaren M.Ed. - coming out in August 2021Bio:Karla McLaren, M.Ed. is an award-winning author, social science researcher, and empathy pioneer. Her lifelong work focuses on her grand unified theory of emotions, which revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens startling new pathways into self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy.Karla is the author of Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of this Vital Emotion (2020), The Dynamic Emotional Integration® Workbook (2018), The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill (2013), and many audio learning programs and online courses.

This week’s episode is the second part of The Enneagram mini-series. This tool is useful for understanding ourselves, our roles, how we relate to one another, and how we find our place in the world.In Episode 37, we  explore with Leslie Root how the enneagram affects our relationships. We will learn about the positives and pitfalls of each enneagram type, and how we can deepen our relational understanding with each particular personality type, growing greater compassion towards those around us. This translates directly to our relationship with our children, and Leslie gives parents some great advice as they navigate family life. If you are interested in learning how the enneagram can help improve your relationships, give this episode a listen! Key Takeaways        What Leslie does and incorporating enneagram in her workWhat made her choose enneagram in her practiceOn understanding how enneagram types helps in forming relationshipsWhat the attachment theory isWhat enneagram types she thinks pair up togetherHer view on the positive and pitfalls of enneagram typesOn wings, instinct, and subtypes in getting enneagram type variationsHer advice to do a discovery session with experts in knowing the enneagram typeHer description of the nine enneagram typesHer view on building relationships through understanding the enneagram typesWhen she thinks the enneagram type fully evolvesHow enneagram affects love relationships for herOn enneagram types as the shortcut in understanding people and relationshipsResources she recommendsAbout her online workshop in discovering enneagram typesLinkLeslie Root on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/lrootEnneagram unlimited on Facebook - https://web.facebook.com/groups/318602159249453/?_rdc=1&_rdr BookThe wisdom of the enneagram by Russ Hudson – https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/311053.The_Wisdom_of_the_Enneagram PodcastLeslie Root Podcast - http://leslierootcounseling.com/podcast Bio:Leslie Root LMFT is a certified sex and love addiction, RLT, PIT, Enneagram trained therapist who loves to work with clients on discovering their true north in life and love relationships. In addition to her therapy work, Leslie trains coaches and therapists on using the enneagram in their work and personal lives. To learn more about Leslie and her program offerings feel free to visit her website at leslierootcounseling.com or join the enneagram facebook group at facebook.com/groups/enneagramunlimited

From the moment a child is born, they are shaped by the world outside themselves. However, if you look at a young child, it is evident that they have their own unique personality. Because of this, various personality typing tools have evolved to help a person understand one’s self and others better. The Enneagram has its roots in ancient tradition, and has become a modern way to synthesize various personality types. The Enneagram outlines only nine personality types; however, this seemingly simple system is quite complex when you look below the surface. In Episode 36, we invited Enneagram Coach Ramona Reid to provide a broad overview of the Enneagram types. Ramona shares the importance of the Enneagram, how groups of Enneagram types operate in similar ways, and how we can approach understanding our own Enneagram type. Whether this is familiar or your first time hearing about the Enneagram , this episode will provide you with a better understanding of yourself and others. Key TakeawaysRamona’s journey to getting into the enneagramHer view on what enneagram isOn understanding enneagram for emotional wellbeingHow she correlates somatic experience of emotion and the enneagram typesHer explanation on the nine enneagram types according to the centres of intelligenceHow she distinguishes what enneagram type a person isHer recommended resources on the enneagramHer view on understanding the enneagram types to help people understand things betterHow she uses enneagram to analyze what a person needs in a situationHow she uses enneagram in relationshipsHow enneagram helps in searching for life’s purpose or meaning for herLinksRamona Reid on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramona-reid-103187b1/Ramona Reid on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rooreid/Enneagram Institute - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/Holistic Revolution Radio Shows - http://www.mynashvillecenter.com/Green Circle Initiatives - https://www.greencircleinitiatives.com/but-really-how-are-youBookThe Body Keeps the Score by  Bessel van der Kolk M.D. - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-scoreThe Brain-Based Enneagram by Jerome D. Lubbe - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51977642-the-brain-based-enneagramThe Honest Enneagram by Sarajane Case - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52152562-the-honest-enneagramThe Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/311053.The_Wisdom_of_the_EnneagramPodcastThe Sleeping at Last Podcast - https://sleepingatlast.podbean.com/Enneagram Worldwide - https://enneagramworldwide.com/ AppAs Well - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.greencircleinitiatives.aswell&hl=en&gl=US

Oftentimes, when we think of being creative, we associate it with a form of art or creating a product. But being a creative person is more about how we think than what we produce. And living a creative life can affect every aspect from relationships, to problem solving, or self expression.  In this episode, we talk with Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones about creativity and how it impacts our emotional well-being. She helps define what everyday creativity is and how it can change the way we view life. Creativity is something that we can practice and grow in, and through this also grow as a person. Creativity can help us find challenging solutions or transition during big life changes. Getting in touch with our creative side can help us get in touch with our inner landscape. Give this episode a listen to learn more!Key TakeawaysA little about Terri and her work What creativity is for herTerri’s definition of everyday creativityHow creativity crosses psychology and wellness for herHow she sees life without creativityChanging people internally through creativity for herOn the importance of opening up to creativityUsing creativity in teaching psychology or working with people for herThe effects of living creatively to a person’s well-being for herOn creativity in relationshipsHer idea of helping people through creativity to move in different stages of lifeOn creativity as a productHow to discover creativity for herHer view on using creativity to overcome difficultiesOn mindfulness creativity and collaborationHow she uses creativity to make changes in lifeHer opinion on creating yourself through creativityTerri’s tips on opening the creativity boxHer view on starting simple with creativity On using meditation and sounding Her thoughts on everyone’s creative potentialLinkDr. Terri Goslin-Jones Website - https://terrigoslin-jones.com/Dr. Terri Goslin-Jones on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/terri-goslin-jones-ph-d-981438/Bio:In my private practice as a workplace psychologist, I work with individuals and groups. I also work as a psychology professor and teach coursework and supervise research on creativity studies.  My business mission is to Discover the Wonder of People at Work™. My core belief is that work becomes more meaningful when creativity is nurtured through the expression of a person’s unique gifts, talents, and perspectives. My coaching creates a path for growth, change, and personal renewal. Prior to consulting, I spent my career working as a Director / VP of Human Resources.Personal Interests:  I am passionate about living a life that is meaningful, authentic, creative and will make a difference to my family, friends, clients and colleagues. I am committed to family life, expressive arts, gardening, and a love for life-long learning, physical fitness, spirituality, and international travel.  Education: Ph.D., Psychology, Saybrook University, Pasadena, CA Dissertation focus: Creativity and the Workplace M.A., Personnel and Counseling, Miami University-Ohio B.A., Psychology, Western Michigan University 

We often think of emotions as experiences of the mind, but our body has visceral sensations -- a body feeling -- for every emotion. When you are anxious, your stomach may feel in a knot. You may feel a flutter with a romantic touch of your hand. Or when you’re angry your chest gets tight. Our experiences may be different, but we all have visceral sensations for each emotion. In Episode 34, we speak with Danielle Braun-Kauffman who is a marriage and family therapist and is trained in Satir Systemic Transformational Therapy. Danielle explains how family of origin and past experiences affect the way we react and deal with present day relationships, and for women in particular, how they experience labor and the postpartum period. One of Danielle’s main goals is to help women reconnect to their body and the visceral sensations their bodies experience during emotional events. She frequently works with postpartum depression and anxiety, and explains how she helps women work through these issues. Tune in to learn more!Key TakeawaysDanielle’s experiences and her career as a counselorWhat qualifies as being traumatic for herHer definition of complex traumaHow trauma affects a person for herThe interconnectivity of emotion and physiological sensationOn ACES concerning prenatal and postpartum traumaDanielle talks about pregnancy and having a birth planHow she thinks past experiences affect postpartum anxiety and depressionHer advice on how to work through feelings or fearHer advice on learning how to heal and be embodied in pregnancy   BookThe body keeps the  score by Bessel A. van der Kolk, M.D. - https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/06/20/the-body-keeps-the-score-van-der-kolk/LinksDanielle Braun-Kauffman on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielle-braun-kauffman-abb985101/?originalSubdomain=caDanielle Braun-Kauffman’s Website - https://www.reposetherapy.com/about-us/meet-the-repose-team/danielle-braun-kauffmanSelf Compassion - https://self-compassion.org/ Bio:Danielle Braun-Kauffman is a Registered Clinical Counselor with the BC Association of Clinical Counselors. She has been working in the field of psychotherapy since 2005.  She has been trained as a clinical supervisor through the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy supervision course.  She acted as clinical supervisor to both practicum and internship students at Trinity Western University in the Marriage and Family Therapy MA program for 8 years.  Currently she owns, operates and clinically supervises a team of 7 associate therapists and intern students through her work at Re.Pose Therapy. She has completed level 1 & 2 at the Satir Systemic Transformational Therapy, and she is a trauma sensitive yoga therapist.As continued education, research and supervision is a core value of hers, Danielle continues to be trained extensively in the services she provides.

Societies over time have held different beliefs about how to look at the self and how to approach health and healing. In our westernized society, we frequently isolate the body and our physical nature when we look at health. However, in doing so, we ignore the interrelated nature of our mental, emotional, and spiritual parts and their combined impact on our health.In this episode, we talk with Shannon Myers, an integrated medicine provider. She explains that our whole being is interconnected, and through seeing ourselves this way, we gain a better picture of what it means to be healthy and alive. Through this lens, Shannon shares what can cause both physical and mental illness, how we can approach healing, and what resources are available to us. Give this episode a listen to hear how interconnected we are as humans! Key TakeawaysA little bit about Shannon and what keeps her occupiedThe interconnectedness of the body and emotional wellbeingOn trauma: what causes it, its effects on health, and the healing modalitiesOn burnout: what it is, its effects on the body, and preventionThe importance of creating boundaries for herHer approach as an integrative counselor in healing trauma and burnoutWhat qualifies as trauma-informed care for herResources she recommends on trauma-informed careHer thoughts on being kind to yourself LinksShannon Myers on Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/shannon-myers-crc-cmhimp-18396648/Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/intlSomatic Experiencing Training - https://traumahealing.org/IMMH - https://www.immh.org/IFM - https://www.ifm.org/functional-medicine/Mindful - https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/Headspace app - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.getsomeheadspace.android&hl=en&gl=USWake Up - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.wakingup.android&hl=en&gl=USCrisis Text Line - 741741BioShannon R. Myers, MS, CRC, CMHIMIP, is a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor, Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider, Research Fellow at The Harkin Institute, Adjunct Professor at Drake University in the Master of Counseling program, and is the Founder of Shannon Myers Consulting LLC and The Integrative Counselor, a niche, root-cause, private virtual Integrative Medicine Practice serving individuals, systems, and organizations across the U.S. Shannon is Trauma-Informed and an expert at systems change, collaboration, health outcomes, to advance Trauma-Informed, integrative, evidence-based, culturally appropriate, and innovative practices that are personalized, yet scalable; to create needed systemic change to address the bi-directional, root-cause nature of physical and mental health symptoms, disability, and prevention from the individual to the population levels. Handles for social media:Instagram: @The.Integrative.CounselorFacebook: @TheIntegrativeCounselorTwitter: @RootsCounselor

Have you ever wondered what is one of the greatest influences on your ability to trust yourself and others? In episode 32, we talk to Jim Farm about different attachment styles that form when we are young, and how they continue to influence every relationship that we have in our adulthood. Jim describes the four attachment styles: avoidant, anxious, disorganized, and secure. These styles continue throughout our life, unless we intentionally change them. Jim explains how an insecure attachment can inhibit our ability to be vulnerable. This impacts our relationship with others and even things, which can lead to addiction. He also shares that trauma has an impact on our attachment bonds. Towards the end, Jim shares that no matter what attachment style we developed when we were young, we can learn how to be safe and accessible individuals in our adult life. Listen to this episode to learn more!Key TakeawaysA little about Jim and his workWhat attachment is for him  What attachment styles are for himHow to develop attachment styles for himHis idea on the importance of understanding attachment styles for adultsAttachment styles concerning addiction and trauma for himHis bits of advice on unlearning insecure attachmentWho he thinks are the safe people to go toJim encourages the listeners to understand their relationship drivers BookThe Seven Desires of Every Heart by Debra Laaser - https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Desires-Every-Heart-ebook/dp/B001P0XPMO  LinksJim Farm on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimfarmfaithfulandtrue/Faithful & True website - https://faithfulandtrue.com/ Bio:Jim is the clinical director at Faithful & True. Jim has extensive counseling experience with individuals, couples and families in multiple community and ministry settings.  He provides counseling to men struggling with sexual purity issues, couples moving toward relational healing and growth, and facilitates small groups at our Men of Valor Intensive Workshops. Jim received his Master of Divinity and a Master of Arts in Marriage & Family Therapy from Bethel Seminary.

Body image is the picture we create in our mind about ourselves. It can be positive or negative, constant or ever-changing. Our parents, culture, friends, and even our thoughts contribute to how we form our body image. Are there things you would like to change about the way you look? And if those things changed, how would that impact your life? These are some of the questions we talk about in this episode with Dr. Katherine Iscoe, a leading expert in cultivating positive body image.In this episode, we talk about the everyday struggles for men and women and how key factors and beliefs influence our self-view. Dr. Katherine also talks about how we can generate resilience in the face of stress and how to look for the much-needed ways to care for ourselves during challenging times. If you want to learn the first steps towards changing your view of your self-image, listen to this episode! Key TakeawaysDr. Katherine on how prevailing negative body image isHow negative body image affects one’s  life for herHer idea of gender differences in negative body imageDr. Katherine on the impact of the brain on negative body imageHow do family and social media affect negative body image for herHer idea of gaining control over thoughts: its process and next stepsShe talks about self-care versus self-obsessionEmbracing body change for herWhat she thinks about doing things for yourself versus doing things for othersShe advises on how to  change  confidentlyHer theory of body confidenceHow to apply the step approach in the pandemic for herHow she turns stress into strengthHer advice on the importance of helping and being helpedManaging energy for her BookBody Confidence: The Scientific Approach on How to Shine from Within - https://www.amazon.com/Body-Confidence-Scientific-Approach-Within/dp/0646598635Untamed by Glennon Doyle - https://untamedbook.com/ LinkDr. Katherine Iscoe’s LinkedIn - http://au.linkedin.com/in/dr-katherine-iscoe-23601719Dr. Katherine Iscoe’s website -  www.drkatherine.comDr. Katherine Iscoe’s instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr_katherine/?hl=n Bio:Dr Katherine Iscoe is a “Mindset Mentor”, and self-proclaimed shoe addict, with a mission to activate a person’s dormant potential through education, inspiration & a touch of tough love.She is also a proud published author, an experienced and passionate speaker and the co-founder of the technology company MyFiziq Limited - an ASX-listed company with a multi-million-dollar market capitalisation.Her unique approach to catalysing change, often described as an “educational and humorous roller coaster ride”, is informed by extensive research, personal experiences and academic qualifications including Bachelor of Arts in Health Sciences (Summa Cum Laude), Master of Science in Exercise Physiology and Health Sciences, a Doctorate in Exercise Physiology and Biotechnology and a Post-graduate Certificate in Counselling.Most recently, Katherine has launched a series of new programs for individuals and teams, as well as mentoring for ambitious people wanting to make that next significant step towards their dream goals, while continuing to nurture a community that aims to bring together people from all walks of life, who inspire, support and nudge each other to accomplish great things.

See ya later 2020! Happy New Year! And a new year means New Year’s resolutions and goals. It can be easy to dream up the things we would like to change.  Do you have goals related to your career, relationship, lifestyle, or hobbies? But to make the changes we desire, we need to consider what will really make us happy and what are the things we do to get in the way - the ways we self-sabotage.In this episode we talk with Dr. Judy Ho, an expert on overcoming self-sabotage.She shares with us how society influences our definition of happiness; a definition that may be unattainable; and where true happiness can be found. She will also unpack for us what self-sabotage is, why we do it, how we can look at patterns in our life that aren’t working, and how we can create lasting change. To learn more about how to achieve your goals and find real happiness, listen to this episode!Key TakeawaysA little about Judy and her workHer explanation on Self-sabotageHow self-sabotage prevents self-care for herSelf-sabotage in personal relationships, career, and habits for herDrivers of self-sabotage explained by JudyHow she thinks self-sabotage works on productivityHow to break the habit of self-sabotage for herPractical steps and solutions to overcoming self-sabotage explained in detail by JudyHow to pursue happiness for her -- values-based livingJudy recommends making a blueprint for changeLinksDr. Judy Ho - https://www.drjudyho.comStop Self-Sabotage Quiz - https://www.drjudyho.com/stopselfsabotagequiz BookStop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho - https://www.drjudyho.com/stop-self-sabotage

This year has brought many unexpected turns, yet just around the corner is a new year… a fresh slate. Our approach to forgiveness affects our emotional, relational, and physical health. Harboring resentment, anger and unforgiveness creates roadblocks in our personal lives. Through the process of forgiveness, we are able to clear the road to fresh beginnings. In this episode, we speak with Dr. Everett Worthington who is an expert on the subject of forgiveness. Through his research on the process of forgiveness, Dr. Worthington sheds light on what true forgiveness is and the many misconceptions around this topic. He explains to us how this concept can then be applied to our relationships, community, and even ourselves. Let’s start the new year with the healing process of true forgiveness. Key TakeawaysA little about himself and the work he is doingHis definition of forgiveness: Decisional and EmotionalHow to replace the negative unforgiving emotions with positive other oriented emotions for himHis own experience with forgivenessMisconceptions of forgiveness (what we think vs. what it actually is) for him Some of the benefits of experiencing true forgiveness for him: Spiritual, Relational, Mental Health and Physical HealthAn example on attaining forgiveness in an affair in marriageHow to forgive without being asked for forgiveness for himHis insight on verbalizing forgiveness for true forgiveness to happenHis insight on forgiveness if hurts keep happening particularly in marriage affairsHow does self-forgiveness differ and how does it work for himThe importance of forgiveness in the community for himLinksDr. Everett L. Worthington - www.evworthington-forgiveness.comDo-it-Yourself (DIY) Workbooks - http://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/diy-workbooks Dr. Everett L. Worthington Bio:Everett L Worthington, Jr. is Commonwealth Professor Emeritus at Virginia Commonwealth University. He is a licensed clinical psychologist in Virginia, and he has published over 40 books and over 500 articles or chapters, most of which are on forgiveness and other virtues. His mission in life is to do all he can to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home, and homeland.

This week we speak with Beth Miller on the topic of spirituality. This episode is not about one particular religion, but rather about how spirituality is one important aspect of emotional well-being. Some of the important aspects of spirituality are faith, love, surrendering, and forgiveness. Beth shares about her new book, and how loss and anger can actually be healthy aspects of emotional well-being.Beth shares how being spiritually alive also means living in the present moment, and how there are many things that get in the way of this. She also addresses the importance of community on our spiritual journey. Whether you are exploring spirituality or have a deep rooted faith, this episode will take a look at how spirituality is an important component on your well-being journey.Key TakeawaysA little about herself and the work she’s doingWhat spirituality is exactlyWhat the ampersand represents for herSome examples of the ampersandWhat the word “surrender” means to herWhat love is for herA little bit about her bookWhat loss can teach people about spiritualityWhat post traumatic growth meansWhat “clean anger” meansHow anger and grief leads one to live a more authentic lifeOn the idea of welcoming “what is”What it means to be a spiritual person and have a spiritual practice todayHow the pandemic has affected spiritualityWhat it feels like to be spiritually aliveHow one begins the journey of healingWhat forgiveness looks likeWhat faith is for herHow people can find her online and get more informationLinksFaithful Counselling - https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/Thrive Resources Website - http://www.thriveresources.net/Sue Monk Kidd - https://suemonkkidd.com/BookCodependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melodie Beattie - https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025Beth Miller Bio:Beth Miller is a pastoral counselor residing in the city of Chicago.  Beth and her husband, Greg, founded Thrive Resources, an organization that helps support people in their journey of emotional and spiritual health through small groups, retreats and one on one connections.  Beth is a graduate of Bethel Seminary where she received her Masters and North Park Theological Seminary where she was trained as a spiritual director. She has recently authored What Loss Can Teach Us: A Sacred Pathway to Growth and Healing, being released on 2/21. She is the mom of two great young adult guys, Jacob and Caleb, and a very goofy rescue dog, Lucy.

What is it like to work on the front lines in this unprecedented pandemic? Are you a front line worker and have your own story to tell? In this very special episode, we will speak with Dr. Audrey Shafer who is the founder and director of the Medicine and the Muse Program at Stanford University and hear from front line workers about their experiences working during these difficult times.  We will learn that medicine is an art, and that there is a great amount of ambivalence and decision fatigue that accompanies front line workers. Finding expression through the arts, whether it is writing, painting, dance, or any other expression, can be a powerful tool to work through emotions and unload the weight of these heavy experiences.  To show our thanks to our front line workers, we will also announce a gift basket giveaway generously supplied by these local companies: Butter Bakery Cafe, Copperwing Distillery, The Dampfwerk Distillery Cocktail Lounge, Dogwood Coffee Co., Haven Nail Studio, Honey and Rye Bakehouse, Minnetonka Nothing Bundt Cakes, Minnesota Candle Co., Spot Spas, Sota Clothing, Sweet Jules Gifts, and Patisserie 46. Thank you for your support! You can nominate a front line worker on our instagram page: ButReallyHowAreYou.Podcast  Key Takeaways Recording of Amrapali Maitra sharing her thoughts and experiences on the COVID-19 pandemicRecording of Devon Schuster sharing her thoughts and experiences on the COVID-19 pandemicRecording of Anastasia Rose Zvonek sharing her thoughts and experiences on the COVID-19 pandemicInterview proper with Dr. Audrey ShaferHer role in the medical field and how she became a faculty member at StanfordSome of the emotional stresses faced by medical professionalsHer thoughts on ambiguity in the medical fieldSome of the benefits of connecting with one’s human side through artBasic changes she has seen for stresses around COVID-19 as a medical professionalSharing of a piece she wrote LinkDenise Levertov - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denise_Levertov Audrey Shafer Bio:Audrey Shafer, MD is Professor of Anesthesiology, Perioperative and Pain Medicine, Stanford University School of Medicine / Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System; founder and director, Stanford Medicine & the Muse Program, Stanford Center for Biomedical Ethics; co-director, Biomedical Ethics and Medical Humanities Scholarly Concentration; and co-founder of Pegasus Physician Writers.  Originally from Philadelphia, she completed her undergraduate studies at Harvard University, medical school at Stanford, anesthesiology training at University of Pennsylvania, and research fellowship at Stanford. Courses she teaches include Medical Humanities and the Arts.  Amrapali Maitra is a resident physician and primary care in Internal Medicine at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, MA. She is also a medical anthropologist and writer. Her website is  https://www.amrapalimaitra.com/ Devon Schuster, a certified registered nurse anesthetist, graduated with a BSN in nursing from the University of North Dakota and a master’s degree in nurse anesthesia from Minneapolis School of Anesthesia.  Anastasia Rose Zvonek is the proud mom to a puppy Samoyed Rheia.  She enjoys teaching yoga outside of working as a CRNA.  Originally she is from Elmhurst, Illinois but spent the last 6 years living in Minnesota.  Plans move to Colorado with her husband one day.  

We know this year has been tough. Many of us have experienced an increase in stress and anxiety. Dr. Rosean Bishop is a licensed psychologist at the Mayo Clinic Health Care System and an expert resource on the topic of anxiety. In this episode we talk about what causes our anxiety and what symptoms are associated with the various types of anxiety. Dr. Bishop also shares how we can manage our anxiety better. She shares when it’s appropriate to introduce a medication to help manage our symptoms, and when we can manage our stress on our own. Most importantly, she gives us cognitive, psychological, and mental examples for ways we can better manage our anxiety. Listen to this episode to find out more! Key TakeawaysA little about herselfCommon stressors that contribute to people’s stress and anxietyDifference between stress and anxietyCommon symptoms of anxietyDifferent types of anxietyThe most prevalent types of anxiety disorderDistinguishing features of anxietyWhat anxiety contagion isWhy humans have anxietyWhen introducing medication for anxiety is appropriateWhat makes people apprehensive about taking anxiety medicationsOther ways people can manage their stressWhat diaphragmatic or belly breathing isThe role of and humor in your well-beingWhat perspective taking is all aboutCognitive strategies she’ll recommendWhy it pays to stay in the present momentHow passion and joy can contribute to resilienceResources she can point the listeners toFinal thoughts she wants to leave listeners with LinksGreater Good Science Center - https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/Resilient Option - https://www.resilientoption.com/Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/Calm - https://www.calm.com/Dare - https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ie.armour.dare2&hl=en&gl=USMindshift - http://myhealthapps.net/app/details/463/mindshift Dr. Rosean Bishop BioRosean Bishop, PhD, is a licensed psychologist. She currently works for Mayo Clinic Health System in Mankato training family medicine residents in behavioral science and seeing patients in the primary care setting.

Family dynamics are always tricky to navigate, especially around the holiday season. Dr. Jessica Lougheed focuses her research on family dynamics, and specifically on conflict resolution. In this episode she shares two important scales family can use to measure a healthy family dynamic: 1) family cohesion: the balance between separateness and connectedness2) family flexibility: the balance between stability and change.  Family conflict is a natural part of human life and can be healthy if it’s resolved in an appropriate way. Dr. Lougheed also gives practical techniques for resolving conflicts. Some examples include meta communication where families talk about how they communicate, defensive statements, mindful listening, and “I” statements.  Most importantly, she shares how emotional repair after conflict can lead to better connections within relationships. This episode will help prepare you for navigating your family dynamics this holiday season and beyond! Key TakeawaysA little bit about herself and the work she’s doingWhat a family system isDifference between healthy and unhealthy family dynamicsHow the family dynamics can change overtimeHer thoughts on conflicts between family membersWhat emotional repair isHow family dynamics change around the holidaysGeneral conflict resolution strategiesWhat meta-communication meansWhat defensiveness is and what happens when you’re defensiveWhat “I statements” areWhat globalizing statements areHow to deal with family issues that impact your lifeHer last message to the  listeners Dr. Jessica Lougheed Bio:Dr. Jessica Lougheed holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Queen’s University (Ontario, Canada). She is currently an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia Okanagan, where she leads the Emotion Dynamics Lab.  Her research is focused on emotional development in adolescence, specifically, how emotion dynamics between parents and adolescents are related to mental health and well-being.  She is especially interested in dynamics related to conflicts, and in what ways conflicts with parents may be a typical part of adolescent development versus when conflict dynamics may be associated with adjustment difficulties. Links:My research website: https://jplougheed.comWebsites with information for parents on adolescent issues:Center for Parent and Teen Communication: https://parentandteen.comCenter for the Developing Adolescent: https://developingadolescent.org

Some say it’s the most wonderful time of the year—the holidays are just around the corner! We all have expectations about how the holidays will go, whether it’s family traditions or what we’ve learned from Hallmark movies. Some love the holidays, but for others it may bring up loss or disappointment. While the holidays are often tricky to navigate, the pandemic complicates things even more. We chat with Debbie Laaser again as she sheds some light on difficult holiday situations.In this episode we will talk about expectations, family dynamics, loneliness, disappointment, being too busy, finances, and self care. We hope this discussion provides some ideas for how we can still make the 2020 holiday season special.Key TakeawaysCommon emotions people experience as the holidays are approachingHow the pandemic has changed people’s feelings about the holidaysHer thoughts on change Her take on people’s expectations about the holidaysWhat to do when disappointment and other emotions ruin the present momentWhat a distorted core belief isOne way to minimize difficult emotions when things don’t go your wayHow to handle disagreements during the holidaysHow to manage other people’s feelings and expectationsHow to navigate differences in beliefsHow to handle loneliness during the holidaysHow people can navigate their commitments during the holidaysHow to manage your finances during the holidaysHow to keep your self-care routine during the holidaysHow to talk to yourself when you feel like you have not accomplished muchWhat taking care of yourself looks like during the holidaysHer final message to the listeners Debbie Laaser Bio  Debbie Laaser, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and was involved in recovery with her husband, Mark, for over thirty years. After Mark’s passing in 2019, she became the Director of Faithful & True. Debbie has facilitated therapy groups and counseled relationally betrayed wives for over 20 years.  She is the author of Shattered Vows and co-author with Mark of Seven Desires and A Toolkit for Growth: Practical Recovery Tools for Individuals and Couples.  Debbie’s recent research project, “Posttraumatic Growth in Relationally Betrayed Women” was published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

 Has the phrase ‘I’m not good enough’ ever crossed your mind? It could be, I’m not good enough for this job, for this partner, to be on the team, or to make the cut. This is a common phrase that occurs in people’s minds, and it reveals a level of self-doubt that we believe about ourselves. This is part two of the Satir Model discussion. In this episode, Linda Lucas will share a little more about the Satir method, specifically how it related to our view of ourselves. We will discuss the difference between self-doubt and self-esteem, and share what it means to live a congruent life. You will learn about how your belief system develops, and how you can learn to have a more positive self-image. Showing kindness and empathy towards ourselves is an essential ingredient for developing self-esteem. Key TakeawaysA little about herself and the work she’s doingHow the Satir Model is different from the othersWhat congruence isWhat the self is exactly and how it impacts a person’s view of one’s selfDifference between self-doubt and self-esteemWhat contributes to self-esteemHow the shift from self-esteem to self-doubt happensHow the belief systems are developed and how it affects one’s lifeCategories of belief systems people have to work throughHow to have a more positive self-esteemWhat being congruent meansHow to begin the process of transformational changeWhat the goal of their therapy isLinksSatir Transformational Systemic Therapy (STST) - https://satirpacific.org/uploads/documents/Satir%20Transformational%20Systemic%20Therapy%20in%20Brief.pdfButterfly (on Hulu) - https://www.hulu.com/series/butterfly-2018-9ad0a089-c7cb-4748-a9e6-84e726ffa237 BookThe Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell - https://www.amazon.com/Tipping-Point-Little-Things-Difference/dp/0316346624Linda J. Lucas Bio:Linda J Lucas, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, MA, LCPC, has extensive training in Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy.  Linda is an enthusiastic, experienced trainer and provides training for professionals, teachers, educators, staff and families working with at-risk adolescents, attachment issues, addictions, couples, families, grief and loss, and self-care.   She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Sangamon State University in Springfield, Illinois, USA, and earned a Master of Arts in Human Developmental Counseling at the University of Illinois, Springfield, Illinois, USA. Linda studied Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (attachment therapy) with Daniel A. Hughes. Linda is the Secretary of the Board of Directors of the Satir Institute of the Pacific, past president of the Satir Institute of the Pacific, and a Clinical member of the Satir Institute of the Pacific, a member of the Satir Institute of the Pacific Training Directorate, and a member of the American Counseling Association.   She is an approved trainer and faculty for the Banmen Satir China Management Center, Beijing, China. Linda is a certified supervisor for Idaho licensed professional counselors. Linda travels throughout the world conducting Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy experiential, dynamic workshops and programs. Linda also guides and facilitates Soul Contact/hypnosis regression sessions.  She has an independent online therapy practice.

In this episode, we learn about the Satir method of psychology, created by Virginia Satir. A pioneer in the the field, Satir took a different approach to family dynamics and became known known as the “Mother of Family Therapy.”  Jennifer Nagel is an amazing psychologist who has had a leading role in the Satir Institute of the Pacific and other Satir networks. In this episode, Jennifer discusses how we develop our belief system and how this impacts our everyday experiences. She talks about ways to come back into our own self—how to become more in touch with our own feelings and what our body is telling us.  We also discuss how to recognize  your belief systems and how to understand how it fits in today’s world. Jennifer shares about the Iceberg Model, where most of our understanding of self is beneath the surface. We hope this episode will help you get more in touch with yourself. Key TakeawaysA little about her and the work she’s doingWhat the Satir model is and what makes it differentWhat it means to tap into one’s selfHow to recognize when you’re not connected to yourselfWhat the Satir patterns of coping areDifferent types of copingOther ways people copeWhat it means to allow the body to “speak”What the iceberg metaphor in the Satir model is all aboutWhat it means for feelings to have “feelings”How to take ownership of your experiences rather than blaming othersHow the iceberg metaphor plays out in real lifeHow to connect with yourselfHow to learn to tap into your bodyHow to understand yourself moreHow to work through different beliefs and influencesHow being connected can help you make wise decisionsWhy gratitude is so importantWhat it means when you’re congruentWhat the alternative to coping isResources and books she recommends Links Jennifer Nagel Counselling Website - https://www.jennifernagelcounselling.comVirginia Satir - https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/the-mother-of-family-therapy-virginia-satir/Satir Institute of the Pacific - https://satirpacific.org/Virginia Satir Global Network - https://satirglobal.org/ BooksMagic in the Muck: Finding Grace in Chaos by Jennifer Nagel - https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Muck-Finding-Grace-Chaos/dp/1775308405The Satir Model: Family Therapy and Beyond by Virginia Satir - https://www.amazon.com/Satir-Model-Family-Therapy-Beyond/dp/0831400781Peoplemaking by Virginia Satir - https://www.amazon.com/Peoplemaking-Condor-Books-Virginia-Satir/dp/0285648721 Jennifer Nagel Bio: Jennifer Nagel, MA, RCC has extensive training in the Satir Model and has been leading training for a diversity of groups including therapists, educators, school programs, community groups, at-risk adolescents, therapeutic programs, non-profit organizations and corporate groups. She has presented many workshops and training programs internationally, and works regularly in Canada, China, and Kenya. 

How we are raised and who raises us is one of the greatest influences on our lives. Some of us easily find faults in our parents or wish they had shown up in different ways. For others of us, we hold our parents in high esteem and believe they did a great job. But none of us had perfect parents. It can be hard to admit that our parents may have fallen short at times and it can be even harder to examine how this may have impacted us. It all left an imprint on our lives. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Lindsay Gibson about emotionally immature parents. We discuss things such as black and white thinking, moral obligation, a low tolerance for stress, and pressuring other people to meet one’s own needs. She describes four different types of parents—emotional, driven, passive, and rejecting—and how they impact us as children.Dr. Lindsay also discusses what we can do with this information and how we can improve our relationships with our parents and our own children. This is a really insightful episode that will help you look at the generational effects of your family’s emotional well-being.Key takeawaysA little about herself and the work she’s doingWays parents influence their childrenWhat is meant by emotionally immature parentsWhat affective realism isFour different types of parentsHow emotionally immature parents can affect their children’s boundariesWhat narcissistic personality disorder isHow children should communicate with emotionally immature parentsHow to be a relationship leaderHow to teach your parents what your values areHow children of emotionally immature parents should reconnect with their true selvesLast thoughts she wants to share with the listenersBooksWho You Were Meant to Be: A Guide to Finding or Recovering Your Life’s Purpose by Lindsay C. Gibson - https://www.amazon.com/Who-You-Were-Meant-Recovering-ebook/dp/B01HLN6M78Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson - https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703Dr. Lindsay Gibson Bio: Lindsay C. Gibson holds both a Master’s and Doctoral Degree in clinical psychology. She has been a psychodiagnostician and psychotherapist for over thirty years, working in both public and private practice. In the past, Dr. Gibson has served as an Adjunct Assistant Professor for the Virginia Consortium Program for Clinical Psychology, teaching doctoral students clinical theory and psychotherapeutic techniques. Dr. Gibson is the author of three books, Who You Were Meant to Be, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents. She has also written a monthly column on Well-Being for Tidewater Women magazine (www.tidewaterwomen.com) for over twenty years. Dr. Gibson lives and works in Virginia Beach, Virginia.