"Ships" and Giggles

Cher and Jalen talk about what love means to us. Is there a difference between love and being "in" love and how does that feel?  They talk about Greek philosophers and the eight categories of love, how they feel to us, and with whom we feel the different kinds of love. They dive into how the generations love and what makes them feel loved. Love is an action word, so they talk about being "in" love as a short-term experience and love being more long-term, and sustainable. 

Jalen and Cher are talking about how they feel about New Year Resolutions, Their Word of the year, and what they are leaving behind and looking forward to. They also talk about new things that they want to add to old routines and/or their daily lives. 

Jalen and Cher have been on a hiatus, yet they were still out there living. They are reentering the podcast race with some accountability, letting you in on what they have been up to, and some of what we all have to look forward to with the podcast. Welcome or welcome back to the podcast where mom and son navigate through their lives, sharing thoughts from their generational perspectives, and proving that parents and adult children can have a friendship and operate in their roles. 

We wanted to take an episode to look at some of the African American pioneers that don't get talked about. We often just take what they tell us about in school and believe that that is all there is. We looked into people that have basically changed the way we ALL do things in the United States as a result of their intelligence and innovation in order to make the world we live in a better place. They paved the way for many others and bring a sense of pride to the African American community. We wanted to pay homage to them and others as we close out Back History month. We should all continue to research and celebrate the breakthroughs that have been made in the black community as well as the other communities. The United States is definitely a melting pot full of intelligent people who create in order to make all of our lives better, to extend our lives and create legacies that can be passed down and built on for generations. 

Intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. When we learn to acknowledge and listen to that part of us that is trying to protect us, we are tuning in to that intuition. Jay and I talk about when we listened to our gut feeling and the other times when we decided to make a different decision. Not every circumstance or situation that we find ourselves in requires reasoning, especially when we are tuned in to our gut. Our body knows what it needs more of as well as what it needs less of. We can learn the power of the "pause" and use it to tune into ourselves and our needs. How do you want to feel after that conversation or experience? Your intuition may jump in to tell you how to best serve yourself. 

Celebrating your wins can be so motivating for you and others. There are people that believe we should be modest and not mention what we have or earn. Jay and I talk about how we feel about bragging and boasting. What is the difference? We talk about that as well. We both agree that we should celebrate hoe far we have come. It is motivating and can help us avoid being depressed or feel like we want to quit. Life is good and we should celebrate our wins everyday, small and big wins. We have many people that we look up to and watch them win and celebrate. Why can't we do the same when we win. We have earned it. Celebrate! Come and hang out with us while we laugh and take a real look at how we and others feel about bragging...boasting....celebrating ourselves. 

We tackle the art of "fighting fair" in his episode. No relationship that we have is going to be rainbows and unicorns every single day. That is including the relationship we have with ourselves. Today we speak about what happens when we settle into a space in our relationship then a new war begins. What do we do? Do we settle into our old ways and act on our old feelings? Did we grow any from our last war and we now have the opportunity to practice what we have learned. Jalen gets transparent about his relationships and his struggle with getting comfortable in a space only to have events happen that put him at odds against himself and his wife at times. Come join us as we talk about what it means to "fight fair" and what it takes to navigate through the war at hand. We address what we experience before, during, and after the war. It is hard to move without emotions getting the best of us. What do you do when it is time to war with the one you love? Can you "fight fair" and see everyone involved win? 

As we all know, communication is such and important part of any relationship we decide to be in. We are not always given the tools for effective communication at a young age, so we go through life feeling our way through. We learn through our failed relationships what we need and do not need in when it comes to having others in our lives. Appreciative communication can let the people whom we love in our lives know that we care about what they have to say. It says that we value what they have to say and we all want to feel this way. We talk about what appreciative communication means to us and how we navigate through in our "ships". Very few things are more important to us than the people we love and we should learn how to communicate with one another in a way that says that they matter. We all want to feel heard and understood and this form of communication can help us get there. Another tool for the toolbox. Enjoy! 

In this episode, we talk about how important photos are and why we should go back to look at them often, maybe even print them and hang them for viewing. Many times we take pictures on our phones, pay for family, graduation and infant photos and send them out but do not display them or our own viewing pleasure. Today we talk to a professional photographer who can tell us more about why photos are so important, what we gain rom taking them, and why we cannot put a price on having the people we love together to capture special moments. We share so much more about why John decided to get into photography and where he can be found in order to have your memories captured with him personally. John English IV is the owner of Native Eye Media in the Florida area and also a podcaster, Bowties and Button-ups where he tackles the hard issues that men face in a world that tells them that they should always be strong. Hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did. Let us know what you think. Like, Subscribe, Comment, rate, review, and share! 

Why is it so hard to ask for what we want? We all have needs and we should feel safe enough to go to our spouses or partners, coworkers, friends, and family to express what those needs are. We cannot complain about our jobs and the people in our lives not meeting our needs when we have never given them the chance to actually meet them. In order to ask for what we really need, we need to know who we are. That way we can ask for what we really need. If you don't know yourself, chances are you don't know what you want. In turn, it will be impossible to ask for what you truly need. Speaking up for yourself and asking those we trust to meet our needs is not selfish or needy. We all have special needs that are going to get us through the day ...through life. Communicating those needs to the people we feel can meet them is a vulnerable space and can be a rewarding one. 

Fathers are pillars in the development of their children's emotional well being. We need them! We need you! They provide a feeling security and that is physically and emotionally. Think about you as an adult and how we have worked since we were children to meet the approval of our dads. An involved father is so valuable! They promote inner growth and strength. They help children be prepared for the harshness of the world and also the reality. A father is definitely valuable in creating that balance because mothers are nurtures and spend more time protecting than allowing you to face the realities of life early on. Fathers are not only important to boys. Loving fathers who provide praise, support, and unconditional love to their daughters give us the gift of confidence and higher self-esteem. Helping us to know how special we are and they don't even have to work hard to do that. When you are a father that is involved in your children's lives, you raise children with longer attention spans and fewer behavior problems. Dad, you are important! Jalen and I talk about what a good father looks like to us and Jalen speaks about becoming a father to his little girl within the next few weeks. A girl dad! You have to be a special kind of man to raise little girls. Hats off to you all. I know that because my daddy is a girl dad and we have such a special bond that we talk about in this episode. Father....Faithful And Trustworthy Honoring Every Responsibility...That is YOU! 

Ghosting can leave a lot of questions unanswered. The big question is Why! When someone does decide to leave your calls, text, emails or messages unanswered, it can leave you asking yourself what "you" did to cause this action. Someone who feels like they are on the other end of a ghosting may question their self worth and self-esteem. It is the ultimate silent treatment which we all hate to experience. The silent treatment is the worst and no one deserves to feel that kind of misuse. We talk about what it means to us to be ghosted and how we respond to being ghosted. Are there any occasions where ghosting someone can be healthy for you or the other person? We think so and we talk about that. Why do some feel the need to ghost someone instead of just communicating with the other person? DO we really need closure when it comes to the newer relationships and friendships. We understand once there has been time invested in a relationship, that communication is due when things are coming to an end, but do we have to extend the same courtesy in a new "ship"? 

Perfectionism is usually looked at as a positive trait  but it can lead to negative self talk and behaviors that make it harder for us to reach our goals. Striving for perfection can cause one to feel inadequate as well as feeling like a failure. Is it possible to actually achieve  perfection? We dive into what perfection means to us and how we feel about the pursuit itself. Most of us want to achieve success but it does not mean that it has to be done "perfectly". A person that feels like something has to be done perfectly in order for it to be deemed success, won't see the accomplishment as something to be proud of, or a learning experience if it is not done just so. We talk about perfectionism and how it looks different to each of us. How do we know or what do we see as perfect? Can someone be perfect or may they are just perfect for you? Is a career or experience really perfect or just perfect for you?

There is so much power in being silent. Not every moment in our lives calls for words, especially when those words may cause friction in a relationship. Jay and I talk about how important it is for the people in our lives to know that they are heard. Listening to understand and have clarity can strengthen our relationships and that is something we strive for with the ones we love. Leaders can show strength when they are silent by giving their employees an opportunity to use their critical thinking in task work and it can build trust and increase productivity in those moments. In any loving relationship, silence can increase a bond. The silent treatment, however, is dangerous in relationship and it does not make the person receiving feel important and it alienates affection. 

Celebrating mommy all over the world. We are talking about mommy memories and how mom impacts our lives. It was s much fun to listen to how my son feels about my parenting and the impact it has had on his adult life. He also speaks about how it change what he thought about parenting as well as how we will parent his expectant little girl. 

This one challenges us because we could have gone on and on talking about empathy. People that have empathy are so very important to our lives. They are highly sensitive and focused on the needs of others. They, indeed have to be careful because there are people that will take advantage of them and be "energy" vampires. I am an empath and very introverted so I benefit from time alone as all empaths do. It can be draining to spend a lot of time with others because we give over our emotions to them and their needs. Creating healthy boundaries is something that an empath must do to protect their energy and display self-love. Come hang with us as we chat about what it means to us to be empathetic and the difference between empathy and sympathy. 

This week we talk about the people that have made some kind of impact in our lives. Of course there are more than 3, but these are people we would love to sit down with and pick their brains. There are people in all of our lives that have done or said something that sparked the fire within us...these are some of our people. We hope to one day really get to sit down with them and dive deep into who they are. They are all great teachers of life and love and we had fun talking about what their lives mean to us.  

Labels can give us a sense of order and they can also be related to judgement. We tackled labels and how we feel about them. We talk about why they can be important for some of us and how they shape our perception when it comes to race, looks, and personality to name a few. We sometimes label people that we have never spoken to, some we barely know at all. These labels can create bias, stereotypes, and fear and may keep us making solid connections. Labels can also motivate us to set greater expectations and meaningful goals, and build more positive characteristics. Good or bad, labels represent an influence on identity and many times it is beyond our control. 

This is one episode that we were excited to record. It has recently been.a very important part of mine and Jalen's life when it comes to coworkers, friends and even family members. We all have to evaluate our lives and figure out what we really want to see happen. We have so many distractions and they can slow us down from living the life that we truly want. Boundaries are primarily a way to show ourselves love. They are also a way to teach the people in our lives how to love us thoroughly. Pull up a chair and listen to how we feel about boundaries and our experiences with the boundaries we had and/or our lack of boundaries and the consequences. 

We just wanted to have a little fun and talk about what things about us...someone may consider bougie. We all have different tastes and those things may be considered bougie or "uppity" to someone else but it is just the way you like to do things. We are poking fun at each other and making little sly judgements but it is all in fun. We should love people just the way they are and not pass juudgement on how they choose to live life but we do. It can be hurtful at times and cause problems in relationships.....this is not one of those times!! We do play around with each other. This is one of those times