Burn & Rave

Please enjoy another bonus (but unfortunately Joeless) episode of "The ILLiterists," a Burn & Rave production that shows a more literary side of Ryan, the mechanic, and Sam, the professor. In each episode, they share original writing, then discuss the influence and impact of each piece. The goal of this show is to inspire more creative writing, spiritual wellness, and to create a deeper connection with our audience and each other, but we may slip in a butt joke or two. In this case, we sl...

Please enjoy this bi-weekly bonus but unfortunately Joeless premiere episode of "The ILLiterists," a Burn & Rave production that shows a softer and more literary side of Ryan, the mechanic, and Sam, the professor.In each episode, they share short literary, dare we say, Pulitzer-Prize worthy works they wrote and discuss the influence and impact of each piece. The goal of this show is to inspire more creative writing, spiritual wellness, and to create a deeper connection with our...

Research shows that listening to the Burn and Rave podcast can cause mild brain damage on par with a night of heavy drinking. So sit back and crack open a brand new episode and let’s rot our minds together! Tonight, Ryan installs chain-drags for the heavy kids. We also discuss how Mike, the office guy, is the most unlucky thing in Chinese culture, and in a strange turn of usefulness, we teach you how to poop properly to avoid hemorrhoids. Additional topics include stoner piss for j...

Lucky you! Tonight the boys try out some new joke material. Then Sam’s tells a joke so funny HR wants to hear it. How bad did Sam screw the pooch? Tune in and find out.Ryan opens up about his love of pearl necklaces. Is Sam schizophrenic? Who said that? Holy sh$t, that’s a lot. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly!Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light."Send ...

If cocaine could make a sound, this would be it. So roll up a dolla bill and get your ears ready for an ass-blast of psychological trauma! Sam finds his hidden talent (Hint: it has three holes and you stick your fingers into it), and Ryan stabs some kids. Sam also explores the virgin field of forensic fecal analyses. And finally, Sam shows Ryan where the bad man touched him. Oh yeah, there’s another top 10 list!Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsi...

Still here? Well great! Cause so are Sam and Ryan. Here’s what to expect from this circus: the age old tradition of “Jokes before hoes” is discussed and then Ryan breaks down the reasons gen Zer’s will never make captain. Then the boys give you some simple pointers on how to find easy blackmail targets and why PT Cruisers are not optimal vehicles. Ryan’s sausage squirts him in the eye and there’s another top 10 list! How do they do it?Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode...

Sit back, relax and pop a couple quaaludes cause Sam and Ryan are on a roll! Let the smooth sounds of their intergalactic b$&lshit train cause you to question your very existence. Sam talks Bro Code. Ryan needs an Uber Piss. And what the f&$k is “butt to butt”? Find out in this episode of BNR. Oh, and the boys hate some cute ideas to help you preserve your family’s legacy.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this 100th episode responsibly!Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good ...

In this historic 100th episode episode, Ryan finally admits to his long-lasting crush on Sam who can't recall if he left his balls out to defrost or not. Meanwhile, Ryan contemplates one last ditch effort at selling his body parts on the interwebs before dazzling us with another Top Ten List of Cars to Buy in 2024.Other topics include: baby exoskeletons, water cremation, human taxidermy, and the dream that kept Ryan awake.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this 100th episode responsibly!Reme...

Ryan explains what a menace he was as a teen (and still is) and Sam gives arguably the greatest marriage advice every husband needs to hear.We also get to the bottom of Ryan's bad haircut, why dental hygienists ask so many questions, and finally, Ryan shares Top Ten Reasons Sam Can't Own a Cat. #MeowTune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the ...

Sam and Ryan's investigative reporting expose a Coca Cola Cow Connection that may be at the heart of the obesity and diabetes epidemic in the US, so their logical next step is to look for ways to exploit cattle for their own gain.We also learn about Ryan's crippling fear of heights, who would be assassinated first, and how Joe, as a a dairy DJ, gets cows crunk. The boyz of Burn & Rave also settle the ancient argument over what's better: meatballs or meatloaf? They also discuss Sam's hands...

Did you know Bo Jackson saved Ryan's life, dolphins prefer manual stimulation, and apologies are not as hard as you think to give?In this groundbreaking new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan explains bumps and rails, they choose their favorite beans for National Bean Day, and they invent archery bowling.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the lig...

Some people have eyes in the back of their heads, but the boys at Burn and Rave propose a new and better set of eyeballs in a much more strategic place, and they meticulously outline the plans and possibilities of making it happen. In addition, Ryan teaches Sam something he wishes he never learned and they discuss ways to elevate your dogs intelligence while decreasing your own.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age...

In this long-awaited new episode, the geniuses at Burn & Rave invent Tent Pants (TM/COPYRIGHT) and Cat Hats (ALSO, DON"T STEAL OUR IDEAS, ELON!)In politics, we solve the world's geopolitical crisis with our new venture Burnouts for Borders, a non-profit, border security company. In science news, Ryan explains the Earth's rotation and Sam explains why his mom is dizzy.Also, Ryan learns how to send an email in our new segment: Corporate Doozies and Don'ts.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy...

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Sam explains ekphrastic poetry and the boys reveal some performance tips that could help you win the next poetry prize!Additionally, these geniuses discuss the world of horses, Ryan's nasal period, andSam introduces Ryan to Chapstick.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light."Send your thank you letters, f...

The Burn and Rave boys discuss old-age ailments and the dark, anti-Christian symbolism that recur in iconic songs. (Spoiler Alert: Melissa Etheridge and Led Zeppelin are cancelled.)Sam also shares cannibal haiku and they discuss their *award-winning human recycling initiative. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light."Send your thank you le...

In this quintessential episode of Burn and Rave, we learn why Ryan's favorite teacher was his favorite teacher. (Hint: It's not what you think. It's worse.) We also learn about narcissistic parenting and why Sam is always wrong.Also, Ryan has a plan to eliminate deadbeat dads through his non-profit Chud Kids program. Meanwhile, Sam gets invited to a pineapple party.Let the games begin. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good...

The Burn and Rave crew breaks down their need for a lot more sax, they engage in a messy joke off, and Ryan explains why he loves the slow lane.Sam explains his biggest flex while Ryan finally learns to flex his kegel.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light."Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to burnandravep...

Listen, just don't tell anyone.In this episode, Ryan and Sam discuss reverse heightism, Ryan's rabid dog, shark baby hybrids, dog paternity tests, and Sam's near death experience (as well as being hit on by a GILF) at his favorite watering hole. Ryan also won't STFU about his Tonka truck, and they offer a bulletproof way to decrease crime and car jackings.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and ...

In this women-themed episode, Sam learns about lesbians and the fact that some women actually do stink. Meanwhile, Ryan invents a feminine hygiene product for dinosaur lovers. Also, the boys of Burn and Rave examine the gang epidemic in America and devise a way to decrease gun violence.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light."Send your tha...

In this episode, the boys of Burn & Rave invent a full-proof sexual assault prevention device. Ryan survives Disneyland. DUIs vs IUDs are explained, and we learn that Sam is unable to perform jury duty. The rest is censored.Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly.Remember:"Do not go gentle into that good night,Old age should burn and rave at close of day;Rage, rage against the dying of the light."Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to bu...