The Feminist Mommies

Mommy Wine Culture has become a part of our culture. Memes depicting women who can't get through the day without a glass of wine are common place. Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss the stigma of the drinking mom and share their own perspectives of drinking and how it plays a role in connecting with other moms.  

It's a Feminist Mommies hot topic - career versus staying home - but in this episode Feminist Mommies co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss the stigma around career pauses.  Whether you think career pauses are a good or bad thing they are a reality for millions of women (and men) around the world who need to prioritize staying home with kids. Do career pauses equal an end to your once thriving career? Shannon shares her experience with a 2-year career pause and how long it took her to get back into a fulfilling role.

In light of the U.S. Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, Feminist Mommies co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss the frustrations and feelings of this landmark decision and how the conservative mindset is gaining momentum across the country.  Shannon shares her perspective as a Californian with roots from Hawaii and Ohio. The U.S may be a country divided but we're still holding out hope for a more equitable future for our daughters.

We love summer! What's better than long days, sunny weather, popsicles and the beach. But summertime is not all rosy for working parents with school-aged kids. When the kids are let out for the summer, what's a working parent to do? Can everyone afford the exorbitant summer camp fees? Can working parents juggle the reduced summer camp hours with their work schedules? Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss their plans for the summer, how they make it work and look ahead to the new school year.

As women, we have all experienced shame. For many of us, this started early in our lives with the clothes we wear, with our interests, hobbies and activities. But there is even greater shame in motherhood. Society shames women all the time for the choices they make in raising their kids. From pregnancy (the food you eat), to birth (caesarean or vaginal delivery), to feeding your infant (breastfeeding or formula), it seems no matter the choices we make, we will be shamed. Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss the greatest sources of shame they encountered in motherhood and how we shame each other.

We're back after a long hiatus of school, work and life! We're entering the summer ready and excited to be back recording. This episode was recorded in Feb 2022 and details some of the new sexist experiences we've had in the past few months. From navigating moms who romanticize our kids' relationships, to the old, white male who believes gender identity is not an important topic of conversation, join us, commiserate with us and let's make some change!

Do you consider yourself to be an activist or philanthropist? The rapid digitization of our world has enabled younger generations of kids to be exposed to so many causes beyond our own communities. Along with feminist values, encouraging kids to develop good citizenship and a desire to help others is an important role we play as parents. Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss how to get started with encouraging an activist mindset, what the right age might be and how our own childhoods have shaped our activism today. Please note: This episode was recorded August 2021.

It could certainly be consensus that it's of great importance for society to continue to procreate to continue the human race. So if babies are so important, why is it that those who take care of babies (or children) are devalued by our society? Why are these roles typically filled by women? Why do teachers, nurses, and caregivers receive low wages in many cases? Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss the unwitting dichotomy of our society's need for these roles but our inability to pay more for them. What's the solution?

Have you ever been at a party or social gathering meeting new people and the common question is always, ‘What do you do for work?’. Or worse yet, instead of asking what you do for work, they ask you what your husband does for work? In our society so driven by patriarchal and hierarchal values, these questions rank and order people and tell us nothing about the quality of someone’s character. And if the latter, it sends the message that women’s accomplishments are not only not interesting but hold no significance in the hierarchy. Has this happened to you? Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss their experience with this question and why society needs to move away from this rank and order question all together. 

You believe in equality and that everybody should have equal rights & opportunities. You are rooted in the view that women should have the same freedoms and advantages as men. But what is everyone talking about when they say “patriarchy”? What does this term entail and how does it affect society? In this episode, co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss what this term means, where it came from and how it is used in society today. Resources from this episode:https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jun/22/the-age-of-patriarchy-how-an-unfashionable-idea-became-a-rallying-cry-for-feminism-today

Feminism resonates with individual choice. The choice of one woman is not the same as another. Does the feminist doctrine counter abortion? This is a debate that seems like a conflict of rights: the right of women to control their own bodies and the right for children to be born. Can you be a feminist and pro-life? Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa dive into how different countries and different individuals view abortion, why some women choose one or the other and whether this is a feminism issue or not.Resources from this episodehttps://www.guttmacher.org/journals/psrh/2005/reasons-us-women-have-abortions-quantitative-and-qualitative-perspectives 

Sexual Education is an important topic for our kids. It's not just about teaching anatomy and where babies come from, but early sexual education reduces the risk of abuse, STI's, unwanted teen pregnancies, and also empowers our kids about their bodies. In this episode co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss the book, Beyond Birds and Bees by Bonnie J. Rough and how it changed their approach to discussing this topic with their young kids. Early and open conversations about sex promotes equality and reduces shame. Have you started these conversations with your kids?

When men get angry, their power and respect increases. When women get angry, their power and respect decreases. Many women are uncomfortable with expressing anger or seeing it in others. It’s as if men and boys only have the right to express and experience anger. Girls are not taught to acknowledge or manage anger so much as to fear, ignore, hide or transform it. How is this tied to patriarchal shame and what can we do to liberate ourselves and teach our children about expressing disagreement, anger and overall, just using our voices? Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss their own experiences with anger in family situations, with friends and in a professional environment and how they're teaching their daughters to have confidence in their feelings and voice.Reference articles: How Parents Can Help Their Daughters Express Anger in Healthy Ways and Why It Matters, AMightyGirl.comRage Becomes Her - The Power of Women's Anger

We want the best for our kids. We hope for them to make more of themselves than we did. Whether that means happiness, good will to the world, broadened experiences, career success, financial independence, or healthy relationships. But what happens when your daughter tells you that her ambition is to get married and be a stay-at-home-mom? Is focusing on being a mom good enough for your daughter? What if it was your son who said this? As feminist moms, do our own values and desire for equality interfere with our expectations of our kids? Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss stereotypes of SAHMs and working moms and how their feminist values influence these perceptions and shape their hopes and dreams for their kids.

The Black Lives Matters movement has woken a generation from across races to acknowledge the white privilege and systemic racism in our culture and society.  As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children tolerance and acceptance for people who are different from them. Yet for many families, diversity is not a natural part of their day-to-day lives. How do we teach our children and lead by example when our friends, family and neighbors look and act like us? Is having a diverse community important to raising our children to be accepting of diversity? Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss how they're raising their kids to embrace diversity and what you can do to dispel harmful stereotypes. 

It starts at birth. Well intentioned grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles making reference to little baby boys being ‘heartbreakers’ and little baby girls being ‘a tease’. The sexualization of children begins almost immediately and kids are put into a box before they’ve even learned to sit up. Before a child even has a chance to confirm their identity as male or female, adults are making assumptions and encouraging inappropriate behavior. What can we as parents do to stop this cycle and how can we create boundaries for our children? Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss their own sexist experiences and how they undermine our daughters' self-esteem and self-worth.

Women are taught from a very early age that we should fear one another. That only one woman can make it to the top. Where does this competitive mindset come from and how can we stop the cycle with our own daughters? Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss their experiences through the years with mean girls and how they're raising kind humans.References in the episode:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_intrasexual_competitionFight Like a Girl by Clementine Ford - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29615052-fight-like-a-girl  

The role of mom is life-changing and no one can prepare you for it. There is no shortage of learning that needs to happen and support you need from fellow moms. But what happens when you’re the only ‘mom’ in your friend group? What happens to your hobbies when you become a mom? Friendships can change, priorities can change, your career can change, even your relationship with your spouse can change. Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss how their relationships changed when they became mothers and what took them by surprise.

We all know the role sexism plays in society. We have been witnesses to it countless times. Though what role does it play in our own homes? Research shows that women are taking on the majority of unpaid work, in some cases, double that of men. What impact does this have on women's mental health and what are some of the root causes of this unequal divide? Co-hosts Vanessa and Shannon discuss how unpaid work is reflected in their own household dynamics and how to move toward a more equitable divide.References in the episodeDon’t Be Grateful That Dad Does His Share https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/05/mothers-shouldnt-be-grateful-their-husbands-help/588787/ Breadwinning Mothers Continue to Be the U.S. Norm https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/women/reports/2019/05/10/469739/breadwinning-mothers-continue-u-s-norm/Time use: Total work burden, unpaid work, and leisurehttps://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/89-503-x/2015001/article/54931-eng.htm Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41104077-invisible-women      

They say it takes a village to raise a child but what happens when your village doesn’t share the same values, culture, beliefs? For many families this may take the shape of familial relations - grandparents disagree with how you’re choosing to raise your kids - or community relations - you live far from family, maybe in a foreign country or surrounded by people who don’t look or act like you. How do you find genuine connections of support? Co-hosts Shannon and Vanessa discuss their experiences with family boundaries and how they found their supportive community of moms.