Dr. Keith's Pain-2-Power

Big Tech and government are in an unhealthy alliance to eavesdrop on you, control you and deprive you of your privacy, liberty and humanity.  It's time to immunize yourself from them.

Self-esteem depends on mastering one core concept. It's a leap of faith, really. And you can take that leap right now. Just hit "Play." 

Everyone always advises taking the “long view” of life—that today’s troubles aren’t forever.  There’s truth to that.  But for people under stress, it can be unwieldy to think too far in the future.  A focus on today—in fact, on this very minute—can unlock reservoirs of personal power.  Can you breathe for a minute?  Can you take a walk for 15 minutes?  Can you work for an hour?  Can you commit to the journey through one day, come what may?  Of course you can.  

What do you really GET for speaking your mind, even if so many people in America want to shut you up?  You get stronger.  You get a spine of steel.  Everything that works against resistance works better, in the end.  So, don’t be muzzled or (as Anthony Fauci did with dogs) have your vocal cords cut.  Say what you think.  Mean what you say.  And don’t back down for anyone.

Viktor Frankl, the great psychiatrist imprisoned for years in a Nazi death camp, gave us the tools to unlock the God-given, indestructible reservoir of power inside each and every one of us.  It can be tapped in the face of any amount of pain—if you know it’s there and resolve to use it.

Sometimes it really helps to remember that the creative and economic stresses that those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to pay our bills can still feel, along with the sense of impending doom that  visits us despite relative peace and prosperity, are created by us.  We conjure them up.  It’s almost as though we suspend disbelief and generate a false narrative of our lives that makes it seem life threatening if we don’t climb the next rung on the ladder of success or meet rather artificial deadlines or milestones.Sometimes, we should just sit back, realize there are no holes in our jeans (unless we bought them that way or like them that way), remember that we won’t be at a loss to buy our next $4 cup of coffee and let our lives and hearts and minds breathe a bit.

While the ego climber might think that the ascent to wealth or fame or admiration or a remarkable physique is indistinguishable from the growth and achievement that comes from expressing one’s true self and true goals, that isn’t so. There’s something infinitely exhausting about ego climbing.  That’s because the peak of the mountain keeps receding as you approach it.  You can’t ever get that feeling of having reached the pinnacle because that kind of celebration and sense of SELF-satisfaction are reserved for those who climb to meet themSELVES at the top of the mountain, not to escape themselves.

There may be no pain greater than the pain of not being yourself—the person you were meant to be from all time.  The journey from pain to power is the journey that taps into your core, moves you onto the path to self-actualization and allows you to manifest your God-given gifts.  

It is in our darkest hours—including those being experienced, no doubt, by Governor Andrew Cuomo—that we are called upon to turn our pain into power by striving for insight into oneSELF, by recommitting to even higher levels of service to SELF and others and by SEEING how our stories can become comeback stories.  The alchemy of the soul that fuels Pain-2-Power now has to be summoned by Governor Cuomo.  And that’s why I chose Governor Andrew Cuomo as this week’s Pain-2-Power Person of the Week.

Depersonalization is a psychological pathology in which people feel as though they are not truly at one with themselves.  They feel dislodged from the drivers’ seats of their lives, as if watching themselves in a movie.  America, as a nation, seems to be displaying similar pathology—wrenched from patriotism, with vanishing borders, with calls to remove all police, with self-hatred for our national identity.  These are circumstances in which what binds us together can dissolve, leading to extreme infighting between races, genders and those of different sexual orientations.  It’s time to use the pain of these times to find our power, again, as a people.

When Simone Biles decided to not compete in several events at the Tokyo Olympics, she showed she is the only author of her life story and she set the stage for her comeback—in whatever way she chooses.  Remember:  Only YOU can write the next sentence, page or chapter of your own life story.  Pain-2-Power puts the pen in your hand—and only your hand.  

There are three key elements on how to love—another person or yourself.  They’re the essential triad of true love, in friendship, in family or in romantic love. No relationship is truly loving without them.  And no relationship that has all three can be anything less than true love.  

People talk about reinventing themselves, as though adopting a new focus for work or a new outlook after a painful divorce or even a new “look” is enough to change the trajectory of their existences. But, ultimately, re-creating oneself isn’t enough.  That’s because we are born with a unique self is immutable and indestructible.  The journey of a lifetime, the journey that surely can be painful, but which makes us more and more powerful, is re-embracing our true selves.

People talk about recreating themselves.  But that isn’t possible.  You are a creation of God, with unique talents and a unique destiny.  Instead, the goal of your lifetime is to re-embrace yourself.  Become the person you were meant to be from all time.

Why is it I say that sometimes 1 + 1 = 11 in the arithmetic of Pain-2-Power?  Because the power of a partnership — in love, business, politics or anything else—is transformational.  Partners inspire one another and collaborate with one another and reassure one another.  And none of that can be explained by science.  It’s mystical and immeasurable.  A miracle.

Ancient alchemists used the phrase Solve et Coagula—dissolve and reconstruct—to describe the process of turning lead into gold.  First, the lead would have to be broken down into its smallest, infinitesimal parts.  Then, it would be reconstituted in a different architecture—the architecture of gold.  This is a powerful metaphor for extraordinary personal change, often in the face of adversity.  We must be willing to dissolve our preconceptions and our patterns of thought, emotion and behavior and recrystallize them—recrystallize ourSELVES—in more powerful form.

It isn’t weakness when a leader decides to take a different path than one he or she has planned; it’s strength.  Admitting that a new direction is called for, even when lots of work has been expended on the original plan, might be painful, but it’s ultimately a path to power.

It can be a bit painful to take a real and honest look at yourself and your goals and determine what you don’t know, but need to know, in order to achieve them.  After all, who wants to focus on shortcomings.  Well, you do.  Because that honest look is one of the most powerful tools you have to accomplish your goals.  

Regret is a normal human emotion.  But it should yield to insight into the reasons that things didn’t go your way.  And, then, it should be replaced by new dreams and the motivation to achieve them.  

Robert Pirsig, author of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, offered a powerful metaphor for how to free ourselves from values that limit us and hold us hostage.  It’s an image you won’t soon forget, and it’s the starting place for Dr. Ablow’s own thoughts on becoming the person you were truly meant to be.