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VOICES with Amber B Skylar
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VOICES with Amber B Skylar

Author: Amber B Skylar

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Have you ever wanted to talk out loud about being sexually assaulted? Or has society taught you that you were not strong enough to handle it? What about other subjects like single parenting, gaslighting, or women and religion? I am the expert on my trauma and have spent 30 years in therapy for low self-esteem, low self-worth, depression, and anger – all while getting up over and over only to be beat down by the cultural norms. However, even after being raped, suicidal thoughts, sexual harassment, military sexual trauma, homelessness, and surviving against a tsunami of "you can't do it" mindset, I managed to write a book called "Colors of Amber, A Memoir" and won a scholarship to be a yoga teacher from the Kripalu School of Yoga. Writing and yoga shredded years of torment and shame as it cut into my neural sheath – pathways that reminded me that I was female and less than. I once heard a psychiatrist say that “depression is the silencing of the soul”. It hit me. If I ever wanted to feel free, happy, joyful, and to have healthy anger, that talking, writing, speaking, and bringing all the “dirty secrets” to light was the ticket. It would hurt either way. Podcasting is another tool - therapeutic and transforming - that in 2021 gives women a voice and people are listening. In my "VOICES with Amber B Skylar" podcast, I share content to inspire, uplift, and plunge a listener into her/his nature, so you can see it, grieve it, get help and thrive. My goal is to be the voice of those who cannot speak up. I purposefully aim to show what empowerment as a woman really can be – self-inquiry, self-assessment of one's actions, contributions, beliefs. I am committed to my craft will dedicate talent, skill, research, compassion, and relentless energy to uphold the voices of women and the men who love and support them – and to healing future generations of humans. -Amber B Skylar, Author, Colors of Amber, A Memoir (Amazon). Audible version coming in May 2021. Contact: admin@amberbskylar.com
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I got depressed this week, didn't even do my Wednesday episode.  The politics of vaccines, mask fights, people judging each other on whether or not they like Trump or republicans, are the democrats more caring, will doctors really stop treating people without a vaccine?  We talk about freedom to choose and yet we are still battling the issue of abortion.  I follow stories of sexual assault, rape, violence against women and it seems that it makes a headline as long as it feeds to media cycle and their need for funding, or whatever lobbyist is  pushing its political agenda, or its insatiable need for the competitive market of media.  Sensation sells.  It seems that the time for women - has not arrived quite yet.  We still have nation states suppressing women, stopping them from working and we here in the US are going round and round like mice on the wheel of the science of politics, the business of big money, and the fact that institutions are not designed to be good, they are designed to thrive  - no matter the cost.  People, you are expendable.  You are replaceable.  I learned this in the military. Grappling with this as a woman, contributes to my growing cynicism - and feeds the depression of a silenced voice.  And yet, here I am, standing up for the rights and lives of females. It is a lonely path. #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #rape #metoo #violenceagainstwomen #domesticviolence #equalrightsforwomen #voiceofwomen
When I reached out to my marketing team months ago, I was trying to better understand hashtags.  The ones I chose were good, or so I thought.  What I have learned when doing research on - what are the most popular hashtags for women - I was blown away.  amberbskylar.com - contact admin@amberbskylar.com#voiceofamber #voicesofwomen #womensrights #metoo #women #veteran #rape #violenceagainstwomen 
War is going on all over the world and with it comes rape of women and children.  Not only do we keep women uneducated in some cultures like the Afghanistan Taliban regime,(Islamic militants)  we use them like Mommies to cook, clean, and make them cover themselves all under the name of "God" or Allah - or be subjected to stoning, jail, and beheadings. The women are forced to be excluded from society all under some distorted, taken out of context, religious notion/faction,(just like other religions use God for whatever) - which is why any culture would want to keep women as "less than" and not worthy of education.  I learned something recently about how educating women in a culture like this - can help and can also be a huge fear of militants. I am not an expert.amberbskylar.com - contact admin@amberbskylar.comListen to Matt Zeller, Independent Americans Podcast - The Collapse of Afghanistan Why Taliban Don't Want Women to Read#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #womensrights #womensupportingwomen #violenceagainstwomen 
A good thing about 2021 is that we have more vehicles of communication than ever before.  I am 59 now and my entire life I've felt like and been treated like a second class citizen.  When you think about this stuff alone, you feel alone, and maybe even crazy (in the negative way).  But more and more movies and documentaries are talking about #metoo #wagediscrimination #sexualharrassment and so much more and I for one am grateful.  I do not have any women in my life who care enough to be involved in women's activism. It's hard enough just to have a serious conversation. This Netflix documentary #ThisChangesEverything directed by Maria Giese and highlights Geena Davis Institute on Gender.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #veteran #militarysexualtrauma #sexualharrassment #voicesofwomen 
I do not believe that I need to forgive anyone who has hurt, abused, disrected and harmed me in any way.  I sometimes think that forgiveness is used as a cop out - for example, trying to get victims to look the other way, like religious leaders who have asked victims to talk about what happened and then to forgive their attacker.  Victims have been encouraged over and over to "let it go", "god wants you to forgive".  Call me selfish, immature, ungodly, call me whatever you need to call me to help yourself digest the boldness of my viewpoint. It will not change how I feel about forgiveness.  I do not totally disagree with how powerful forgiveness can be, for certain situations, but for victims who have been traumatized, and their experiences minimized and shoved in some mental box for storage under the title "I forgive them" is a cop out to me.  Victims need to be witnessed and heard and they need justice.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #Metoo #forgiveness #womenhelpingwomen
Nike created an ad campaign called #Dreamcrazier - Just do it inspired by the treatment of female athletes who get emotional. I'm so tired of being told that I am "dramatic" because I express emotion.  Not just by men, but by scared, compliant females who need a man to complete them. Even my own brother tries to diminish my expression of anger and call it "drama queen".  So be it.  I am embracing the crazy.  I am embracing my feelings of anger at the amount of violence towards women and the fact that many people just look the other way.  Im angry that people seem to be afraid of angry women.  Or even if a woman simply has an angry response.  People are afraid of women's anger.  Ladies - our anger is our human right.  It frees us from the overwhelming depression that ensues if we look the other way.  The time has come for women to get up and use their voice, critical thinking, skill and talent to advocate for human rights for women.#amberbskylar #justdoit #womeninsports #metoo #womenhelpingwomen
Predators seek out vulnerability.  Society starts training females at a young age to be sweet, feminine, naive and charming.  We are trained that we are not strong enough to hear truth about whats going on with violence against women.  We are not encouraged to fight violence with violence.  Why? A woman alone, carrying groceries to her car at night. A mother with her 2 children, juggling packages, schedules, just trying to live her life. Young, naive women at college, using smiles and provocative clothing to lure a sex partner, topped off with the frat boy and tequila just trying to have a night of fun. When we are under the influence we are perfect targets.  What about just taking a walk in a park in NY?  You don't have to be in a big city to be stalked, attacked, preyed upon - it can and does happen anywhere at anytime - and you don't need to be drunk.  We must lbe more than the girl  good and  and become warriors - always aware and on the look out, ready to defend.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veterans #metoo #sexualassault #violenceagainstwomen 
For a very long time now, females have learned that one of the ways to survive or to achieve more success, they had to be "good".  What does that mean exactly?  Maybe it helped generations of women in the past, in terms of survival, but will it really help future generations?  I think not.#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veteran #metoo #ptsd #mentalhealth #violenceagainstwomen
I'm tired of apologizing for things that I do not need to apologize for.  Women have a tendency to quickly apologize for too many things.  I realize after doing this podcast that I have been apologizing my entire life for just being female.  Even though at times - I'd be burning up with rage or anger for some injustice and I'd hold it in with an apology.  Now, I get it, there is an appropriate time to say "I am sorry" but not always.#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veteran #domesticviolence #metoo #ptsd 
I've had the hardest time actually accepting that I am disabled from Chronic Post Traumatic Stress. When I hear words like "mental illness" even though I know its not an illness, I have cringed over the years of my growth, telling myself I was going to "fix this". I actually had a plan to clean myself up and change - just like that. Only recently, with the help of an excellent therapist, am I beginning to understand my own behavior and life choices, judgments, and my brain and body (Central Nervous System) algorithm - my bodies adaptation and behavioral outcomes that seem permanent and limiting - and what I am learning as I discover more about who I am, who I have become and how all of this has shaped my perception about being alive and human.#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #mentalhealth #ptsd #posttraumaticgrowth #rape #violenceagainstwomen #veteran #mst 
I cannot wrap my mind around the sale of happiness.  It's everywhere.  It's in our constitution - the pursuit of happiness. What is striking to me, is that we do not sell or market/promote our right to feel safe, to face our emotional pain without scrunity, judgment, and shame, and its the excruitiating amount of time it takes for human evolution to teach those that seem weaker, to fight back.  Instead we are lured into ""pleasure"".    Porn, shopping, alcohol, cigarettes, love, gambling, consumption of food, materialism, avoidance of anything to do with mental health, prescription drugs, sex, workalholism, violence. On and on. We are so busy surviving, thriving that we do not have, or make the time, to stop - and face reality. Lifes not a Disney Movie or a cutsey comedic love story.  Even behind the scenes of Hollywood, we have drugs, violent crime, abuse. I talk about my own addiction, and my OCD tendencies toward "cleaning", and strong yearnings for "angels" and other healing modalities that can also be used to avoid, run away from and for some to "survive".  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #domesticviolence #rape #porn #addiction #veteran #ptsd
In the fall/winter 2022, I will be organizing a few events, perhaps a live call in event, and introducing 2-4 guests per month.  I aspire to have a few series on Women and Religion, Religion and Sexual Violence,  different types of trauma, like Institutional Trauma, Trauma and Substance Abuse/Use, Military Sexual Trauma, Sexual Trauma and Legal System, Sex Trafficking, Domestic Violence, Sex, Rape as a War Weapon.  I seek to help victims of trauma to share what its like to live with being a victim/survivor of a violent crime.  We need more of these unpopular stories to help strengthen a person's ability to accept the trauma, and for all listeners to gain strength by listening and ultimately get involved.  You are stronger than you realize. I know what it feels like to face pain.   I get it, people want to feel safe.  The sale and distribution of quick pop psychology of "happiness"  ideas is very alluring because we have been disempowered  to believe we can fight back. In the playing fields of human evolution it is dangerous to keep looking the other way.  Most people do not know until it impacts them personally.  Then they cry out for justice and understanding. We must persue justice, policy change, a louder awareness that inspires more people to stop looking the other way.  It is OK to be a serious person.  Joy and happiness are the rewards when we as human beings face our darker depressive moments that lure us into hiding, avoidance. You make a difference.  Release any attachment to the evidence of this and take action. Share your story with me.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #sexualassault #domesticviolence #veteran #ptsd #anxiety #depression 
As angry, depressed, triggered as I am, I feel it is vital, essential that victims rise up and claim their life back.  How? Your voice.  Your written and spoken word.  Your actions in going after your abuser or attacker.  Calling the police, filing reports, getting involved in victims assistance programs.  I have said this over and over, it is hard either way.  Do nothing or take action.  We must know our truth strength cannot be raped, beaten, or shamed if we unite and take action and support one another.  Not all women or men will support you, they will judge you, try to silence you.  Accept that and plan for it.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #voiceofwomen #violenceagainstwomen #veteran
I heard this term PTSG from a friend.  It's a term used for positive experiences associated with growing from PTSD.  This episode will discuss my growth and how podcasting, writing, speaking helps me move forward (not pain free) as I live and evolve as a human being.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #veteran #ptsd
I've mentioned several times that I would talk about my choice to podcast and what motivates me to be so open.  Im just tired of holding in all of the thoughts and emotions I have, as a mature women, determined to add my voice to the women's movement.  Not perfect, not an expert, just a person listening to myself, looking at my life, looking at the world around me, and growing as a result of my inquiry.  I leave this legacy of thought and experience for my granddaughter to one day remember me, as I truly am.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #womensvoices #metoo #ptsd #veteran
I've been confused about feminism most of my life.  Fear of rejection, judgment, retaliation. Fear of being left out.  Fear of being harassed, hurt, stalked.  Now after researching and learning about the powerful women before me who stood - alone - on the human playing field of life, I feel inspired to own my truth, accept responsibility for the outcome, and to live my life in defense of women and human rights.#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veteran #metoo #rape #freedom #ptsd
I'm all over the map on this topic.  On one hand I know that females are not raped because of their clothing even though historically we tried to make the victims responsible because of what they were wearing.  It was (and sometimes still is) a highly effective prosecutorial strategy to use against  a rape victim, but I personally believe and especially for our younger women that they are being exploited, taught, trained, targeted to be very sexual in social media and/or wherever/however they show up in the world.  As a female, I have personally experienced the impact of the culture defining what is sexy, and then suffering the emotional consequences of not being enough.   #voiceofamber #amberbskylar #metoo #rape #culture #veteran
Did you know that in the 18th century, we used to put a hinged iron framework around a woman's head which gaged her into submission and silence? It was used to publicly humiliate her and to teach other women to keep their mouth shut. Is this hatred, fear, ignorance?  How could a civilization be so cruel and do you feel better knowing we don't do it any longer? Don't be too comfortable, we may not be using a Scold's Bridle today, but we use rape, domestic violence, and other means of torture - in 2021 to keep women quiet. #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #womensrights #violenceagainstwomen #veteran
It's important to keep your eyes wide open, in anything really.  Yoga is just one activity that is easy to target people because of our romanticization of how things are done in the East.   Most people believe yoga came from India.  It did not.  Furthermore, stop glamorizing India.  Its treatment of women is deplorable.  It was women who brought yoga to older women in the US, but since women were not "allowed" or sacred enough, we give credit to a man with long dark hair, with white linen flowing clothing and the easy to lead groups of people followed blindly.   So much to learn.  Look up "the dark side of yoga".  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #voiceofwomen #yoga
We hear so often, that "love is the answer" and yet with the human capacity to  love we still live in a violent world.  How many times have you felt like you were "in love"?  How many times have people told you that you have no choice in who you choose to love?  Fate? Or are we limiting our ability to make choices based on fact, need, passion, and our own capacity to love.  #amberbskylar #voiceofamber #womensvoices #veteran #metoo
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