19 Year Old Shrink

This episode was definitely a bittersweet one to record. After interviewing my father for my first episode, I had the privilege of interviewing him for my last. Throughout this conversation, we talk about the insecurities that come with the adjustment of college to post grad. He discusses how there is the misconception that the fun ends after college, but mentions that our definitions of fun just change, it doesn't end altogether.  Later on, I had the chance to ask him more personal questions about his own life and the memories that he has created, while being able to wrap things up with my own words about the last three years and what all of your support has meant to me. Highly recommend tuning into this episode if you are a college graduate, or if you would like to hear the conclusion of this show!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I reference Merrick Rosenberg's book, "The Chameleon," regarding personality traits and team building. Through his work, he has developed a fun and unique way to have personality research resonate more with readers of his content!I mention the four different birds that he uses to describe the various types of people that exist. Parrot's, doves, owls, and eagles represent our unique society that struggles together as well as thrives together.I incorporate some of my own personal examples of depictions of birds within pop culture, and use experiences from my own life to help crystalize Merrick's points further. If you have ever asked yourself questions regarding your own personality, or want to learn how to communicate better with those with different personalities, I highly recommend checking this episode out!https://merrickrosenberg.com/taking-flight/https://www.amazon.com/Chameleon-Life-Changing-Wisdom-Personality-Someone/dp/0996411003 @19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I address the question that all college graduates have been asked recently, which is "What's Next?" It can definitely be an anxiety provoking question, and could be followed with an uncertain answer. Fortunately, for some people, they have a job lined up right after and can answer! But, there are others who might not have their next step sorted out, or might know exactly what they are doing but it's not the traditional path and are a bit worried about how their career choice is perceived by others. I fall under the third category and talk about my struggles with this, as well as give different techniques to shift your mindset. In addition, I talk about those people who don't have it figured out and ways to give yourself more credit for taking action. Lastly, for those who have their job lined up, I give a bit of advice on how to check in with yourself weekly to track your progress with your exciting new job, and be able to go from there. If you are looking for relatable anecdotes along with advice on different stages of the job search process after graduation, highly recommend checking this one out!@19yearoldshrinkpodcasthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s6DQrqVHxM- Brene Brown Video

In this one I interview my friend Max about his experience training for a triathlon. He breaks down all of the aspects of preparation from mental to physical to emotional  prep. He brings up his initial experiences with meditation, having good nutrition, and the importance of having an accountability partner when trying to accomplish a goal.Through this talk you’ll be able to learn more about the different dimensions that bring success and how to balance your energy in those places. One other important point that was talked about was knowing when to give yourself a break and accept that you won’t always be perfect in training. Max gives a specific example of this and why giving yourself that break is necessary. If you’re looking to challenge yourself for a triathlon, marathon, or any other goal, tune in for more!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode. I talk about a concept that I discovered through Mel Robbins. She mentions the five second rule as a helpful technique for when you experience anxiety in your life. Whenever an intrusive thought comes into your mind, count down from 5 and then find your way to your anchor thought. This thought can be anything that brings you ease; something funny, memorable, or a happy thought. An example I talked about was Happy Gilmore's "Happy Place" in the movie, when he was getting frustrated. In addition, I mention using the five second rule to act in time sensitive opportunities. Whenever you have some opportunity in your life that won't last long, whether it's introducing yourself to a potential partner or someone in business, these are examples of that. The five second rule can be a useful technique to create that structure in your life where you commit to following through on something unconditionally. We all have been in places where these thoughts come into play, so tune in for more helpful tips!https://wisdom-for-life.com/5-second-rule-for-anxiety/@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

This episode is about all things acting! I interviewed my friend Peter and acquaintance Cole to understand the psychology behind acting and everything that goes into portraying a certain character. From stories of Chex mix urges gone wrong to understanding how to reveal a certain emotion through acting, one can begin to understand all of the intricacies behind the industry. Both Peter and Cole gave such valuable insight into their own experience and skills, which was a pleasure to hear about. Tune in for more, link in bio!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode I talk about how more structure in life can lead to having more freedom. I use an example of waiting until the last minute to do your homework to hangout with friends and then worrying the entire time that you’re with your friends to finish that assignment. The idea of anticipating instead of reacting is a topic brought up multiple times where someone takes the time out of their day to plan their schedule out so they can leave time for the things they enjoy. If you sometimes struggle with waiting until the last minute to do something or feel trapped in different tasks because of lack of planning, tune in for some advice!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I talk about learning how to become more self reliant and how this allows us to develop more confidence. After reading a valuable article from forbes, I began to learn more about why self reliance is so important. Some of the points it referenced were ones ability to think independently, know ones values, and to use our own references to help make decisions. I added some of my own experiences in addition to the ones in the article. One of these is understanding our own values and motives for life and using a "Filter" to eliminate anything that isn't valuable or best suited for our own development as people. So, an important takeaway is to realize that being self reliant doesn't mean never taking any advice from anyone. But, my opinion about being self reliant is understanding our own core values and embracing the insights of other people if they are making a positive impact on our own lives. But, if they aren't learning to disregard advice is really valuable. Another point about self reliance is realizing that no person goes it alone. Every person that has ever been successful in life has built a team around them to grow themselves out of their comfort zone. But, from my own experience, what impacts this is when someone else wants something for you when you might not want it for yourself. Where your parent wants this job for you, or wants this relationship for you, you may take the steps to pursue these things but it isn't what YOU really want. And when this happens, we sometimes fall victim to relying on other people for what they want for us. This episode talks about all things self confidence, and how we can build a healthy balance of relying on our own intuition while also building a positive and uplifting team around us to become better individuals for ourselves and others. Tune in for more!@19yearoldshrinkpodcastForbes Article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2019/10/17/how-self-reliance-builds-your-self-confidence/?sh=5d8d05932e57

In this episode I talk about being helpful without giving advice. This is something I still to this day am learning to do but it can sometimes be difficult.Our friends come to us looking for comfort or to vent, and we always feel like we need to offer answers. This allows us to feel like we are giving them something in return for what they expected, but sometimes they don’t necessarily need advice.Maybe they are looking to have an objective opinion, actual advice, or even a shoulder to cry on.  And having a conversation before the conversation about the goals of the talk can be really helpful for having a healthy dialogue. Learning what your friend is looking for and then going from there.If they do ask for advice though, learning to guide them to their own answers through the questions you ask can be a powerful tactic to help them.  For more info in the episode, tune in for more!

In this episode I talk about how we use defense mechanisms in our lives. Didn’t really know what defense mechanisms were until I took one of my classes this semester and realized how much we sometimes use them.Basically, defense mechanisms are used as a way to protect our ego and to lessen anxiety that we might experience in life. Some of the defense mechanisms are rationalization, projection, denial, which are all done as a way to keep the negativity off of us. One of the ones I think we see most often is rationalization.We might choose not to study for a test as much as we should or eat poorly, but we say, “It’s alright everyone is doing it.” If we were to take the fault for those things ourselves, it would be a lot more uncomfortable to our ego. But when we feel in community with others in our shortcomings, then we feel at peace.Later on in the episode, I talk about different ways we can recognize these defense mechanisms playing out in our lives, and how we can grow from this awareness. Tune in for more!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

We often have a negative bias towards anxiety. In this episode, I explain how we can view anxiety from a positive perspective. In my own life, I look at anxiety as having 3 tiers. Tier 1: A place where we aren't really acting too much and would have too little anxiety. An example of this would be knowing a test is coming up but not paying attention to the material or the deadline. Tier 2: This IS the sweet spot. This is where you have enough anxiety where you are alerted to act, but don't let that idea consume your thoughts with worry. This would be knowing that an exam is coming up, and creating a study guide and plan a couple weeks in advance so that you avoid Tier 3 anxiety. Tier 3: This is where you are worrying too much. I think this is where we often associate the negative connotations with anxiety.  You have reached a place where worry is getting in the way of you acting and being productive. This is where all you are focusing on is the "What if's" of failing the test. And instead of being action oriented, you crumble under pressure and focus solely on the worrying. For the rest of this episode, I focus on how you can use this understanding of anxiety to your advantage in whatever way works best for you! That is up to you to decide and to become aware of in your life. But, if you are someone who has had a difficult relationship with anxiety, definitely tune in today!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I talk about the Wayne Dyer Quote, “Be open to everything and attached to nothing.” I think it is such a valuable mentality to have in our lives and embracing all new experiences that come our way.I talk about the movie, “Yes Man” with Jim Carey, which is a perfect example of this. He starts out having a very glass half empty personality, always blowing his friends off to sit home and sulk. But, after being approached by a man who called him out for his negativity, he attended this convention called Yes.He was told that he must say yes to everything and see where life takes him. Of course this is an exaggeration where we can’t say yes to everything, but it was a helpful reminder. Carey’s character began seeing more excitement in his life and he felt more alive.Then, there’s the flip side to it where we need to learn to be open to things and not be attached to them. Allowing ourselves to realize what is in our control and what is not. And from there we can live the most free version of our life and see our experiences transform in front of us. Tune in for more!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

This episode breaks down how we develop our own unique personalities and what domains influence the different traits we develop. Topics of environment, upbringing, biology, and more help dive more deeply into this issue. Tune in for more!

In this episode I talk about overanalyzing situations and how it can lead to us hurting our own feelings. It can become easy to read too easily into other peoples actions and create a story around why they are acting a certain way.We begin reflecting back on every little detail that we said and start worrying whether we might have hurt their feelings. And this might not be everyone, maybe it’s just me. But after awhile, we find out that they were upset with something completely unrelated to us, and then we realize how much time we wasted over thinking.Additionally, I will talk about ways in which we might hurt our own feelings by over analyzing and how others have helped me and can help you get to a better place. Tune in for more!

In this episode, Howard Behar talks about how he helped build the Starbucks Empire with Howard Shultz and Orin Smith. Throughout this talk, he alludes to servant leadership as the key to success in this business venture.Recognizing relationships and people as the ultimate factor in creating a successful business, I learned so much about the human factor of life. Howard wrote 2500 letters every month to employees for birthdays and company anniversaries as a way to foster recognition and community in the company.In addition, he coined the phrase, “the person that sweeps the floor should choose the broom.” Sometimes it’s difficult for CEOs to let go of the control of their company, but Howard emphasized giving the people power so they can feel they have a say in the company.This talk was such a humbling conversation as someone who is entering the professional world. Understanding that someone who helped expand from 28 to over 15,000 in 5 continents key to success was relationships was a very important lesson that I and others can benefit from.If you want to hear more about the Starbucks history and their steps to make it to the company it is today, tune in for more!Howards Contact Info:hb@howardbehar.com206-972-7776

In this episode I talk with my friend Summer who is currently a marketing data analyst at Deloitte. She breaks down why she began to budget and how she organizes her budgeting in her own life.She talks about the greater amount of freedom she has had because of the structure in her spending habits. Through this talk, I was able to see how much taking the time out of your day to budget can allow you to say yes to opportunities.As the episode continues, Summer talks more about how she has learned to budget her time and different pieces of advice she has for those who may be entering a new chapter of their life after college.  Through this, I learned how everyone has a different meaning attached to money, and her ability to spend the time managing it has allowed her to have such amazing experiences that she can say yes to. Tune into this episode for more information!@19yearoldshrinkpodcastlinkedin.com/in/slee209

With graduation looming, I talk about a feeling that a lot of people have probably experienced at one point in time. You may not have found a job yet or might not even know what to do, and it can be scary.And what we do in those situations is begin measuring ourselves against others, “They figured out in October, they are better than me.” “Why don’t I have as many interviews as this person? All of these thoughts trigger negativity and we begin attributing it to our identity.And this doesn’t need to be with jobs but with everything in life. Whether it be doing chores around the house, traveling, getting married, we constantly are comparing ourselves to others.There is always these timelines for us to get things done. Get a job after college, get married by 30, the list goes on. But what we can appreciate is that even the most successful people, did it in the most unconventional way.And this episode will break down this struggle and talk about ways to have a different perspective. Being able to appreciate that we all need to go our own path and not get too wrapped up in the expectations of what we are told. If this is something that you struggle with or see close ones struggling with, tune in for more info!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast 

In this episode, I talk about using delayed gratification as a means to build self confidence. Many times, it's easy to watch that extra episode of The Office, or eat that extra slice of pizza, or scroll on Instagram for another hour. We choose to do this instead of the more beneficial and long lasting solution for happiness. And from my own struggles with this, I have realized that it's because we have a better idea of what that pleasure feels like with things in the present moment. We are able to have a greater imagination of what that pleasure feels like because it is more tangible than something that is a year down the line. We won't be able to see and feel the rewards a year from now of running everyday until a year from now. And because of this, we sometimes fail to do the right thing and consequently resort to those immediate pleasures. Throughout this talk, I use meditation as an example of something that makes our future rewards more desirable because we take the time to visualize those rewards. As a result, we are able to bring our less imagined rewards to the present for us to make more sound and beneficial decisions. In addition, I discuss using journaling as a way to record the things we say no to as a way to give us proof we aren't always choosing the easy and convenient thing. All of these habits are used as ways to delay gratification and to build more self confidence in every area of our life. If you struggle to make long lasting decisions towards happiness, definitely tune in!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I talk about why we use excuses in so many areas of life. Sometimes we attribute being busy as a legitimate excuse. But when doing this, we need to contemplate whether that thing we are trying to avoid is that important to us. And if it is, then why are we getting consumed with less important things in our life? Those things that we truly value in life should supersede any other tasks on our daily agenda. As the episode continues, I talk about how our excuses can also give us insight into the things that we can learn to say no to in our life. This part recognizes the process of contemplation as a way to narrow in on those things that we value most in our life. If you are someone who finds themselves making excuses consistently or are around people that do, tune in for more information!@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode I talk about our mindsets with our friendships at times. Sometimes we feel as though we are reaching out to some of our friends much more than they are to us. And we can get in our head about it and think we are bothering them when we are doing that.But, after a conversation with my dad, he taught me a very valuable lesson about never keeping score in friendships. When we feel discouraged and hesitant about reaching out to people that we have become really close with over the years, that in itself can hurt our friendships.And through this episode, we will learn about ways to reconsider those negative thoughts about our friendships in our life. Tune in for more!