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Circling the Drain
Author: Ellie Dvorkin Dunn & Julia Granacki
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© 2024 Circling the Drain
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A podcast about the period BEFORE you stop getting your period. The concept of a woman "circling the drain" conjures up negative imagery for some, but the origin of this as the name of the podcast has a story. A friend, in her 30's at the time, was listing her ailments to a male physician who clearly had a terrible bedside manner, because he responded to her complaints by shrugging his shoulders in a dismissive fashion and saying something like, "I don't know what to tell you. From now on, you're basically just circling the drain!" Co-hosts Ellie and Julia have been laughing at the audacity of this tone-deaf interaction ever since, and when they decided to start this podcast about the plight of the aging woman, they chose to reclaim and repurpose the phrase in the spirit of humor. Every human on the planet is circling the drain from the moment we are born. The question is, how slowly and gracefully can we spiral? And can we minimize the discomfort while we whirl? Perimenopausal co-hosts Ellie and Julia take a deep dive into the sometimes embarrassing, often hilarious, and always bewildering issues of the hormonal changes that take place in midlife. Through honest accounts, thoughtful interviews, and group panel discussions, their mission is to make you chuckle, make you nod your head in recognition, and hopefully make some scientific progress.
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Send us a textMonique Cupid and Dixie Lincoln-Nichols are menopausal women who met up during the pandemic to talk about work for a project. Without fail, at every weekly meeting, the conversation drifted to menopause, the symptoms each of them was experiencing, and the frustrations they felt about the lack of support, resources, equity, and community. Together, they formed Life in the Pause, with the mission of transforming the menopause journey into an empowered and celebrated experience thr...
Send us a textLately, as we have gotten older and our preferences have changed, we have been wondering, "What is fun?" Robin Gelfenbien, the self-proclaimed Ambassador of Fun, is the perfect person to answer that question. Right out of college, Robin was chosen out of thousands of people to drive the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, and her experience provided excellent fodder for her acclaimed solo show "My Salvation Has a First Name: A Wienermobile Journey”. She has had several other fun jobs from...
Send us a textKatie Fogarty will make you feel like turning 50 is the best thing that could ever happen to you. She is the host of A Certain Age, an age-positive podcast that helps you live your best evolving midlife—loud and proud. She is also the creator of the Age Out Loud movement, a platform which aims to spotlight as many stories of midlife awesomeness as possible. On top of all that, she is the founder and CEO of The Reboot Group, helping professionals build great careers, which includ...
Send us a textHow does a child of deaf adults who grew up in a tin shed with no running water or electricity witness her father commit a violent crime and then grow up to be the joyful owner of a comedy venue? Kambri Crews will tell you how! Author of the acclaimed New York Times best selling book Burn Down the Ground and sole owner and operator of Q.E.D. which was voted #1 comedy club in NYC by Time Out NY, Kambri is a damn delight. Her message, "Life's Tough. Laugh More." is evident as she ...
Send us a textWe chose this episode with Dr. Rachel Rubin as our final encore of the year because she is the person who has given us the most practical, valuable, and easily shareable information to help women with their genitourinary functions as they age. Dr. Rubin is a board-certified urologist and sexual medicine specialist who dropped so much knowledge and helpful information into one conversation that our puny little brain-sponges got super-soaked. Listen to learn about the two little-k...
Send us a textFor our first encore episode, we chose the inspiring pair of Michelle and Joan MacDonald. Not only are they glorious examples of what a healthy body can achieve after midlife, they seem to have an enviable mother-daughter bond that is beautiful to witness. These women broke the internet after Michelle, a body builder and transformation coach, guided her then 70-year-old mother through a process that resulted in life-changing weight loss and the subsequent elimination of a slew o...
Send us a textMeghann Koppele Duffy is a cofounder of the Neuro Studio, a premier education and movement company helping people living with neurological conditions move better, and teaching movement professionals the best cutting edge techniques to work with people living with Neurological Conditions. Meghann is a fast-talking, zero BS practitioner who has been called the Larry David of Pilates because she is skilled at "observing weird things". She claims to not be everyone's cup of tea, but...
Send us a textGermany-based comedian Abigail Paul says that co-host Ellie is her oldest friend. Not her most elderly friend, but the friend she has known the longest. She met co-host Julia a few years later, making all three of them VERY ELDERLY/OLD FRIENDS. That should entice you to listen to this episode, because richness of history makes for juicy conversation. Abigail moved to Germany as a young adult because she was "on the lam", trying to escape her abusive and narcissist mother, whose ...
Send us a textBlaire Postman is a comedian who was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and then embraced it as a super-power. She created a solo show called Lady ADHD: Hilariously Mind Blowing Observations from a Hyper-Insightful Brain. Due to a current medication shortage, we got to interview Blaire ten days into "going commando", and we talked about emotional dysregulation, song-stimming, and how a performance piece about a topic like ADHD can make audiences feel seen and not alone. We can rela...
Send us a textDr. Kimberly Mangla is a reproductive psychiatrist who works collaboratively with the obstetrics department at Mt. Sinai Hospital in NYC. She is involved in the teaching and supervision of psychotherapy and medication management during pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause. She also happens treat Julia's Adult ADHD, and in honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we asked her ALL of the questions. What is ADHD, and why do many women not discover this diagnosis until adulthood? How can some...
Send us a textDr. Maria Uloko is fired up, and we are right there with her. As the first ever Black female Urology student at her university, she has been trailblazing for the entirety of her career. Dr. Uloko specializes in comprehensive sexual health which includes the medical and surgical management of ALL genders. She is considered a world leader in chronic pelvic pain and vulvar conditions, she believes in empowering her patients to take ownership of their sexual health by providing a sh...
Send us a textRachel E. Gross is an award-winning science journalist who wrote an incredible book called Vagina Obscura which was a finalist for the 2023 Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Nonfiction. Go ahead and be impressed, but do not be intimidated. Rachel will enthrall you with stories of outlandish treatments for ailments that plague people with female reproductive systems, including a personal tale involving rat poison and her own vagina. She takes us back through history to when...
Send us a textLeoh Blooms is a queer, fluid, and nonbinary-trans trauma-informed mentor and Pro Dom. Everything they do in their practice focuses on intimacy, mental health, gender, sex, and practical self-care. They help clients aged 21 and up to create lives they don't need to hide from by offering various levels of support in a power dynamic format, using kink for fun and as a healing modality. Listen to Leoh talk about coming out at the age of 45, jumping through medical hoops when a gend...
Send us a textDr. Wendy Suzuki is a professor of Neural Science and Psychology and author of two incredible books, Good Anxiety and Healthy Brain, Happy Life. Her TED talk, The Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise, has more than 60 million views, making it the 2nd most viewed TED talk of 2018. In spite of our awe, we managed to pick her fancy brain about many things, like how hormonal changes can lead to increased anxiety, tips for building resilience and staying motivated to exercise, and wha...
Send us a textDr. Aiesha Turman does so many things and she does them with JOY. She is the kind of teacher that students keep in touch with for the rest of their lives, which is a rare and special thing. We totally get the appeal, because we had the best time talking to her about Reiki, Afrofuturism, literature, her work on the incredible award-winning documentary Crip Camp, and the differences AND similarities between the hormonal transitions of her mother, her daughter, and herself. You'll ...
Send us a textSinglehood is not a broken state that requires fixing. This is the core message of our guest, Shani Silver, who deleted her dating apps in 2019 and has been infinitely happier ever since. Shani reminds us that dating apps are a for-profit industry that stand to benefit from keeping you single rather than helping you find love, and they often deplete your self worth and mental health. Author of the fantastic book A Single Revolution: Don't Look for a Match. Light One. and host of...
Send us a textHave you ever heard of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) also known as "Tapping"? Sarah Louise Lilley became an EFT Practitioner after her husband's stroke, and she is here to tell us more about that life-changing day, to explain EFT, and dispel any misconceptions you might have about it. If you're looking for a simple tool that can help reframe negative mindsets, help you calm yourself in a moment of distress, and help you cope with frustration over your newfound peri-menopausa...
Send us a textJamie Phillips is a mensch. A seasoned nonprofit professional, she is grateful to have had the opportunity to provide services to uplift immigrants, refugees, isolated older adults, returning citizens, people who are unhoused, those experiencing mental health challenges, and those recovering from addiction. She was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer five months into the pandemic, and has since become passionate about amplifying the experiences of queer and gender expansive...
Send us a textWhen we met Dr. Stacia Alexander at a menopause symposium, we were instantly drawn to her energy, magnetism, and hot-pink-suit-wearing confidence. A seasoned psychotherapist, she has worked with professional women helping them understand that the journey to success does not make them immune to emotional and cognitive changes. Her most recent work focuses on the importance of accessing mental health care early, and she has even written a book that we wish we had read almost 30 (!...
Send us a textIt's our 50th episode and we are celebrating in style! Lizz Winstead is a name that we have had on our "dream guest" list since we first brainstormed this podcast, and wonder of wonders, our dream came true. Co-creator of The Daily Show and co-founder of Air America Radio, Lizz is a legendary comedian and writer who is a badass in every sense of the word. She is currently devoting her energy to activism, having founded Abortion Access Front, co-hosting their podcast Feminist Buz...
Send us a textOur loyal listeners know that Ellie has been fretting about her low libido ever since the first episode of this show. She continues to search for answers because she knows she's not alone, and that many of YOU are also grappling with this issue for various reasons. Well... we finally got you a SEX therapist! This episode features Dr. Elisabeth Gordon, an Integrative Sexual Health Psychiatrist and Sex Therapist who talks to us about the different kinds of desire, how to tackle l...
Send us a textWhen we saw Dr. Vonda Wright's medical specialty - orthopedic sports medicine surgeon specializing in shoulder, hip and knee arthroscopy for athletes and active people of all ages - we knew that she would have a lot to contribute to our ongoing conversation about the effects of perimenopause on all of our different body parts. However, we had no idea that we would be having a chat with one of the most upbeat, inspiring women we have ever had the pleasure of interviewing, and tha...
Send us a textSometimes we bring you medical experts or health and wellness specialists, and other times we interview women with fascinating backgrounds and unique experiences in hopes that you might relate, feel seen, and if something funny comes up, laugh. This is one of those episodes. Sabina Vajrača is a Bosnian-American director/writer/producer who immigrated to the U.S. as a war refugee, and her dear friend Flora Natalia Diaz is a Jewish-Uruguayan actor, and one of those moms whose preg...
Send us a textYou've heard of CBD, but what about CBG? CBN? PHA? Katelynn Nguyen, founder of Willow Kay, is here to teach us about all of it. Willow Kay is a green and clean wellness and skincare company offering a variety of formulations to help improve sleep, care for problematic skin, and induce calm. Not only are Katelynn's products devoid of chemicals and endocrine disruptors, her packaging is entirely eco-conscious, having created the world’s first backyard compostable cosmetic jar that...
Send us a textMargit Detweiler is the epitome of cool. A survivor of ovarian cancer, she embraced her post-chemo white hair, styled it into a punk pixie, and sealed it with a bold lip. But her coolness goes far deeper than her outward style. Margit is the founder of TueNight, a platform dedicated to amplifying the stories of Gen-X women, and president of Gyrate Media, an award-winning content strategy and editorial development firm. This three-time Webby honoree gave us her honest opinion on ...
Send us a textMarch is Sleep Awareness Month. Who knew? Our new favorite sleep expert knew! Morgan Adams is a holistic sleep coach for women, whose clients refer to her as their "sleep soulmate". Poor sleep is one of the major complaints we hear from women in midlife, and Morgan offers us potential solutions that are easy to implement and won't cost you a dime. If you're like us, you have tried everything to get the kind of sleep you got in your youth, so it's well worth listening to Morgan t...
Send us a textRicki Lake (yes, THAT Ricki Lake) and Abby Epstein have worked together on some groundbreaking documentaries which you should watch immediately if you haven't yet done so. The Business of Being Born changed the way we looked at birthing options and medical interventions, and their most recent collaboration, The Business of Birth Control, examines the complex relationship between hormonal birth control and women’s health and liberation. Both women are brilliant and down-to-earth,...
Send us a textWhen Emily Barclay learned that the word "perimenopause" applied to her, she went online to seek out help and support and found that it simply didn’t exist. Instead of dissolving into a pool of her own hormonal tears and sweat, she set up Perimenopause Hub, bringing together experts across different disciplines from around the world and creating a community where women could feel less alone. As if that and her pink and turquoise hair weren't cool enough, she prides herself on ha...
Send us a textWe like to think that if we had written a book, it would be Heather Corinna's What Fresh Hell is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You. Heather writes about "the pause" with all of the humor and realness you would expect from a title like that, but what makes the book so unique is its inclusivity. And if that word makes you think this episode is going to spew preachy wokeness all over you, think again. Heather schools us on things like "ableism" and "otheri...
Send us a textThere are so many different issues that can affect us in midlife, and it can be frustrating to try and find medical professionals who can address more than one of these at a time. Modern Age is a New York City-based longevity clinic offering expert, proactive care for how you look and how you feel. Here to tell us more about what they offer is Dr. Shoma-Datta-Thomas, whose experience treating complex gynecological conditions has informed her philosophy around providing highly pe...
Send us a textListeners... we're really going for it on our year-end wrap-up. At this point, we assume you have been listening regularly and that you don't need us to review every single guest we've loved and every lesson we've learned, so we decided to have a blast going rogue. Join us as we roll a set of sexy dice given to Ellie by her husbo, we review a map of porn fetishes broken down by U.S. state (sent to Julia by HER husband), and perform a dramatic reading of a particularly contentiou...
Send us a textSari Botton is a bestselling author, editor, and teacher with decades of experience, and we got to benefit from that life experience through engaging in a delightful AF chat with her. We discuss how the idea for Oldster Magazine came to her in a dream, how it took her a long time to stop people-pleasing and come into her own, and how she uses a multi-purpose cream called Egyptian Magic for a true MULTITUDE of purposes. She also shares how a doctor refused to tell her the p...
Send us a textEllie was hanging out with a few of her friends when she overheard one of them talking about growing up with a sister who was in a famous rock band. Ellie said, "I didn't know this about you! Who is your sister?" Ellie then learned that her friend, Elizabeth Hanley-Grande, is the younger sister of Kay Hanley, lead singer of the band Letters to Cleo, whose hit single "Here and Now" was featured on the Melrose Place soundtrack and reached No. 10 on the Billboard Modern Rock Single...
Send us a textEver heard of Shittens? They are disposable, mitten-shaped moist wipes that were created because "no one wants poop on their hands". Rachel Fine, our dear friend of over 20 years, is one of the inventors of Shittens, but she's so much more than that! You might know her as host of various shows on Howard Stern TV, reporter for Travel Channel's Paranormal Paparazzi, singer and songwriter of the album "Own Your Own", chief ambassador of the MacDella Cooper Foundation, and co-owner ...
Send us a textTamsen Fadal and Jo Lamarca Mathisen call themselves Meno Sisters. They hit it off after a mutual friend "thrust them together" because of how much they both seemed to enjoy talking about menopause, and have remained extremely close ever since. Tamsen is an Emmy award-winning journalist and NYC news anchor who recently created #MenopauseTok on TikTok to bring creators together to share their menopause journey, and Jo (who has also won a few Emmys!) is the former Executive Produc...
Send us a textOmisade-Burney Scott is the coolest. She is the creator/curator of The Black Girls’ Guide to Surviving Menopause, a multimedia project engaged in culture and narrative shift work which includes, among other things, a podcast, a zine titled Messages From The Menopausal Multiverse, and the Say More Card Deck, which is a collection of conversation and journaling prompts that empower you to deepen your relationships with people in, preparing for, or supporting loved ones through men...
Send us a textDoes the idea of meditating make you want to roll your eyes? Take a nap? Punch yourself in the face? We get it, and so does Mark Price. Our first ever male guest humbly joins us to talk about Vedic Meditation, also known as TM (Transcendental Meditation), and how incorporating this practice into your daily routine can help with stress, sleep disturbances, aggression, and many of the other perimenopausal symptoms we often discuss. If you're thinking this is too "woo woo" for you,...
Send us a textIf you're like us, you have been frustrated with the lack of adequate perimenopause and menopause care provided (or NOT provided) by your current medical team. Enter Elektra Health, a digital health company with a mission to smash the menopause taboo by empowering women with evidence-based education, care & community. We were lucky to speak with Laura Stratte, their Program & Operations Manager, and Jacqueline Giannelli, one of their founding Nurse Practitioners who has ...
Send us a textLiz Applegate is a life coach and fellow podcaster, whose show "Midlife Schmidlife" was born when she googled the term "midlife" and what came back was "the wrong side of 40". After talking to Liz, we believe she is on the right side of just about everything. Listen as we discuss the concept of "shoulding", undiagnosed postpartum depression, and whether 50-somethings should exclusively be wearing caftans. Emotions run the gamut as Ellie wants to be Liz's new bestie, and Julia ge...
Send us a textWhen we get comedians and storytellers on the pod, they do not hold back. Michele Carlo and Sheria Mattis take us on the most terrific tangents, touching on Nuyorican vs. Jamaican culture, getting pounded by strap-ons after menopause, and the wild world of foot worship, all while dropping deep insightful wisdom that makes us scream YASSSSS! We also adopt the word "casseroles" as our new favorite euphemism, shake our fists at a male gyno's incompetence regarding the copper IUD, a...
Send us a textAileen Weintraub is an award-winning author, journalist, and editor, as well as the human home to three giant fibroid tumors. The discovery of these many years ago led to several months of forced bed rest during her pregnancy, but the silver lining (for us) was that the ordeal inspired her to write Knocked Down: A High-Risk Memoir. We devoured this book in about a week because it is hilarious, relatable, and compelling. You should buy a copy right now, but first, listen to...
Send us a textWe didn't know it was possible to find a pair of women willing to discuss boobs and vaginas and poop in as vivid detail as we do, but the universe granted us Ashley Hearon Smith and Keri Sotaro, and we couldn't be happier. Co-hosts of the popular Momtourage podcast, these hilarious women are known to drop a plethora of f-bombs about parenting, thus making them the relatable mom group rejects you didn’t know you needed. This episode covers the magical combo platter of postpartum ...
Send us a textOur heads have officially exploded, people. Dr. Rachel Rubin is a board-certified urologist and sexual medicine specialist who dropped so much knowledge and helpful information into one conversation that our puny little brain-sponges got super-soaked. Listen to learn about the two little-known FDA-approved drugs that actually help women's libidos with no negative side effects, why you should be using local vaginal estrogen twice a week for the rest of your life, and how even a d...
Send us a textHow many hoops does a lesbian couple have to jump through in order to have a child? What is an intimacy coordinator? Whose hormones pull rank in a two-woman household where one is postpartum and the other is perimenopausal? Brooke Haney and Desi Waters join us to ponder these questions and even answer a few of them. We also discuss intolerance for uncomfortable shoes, experience brain fog before your very ears, and celebrate our one year pod-i-versary! Are we poddy trained yet? ...
Send us a textGeorgia Clark is a novelist, performer, and screenwriter. She's the author of the newly released Island Time, as well as It Had To Be You, The Bucket List, and others. She is also the host and founder of the popular storytelling night, Generation Women, which Ellie has performed in and which we wholeheartedly love and recommend. At the time of this recording, Georgia's wife was very pregnant with the human who is now their daughter, and though Georgia has not yet had to co...
Send us a textHilary Russo does everything. She is an award-winning television journalist, producer and multimedia host, a Certified Integrative Nutrition Holistic Health Coach & Havening Techniques® Practitioner, a cast member of Daily Burn 365, professor of Mass Communications at St. John’s University, AND she has her own podcast: HIListically Speaking. As if that weren't enough to talk about, we discuss dating in a pandemic in your late 40's, nicknaming the amygdala "Amy", and learning...
Send us a textCan you use "Covid" and "abortion" in the same sentence? We can and we did. More on that in today's special bonus episode where we talk about Julia's abortion, Ellie's mother's pre-Roe abortion, and Ellie's grandmother's illegal abortion in 1960's London... a discussion that was inspired by the current climate as well as Alison Leiby's one-woman show, "Oh God, A Show About Abortion." If you too are feeling white hot rage in reaction to the SCOTUS draft decision...
Send us a textSince the launch of this podcast, we have been promising to interview a mental health specialist to talk about perimenopausal anxiety and depression, and just in time for Mental Health Awareness Month, we got the best one ever! Donna Klassen is not only a licensed clinical social worker with more than 30 years of experience, she is the co-founder and CEO of Let's Talk Menopause, a nonprofit organization invested in changing the conversation around menopause so women get the info...
Send us a textNicky Smith (AKA Nicky Styles) is a fashion stylist and Emmy-nominated costume designer who has worked on TV shows such as The Americans, Ramy, and Pose. Cheri Paige Fogleman is a celebrity trainer and fitness instructor who teaches on the live, daily fitness show, Daily Burn 365. Both are in their 40's and Cheri is TTC (an acronym for "trying to conceive"), while Nicky is grappling with fibroids. We're sure you will enjoy their range of perspectives, from using an insuran...
Send us a textFunctional nutritionist Kristin Johnson and functional health coach Maria Claps are the co-founders of Wise and Well, where they work with peri-menopausal and menopausal women in both one-on-one and group formats to create fundamental hormonal and whole health transformations. They joined our conversation "feeling salty", and we got to reap the benefits as they went off on how access to HRT is impaired by the Big Pharma-controlled government, how low Estradiol should NOT be take...
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