Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris

Have you ever heard of a Certified Divorce Coach?  I recently met and had the pleasure of interviewing Debra Doak.  Debbie is a Certified Divorce Coach.  She helps with those hard decisions concerning marriage, divorce, money and life.  My initial exposure to Debbie was based on a presentation she did about Financial Abuse.  And boy, was I blown away with her expertise. I was simply amazed with her wealth of knowledge in regard to helping anyone making difficult decisions in terms of marriage.  I am including a link to her website.  https://debradoak.com/Debbie can also be located on Facebook and InstagramDebbie has published a book helping women with coping strategies considering divorce:  https://www.amazon.com/High-Conflict-Divorce-Women-Coping-Strategies/dp/1641528192/Cheers & see you on the next episode!Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In this week's episode, I share some listener feedback. I was simply wowed at  the folks who reached out to me to share their trauma experiences. I was equally amazed how certain therapies, including EMDR really helped them.  Some of the listeners I spoke to talked about the gravity of their trauma such as: abuse, molestation, death, addiction, racial trauma and many other forms of trauma. I took solace in the fact that my experience and willingness to share about my trauma normalized  experience for others.    As this is a financial podcast, I would like to bring the aspect of finance full circle.  A certification I obtained (Certified Financial Transitionist®-CeFT®) a  few years ago has really allowed me to hone my personal and professional experience for that of my clients.  In case you are not familiar with CeFT®.  A Certified Financial Transitionist® is trained to help clients through major life events and the financial transitions that accompany them.  Basically, I am trained to incorporate the emotional side of money with the technical side and guide clients accordingly.  Often times emotions conflict with very literal functions of money.   Hope you enjoy the episode.Cheers and be well!#trauma #traumatherpy #griefSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

Welcome back to Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris episode 2. In this episode, I go into further detail about trauma. Listen in as I provide a personal example as well as the emotional and physical effects. Trauma is not something we create, but something from which we recover.   I also provide a link, which details the dramatic effects on both the mind and body.  themind.org.uk  See you on the next episode.Cheers and be well.  Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

Welcome back to Real Talk with Life After Grief Chris.  We have made it to Season 6 with a tremendous amount of support.  This season is all about Trauma.On the heels of releasing a lot of information at the tail end of Season 5, I thought a natural extension would be a deep dive into trauma.  As trauma can very emotional and triggering, I am going to be very thoughtful as to any potential guests as I do not want to place on unfair burden on their journey.I will share my own experiences and speak in generalities relating to the experience of others.  My hope is that I lay a path for folks experiencing trauma to get the support they need.As always, I will relate these experiences back to finance.  I mentioned the American Psychological Association in the podcast as a reference to exploring and understanding trauma.   https://www.apa.org/topics/traumaHere is a direct quoted explaining trauma in detail.    "Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships, and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea.While these feelings are normal, some people have difficulty moving on with their lives. Psychologists can help them find constructive ways of managing their emotions."This quote sums up my personal experience with trauma.  I also find this to be a relatable explanation for many others.    See you on the next episode.Cheers and be well.  #traumarecovery #traumahealing #SuperSurvivor  #childabuse #therapy #healingjourney #healingtrauma #FinancialPlanning #FinancialAdvisorSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

Allow me to Re-Introduce myself..... I have been leading up to some very traumatic stuff that has happened in  life. I thought that I should lead up to the next podcast (where I fully disclose) with my initial  introduction before I could no longer hide what transpired.  Below is what I used to introduce myself on my inaugural podcast. I am  both a financial planner to clients and consultant to other financial planners. I help clients and advisors navigate grief by providing deep insight into what grief is and how to navigate  financial matters after the death of a loved one.In 2008, at the peak of the recession, I lost my mother to cancer in August and my father to a broken heart in November. In 2010, my grandmother passed away after a stroke. Then a heart wrenching experience in 2012 of losing my oldest child.I became a financial planner in 2003 during the process of helping my parents in their declining health. In 2011, three years after my parents passed, I became a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ to better help families in need.  Shortly after starting my own financial planning firm, Life After Grief Financial Planning® I was compelled to start Life After Grief Consulting®.  Through my consulting practice I teach advisors how to navigate client grief to help them move through financial and emotional grief without damaging their professional relationships.  In 2021, I became a Certified Financial Transitionist® to complete my personal and professional experience with formal education and scientific theory.   My personal experiences and knowledge of grief and loss of loved ones helps me to understand and assist families enduring similar situations. I’ve helped over 400 families navigate many financial issues and life circumstances such as grieving loss of loved ones.If you are griever or anyone at all looking for help with your personal situation go to lifeaftergrieffp.com. If you are an advisor looking looking to support your client in grief go to lifeaftergriefconsulting.com.  Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

Coming on the heels of the first of a 3 part mini-series.  In last week's episode, I shared a surprise that would lead me down a dark path of discovery, highlighting significant traumas early in my life.  I've been told that my willingness to share will help others. If you are wondering if I received help dealing with these traumas----the answer is yes.  As I advise anyone of my grieving clients to seek the guidance of a trained professional, I did the same.In the spirit of the Super Survivor theme of this season, I have managed to change the trajectory of my life and those who come after me.   Cheers and be well.  #traumarecovery #traumahealing #SuperSurvivor #ChildAbusePreventionMonth #childabuse #therapy #healingjourney #healingtrauma #FinancialPlanning #FinancialAdvisorSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

I have been leading up to some heavy stuff this season.  I have also been told that my willingness to share my experiences with trauma could ultimately help others with theirs.  I am opening up about some of the traumas of my past.  Infidelity and Child Abuse are often taboo topics.  Unfortunately, I have trauma from both as they overlapped most of my life.  Take listen to my story.  If it resonates, I hope it helps you.  If you know someone that experiences any part of my story, please share.  This type of trauma is often bottled up and not dealt with and can have lasting effects on someone's life as well as the intimate relationships they attempt to foster.  If you like this podcast, please feel free to pass this on to your friends, family members and colleagues. Cheers!  See you on the next episode. #traumarecovery #traumahealing #SuperSurvivor #ChildAbusePreventionMonth #childabuse #therapy #healingjourney #healingtrauma #FinancialPlanning #FinancialAdvisorSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

Today I had the extreme pleasure of interviewing and learning from Megan Kopka, CFP®, CRPC®.  Megan is wonderful financial planner with a ton of experience in both life and career.  Megan is also a widow who had the daunting experience of being a caregiver for her husband, while raising two children.  Her ability to not only make it through the experience, but to help others in their journey, is truly remarkable.  I am honored to learn from her.  Megan mentions a wonderful organization on the program, Inheritance of Hope   Inheritance of hope  seeks to bring a community of support to  families facing ALS, cancer, or other life-threatening illness of a parent who would normally feel alone in their journey.  This organization was instrumental in helping Megan and her family through their journey.  Through our conversation you will understand why Megan is a Super Survivor as she used her experience with tragedy to help others.  Megan can be reached through her website Kopkafinancial.com.  If you like this podcast, please feel free to pass this on to your friends, family members and colleagues. Cheers!  See you on the next episode.   Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In today's episode I talk about grief reminders.  I want to be clear that grief reminders are different than grief triggers.I explore the technical definition by the Mayo Clinic.I also use a personal example of a grief reminder that I recently experienced.I also mention free resources for Grief Trigger support.If you like this episode, please free to pass this along to any friends, family members & colleagues.Cheers!See you on the next episode.  Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In today's episode I have the distinct pleasure of RE-Introducing Carolyn Moor.  Although she needs no introduction, Carolyn was the first to introduce me to the idea of Super Survivors.  She is well known as the founder and director of the Modern Widows Club.Today, I have the honor of picking Carolyn's brain in terms of what made her a Super Survivor.  We focus on 4 main areas:Choose Life:  live for the future, not in the pastReach out:  connect with other survivors—or in Carolyn's case create a forum of your own connectionsGet Moving:  set goals and take actionGive Back:  service and acts of kindness empower the survivor to be an asset rather than a victimCarolyn and I speak a lot about a book I referenced earlier in the season. -Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges by Steven M. Southwick & Dennis S. Charney. I would be remiss if I did not mention Carolyn's book,  Legendary windows Stories  of Legacy  by Carolyn Moor and the Modern Widows Club.  Please note all proceeds benefit the Modern Widows Club.If you like this podcast, please feel free to pass this on to your friends, family members or colleagues. Cheers!  See you on the next episode. Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

Super Survivors Volunteer! Super Survivors Volunteer!! Super Survivors Volunteer!!!  I have spoken in previous podcasts about the power of volunteering.  In this podcast I talk about 10 definitive benefits of volunteering.  Furthermore, Super Survivors embrace volunteering in the format of striving to help others.  Here are the 10 benefits mentioned above:1. Provides you with a sense of purposeYou may be able to find your purpose through volunteering and becoming part of something greater than yourself.  For instance, if you’re retired, unexpectedly unemployed or have lost a loved one, helping others can give your life new meaning and keep you mentally stimulated.2. Provides a sense of communityVolunteering can help you feel connected to those you are helping in the community. 3. Helps you meet new friendsVolunteering is a great way to meet new friends as well as strengthen existing connections with friends, family or coworkers. 4. Increases your social skillsVolunteering gives you a chance to talk to new people and sharpen your social skills.5. Improves self-esteemVolunteering may boost your self-esteem and self-confidence.6. Teaches you valuable skillsThe training and hands-on experience you gain while volunteering can help you learn new skills as well as build upon ones you already have. 7. Provides job prospectsAlong with acquiring valuable skills and experience, you may also meet people while volunteering who can become your mentors or at least a part of your professional social network. 8. Brings fun into your lifeMany people use volunteering as a way to pursue their hobbies while making a difference. 9. Can help you be happierIt often feels good to contribute to projects and organizations that mean something to you. These good feelings can help lessen the effects of stress, anger or anxiety in your life. 10. Gets you out of your comfort zoneThrough volunteer work, you may overcome the personal challenges of leaving your comfort zone and doing something new with people you may not know. You may be faced with various problems to solve as a volunteer that require you to exercise critical thinking skills that aid your own personal development.I found the information on the aforementioned steps above from the indeed.com website.  For more information, please see the link below. https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/ If you like this podcast, please feel free to pass this on to your friends, family members or colleagues. Cheers!  See you on the next episode. Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In this final episode of season 5, I interview my brother, Mike.  His experiences coupled with mine bring our shared experience full circle.  Forgiveness is the key.  Looking at the bright side of life does make things better.  We survived with a lot of trauma along the way.  Our hope is that by talking about the hard stuff, it allows just one other person the ability to change the trajectory of their life.Please feel free to share this episode with anyone you think could benefit.  This is the last episode of Season 5.  We will be back after the New Year.  Cheers!   #traumarecovery #traumahealing #SuperSurvivor #ChildAbusePreventionMonth #childabuse #therapy #healingjourney #healingtrauma #FinancialPlanning #FinancialAdvisorSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In this episode we explore Brain Fog.  Simply stated, Brain Fog is the brain's way of protecting itself.Brain Fog  clouds memory function during times of grief, trauma or extreme stress.   Specifically, concentration and  mental acuity are affected.  I noted having a hard time juggling normal tasks without feeling overwhelmed.  I also seemed to forget things with regularity until the brain fog passed.  In my travels and seeking guidance from professionals, I have come across a very good tool which helped me navigate through the brain fog much quicker.  The tool is called the Self Care Wheel.  During times of grief and trauma many people forget or lose sight of the things that keep them fully functional like sleep, exercise, going to church, hanging out with friends/family, meditation, etc.  The Self Care Wheel is a simple reminder of things that keep you grounded and functioning normally.  I have also found refocusing with the Self Care Wheel reduces the effects of memory fog.  Here is the link https://olgaphoenix.com/self-care-wheel/As indicated on the show, here is a link that explains all about brain fog.....https://balancedwheel.co.uk/can-grief-cause-brain-fog/Cheers and see you on the next episode.  #brainfog #finanicialplanning #selfcare #emotionalintelligenceIf you like the show, please feel free to pass this or any other episode along to any friends, family members or colleagues.  Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In today’s podcast I have the distinct pleasure of interviewing Lisa McFarland.  If you recall I interviewed Lisa in Season 3.  Lisa is a mother who has thrived through significant grief from child loss, divorce and caring for a special needs child. In our conversation today, we talk at length about her uncanny ability to become a Super Survivor. During her explanation you will understand the four areas in which Lisa has transitioned from a resilient survivor to Super Survivor.Lisa has decided to :1.  Choose Life:  live for the future, not in the past 2.  Reach out: connect with other survivors3.  Get Moving: set goals and take action4.  Give Back: service and acts of kindness empower the survivor to be an asset rather than a victim Lisa also has three dynamic resources: 1. The Healing Path Podcast   2. Rooted in Connection Blog   3. Scars 2 Medals Online GroupYou can learn more about Lisa and how she helps others at her website ~ www.lisamcfarland.comI was delighted to have Lisa on the show today.  If you like this episode, please feel free to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts.Please feel free to pass this podcast on to any friends, family members or colleagues.#childloss #grief #griefjourneySupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

I am pleased to introduce Super Survivor Donna Kendrick.  Donna was widowed in 2013.  Remarkably, she made Super Survivor status in her plight to make life easier for other widows after her own experience.  Donna found life after grief when she found new love and remarried in 2022.  She now enjoys an expanded family with six children. Donna focuses on helping families in transition.  Donna has many resources available including her podcast,  Widow Wisdom and Wealth.  She has a very intriguing financial biases survey, which has extended downloads available.  She also delivers tremendous value through her blog.Donna and her tremendous resources can be found at https://sephtonfinancial.com.Donna is a star and I was happy to have her on the show. Thank you for listening and supporting the show.  #supersurvivor #resilience #resiliency #newlife #finanicialplanning #financialtransitionist #financialtransitionSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

This episode is all about Super Survivors. A Super Survivor is an individual that faces tragedy head on, turns it on its head and makes use of the tragedy in a manner that helps others.  I talk about a book, which I will refer to periodically this season---Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges by Steven M. Southwick & Dennis S. Charney.On Page 230 we dive into what sets a Super Survivor apart from someone who is resilient alone.A Super Survivor:1.  Faces Facts:  accepts what has happened2.  Chooses Life:  lives for the future and not the past3.  Reaches Out:  connects with other survivors4.  Gets Moving:  set goals and takes actionI use myself as an example throughout this episode as I display many qualities described above.  Super Survivors are  outstanding individuals who have used the experience of a traumatic event(s) to reshape the future of someone else.  How cool is that? Thank you for listening and supporting the show.  #Supersurvivor  #resilience #resiliency #newlife #finanicialplanning #financialtransitionist #financialtransitionSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

As we begin Season 5 with a bang, I have encountered so many strong, enduring and growth minded folks.  In this episode I speak about Resilience.  The power of resilience can be inherited and/or acquired.  In my case, I gained resilience through a combination of both.  Throughout this season you will hear me bring up the concept of Super Survivor.  I was fortunate to be introduced both to the idea and some pretty dynamic Super Survivors.  Some of the Super Survivor we meet have fought through financial despair to find joy in life again.    In my research, I learned that I am also a Super Survivor.For this episode, I have decided to lay the groundwork for Resiliency first.  Focus on the PositiveCultivate Positive ThoughtsInterpret Events PositivelyBehave PositivelyHere is one last tip on the power of resiliency. It takes practice.  Here is a resourceful website on building your resiliency.Thank you for listening and supporting the show.  Cheers!#resilience  #SuperSurvivor #financialplanningSupport the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In the final episode of Season 4, I would like to extend my complete gratitude to all guests, listeners and supporters of the podcast. In my wildest dreams, I  would never have  imagined that my experience, let alone my podcast, would be able to touch so many folks.  I have been told over and over that my podcast has given life, eased the burden, provided perspective and renewed faith in the lives of so many.In this episode, I highlight some of the most popular guests from my four seasons.  I also liken my guest conversations to some of my own life experiences.  I have been truly blessed with having positive and supportive people around me.Thank you, Carolyn Moore (Modern Widows Club), Coach Cindy Richardson (Colonial High School) and Mike Jackson (LPT Realty) for being some of my most popular guests from the past seasons.  I would also like to thank the powerful ladies who have pushed me to  stretch outside of my comfort zone.  Thank you for listening and supporting the show.  Please note that this will be the last episode for Season 4 and we will return during the summer of 2023.  Cheers!#gratitude #financialplanning  Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In today's episode, I have an awe inspiring guest. Please meet Kathi Balasek, MA. Kathi is an educator, grief literacy communication coach, corporate consultant, university lecturer, speaker, podcast host, and widow advocate. She teaches professionals how to improve their grief literacy communication skills to best serve bereaved clients.I asked Kathi to be on the podcast, not only for her accolades, but for the compassion she brings to others during a major transition of widowhood. Kathi truly has a gift that she has decided to bestow on others.  I was very fortunate to have met Kathi as she is very sought after and recognizable for the work she does.  During the show, I was voraciously taking notes on the wisdom she bestowed on me. Kathi noted three very important take-aways, which helped her grief journey as a widow beginning 15 years ago:1.  Begin grief counseling first --put your money here as it will be used to help you process your grief.  Note there are plenty of free grief counseling resources.2.  Work on yourself --emotionally, spiritually and physically - create a nurture rich environment through positive people in your life.  You have to put the work in to progress through your grief.3.  Ask for help --surround yourself with great professionals through recommendations from friends and family members who care for and love you.Kathi's resilience as well as her humility is palatable & I was very inspired after our interview.Please note that Kathi can be reached via her website https://www.kathibalasek.com/, on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube  https://www.kathibalasek.com/Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.

In this week's episode I talk about my experience with Meningitis and the financial impact to my family.  I was in the hospital for 7 days as a child and the financial impact on my family was real. My mother was always a saver and put funds away for rainy days. #Saving #financialawareness #emergencyfunds Support the showDid you know you can now Help Us Continue Making Awesome Content for Listeners Affected by Grief!Thanks for listening! Follow us on twitter or follow us on Facebook. You can also find us on LinkedIn.