SPARK, A Mother-Daughter Journey

In this episode, Sophia and I discuss the epidemic of loneliness, which millions are suffering from around the world.We open with the surprising detrimental effects that loneliness has on our mental and physical health, like how it rewires our brains and increases inflammation markers.What's tricky about loneliness, however, is that we often can't just go out and remedy the issue, because it's contingent on our social skills, the nature of our communities and the proximity of loved ones. Complicated right? What we didn't speak about is how much more prevalent loneliness is in marginalized racial groups, people with low incomes and those who struggle with mental health issues. With this understanding, as we move through the holiday season, perhaps we can be aware of those people in our community who might be at a greater risk and extend ourselves to them in a way that's safe for all. Because we're human, we've both had personal experiences with loneliness, which we share about along with the tools we used to move through it. We can all take action to create a more connected life and we share a few easy things that we can implement starting today.Sophia finishes with her amazing debut song, Lonely, which she co-wrote with Juno Award Winner Meaghan Smith and ECMA Award Winning Producer, Jason Mingo. Lonely is now streaming on all platforms, so please download the song, have a listen and let us know your thoughts on her intriguing  preference to be lonely instead of surviving in a toxic relationship. Congratulations Sophia and thanks everyone for being a part of the SPARK community! 

This stellar conversation is the fourth and final episode (for now) with our champion guest speaker, Sophia's Dad, and my hubby, Blair Abbass. We begin with updates on our lives since we chose to postpone our pod to give our chat with Cindy Thompson from A Resilience Project Podcast its full moment in the sun. It was a difficult one, but a beautifully honest chat on our journey and how we're doing post trauma. If you haven't listened yet, visit: We also had the honor of speaking with Nancy Regan on The Canadian Love Map, about our mother-daughter relationship and how we make it work. To listen, visit:Sophia starts by letting us in on all the big decisions and growth she's doing in her final year of public school. It's so amazing to hear her perspective on these colossal choices like which uni to attend etc.I share about my new, and thankfully fully treatable diagnosis, and the symbolism behind learning to skillfully use my voice.We then move into our conversation with this amazing therapist and educator, Blair Abbass, who opens the topic of repair by emphasizing the hazards of blindly blaming others.We dive into the whole idea of repair, what it means to each of us and why it's essential if we are to have healthy, lasting relationships. Personal responsibility, self-worth, education and  boundaries are but a few solutions we discuss. What about you? What does repair mean to you and what's required in order to return to love with those who matter most in your life? We encourage you to discuss this concept with your people, perhaps using this episode as a conversation starter. As always, we want to hear how it goes and know that we appreciate every rating and response you share with us.Peace to all, Sophia, Jenny and Blair

In this third episode of our four part mini series on relationships with therapist, mindfulness teacher and educator, Blair Abbass, we discuss everything from dysfunctional relationships and red flags to healthy connections and green flags. We each share three red flags that arouse a sense of caution in us, such as addiction, criticism and lack of accountability. Given that Blair is my husband and Sophia's dad, we all found this conversation enlightening as we learned something we didn't know about each other.  We invite you to have this conversation with your family members too, which might lead to possibilities for healthier connections within your family unit.What we didn't know about when we recorded this episode was that there's such a thing as beige flags. Can anyone explain? As always, we hope this discussion helps to shine a light on unhealthy ways of relating so that we can all make relationship choices that support our wellbeing on every level. Here's to healthy, compassionate and emotionally available connections!

In this touching and informative family conversation, we discuss the popular phrase 'law of attraction' with regards to attracting partnerships. I start off by reminding us that our intimate relationships are the most important choice we'll ever make, so it's worth our time and reflection. Our guest, Blair Abbass (my husband and Sophia's father), shares about his conditioned attraction to blond haired, blue eyed women because of his catholic upbringing and the loving nurse that cared for him as a child, which he had to dismantle this in order to recognize the soul connection he felt with me.I share about how I took on finding a life partner with intense vigor and focus back in my twenties, having had mentors in the past who demonstrated what I didn't want. I learned through the process that I had to shift from that negative focus to what it was I actually did want in a life partner.Blair, of course, was very keen to hear Sophia's list for her own future partner, which included a very mature list of qualities. She spoke about how obsessed our society is on beauty and how much young people place so much emphasis on appearances, which is one of her insecurities. Listen in for Sophia's list of qualities for her future person, Blair's admission about how many times a week he apologizes for messing up and how we choose to love each other despite our imperfections.

Join us for our Summer 2023 Wrap up and Reflection!The practice of 'recapitulation' is a meaningful way of closing any experience, or season. Reflecting on the last season helps us to deepen our insight and savour the goodness we've enjoyed. This is what Sophia and I discuss in this episode, as we share:1. A peak experience2. A lesson learned3. A funny memory. Neither one of us knew what story we were going to share so it was a fun surprise.Tune in for an insightful, honest and hilarious conversation about our summer highlights!As we walk this journey together, we invite you to do your own reflection with your family and friends.The three categories we discussed are:What was a peak experience you had?What about a lesson you learned?And a funny memory you have?We'd love to hear your stories too, so feel free to email us with your responses.

In this episode with our repeat guest, the one and only Blair Abbass, we share a surprisingly serious and deep conversation about intimate relationships. After 22 years of being together, we continue to refine and define our partnership, and we share the details of our winning formula. As a witness to our relationship, and a participant within the family unit, Sophia has unique observations and insights that she also contributes, like our relentless willingness to return to love and let the past go.This episode of SPARK is the introduction to a three part series on intimate relationships, because we feel passionate about the love we've cultivated and we know how crucially important healthy relationships are for our overall well being and longevity as humans on the journey. 

In this moving and emotional episode, Sophia and I have a very real conversation about the prevalence of self-harm (TW).We want to be clear that we discuss this topic in it's broadest sense, not by what is presented in the DSM-5, which describes self-harm as:Nonsuicidal self-injury (NSSI), is defined as the deliberate, self-inflicted destruction of body tissue without suicidal intent, which includes behaviors such as cutting, burning, biting and scratching skin.We chose to discuss this topic through the lens of any coping mechanism that causes harm to ourselves, be it physical, mental or emotional means. And let me tell you, I've come a long way from where I was as a teen. I, Jenny, share vulnerably about my experience with self-harm and the oppositional light and dark parts within me, that reflected both my longing to live and my longing for relief from my suffering.Throughout the conversation, I recognize the beauty and importance of feeling sadness about the memory of self-harm, because it speaks to the part of me that does love myself and wants me to live well.We discuss a few of the causes of self-harm, which largely stem from trauma, abuse and mental health issues.We identify key steps we can take for moving from self-harm to self-help and ways we can support others who are suffering.

In this exciting SPARK episode, we chat with the one of a kind duo, singer/songwriter Meaghan Smith and her producer husBAND, Jason Mingo. It's fascinating to hear about them starting out, living and working in LA with the likes of renowned producer Greg Kurstin (who also worked with Pink and Tegan), and how Jason found inspiration in his modest recording set up that still enabled him to produce stellar work. Jason's work recently earned him the ECMA Musician Achievement Award.But aside from the easy topic of success, Jason also speaks candidly about the complication of being a sensitive male in this culture.One of his favourite phrases that he practices regularly is "You may be right", a sharp departure from men's prevelent need to be right and have all the answers.They also speak about how they've both chosen to ignore traditional gender roles in order to equally contribute to their work and parenting.Meaghan shares openly about when she became pregnant a decade ago and the rock bottom moment that followed when they lost their record label and management etc. They both speak about the mental and physical toll that took on their health and eventually, how they rebuilt their lives to reflect both their love of music and family. Ready for these precious words of wisdom? Meaghan explains how perfection affected her early creative years, which she now views as simply a fear of rejection. She now chooses to create from love, enabling her to be more honest and more herself.Finally, as full-time residents of NS, they share how they compose custom songs for people and produce for the entertainment industry all over the world, allowing them to provide a consistent homelife for their two little ones. What was so special for Sophia was when Meaghan spoke about her mentorship role with Sophia and how she wants to provide her with everything she didn't have starting out. Jason agrees that the industry needs more mentorship for supporting the up and coming artists in the field of music and entertainment. Listen in to hear Meaghan's candid response to a former manager who told her to be 'realistic'.And finally, Meaghan's closing statements: "I want to see more of this tending to our spiritual and emotional needs. Afterall, we're artists because we want to create an alternative reality, since so many of us are wounded. You can't stay sick so you can keep creating music, there needs to be healing too. I believe it's possible to have creativity and wellness co-exist."

In this moving and frankly, inspiring conversation, this mother-daughter duo discusses the challenges and rewards involved in pursuing your own passions, even and especially when they lie outside of the cultural norm. This topic arose from Sophia's first big keynote speech that she did for the Mental Health Symposium in NB a few weeks ago (at the age of 17).I share about my difficult, yet fascinating journey of traveling to India to discover yoga and mindfulness and how my life, Sophia's life and thousands of others would be so different had I not taken that leap of faith to follow my heart.We make it clear that pursuing your unique life purpose isn't about climbing the social or financial ladder, but rather about listening inwardly to hear the calling of your highest self. We agree that this connection to our truest self, never leads us astray and most always leads us to a life of fulfillment and happiness. We hope this conversation inspires you to think big in your own life, and to take that one next step toward your dreams.We want to hear your thoughts on this conversation, so please leave a comment and share how this resonates. And if you loved this episode as much as we loved doing it, feel free to leave a five star rating! 

In this very special Mother's Day episode, we chat with Emily Kierstead, my (Jenny's) mother, Sophia's grandmother and a woman who's lost three of her four children.  The three generations discuss Mom's early years when she bravely left NB to attend theological college in Toronto, which women didn't commonly do back then, and how that experience shaped her career in ministry and teaching. She speaks tenderly about her first child, Jennifer, who was stillborn at full term and the faith in a happier future that enabled her to not only try again, but again, and again (yay me!). The conversation became very raw as we spoke about the loss of her son, Jonathan, in 2017 and her daughter, Lisa, in 2020, which she describes as 'heavy trauma', but that she appreciates the gift of having been mother to these incredible souls.Emily shares about the importance of friendship, partnership and passions that have kept her afloat, along with character traits, such as gratitude and hope. We didn't mention him, but Grandpa Don (who's soon to be 90), was sitting beside us the whole time, supporting the process."It seems my life has been a dance between gratitude and grief" she says near the end, which just about sums up the human experience for all of us, if we're fortunate enough to view it that way.Thank you Mom for spending time with us, just one week after your hip surgery, and thank you Sophia for transporting and setting up the tech equipment to make this sacred connection possible. On a final note, we just want to acknowledge how difficult these relationships can be. If you are struggling to connect with a mother, grandmother, or daughter, know that we understand, and we hope that you can find a message in this conversation that might help you to move toward healing and peace.

In this beautiful conversation on the sometimes frightening yet necessary experience of change, we open with our stories of change and how important they were for our personal growth and alignment of our true path.We then reference and unpack the beloved Jewish, Austrian psychiatrist and nazi concentration camp survivor, Dr. Victor Frankl, who once said “Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” We suggest a three step process for embarking on change and close by asking our fellow sparkies to consider what in your life is calling out for change? It doesn’t have to be a complete life renovation, it might be the act of setting a simple boundary or making a subtle pivot that makes the difference.We invite you to share about your change experience as it happens, so feel free to comment here or send us an email at sparkmotherdaughter@gmail.com.Thanks for listening, and if you found value in this episode, we truly appreciate you sharing our podcast with your people.Blessings and love!

In this crazy amazing episode, Sophia and her bestie, Mylene Cormier, share two different conversations, a year apart. The first one is when they were both 15 and the second one was recorded a year later. In these chats, they openly discuss friendship, motivation, body image issues, depression, anxiety and perfectionism and more.Despite their youthful ages, they speak with clarity and wisdom about the struggles of being a girl and a female athlete in today's world. If you have teens in your life, this is a must listen. If you are a teen, you'll want to tune in.Happy listening and learning from these two beautiful souls, and thank you Sophia and Mylene for sharing your light with us!

In this episode, this mother-daughter duo discusses the uncomfortable, yet necessary topic of conflict and confrontation. Sophia starts us off with a quote from the Guardian: “Confrontation is the willingness to address difficult topics, while conflict is the willingness to engage in tense interpersonal relationships” We discuss our relationship with conflict and confrontation and marvel at the generational differences in how we react to them (hint, Sophia’s great with confrontation, Jenny’s preference is avoidance). Jenny suggests that our relationship with conflict might be a spectrum, where on the far left we find the conflict seeker and on the far right we find the conflict avoider. We all tend to live somewhere on that spectrum (a great point of discussion with your family members).We dive into the whole gamut of passive aggression and undelivered communication punishment by ghosting (which can feel worse than outright violence because of its sneaky nature). We both wholeheartedly agree that we’re always communicating somehow, even if we’re avoiding conflict by remaining silent. We also ask ourselves if our comfort with conflict is based on nature or nurture, or a bit of both. Ultimately, we agree that when faced with conflict, we could also stand to keep in mind that we all want intimacy and healthy relationships. So the next time we enter into conflict with another person, we can ask ourselves if our behavior aligns with the highest outcome for the situation.We conclude that neither being a conflict seeker or avoider is better or worse. The key is to become familiar with your triggers and instincts around conflict and then eventually, have the awareness to choose the best approach depending on your situation. The takeaway? Facing conflict is something we women, younger and older, could stand to practice more skillfully.We hope this episode inspires honest conversations with your loved one’s, leading to greater trust and connection.

They're back!!! After a short hiatus from podcasting, this mother-daughter duo comes back together to update you, our listeners, on their lives now. Sophia candidly shares about her struggle to come to the decision to take accutane, the hefty acne medication, and what it was like being on it. She bravely speaks about her experience with therapy and how it supported her journey through this very challenging period in her life. The conversation then shifts to Mom, where Jenny shares about her 10 mth Women of Light Wellness Program that she designed and led, in the midst of the public inquiry. She talks about the alchemical journey that it was for all involved, including her, and how it enriched participants' lives by learning how to use our times of suffering as opportunities to deepen our understanding of ourselves.Having both had birthday's since the last podcast, Jenny turned the big 50 as Sophia celebrated her dancing Queen at 17, they discuss their family rituals for birthdays. As a gift for listeners this year (and for years to come), they share this birthday hand out to help us align with our deepest dreams and live the life we long to live."As a birthday gift to yourself, take a step on the journey of YOU today. By doing so, you’ll ensure that next year this time you’ll be in a new and different place." from the Spark Birthday Handout HANDOUT: https://bit.ly/sparkhandout

In this podcast episode, Jenny and Sophia chat with beloved educator Colleen Shannon.Colleen is an extraordinary educator who commands a lot from her students and gives a lot in return.  Sophia knows this well because she was taught by Colleen in grade 9.  Colleen shares how yoga changed her perspective on what's possible in the classroom, which spurred her on to do her second Masters in Counselling.  Jenny clearly remembers Colleen's Yoga Teacher Training and Girl on Fire Training, because it was during these experiences that Colleen discovered she was gay.  Colleen speaks with honesty and authenticity about her 'privileged' coming out, the GSA Advocacy work she's doing at her school and, of course, the need for more inclusive education.Colleen demonstrates what it takes to be the kind of educator that leaves a lifelong imprint on young people's lives. Please enjoy and feel free to leave a review.

This very special episode, recorded on Mother's Day, is a candid conversation between hosts Jenny and Sophia AND Sophia's younger sister, Bella Rose. After a few minutes of awe inspiring details of Bella's cooking creations, Bella bravely shares about her dyslexia diagnosis. What for many would be a life changing setback, she's learned to view her learning disability as a quality that makes her unique. Bella reminds us not to let our struggles define us and offers concrete strategies for thriving in life at any age.In a world where girls' relationships are often mired in competition and jealousy, it's inspiring to hear these siblings interact so supportively by building on each other's strengths and generously affirming their goodness. We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we enjoyed making it.

*Potential Sensitive Content Warning*We are thrilled to introduce Dan Millman, who’s been transforming humanity for over 40 years, with his dedicated work on personal development and human potential. Author of PEACEFUL HEART, WARRIOR SPIRIT: the True Story of my Spiritual Quest, Dan is a former world trampoline champion, Stanford University gymnastics coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor. His 18 books are published in 29 languages and his first book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, was adapted to film in 2006. As we mark the 2-year anniversary of the April 18-19th mass shooting in NS, we are so moved that Dan opened his schedule up to be with Sophia and I and give this gift to our people, many of whom are still hurting and confused.For what would have been Lisa’s 51st birthday, I, Jenny, posted this quote from Way of The Peaceful Warrior “Be happy now, without reason - or you never will be at all.” We started our chat by discussing the idea of happiness and how it’s possible to experience joy even amidst the grieving process. Dan exquisitely described the crushing pain of grief and how it softens over time, allowing us to move from grief into gratitude. He makes mention of mud and stars and how we always have a choice to see mud or stars in every moment.  He then describes success as making progress toward a meaningful goal and emphasizes the importance of taking action, sometimes small action, to help move us into a different place when we’re suffering. Dan invites us all to consider what we want to bring into the world, and the answer is something we can all work toward. We are most grateful for Dan’s wisdom teachings and we encourage you to visit:  www.PeacefulWarrior.com for his books, events, online courses, and free life-purpose calculator. We are also deeply grateful to you, our listeners and friends, for walking this path with us as we work to create meaningful change in the wake of the NS tragedy.

In this episode, Sophia and Jenny share reflections on their public speaking to a school in NB, and have a good chuckle at Jenny’s rather intense approach to health and healing with grade eights. They discuss the training opportunities coming up with Women of Light and Girl on Fire Empowerment, and share some excitement about their upcoming visit to California. The conversation with Strong Beauty author, Karen Furneaux begins with the acknowledgment of what a generous and kind person Karen is and how much light she shines into the world. She then describes her journey as a young athlete, driven by big dreams who eventually joins the ranks of the small percentage of athletes who actually realize their Olympic dream. Karen discusses her rituals on the water that helped her to enter the flow state before every kayak race and the importance of breath for connecting her mind to her body, which she claims is a key factor in any performance. She shared about her transition from the role of athlete to that of CBC broadcaster and how she’s learned to view new beginnings as exciting, in order to manage stress and anxiety. Conversation closes with Karen‘s passion for speaking to students and her new role with kids help phone. She finds it deeply gratifying to support someone through their darkest moments, and we are all so blessed to have people like Karen walking the earth. To find Karen Furneaux, visit @strongbeautytribe on IG, And Karen Furneaux on FB

As the Public Inquiry into the mass shooting of April 18-19th was approaching, the Mass Casualty Commission asked the public how the massacre has affected their lives?Sophia shares honestly about how unrecognizable she was right after the events. She withdrew from socialization for a year and a half and dealt with her feelings of hopelessness and fear by micro-managing her environment with A LOT of OCD tendencies. We talk about big picture questions, like "Why now, with the girls so young (they were 11 and 13)?" and "Why us, why our family?" Sophia expresses how important it was for her to process it all with us, since it might have been too much for her friends.She talks about her school experience, post massacre, during a pandemic. She wanted to talk about it and no one acknowledged it.She wishes someone would approach her and say, "I'm holding space for you and I want you to know I'm here for you, for whatever you need."This experience has inspired Sophia to increase awareness into trauma-informed best practices.After a small poll regarding trauma with her peers, she concluded that the majority of teens have been traumatized.Jenny talked about the prevalence of traumatized kids and how they act out to cope. She believes trauma literacy needs to become more of a priority in all of our workplaces.Jenny shared a quote by John Eldredge "The accumulation of event after event that we're assaulted by, erodes our confidence that we are a part of something grand and good and reduces us to a survival mindset." She then went on to share the common feelings of being anxious, overwhelmed, scared, irritable like a wild animal, much of the time after the April event.Jenny notices that her life is divided into life before and life after the massacre.She has noticed way more fear and has grown super cautious.And anger? Jenny notices a deep rage surface when she sees her sister's name on the news in google. She's thankful she's got tools to self-regulate, like RBC (relax, breath, choose) which she explains in her Mindfulness in Schools Manual.Both agreed that it's too much to take in for a reasonable mind, since what he did was in such a state of insanity.We hope this conversation supports your own healing journey. We invite you too to talk it out, with a family member or a professional, because it really does help. We’d love to hear your feedback so feel free leave a review!

In this episode, we interview my husband and Sophia's Dad, Blair Abbass. He's an award winning educator, therapist and mindfulness expert whose survived a trainwreck and many other close calls, leaving him convinced that there is a greater purpose to his life.Blair candidly shares the challenges he faced growing up with a Dad who lived with untreated PTSD from fighting in World War 2, which led to alcoholism in the family.  He shares how he developed resilience at an early age and the profound life teachings he's passed on to thousands of students.In this very special conversation, you will gain many insights into relationships, parenting, gratitude and, of course, love, with our favorite guy. Thank you Blair for enlightening us with your hard-earned wisdom and Cape Breton humour.