Stray Bullets

This episode is Part One of Two in which I look at two atrocities, one in 1972 and one in 1987, through the words of two fathers who both experienced the murder of one of their children. Ultimately, this episode will, I hope, help me explore the aspect of 'forgiveness' in the context of conflict, specifically the Troubles. In Part Two (the concluding episode) I would hope to be freer to voice my thoughts - not only on the aspect of 'forgiveness', but also on that of the seeking of an apology, of sorts, as well as repentance from the Provisional IRA. In Part One I have used extracts from the following books:On The Waterfront, Parker, Joseph D., The Pentland Press, 2000Lost Lives. McKittrick, David, et al, Mainstream Publishing 2004     

In this episode I am focusing on two Troubles' murders, those of RUC Sgt Hugh Brendan McCormac and Pat Finucane. Both men were slaughtered in front of their wives and young children. While this episode concludes the theme of 'Doorstep Murders' I felt that these two cases - from the thousands murdered during the Troubles - demonstrated how the killers thought nothing of murdering their victims in very close proximity to the respective families.I do go digress here and there, but I sincerely hope I am able to adequately convey my thoughts without exhausting your patience. I was also minded of, but didn't have time to include in the episode, the following poem by Michael Longley...The Civil ServantHe was preparing an Ulster fry for breakfastWhen someone walked into the kitchen and shot him:A bullet entered his mouth and pierced his skull,The books he had read, the music he could play.Hlay in his dressing gown and pyjamasWhile they dusted the dresser for fingerprintsAnd then shuffled backwards across the gardenWith notebooks, cameras and measuring tapes.They rolled him up like a red carpet and leftOnly a bullet hole in the cutlery drawerLater his widow took a hammer and chiselAnd removed the black keys from his piano.       

In this episode I return to narrative form through which to recount an actual doorstep shooting that occurred in Belfast 1979. As always, names have been changed as well as the Provisional IRA gunman's ground support being slightly altered.After the main body of the occurrence there follows an account of the victim's recollections and thoughts (this may be similar to the Victim Impact Statements of today).This is then immediately followed by segments from a (wider) interview of the gunman post-Good Friday Agreement and in the USA.     

This is just a very succinct update on upcoming episodes and the future of the podcast. Many thanks. I owe a massive debt of gratitude to all who have - and continued to - listen to my thoughts, experiences and reflections on my time as an officer in the Royal Ulster Constabulary during the Northern Ireland Troubles.   

In this episode I briefly recount some of my experiences as an RUC baton gunner. Obviously this is a very contentious subject and I am very cognizant of this. Seventeen civilians were killed by rubber or plastic bullets during the Troubles, eight of the dead were children, all of the dead were catholic. Many others have been gravely injured by the weapon. There remain arguments for its use, as well as arguments against. As I say these are wholly my own thoughts and experiences surrounding my role as an RUC baton gunner. I hope you find something of interest in this episode and, as always, I appreciate your time in listening to such.         

In this episode I take a look at Dissident Irish Republican micro-groups. Rather than a case of considering some of their 'military actions', I'll be focusing on republican ideology as well as theology.How do dissidents view themselves as opposed to  Sinn Fein? What drives their appetite for continuing violence?Is there much difference between dissidents and organised crime groups?I hope to, if not answer some of the above then give food for thought, plus look briefly at the statement by PIRA / Sinn Fein that there was 'no alternative' to waging a campaign of violence.           

In this the second, and concluding part, of my look at the recent BBC TV drama Blue Lights, a drama based on frontline policing in the PSNI, I'll be ruminating on aspects such as threats against police, extra-marital affairs in the RUC / PSNI, the depiction of MI5 and Special Branch in the drama.Obviously this episode is peppered with SPOILERS,    I do think I saw a little subtext in the drama too - I'm most likely wrong, but I thought I'd discuss it anyway to see if it makes sense. This element would very briefly concern the RUC's transition into the PSNI. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy this episode.

Using this opportunity to have a break, of sorts, from specific topics which I'd encountered throughout my RUC / PSNI career. Instead, I'm looking at the recent BBC TV drama Blue Lights, a drama based on frontline policing in the PSNI. I'll spend this episode and the following looking at some of the characterisations and narrative strands within Blue Lights while reflecting upon similar in the context of my career in policing both the Troubles and the 'peace'. I hope you enjoy them. From looking at my notes I think my concluding Blue Lights episode will be slightly longer as I'll be looking at affairs between the ranks (anonymous, of course), MI5 and Special Branch, as well as how - I interpreted - the scriptwriters had embodied the RUCs transition into the PSNI.Thank you, as ever.   

In this episode I'll be recounting an incident which occurred in Ballymurphy, West Belfast, 1993.It involved uniformed RUC officers, CID and members of the British Army. The local PIRA ASU were also involved in the planning and preparation of an attack on the security forces. I'll also be reflecting upon our memorialising and structuring of folk-memory in the context of the Northern Ireland Troubles. The episode is presented within a narrative framework.  

During the Troubles the squeeze of a trigger or flick of a switch could quickly turn the events of the day from mundane to inhumane. For the majority of the time the victims of shootings or bombings would have been vastly unaware of their fate. But sometimes not. How do you process the possibility of confronting someone who wants to murder you? The following occurrence in this episode actually unfolded in the manner recounted. I was present along with two of my colleagues. We were in uniform and on duty. It's a shorter episode that those which have gone before and I hope its brevity does not dilute the gravity of the situation.  Thanks for listening.         

In Part II of 'In Bloody Protest For A Glorious Thing' I continue my thoughts on militant Republicanism in the context of 'Heroic-Sacrifice' and a mythic past to which the Patriot Dead added their names for 'Ireland's freedom'.Ultimately what I wanted to do was look at the literary and historical sources extant in Irish Republicanism which informed its evolving ideology as well as providing PIRA volunteers with the mental tools whereby they could quite happily someone like myself while feeling wholly justified and unconcerned. Maybe the oppressed learn from the brutal methodology of their oppressor? One thing I have come to understand - a long time ago - is that our conflict, the Troubles, is far from simply black and white. The interpretations of who is on the 'Good side' as opposed to who is on the 'bad side' is very subjective and depends on the narrator at the time.This was an incredibly difficult episode for me to assemble, construct, and complete. My mental health took a bit of a bashing, but I think it remains therapeutic in some way?Anyway, thank you again for your generosity of interest. In the next episode I would like to recount several occurrences which happened to me while in the RUC, but which may be a little more light-hearted than those proceeding.        

Part I of II:In this episode I discuss the perception of the Royal Ulster Constabulary held by the Irish Nationalist / Republican community which grew from incidents such as Burntollet Bridge and police baton charges in Derry during the beginning of the Troubles. To do so I look at the actions of the State in respect of that community as well as some of my own encounters and thoughts. To conclude I consider the Hunger Strikes of 1980/81.In Part II I continue my thoughts on the legacy of the Hunger Strikes through to the Good Friday Agreement and the subsequent dissolution of the RUC. I will pepper this episode with my own thoughts and experiences in respect of the ceasefires, policing for change and the advent of the PSNI.Thank you to all who continue to indulge my podcasts. I am immensely grateful.   *'In Bloody Protest For A Glorious Thing' is a line from The Mother by Patrick Pearse      

Since the establishment of Northern Ireland in 1921,  and the Royal Ulster Constabulary a year later,  it has been acknowledged that the RUC was overwhelmingly comprised of those from the protestant community within Northern Ireland. This factor led, in small part, to a lineage of 'police families'; fathers, mothers, sons and daughters continuing the tradition of their forbearers by enlisting as RUC officers.  When the Troubles ignited in 1969 it saw the RUC become over-stretched and constantly having to adapt and counter an increasingly hostile landscape of terrorism  which took a heavy toll on mundane policing practices. It wasn't long before Loyalist paramilitaries assumed a role by which they envisaged themselves as having to protect their own communities given a, perceived, growing absence of police from those areas.  But just how did Loyalist terrorists see themselves in relation to the RUC and how did that relationship  crumble over the period of the Troubles? This is what I hope to discuss in the episode. However, I have not been able to include all I wished and therefore there may be a further episode considering Loyalism and the RUC.                   

In this episode I recount a gun and rocket attack against members of the Royal Ulster Constabulary which took place in Newry during the very late 1980s. The attack was coordinated by the south Armagh Provisional IRA along with elements of the Newry PIRA.As ever, the identity of any individuals involved has been heavily cloaked through changes and alterations to names, locations, characteristics and nuances. The location of the attack remains the same. In the following episode I will be taking a break from these retellings and focus on attitudes towards policing in Northern Ireland, both in a Troubles and post-Troubles context.     

In this episode I recount a sniper attack upon a joint army / RUC foot patrol in West Belfast. To better relate the incident I have characterised both state and non-state actors. I have also used a narrative framework to provide a clearer image of those involved. This account is lifted from personal involvement as well as information available to me at the time, and later. As ever, names and some details have been omitted or altered.The primary characters in this episode are:Dee - a member of a PIRA Belfast Active Service UnitSamuel - a British Army a PFC based in Springfield Road RUC Station, BelfastSandy - a RUC neighbourhood officer stationed in Springfield Road RUC--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Law in the Country of Cats When two men meet for the first time in allEternity and outright hate each other,Not as a beggar-man and a rich man,Not as cuckold-maker and cuckold,Not as bully and delicate boy, butAs dog and wolf because their blood beforeThey are aware has bristled into their hackles,Because one has clubbed the other to death[...]When two men at first meeting hate each otherEven in passing, without words, in the street,[...]There will be that moment's horrible pauseAs each looks into the gulf in the eye of the other,Then a flash of violent incredible action,Then one man letting his brains gently to the gutter[...]Ted Hughes   

West Belfast. Early 1990s. Royal Ulster Constabulary officers are lured to address. Waiting for them is an Improvised Explosive Device and a 'murder corridor' engineered and  primed by the Provisional Irish Republican Army.Presented in a narrative framework this episode explores the impact on ordinary members of the public who find themselves caught up in a plot to murder police and / or soldiers. As with previous episodes the incident is one I recall. I have embellished the characterisations from memory and recorded statements, however as with the location and time the actual incident took place I have changed or altered names and locations as well as the identity of anyone involved, including police.Thank you  for your continued support and interest. This podcast also helps me deal with my Complex PTSD as well as to try and understand my past in such a way that I may imform my present.Coming soon: Episode Seven - an account of a sniper attack on police.          

This episode details a gun attack on members of the Royal Ulster Constabulary at Grosvenor Road RUC station, Belfast in 1992. One officer received a gunshot wound as a result of the attack.The incident also involves a Special Branch asset (tout / agent)  and his handler.To better relate the incident I have created three narrators:Jude - a member of the Provisional IRAMark - a Special Branch officerRichard - a member of the RUC Full-Time ReserveThe above are based on real people involved in the incident. I have also taken the opportunity to expand upon their personalities given information known to me and on speaking to a number of parties involved - directly and indirectly. Obviously, names and specifics of the incident have been altered or changed.Thank you for listening.The next episode will recount an incident involving an IED and a very frustrated PIRA active service unit.    

A narrative account of the attempted murder of a RUC officer during August 1987. This incident occurred in the Royal Victoria Hospital, Belfast. Like so many other incidents at the time it went unreported by local news outlets (during the 1980s and early 1990s the frequency of terrorist attacks usually meant only those causing death, serious injury or extensive damage to property were reported).Again, I have used 'narrators' in order to enhance the listening experience. Naturally, the names used are not those of the actual persons involved. The sequence of events and location remains unchanged.     

This episode is based on an actual occurrence I experienced a number of times in the 1980s. It's recounted in narrative form using three narrators, the primary one being an RUC officer. If this format is preferred by you please let me know (Twitter: @redbrickedslums). If it proves so I'll upload further tales from the Troubles using this form. Thank you.

In this episode I'm looking at how Troubles era Belfast has been represented in fiction. I'll be providing some thoughts  and examples of such. Another aspect I touch on is that of 'The Other', which gives me an opportunity to recite some Heaney, too. In Part Two  - which will form Stray Bullets episode 3 - I'll be talking about my observations and thoughts on the tribalism, sectarianism and totems which I encountered during my service in the Royal Ulster Constabulary and, latterly, the Police Service of Northern Ireland, from the mid-1980s.My novel The Bitter End of Dreams is still available via Amazon and you can send me any feedback etc at Twitter: @redbrickedslums