Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen During and After Treatment

Are you allowing your child to learn through failure? There’s a thin line between offering safety and comfort. Just like safety, offering comfort to your kid is a way of protection. It’s a way to protect your child so they don’t have to experience the hardships and difficulties that you had to go through yourself. But is it really in your child’s best interest to keep them from experiencing unsuccessful events?“By preventing it, you’re also enabling it” - Seth GottliebOur children don’t learn from an unsuccessful event if we rescue them.Our teens don’t learn from the lesson if you pick up the pieces for them.But where’s the line? Let’s discuss it with Seth in today’s episode!In this episode on safety vs. comfort, we discuss:What’s the difference between offering safety and comfort?;Is something ever really a failure or is it an unsuccessful event that can lead to success through learning?;How providing comfort can be enabling;Examples of safety versus comfort in daily life;And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When does your help start to hinder your teen’s growth?As parents, we want to help our kids as much as possible and protect them from discomfort. It seems like our generation has taken this belief to an extreme though. Did you know that the age at which parents allow their kids to go out and explore the world by themselves autonomously (for example by letting them go to the grocery store by themselves to pick up a few items) has almost doubled in just one generation!?But the world has changed, right? And aren’t things sometimes just too difficult to handle for them? We’re all doing it from a place of love!What if I told you that our teens need to experience discomfort in order to grow into independent young adults? The more we keep our teens in their comfort zone, the less resilience they’re building. And on top of that, we’re providing them with less opportunity to learn and grow.“Learning doesn’t come from achieving success or getting what you want all the time.” - Seth GottliebSo how can we support our kids to get ready for independence? Let’s dive into this interesting topic together with Seth today. Have a listen!In this episode on getting our kids ready for independence, we discuss:Where’s the line between helping our kids and hindering their growth into independence?;Independence has changed drastically in just one generation;How independence teaches our kids what it is to be trusted and communicate healthily;How technology takes away the opportunity for our kids to feel autonomous;Holding on to perceptions of your teen of the past instead of who they are today;How can we get our kids ready for independence?;And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Listening is the key that unlocks understanding and it allows us to be more helpful to our teens (and others!). So how can we become better listeners? Not only to our struggling teens, our children, but to everyone around us?“The more I let go of what I think my adult children should or shouldn’t do, the more they have taken accountability for their actions in their life” - Beth HillmanI see it all the time (and believe me, I’ve been there too!): parents who are trying to convince their teen not to do something, and by doing so they trigger them to get defensive. This is the last thing we want, isn’t it? Instead, I’m inviting you to try listening. It might be surprising to you, but the best and most permanent way to change a mind is getting the person to talk in a non-defensive way about their beliefs.So let’s work together on the simple, yet often difficult skill of listening without judgment, opinion, solving, or criticizing. Let’s develop a relationship with our teens where they know we’re here to listen to them. Are you ready? Let’s dive in!In this episode on the fine art of listening for parents of struggling teens, we discuss:How to listen without judgment, opinions, solving or criticizing; What I believe to be THE way to shift our thinking;What it takes to change a mind; Why ‘I feel’ statements don’t always work;Developing the relationship of ‘I’m here to listen to you, kid’;The role of asking questions in active listening;And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.Resources mentioned in this episode:Article: Tell Me More: The Fine Art of Listening by Brenda UelandBook: How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion by David Mcrany Book: I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. SorensenWant to learn more about the skill of listening? Listen back to episode #47 The Power of Listening to Our Kids’ Feedback With Less Harris!

How can you help your teen become more independent?This one simple question will help you boost your parenting skills for daily decision-making.Parenting is an interesting thing… One day our child is completely dependent on us and we’re in charge of everything. Then they grow up and it’s hard to know what we’re still in charge of and what not. How can we best support them to become independent young adults?I can tell you one thing: We step in way more than we need to. “We need to help them turn on their own inner engine, to motivate self-governing, and to influence independence” - Beth HillmanToday’s simple question will help you do a day-to-day check-in with yourself to support independence in your teen and boost your daily teen parenting skills.Alright parent, let’s dive in.In this episode on supporting independence in your teen, we discuss:How to best support your teen to turn on their own inner engine, motivate self-governing, and influence independence?;Is your teen actually asking for your help or not?;Is you trying to help them, actually helpful for your teen?;Is ‘dealing with consequences’ a value you hold in your family?;My personal story of how my son’s showed me they wanted to learn to deal with consequences;And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

How can you help your struggling teen take more accountability? What can you do to help your teen understand choice, consequence, and accountability? Those are the questions Seth and I will be exploring in today’s episode.[Struggling to set boundaries & consequences? Check out my free guide to help you create your own Parent Home Plan 🗺️]Our brain likes going into defense mode. It’s what it does automatically. With conscious work, we can catch ourselves there (and teach our struggling teens to do the same) and learn to recognize that we almost always have a choice in the matter. Even when we feel like we don’t.“It takes a lot of practice to realize what is a choice and what isn’t a choice” - Seth GottliebPushing your teen to take accountability isn’t beneficial for you as a parent or your teen. Instead of trying to force accountability, we’ll discuss ways to grow the conscious awareness of choice and action, leading to an understanding of accountability.In this episode, we discuss:We all sometimes justify our own behaviors by telling ourselves we didn’t have a choice, even if we did;Probing questions to understand (and help your teen understand) their thought process regarding their choice;Helping your teen understand the relationship between choice, action, consequence, and accountability;The role of black-and-white thinking when it comes to choices, and consequences.Validating feelings;Taking accountability for facts versus story;How to bring the conversation and accountability back to facts when you’re used to being lied to by your teen;And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

How can you prepare for your teen to come home after treatment?Last week’s guest mom of a teen struggling with his mental health, suicidal ideation, and self-harm is back and we dive deeper into the journey after treatment, and the lessons she learned (and is learning) in order to come to her own way of being so she can be the best parent she can be.“Letting him figure his life out has been imperative” - Today’s guest momWhat challenges did her son’s return home after treatment bring with it? And what was the most important work this mom had to do for herself in order to make his return work? We also dive deeper into the trauma of being away from home for so long, and the impact of the whole situation on the siblings.“It’s been really helpful to know that if he’s flopping around, doing things I don’t approve of, not following my plans, that’s okay. It’s okay. It’s his life” - Today’s guest momI’m immensely grateful for this mom to share her story. It’s truly inspiring to me, and I hope it will be the same for you. Let’s dive in!In this episode on a mom’s lived experience of her son’s return home after treatment & doing her own work, we discuss:The challenges that come with this mom’s son being back home after having been away in treatment for 1 year and 9 months;How can you manage your own emotions so that you’re not projecting them out onto your relationship with your teen?;What things did this mom specifically work on that helped prepare her home for her son to come home?The trauma of separation after being in treatment and away from home;Her son’s plans for the future;The impact this situation has had on the siblings;Keeping the family unit together when one member is away;What advice would this mom give her old self from 2 years ago?What was it like when her son came home? What’s something she wishes she had done but also something she’s glad she did?And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

“We were mentally panicked. We didn’t want our kid to die and we didn’t know what to do.”Today's episode will hit close to home for many of you. We're diving into the raw and real journey of a mother facing her son's struggles with mental health, including suicidal ideation and self-harm.She reflects on her son growing up as an emotionally needy child, things getting rougher when he became a teenager, and eventually escalating after an event that happened at school during his sophomore year. It was like her son fell apart overnight. He started cutting himself, carving words in his skin, and threatening to kill himself.“We had nothing … in our repertoire of parenting tools about what to do when your kid is having feelings like that. And we really panicked.” - GuestWhat followed was a rocky road of homeschooling, therapy, mental hospitals, wilderness, and a residential treatment center (RTC). “There’s no way to sugarcoat how hard it is. It’s unbearable but you have to walk through it” - GuestIf you've ever felt lost or overwhelmed as a parent, if you're struggling to support a child with mental health challenges, or if you simply want to hear a story of resilience and hope, then this episode is for you. Tune in and listen to this mom's incredible journey of how she lived through her son’s mental health crisis, suicidal ideation, self-harm, and program journey. You won't regret it.In this episode, we discuss:A mom’s lived experience with her teen who struggled with mental health, self-harm, and suicidal ideation;The rabbit hole of thinking back to the past, the ‘what if’s’ and blaming yourself for decisions you’ve made in your parenting;How this mom used to respond to her son’s behavior; The choices this mom made in times of crisis;Her son’s resistance when he was sent to wilderness;The hardest thing this mom had to do in her life;This mom’s lived experience of bringing her son home after wilderness to see if he had done enough work to keep the work going at home;This mom’s realization that the language she was using was invalidating her son’s feelings;What does it mean to do your own work as a parent?;And more!Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

80. What to Do When Your Teen Is Stuck in Unhealthy Behavior?Have you ever found yourself in that heart-wrenching place where you're watching your child or young adult spiral into unhealthy behaviors? Seth and I know that pain all too well, both from our professional experiences and personal journeys.Today, we delve deep into the complexities of this tough subject. We don’t just offer practical advice, but also share our own struggles: Listen to Seth recounting his own experiences when he was stuck in unhealthy behavior and witness the raw emotions involved. And Beth’s story of how she worked through a situation as a parent in which she had to figure out whether her support had turned into enabling.Navigating unhealthy patterns is tough terrain. It requires patience, empathy, and sometimes the courage to set healthy boundaries. While there's no one-size-fits-all solution, there is hope in the journey of self-discovery and growth.In this episode on what to do when your teen is stuck in unhealthy behavior, we discuss:The challenging issue of dealing with unhealthy behaviors in teenagers and young adults;The importance of validation for parents experiencing these challenges;Seth’s personal journey of resistance to change despite recognizing the need for it, highlighting the complexities involved in seeking help and making changes;What did Seth experience as helpful from his loved ones when he was stuck in unhealthy behavior?How can you recognize when support turns into enabling?;The role of changing environments in addressing unhealthy behaviors;The importance of addressing underlying issues rather than simply changing environments or behaviors;Beth shares a personal example of making decisions from an emotional state versus a rational, objective mindset;The importance of processing emotions and thoughts before making decisions;The two feelings Beth looks for as a green flag to know she’s ready to make a big decision;Looking for the rainbow of options in between black-and-white thinking.The importance of open communication, setting boundaries, and considering what individuals are comfortable with regarding support and enabling behaviors;Communicating with your teen from a non-emotional, objective state;Approaching the situation with love and curiosity rather than judgment or control.Other episodes mentioned: #71 How to Live with a Teen Who’s Using#75 Fear-Based Parenting (on supporting vs. enabling)Need support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future e

Ever noticed your brain filling with worst-case scenarios when you have limited information on what’s happening? We’ve all been there. It’s what our brains do. But why? And how can we make sure we’re not parenting out of fear?In this episode, Seth and I explore the concept of fear-based parenting and the tendency to jump to negative conclusions when faced with unknown situations. Both in times of crisis and in everyday parenting, we often have access to limited information, left to fill in the blanks by ourselves. If we want to ditch the negative thought patterns and stop parenting out of fear, we need to learn how to separate stories from facts. Let’s discuss how in today’s episode!In this episode on how our brain responds to uncertainty, we discuss:How our brains respond to uncertainty;The impact of fear on decision-making;Differentiating between facts and stories;Recognizing negative thought patterns;How to proactively gather information when faced with uncertainty;The importance of self-awareness in combatting fear-based parenting;And more!Other episodes on fear-based parenting: #75 Fear-Based ParentingNeed support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Collaborating with your child on technology habits, can you imagine?Or your child making the decision to put down their game console and go for a run instead, not because ‘mom’s been nagging about it’ but because it’s what they want themselves?In this second part of my interview with Emily, we’re diving deeper into how you can collaborate with your teen about their own technology habits. [Haven’t listened to part 1 of this interview yet? Have a listen to episode #77 first!]Listen as Emily shares the ‘Story of my life’ approach she used with the kids inside Family Tech University. Through thoughtful reflection and guided questions, this approach helps teens and kids explore their dreams, aspirations, and the impact of their technology habits on their future selves. In this episode on collaborating with your teen on their technology habits, we discuss:Helping our kids make conscious choices about their technology habits by helping them reflect on the life they want for themselves;How to empower your teen to make wise decisions about technology use;Gradually introducing our kids to technology;Modeling healthy technology habits to our teens and kids;And more!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program.🗺️Create your own Parent Home Plan with the help of my free guide.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.About today’s guest:Emily Madsen Jones is co-founder with husband Dave of Family Tech University; an organization with a paradigm-shifting perspective on powerful tech parenting. She is a writer, author, speaker, and teacher... but her best wisdom on the technology parenting was gleaned from motherhood, via 5 non-perfect, fiercely adored children.You can connect with Emily on Instagram or Facebook.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant battle to manage your children's screen time? Maybe you worry that it’s too late?Today’s guest, Emily Jones, is the brain behind Family Tech University and shares her insights with us today on how to approach this modern parenting dilemma. She emphasized that while it's crucial for parents to set effective boundaries around technology use and provide guidance, it's equally essential to empower our kids to develop their own internal filter when it comes to technology. We want to raise independent young adults, also when it comes to screen timeIn this episode on navigating screen time challenges, we discuss:How to start putting boundaries even when you feel it’s too late;The importance of fostering an internal filter in our children;The difference between demonizing technology and putting healthy boundaries;Modeling healthy behavior around technology and screen usage;And more!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program.🗺️Create your own Parent Home Plan with the help of my free guide.Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!And remember parents, the change begins with us.About today’s guest:Emily Madsen Jones is co-founder with husband Dave of Family Tech University; an organization with a paradigm-shifting perspective on powerful tech parenting. She is a writer, author, speaker, and teacher... but her best wisdom on the technology parenting was gleaned from motherhood, via 5 non-perfect, fiercely adored children.You can connect with Emily on Instagram or Facebook.

How can you shift your parenting focus from your children's behaviors to understanding the emotions and needs driving those behaviors?We know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of focusing solely on your child’s behavior. It’s what you see, what’s on the forefront, and it’s so easy to notice: whether they wake up in time, their grades, etc. Combine this with the fear and uncertainty that being a parent can bring sometimes and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So in those moments, let’s try to tap into the power of understanding and connection.Let’s be clear: behaviors matter. But they're just the tip of the iceberg. When you learn how to dig deeper, you uncover the real feelings and struggles your child might be facing. It's about creating a safe space for expression and connection, where your kid feels seen, heard, and valued.When you parent from a place of empathy and understanding, you can truly transform your relationship with your teen and foster a deeper connection with them.Listen to the entire episode for practical tips and honest discussions on nurturing empathy and connection in your parenting journey.In this episode on shifting your parenting focus from behavior to connection, we discuss:Why parents tend to primarily focus on behaviors;What is your child trying to express through their behavior?;Creating a safe space for expression;Building a connection and relationship with your child;Tapping into your inner child to understand your kid better;And more!If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How can I not rescue, and not enable, and at the same time not leave my kid completely in the dark when they’re struggling?This is the question we’re going to dive into in today’s episode.As a parent, it’s SO hard to see your kid struggling and not knowing how to help. I’ve been there, and I know it’s beyond a nightmare. You’re fearful of doing the wrong thing. Fearful of doing nothing. You’re trying your absolute best but it’s hard to understand the tipping point between what is kind and helpful and what is actually enabling and rescuing. When we start parenting based on our fears, we fall into reactive parenting, instead of being thoughtful. Let’s have a look at what this looks like and some actionable examples of situations we’ve found ourselves in and how we handled (or wish we’d handled) them in today’s episode.In this episode on fear-based parenting, we discuss: Two common ways fear-based parenting can manifest: overprotecting & authoritative; You’re not your child’s friend and shouldn’t behave like one;Power struggles in your family;Owning your own fear and anxiety;Examples from our own experiences;And more.If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How can you support your teen with their college applications without writing every single essay for them?If you have a graduating senior in the house, this question has probably crossed your mind. Are they actually writing their essays? Are they putting in enough effort? How much should you bug them about it?Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, MD, found that the more she bugged her son about it, the more counterproductive it became. It can lead to more fights between you and your kid, damaging your relationship and they still won’t put more work into it.Often it’s just us parents putting our own fears and anxieties on our kids. Yes, college essay anxiety is a real thing among parents.So what then? Should you just let them figure it out by themselves? Yes, and no. I absolutely love the solution Maggie Kang came up with. By reframing the questions she asked her son, she was able to spark conversations with him that inspired ideas for college essays without it forming a wedge in their relationship.Have a listen to today’s episode to learn more about this mindblowing yet simple technique!In this episode on how to support your graduating senior with their college applications, we discuss:Feeling college essay anxiety as a parent;How much should you get involved in your kid’s college application?;How to spark conversations that inspire ideas for college essays;How not to trigger our teen when asking about their progress;And more!If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -More about Maggie Kang, MDDr. Maggie Kang is a board-certified radiologist trained at Yale, mom of two kids. She was the radiologist who was the first to see her nine-year-old daughter’s horrifying brain MRI in the ER. Her daughter was diagnosed with a rare disease, neuromyelitis optical.The ordeal motivated Maggie to shift her focus from radiology to mental well-being. Now a certified Life Coach, Maggie dedicates her time to supporting parents of kids in the rare and chronic disease communities. She also works with physician moms of kids with chronic needs one-on-one in her private coaching practice, MaggieKangMD LLC. Maggie told her story on the TEDx stage, sharing her powerful message that you can choose to accept pain or create suffering. Learn more about Maggie Kang on her website or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Are you choosing to suffer?Pain is part of life – we can’t avoid it. Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, experienced this first-hand when her 9-year-old daughter got diagnosed with a rare disease. The pain this brought was inevitable. But there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Suffering happens when we resist the pain.By resisting to accept what was going on and that this was their new reality, and feeling the need to blame someone (mostly herself), Maggie caused herself to suffer. Until she started to realize things needed to change. When painful events happen, it’s important to take the time to work through them. It’s dark, and it isn’t pretty. But it doesn't last nearly as long as you think. Have a listen to Maggie’s inspiring story and invaluable advice in today’s episode!In this episode on accepting pain or choosing to suffer, we discuss:The importance of community;Feeling alone when your kid gets a diagnosis;The judgment around our children’s diagnoses;The story of Maggie’s child’s diagnosis;The difference between suffering and pain;Where does suffering come from?;And more!If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -More about Maggie Kang, MDDr. Maggie Kang is a board-certified radiologist trained at Yale, mom of two kids. She was the radiologist who was the first to see her nine-year-old daughter’s horrifying brain MRI in the ER. Her daughter was diagnosed with a rare disease, neuromyelitis optica.The ordeal motivated Maggie to shift her focus from radiology to mental well-being. Now a certified Life Coach, Maggie dedicates her time to supporting parents of kids in the rare and chronic disease communities. She also works with physician moms of kids with chronic needs one-on-one in her private coaching practice, MaggieKangMD LLC.  Maggie told her story on the TEDx stage, sharing her powerful message that you can choose to accept pain or create suffering. Learn more about Maggie Kang on her website or connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How do you respond when your kid is feeling sad? Will you try to fix things for them? Help them out? It might feel like the right thing to do but you’re sending out a different message than you likely intended.Seeing your kid struggle with their emotions is hard for many reasons. You want to make them feel better. Sometimes, you might even be running out of empathy because you feel like they ‘should be over it by now’. And it gets especially hard when the behavior looks similar to pre-wilderness behavior, like staying in their room and isolating themselves.In this episode, we’re going to dive deep into the topic of giving ourselves and others the time to feel hard feelings, and how we can model to our kids that feeling those big feelings is completely fine and normal.In this episode on how to feel and let your kids feel, we discuss:How we often put a time limit on grief or other hard feelings;How parents tend to try to control the narrative when they get fearful;How do you know if your teen is processing their feelings or not?;The importance of context;Why we try to control people;And much more.If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How do you live with your teen who’s using? And how do you know whether your behavior as a parent is supportive or enabling? There’s a fine line between the two… As if that isn’t hard enough to figure out already, additionally, many parents are afraid of losing the relationship they have with their teen by having hard conversations or sticking to their boundaries. It’s a difficult subject, and an even more difficult situation to be in, so what better place to talk about it than here on the podcast? Let’s dive in.In this episode on living with your teen who’s using, we discuss:Looking at the patterns you see in your teen’s behavior;Seeing the bigger picture;Understanding what is your part and what isn’t;Getting out of black-or-white thinking;Upholding boundaries without judgment;Remaining in your parent role;The key to understanding what’s enabling or supportive in your family.If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

School and academics can cause a lot of tension in your household. No matter your good intentions or whether or not you have the skills and knowledge to help your teen with their school work, getting guidance and encouragement from you can be triggering for them.On the other hand, it can also cause a lot of frustration for you as the parent when you see your child’s behavior around schoolwork. It can be hard to not let judgment shine through in your communication, which raises the emotions for your teen and leads to even more procrastination and resistance. In this second part of my interview with Chrissy Nichols, an amazing Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments, she tells us more about how an Executive Function coach can help your family. Have a listen!In this episode on giving the gift of an Executive Function coach to your family, we discuss:The difference between EF coaching, academic tutoring and life coaching and how they weave together;Working on your teen’s confidence and self-belief;Taking the judgment out of helping our kids;Giving control to the EF coach;And more!If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -More about Chrissy NicholsChrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

What would it feel like if you just got to love your child at the dinner table instead of having conflicts over due dates or presentations? To be able to take that completely out of the equation? An Executive Function coach might be exactly what your family needs.Chrissy Nichols is an Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. So what does that mean exactly?In short, executive functioning is all about learning self-regulation skills like working memory, mental flexibility, and time management. In other words, Chrissy helps teens by taking big projects and helping them chunk them down into bite-sized pieces so life feels less overwhelming.If academics feel out of your control or have turned you into the academic police at your household, make sure you have a listen to what Chrissy has to share today. Her love for kids really shines through in her words. I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode!If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.In this episode on executive functioning, we discuss:What is an Executive Function coach?;Taking school and academics off your parenting plate;Working on your teen’s growth mindset;Therapeutic burnout;And more!- - - - - - - - - -More about Chrissy NicholsChrissy Nichols is an executive function coach for learners of all ages but specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. After more than 22 years in the classroom, Chrissy's brain hacks help clients see that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them--they just need to learn how to rewire their brain.Chrissy's work is aimed to empower her student clients to empower themselves. For parents, this means taking school and academics off their parenting plates so they can simply love their child. See how Chrissy’s thought concepts can become your executive function concepts over at www.thechrissyconcept.com- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

The journey your teen is on isn’t an easy one. They’re trying to make healthier choices, also when it comes to the people they hang out with. As a parent, you might feel relief when your child decides to cut ties with a ‘bad influence’, making it hard for you to empathize with them. But remember that it’s a completely different experience for them.Even if your teen realizes that this person they’re cutting ties with isn’t a good person to be around anymore, it isn’t an easy process for them to go through. It’s a loss they’re experiencing and they go through a mourning process. Remember that your kid is learning and establishing what is healthy for them. That’s huge! That’s what we want our kids to do, right?! We’re trying to raise self-governing adults and this is a very important part of that.In today’s episode, we dive deeper into how to support your child when they’re going through the loss of ending a relationship even when it feels hard for you to do. Let’s give our kids the support they need.In this episode on supporting your teen in making healthier choices and ending ‘toxic’ friendships, we discuss:Putting the experience of ending a ‘toxic’ friendship into perspective;Relationships are not as black and white as we think;Learning to listen for the sake of listening, instead of for the sake of responding;Realizing what you have control over and what not;Your labels of friends might not be right;Gaining an understanding of your teen’s feelings around a transition in a relationship;And more!If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.And remember parents, the change begins with us.- - - - - - - - - -Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!