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Description
Till The Wheels Fall Off (TWFO) podcast is hosted by Matt and Paige Robinson. TWFO focuses primarily on the relationship dynamics between spouses and partners of alcoholics or addicts and ways to best navigate the difficulties of codependent, addicted, unstable, and narcissistic behavior. The program is enjoyable and informative for anyone seeking self-betterment, inspiration, perspective, or direction with themes ranging from boundaries, recovery, marriage, and parenting with tons of humor built in. With over twenty years of experience in codependency recovery, addiction recovery, mental health battles, and navigating life's hurdles, the duo offers a valuable and unique perspective that is both inspiring and relatable.
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97 Episodes
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We continue to answer listener submitted questions in this episode and address the following: 1. How do you learn to trust yourself and your instincts again when an alcoholic spouse has crippled your sense of self.2. How involved should a spouse or partner be in the decisions around treatment (rehab), aftercare (IOP/PHP/sober living), and even maintenance programs.3. How soon is too soon to start discussing ways the addiction impacted you, the marriage, your children. A spouse or partner...
We took listener questions for this episode and you can expect to find answers to questions such as: What should you expect when outside life events impact the recovery process, how to handle relapse, can trust be rebuilt after several relapses, is there a point at which trust is no longer on the table, how to handle the shame and guilt that comes from others when you stay in a relationship they don't approve of, how to get what you need out of a partner in early recovery, and much more! ...
The recovery journey for a spouse or partner of an alcoholic or addict is not as organized as that of a substance abuser and it's far less controlled. Treatment centers, IOP and PHP programs all over the country offer solace to people struggling from addiction and a safe place for them to get away from their environment to focus on themselves for 30, 60, 90 days or more. The spouse has been clear minded the entire time through active addiction, they pick up extra slack in the relationship, an...
Are they serious? Is this normal? How can you tell if someone is really invested in their recovery? In the world of addiction recovery, it's not exactly cut and dry. There are many paths to recovery, and we aren't concerned with how someone recovers, but as to whether real investment into sobriety and accountability are present. In this episode we discuss the many words, attitudes and actions that will give you more clarity as to whether someone is serious about their recovery and rebui...
Exploring the harsh reality of abuse and its profound impact on spouses, families, and children is no easy feat. Often, we're tempted to deny its existence in our own lives, but that's a dangerous oversight. Our vision gets clouded; we shift blame to addiction or other factors, failing to see the deeper roots of the problem. True liberation demands that we confront uncomfortable truths head-on. It requires tough conversations and even tougher choices.In this episode, we delve into recognizing...
In this episode we discuss anhedonia, or what's commonly referred to as the "blah" feelings of early recovery for both the person coming out of substance abuse, as well as the spouse or partner. We cover the science behind anhedonia as well as what you can do to lessen its effects on your life and get back to feeling better. Many people report feeling "foggy", restless and fatigued, anxious, trouble feeling joy or excitement, and generally numb in early recovery. For many people this leads to...
Simply removing the substance accomplishes very little. The term dry drunk refers to someone that has not done "the work." The work is the uncovering of root causes and discovering the "why" behind someone's inability to cope with feelings and emotions that caused them to turn to drinking in the first place. In this episode we discuss dry drunk as well as emotional sobriety and offer our experience that sheds light on what it takes to move past dry drunk and physical sobriety into emotional s...
Phrases such as "We just need to move forward," "The past is the past, get over it," "Stop bringing up the past" may have a time and place, but not in your relationship post-addiction or after betrayal of any kind. Emotions buried alive never die. While it may be difficult to discuss the past, it's important to discuss it for accountability and to set the stage for healing in the future. When you say "We're not bringing up the past" you're effectively saying that your feelings of guilt and sh...
In general, we don't like to be angry. It's uncomfortable and then we're faced with the proposition of confronting someone that has upset us which brings about an entirely new challenge. When it comes to anger with someone in active addiction, it's often futile to address concerns in a constructive way. So then what can you do with the anger? We propose repurposing it into something useful. It you're going to be angry, you might as well do something with it.Find video clips and full...
In this episode we discuss some of the lessons we've learned in 4,000 days of sobriety. We discuss pain management, and our partnership with Aleve in their new awareness campaign called "The Painful Truth." Our story is as much about healthy and safe pain management as it is addiction recovery and we discuss what pain management looks like today. We get personal and talk about the beauty of a recovered life and our family weekend where every aspect of the lessons we learned were on display. P...
Being labeled a "Villain" is hurtful when you're just trying to protect yourself and your family. In this episode we delve into the complexities of being labeled the "villain" in someone else's story. Paige candidly shares her journey of grappling with self-esteem issues while navigating the role of the villain and the necessity of setting boundaries to protect herself. We explore the challenges of embracing this role for personal growth. We once again tackle the vital topic of setting ...
In this episode we cover a particular type of grief common when loving an addicted person called ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss is a profound sense of loss and sadness that does not stem from the death of a loved one. It may arise from a lack of emotional connection despite someone's physical presence, or conversely, the persistence of emotional ties in the absence of physical closeness. This type of loss leads individuals on a quest for answers, complicating and prolonging the grieving proce...
Is the drinking really as bad as I feel it? Is this a serious problem or am I making something out of nothing? Did I sign up for this? Do I need to just suck it up? Am I overthinking or is my gut trying to tell me something?Addiction never feels like you think it would...chances are if you're asking yourself questions such as this, you're in it. We answer questions from our community in this episode and distill complex problems into clear, simple answers. Find video clips and full length...
Overthinking can plague your mind with many scenarios, many of which are negative and lead to tumultuous thoughts and anxiety. It's more common today than it has ever been and it's not just unique to spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts. Paige has recovered from anxiety disorder and is a self-professed recovered overthinker. We discuss the traps of overthinking and suggest some ways to break the habit that will lead to a more positive and realistic outlook of your life and the situa...
The state of denial never feels like you think it would feel...Most people believe they can intuitively recognize when they're in a bad situation but that's rarely the case. Denial can be a comfortable place to be, but it will suffocate you over time. We discuss 10 truth bombs about denial and our hope is that from this episode you'll be able to distill the true from the false and gain clarity on the facts of your life and relationship.Find video clips and full length video from this episode ...
Infidelity was not part of our story, but we get questions about it weekly. Does the cloud of substance abuse excuse infidelity? Was it really them making the decision to cheat? How do I know if them saying it's not their fault is true? How do you rebuild a relationship after infidelity? We answer these questions and more in our discussion on infidelity from listeners and we hope you glean some much needed answers from it.Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and...
We took questions from the community and extracted the most commonly asked questions about emotional and physical intimacy. We've never openly talked about our sex life or thoughts on it, but we get open and discuss all things intimate in this episode. We talk about how to rebuild intimacy, why men view sex differently, why sex drive plummets for people in early recovery, and talk about how addiction affects this crucial aspect of relationships.Find video clips and full length video from this...
If it were as simple as saying "Just love yourself" then wouldn't everybody have a high self-esteem? The work that takes place within a spouse or partner to rebuild after addiction is something we've talked about for a while, but never like this. Paige opens up in a way she never has before with details on the journey of rebuilding her self-esteem, loving and trusting herself again, and the role validation played in her recovery. Find video clips and full length video from this episode o...
Books like "Codependency No More" and programs like CODA or Alanon offer a lot of helpful insight on the topic of codependency. Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship pattern where one person's self-worth and identity become excessively reliant on the approval and needs of another person. Codependency does explain some of the behaviors that take place in an addicted relationship, but the story is a bit more complex than this. The "Lost" feelings that many spouses and partners have are s...
Being a parent is HARD. The emotional labor and mental weight of decisions rests heavy on healthy couples in equitable relationships. Factor in addiction, and you often have all of the responsibilities of parenting amplified exponentially onto one parent...on top of the weight and uncertainty of being in a relationship with a substance abuser. We discuss the mental load of motherhood and Celeste Yvonne's book, "It's Not About the Wine" to gain an understanding of what "de facto single p...
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matt, I want to challenge you regarding paige's car. maybe she doesn't want it to be a hot mess either. being a mom with kids ill tell you, she probably doesn't have control over it and has let go of it. maybe grab the kids and help her clean it out.