Perfect Womanhood

It's just the beginning, but we are excited to share our Introductory Episode! Learn a little about us, about our stories, and why the fuck we're doing a podcast in the first place. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Starting with the book's introduction, we're set with high expectations and promises to all of the answers. Answers to what? We still don't know! But in our first chapter, "The Body the Temple of the Soul", we're left with still even more questions... Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

In Chapter two, we divulge straight into "The Unfolding of Womanhood" - exciting right? Covering everything from graphic photos of anatomy to the UNREAL expectations of puberty, this shit is only getting more wild, and we're only scratching the surface. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Does puberty in boys really only revolve around "self harm"? Apparently. In this chapter, "Our Boys - The Fathers of the Next Generation", we cover the 1900's version of masterbation, or rather, self harm. It's shocking, disgusting, and a little bit graphic. TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, graphic content, sexual natured conversations. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Boy do we have a treat for you! It's our Halloween BONUS episode! Why are bats associated with Halloween? Why do we bob for apples?? And why the hell are the costumes from the late 19th century and early 20th century so fucking creepy?? This is a great example of what our bonus episodes will be like, only available on our Patreon!  Intro Music by Oleg Fedak from PixabayThanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

We need to sit down and shut up. Well at least according to this chapter we do. We also need to dust when we have feelings of jealousy. Also, marriage can be a rollercoaster. Just like this book. The only trigger warning is for sexism, you know if that sort of thing bothers you.Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Marry money. But don't marry a pleasure seeker.There is no greater burden on earth like a foolish woman tied to a competent man. Make the home a place of rest for HIM and follow the breeding patterns of animals.Oh, and don't rob your children of their birthright.Yep, you read all of that right.  Find these and other great one-liner advice in this week's chapter, Advice for The Unmarried.TRIGGER WARNING: There is mild mention of rape. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

 Get married, or die. Alright, maybe not to that extreme, but it feels damn close. In chapter 6 we dive a bit more into the "how-to" of marriage, without much of the "how-to".  No real trigger points here either, unless we're still offended by sexism.Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

There's no such thing as heredity! Well, there might be. But even if there is, it can be overcome! How may you ask? Well, you can beat your genetics with simple cheerful talk and healthy food, which doesn't include hot bread. Or pork flesh apparently. Come on this wild ride of ridiculous ideas of how science supposedly worked in 1901.EXPLICIT WARNING: Lots of the naughty no-no words. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

It's the longest chapter yet, and the first one we thought we'd skip. Turns out, we're glad we didn't! Let's walk through our first chapter of Part III, "The Organs of Generation" starting with Chapter 8, "The Human Pelvis". Why the fuck it's titled that beats us, because while spend a second on the actual pelvis, we dive into the 1901's version of conception from start to finish. It's gets a little graphic, so if you're squeamish or don't like discussing vaginas and ovaries, you may want to skip a few parts. ;) We'd also like to extend a trigger warning for child loss, and our hearts go out to those who have been through any unimaginable circumstance. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Menstruation isn't fun. But it's even worse when you add poisoning yourself once an hour, cold baths, and hot feet...or was it hot baths, a hard bed, and cold air? Fresh air, elevated hips, and no bath? Maybe you can decipher our Dear Ol' Doc's instructions better than we can. What we know for sure is she was crazy and her remedies likely for sure probably not didn't work....maybe. Join us for Chapter 9, "Menstruation", but don't worry about taking notes... Explicit Warning: Lots of naughty no-no words like usual, but also some minor graphic stuff on periods. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Did you know that if you add too much info to your brain, your other organs will suffer? Including your reproductive organs. HM. WHO KNEW?! Join us for Ch. 10, Pregnancy...... where we learn all kinds of fun "facts" about all the symptoms to look out for. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Chapter 11 brings us to The Discomforts of Pregnancy. Dr. Mary lays out what we can expect, and is so kind to offer things to avoid, and some remedies for things we can't...which include Chloroform, and a nice Boric Acid and Tree Bark jayjay rinse. Sounds wonderful.Explicit Warning! We like to cuss. Trigger Warnings:  We get to the nitty gritty of pregnancy.  Maybe not listen around the kiddos. The medical discussions are NOT medical advice in any way. This entire podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Ch. 12 teaches us about Prenatal Influence and Culture. This is where we learn that our sins are passed down to our children in utero, and if we want our baby to be a doctor, all you have to do is become one yourself while you're pregnant! Just teach yourself some doctor stuff and BOOM. Baby doctor. 1901 was amazing.  Explicit Warning as usual.And as always, this is NOT medical advice. This podcast is complete satire and for entertainment purposes only. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

The long awaited bonus episode of Aqua Tofana, the poison that made history. Was Giulia Tofana a heroine or villain? Explicit Warning! We love our cuss words. Trigger Warning- Murder, Domestic Violence, Torture ect. You get the point. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Men have never had a clue about women's bodies. Ladies didn't need sex. We just suffered from something called Hysteria. And horseback riding helps with that. Insert eyeroll here. We promise you'll learn a thing or two. Obviously this comes with a serious EXPLICIT WARNING. Sexual topic and language. We get a little personal here. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Ch. 13 is Childbirth and how Made Painless. Sounds pretty unbelievable. But just follow her simple rules such as a diet of 14 apples, 8 oranges, 6 lemons and a pound of grapes EVERY DAY and you will be well on your way to a painless birth. Sounds delicious. Explicit Warning: As per usual, we are sailors. TW: Pregnancy and pregnancy loss. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Chapter 14 covers Miscarriage and Abortion. Or rather what an abortion was in 1900. You'd think this would be a heavy episode, but Ms. Mary's ideas on causes, cures and prevention are quite comical. Don't sleep in the same room as your husband, take a country side vacay for 3 months or more, and stay away from train rides. But also, chloroform is perfectly fine. Oh. And take cold showers... Without shocking your system. Sounds easy enough. We want to thank the Dig History Podcast for their insightful episode on this subject, and if you'd like to check out Shannon's Book, you can check this link on amazon!Trigger Warning- If the title or above synopsis doesn't give you a hint, we are covering miscarriages and abortion. And also our colorful language like always. Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

Inflammation of the womb. What is it, you ask? You could read the chapter for yourself, but let us tell you, Mary doesn't even seem to know. This week, Krisi covers Chapter 15: Diseases Peculiar to Women and Their Cure. This chapter has been the roughest chapter to read by FAR, so stumble through with us. From wrapping your body in 9 feet of wet, freezing cloth, to mustard up your vag; I think we've safely determined by now that we're not going to listen to Ms. Mary. Give it a listen and tell us what you think! Be sure to check out our social media for photos we reference in this episode, links below! Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay

This week Emily covers Ch. 16, the dreaded "Change of Life"....or Menopause as we know it. Did you know DEATH can be a result of Menopause if you're not prepared? Yeah, neither did we. And that's just the beginning. This chapter definitely falls on the cons list of living in the late 1800's. Trigger Warnings - Just our usual colorful language. Give it a listen and tell us what you think! Be sure to check out our social media for photos we reference in this episode, links below! Thanks for listening! - Emily & KrisiPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/perfectwomanhoodInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perfectwomanhoodpodcastEmail: perfectwomanhood@gmail.com Sound Effects from Pixabay